People come here all the time and spill their guts.

[Wildaboutheels]

Which I think is a fabulous thing. People can come here and discuss a multitude of things with people who have experience with so many issues and obstacles any CDer faces. [no matter what letters we choose to help "identify" ourselves]

Discuss them PRIVATELY. NOT face to face with someone they know or even a counselor. [even if the counselor was free]

And still. There are obviously lurkers. I think the numbers posted by the site reflect it. People who may read daily but are "afraid" or EMBARASSED for whatever reason to post responses or questions? Surely some of you lurked for a time when coming here?

I don't see any reason people would post to the site and not be honest. Unlike a Dating site, nothing to be gained by misrepresenting oneself.

THIS site itself? I am still a "rookie" here, but there does not seem to be any agenda, that I can see. I see no reason they would doctor any of the numbers.

This entire question actually concerns PRIVACY and I felt compelled to post it because of Shan's question.

Before I can actually post on the PRIVACY issue though, i just need to confirm my suspicions.

Surely most all of you trust this site and the posts you see to be reliable and truthful? If you didn't, you probably wouldn't still be here?

[Mythic]

I trust this site. That's why I signed up a few weeks ago :) Because nomatter how many people accept me, I want advice from others like me. I want to know there are others like me. And I want to support them. I often wonder about the numbers viewing an posting myself.

[Melissa Rose]

For the most part, I believe people are fairly honest about what they post. Sometimes they may be mistaken or misunderstand a situation or event, but it is not on purpose or done to deceive. There some sections where I'm more skeptical than others, and the occasional posts where I want to scream out "I call BS". After a while, you tend to develop a sense of what is fake and what is real. I use my own BS meter and intuition to filter out the crap, but will give everyone the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise or it is too obvious to ignore. Any group or site is going to have a few members who embellish, try to come off more than what they are, or outright lie. They tend not to last too long, and move along when they get bored or ignored.

[Eryn]

The main advantage to this site over a counselor is that here you can discuss your issues with people who actually have been there, walked the walk, etc.

I do trust most of the information that I read here, but it is the Internet and every once in a while somebody will try to pull our legs. There are quite a few people here with finely tuned BS detectors so the fakers don't last long.

As Ronald Reagan was fond of saying "Trust, but verify!" (He would likely have been appalled that this was also a phrase favored by Lenin.)

[Tracii G]

I think most people that lurk are just curious.Then at some point they get the nerve up to post.
Worried they will be found out be neighbors and co workers.
I'm sure there are devious types that lurk here to get their jolly's off.

[Wildaboutheels]

My BS meter is pretty well honed from years at Dating sites. Haven't really seen any "troublemakers/instigators" here but then I pretty much stay in this Forum. I believe there are ways to keep folks honest though.

[Lindsay_T]

not sure what shan's post was, but.... one thing I know.... this is the first place I could express my true, honest feelings.... after probably 40 years of not being able to speak my mind or open up to anyone........ and not feel any embarrassment.... or anyone being judgmental.... ONLY positive supportive comments .... this site Rocks...

[Erin McShea]

not sure what shan's post was, but.... one thing I know.... this is the first place I could express my true, honest feelings.... after probably 40 years of not being able to speak my mind or open up to anyone........ and not feel any embarrassment.... or anyone being judgmental.... ONLY positive supportive comments .... this site Rocks...

I totally agree. After many years struggling with my CDing I starting looking around. My wife has known from very early on about me, but I still felt "weird" and alone. Until I found this site a few weeks ago. I guess I a littl guilty of lurking for a day or two. But after going through a lot of posts I built up the courage to join and post( a huge step for me since NO ONE has ever known except for the wife and I don't really trust most sites). But I have to admit it really feels great and liberating knowing I am not alone in this world with my thoughts and feelings. I truly believe that at this point that this site is better for me than a therapist, because I'm not much of a talker,But I hope to one day.

Erin

[BobbieBrooks]

I lurked here for awhile and then joined. The greatest thing about this site is the information. No matter were you are in your journey, there are others to draw info from. Make ones own journey that much easier. And to know you are not alone, other are feeling the same as you.

BobbieB

[Sandra1746]

I too lurked for quite awhile before I joined. I have learned a lot in both modes. Lurking is like sitting in a class or presentation and not actively participating; no harm done.

As far as truthfulness here, it is likely no different than with any other human interactions. If something sounds too good to be true, or too outrageous, it probably is false. Or at least regarded as suspect until independently confirmed. I do like the site though, it has been a big help to me.

I'm not paranoid, they really are out to get me...;-)
Sandra1746

[Thera Home]

My dear sisters,
I agree that most here are honest and asking"whats wrong with me", would you give someone that askes you for water, sand? I contantly pray for th gift of discernment. The path is treacherous and full of obstacles. But, among the weeds are hiding beautiful flowers. The flowers are precious too me and I will take the chance of ridicule to reach out to them and touch them and smell them.

Thera

[RebeccaLynne]

Surely some of you lurked for a time when coming here?

I discovered this site when I typed "crossdressing" into the address bar and searched. I was new to computers, and had obtained one in order to facilitate my knowledge and understanding of what my options were regarding placement and positions available to me with my new employer. Learning there was a site dedicated to all things in the CD'ing realm was as if I'd come out of the darkness into the light, and I became a member immediately.

Although I read far more than I post, I've gained tremendous insight into the who, what, when, where and why of our rather out-of-the-ordinary desire to wear clothing designated for the opposite sex. And for me, it's so much more than just clothes and make-up; it enables me to express a facet of my being which I had tried to submerge and suppress for most of my life, as it wasn't "manly".

It's great to be here, in the company of others sharing their experiences.


THIS site itself? I am still a "rookie" here, but there does not seem to be any agenda, that I can see. I see no reason they would doctor any of the numbers.

In almost seven years here, IMO the sole purpose of this site is to promote a greater understanding of CD'ing in it's entirety. And I think they've done an outstanding job.


Surely most all of you trust this site and the posts you see to be reliable and truthful? If you didn't, you probably wouldn't still be here?

I trust the site to be genuine, as are the great majority of posters. Sure, some posts are questionable as to their authenticity or believeability, yet make for interesting discussions. I do enjoy reading them, just as I enjoy a good work of fiction.

Although I trust this site, I'm somewhat guarded as to how much detail I'm willing to disclose regarding my personal life. I've posted only one picture, my avatar. Intentionally poor lighting as a hedge against being recognized. Never making public my occupation or detailed family information, nor relating personal anecdotes which could be traceable... yeah, I'm an in-house CD'er, and I like it that way.:)

[Kate Simmons]

In my mind, there is nothing to be gained from making up some kind of "story" Hon.:)

[katie_barns]

I trust this site to be honest. I think, like others have said we all develop a BS meter and can spot a lot of it. My opinion is that the people here are honest and looking for answers. I would assume that some may exaggerate the truth to some extent. Maybe for acceptance or other reasons. As a CD I can see a lot of the issues that I face in the post of others. Been there done that sort of thing. I love seeing how others handle things. That helps me learn to be the person I want to be.

I did some lurking at first to see if this was the type of site I wanted to be part of. It didn't take long to see what a great resource this place was for me personally. I joined very quickly. Since I am not out but to a few and a lot of this site is public I wasn't sure whether to post a picture. I finally said what the heck go for it. I understand those that do not want to. That can cross over into a privacy issue. Other than that it is pretty anonymous here. It seems that how much personal information a person post reflects to some degree how out they are. [Just my opinion].

I have learned to respect certain individuals here and what they post. I can't say that I have come across a site I trust as well as this one; for good accurate information.

[Laura912]

I trust the site but often wonder how it came about and why. There are many here from whom I can learn tricks and many here who are just entertaining. It is because of this place that a few pictures now exist. It is also fun to impart some knowledge if it helps others with different issues.

[Karren H]

I assume that if I post something here or anywhere that it could become pubic information. But if something bad... Really bad was going to happen it would have happened ike 19,000 posts ago.. And I'm still around here because its quite entertaining! Lol.

[Kate Simmons]

I assume that if I post something here or anywhere that it could become pubic information. But if something bad... Really bad was going to happen it would have happened ike 19,000 posts ago.. And I'm still around here because its quite entertaining! Lol.Yeah, I guess that can be either "good" or "bad" Karr, depending on how we look at it. Either NSA doesn't consider us a threat or they don't consider us worth the effort. :heehee::)

[Crissy Kay]

Another very interesting subject!! I think most members here are honest. It it a great place to learn and be entertained as well!!!

[Janet Miller]

I tink that we are here not to "spill our guts" but to connect with others like us and it's fun to share makeup tips, what is going on in our lives and make friends.

[Stephanie47]

I was lurking for quite awhile before enrolling. Why? I wanted to make sure the content of the site was in line with my cross dressing comfort zone. I first thing I do every day, Monday through Friday, is to put on a pretty dress and everything else to become femme. Then I logon to this forum. I find the girls' downloaded pictures to be inspiring. I find the talk on fashion interesting and sometimes helpful. But, my true interest are the heart searching problems others are encountering. This is serious stuff, serious issues affecting relationships. Because, as an elder, I've been there without any knowledge and support, I found that segment of my life conflicted. I see the participants on this site helpful and insightful with information for cross dressers in similar situations. Sometimes, I feel this site is akin to having a brew and talking to a bartender. The aspect of total privacy does enable me and others to say what we feel and experience.

Basically, this site lets me know that "I am not alone!" It tells me others are having similar experiences in life. I hope some of my comments have been helpful in their daily relationships.

[Lorileah]

The main advantage to this site over a counselor is that here you can discuss your issues with people who actually have been there, walked the walk, etc.



Tell me about it my counselor asked what I wanted her to do about it. I thought "isn't that what I am paying you to figure out?" Here I get a friendly shoulder or I get get a different perspective.

I think most here are very truthful. I also think that those who lurked and now are members realized there was more to be gained by having sympathetic ears.

My new therapist is a group practice, Daniels Dickel Cuervo and Beam

[Marleena]

I think most here are very truthful. I also think that those who lurked and now are members realized there was more to be gained by having sympathetic ears.



I agree with Lorileah on this.:) This is like one big family. I know I feel comfortable spilling my guts here. The mods/admins do a great job of weeding out the trolls, fakes and troublemakers. I have made some wonderful friends here.

[GingerLeigh]

The ONLY trouble with completely spilling your guts is if you are a little TOO specific.

I have MANY CD related stories I'd love to share, but far too often the details can point fingers in my direction. I'm already under suspicion with many of my colleagues so it wouldn't take much for someone to connect the dots.

[Xrys]

I found this site after i accepted myself, and joined because I was hungry for knowlege. There was soo much to learn about hair, wigs, makeup, clothing and even things i never thought of before like skin care and hair removal. I think that many who lurk here have not accepted parts of themselves yet, and are afraid to post because it would be an admission to them selves of who they really are. Perhaps some who lurk are friends or family of someone who is trying to understand why their friend behaves the way they do. I dont mind the guests, in fact I welcome them, because with each guest that comes here, they begin to understand more about us. The way I see it, guests who are CD or TS will come to accept themselves and begin their own jorney, and those who are not will still become more accepting of us, and society will begin to shift a little more twards accepting us as a whole. I forsee no downside to this. This site is a wonderful source of information, experience, and support. Without it, I would still have been verry lost indeed.

[Sarah Doepner]

Since I've been coming to the site I've seen about a half dozen individuals who were widely questioned by other members to determine their authenticity. They lasted for a week or so and then went away. We know there are a lot of "guests" who show up to read posts and many of us started that way before becoming members. Like Karren, I haven't had anything bad happen because I post here. Quite the opposite. There are people here who have become friends, several that I have had a chance to meet face to face and they are gems, one and all.

As for the kinds of information that is shared in the posts, the Mods (bow down or curtsey to them for their efforts) do a wonderful job of keeping the discussions appropriate to this forum. The goal here is support for our little slice of the community and there are some things we go through that need to be discussed, even if they seem delicate. It's too easy to get in a negative feedback cycle when we begin to judge, or allow others to judge, some of the things we feel or experience and devalue us as individuals. The forum has given me the chance to see flaws in my thought process, given me great advice and calmed me in times of stress. Can't ask for more than that, but it's there anyway. It's an entertaining conversation with stories that are fun or maybe inspire. We have a chance to see photos of sisters who are beautiful, or not, but are happy with the transformation they can experience.

And I occasionally get a chance to share my opinions, something my wife is bored with now anyway, so thanks for that too.

[Dawn cd]

I think most people here try to be truthful. You have to remember, though, that crossdressers are into the business of creating illusions—presenting themselves in ways that deceive the eye. Not infrequently we get caught up in the pink fog of our own illusions and believe our outer persona more than our inner reality. How many times have you seen a picture-post that asks "aren't I beautiful?" when the actual photo is...well, not beautiful. So, while I think we try to be honest, as a group we are people who sometimes have trouble keeping our feet on the ground.

[Megan_Renee]

I'm probably more of an idealist than most of you girls, but here is my take on this. If a troll comes along and posts a fake post to get a rise out of someone, then so be it. If that fake posts causes you to realize something legitimate, then it's still valuable.

I'm sure there are girls on here who work to get a rise out of others; and that is fine. I'm sure there are girls on here who legitimately try to help; that is awesome. At the end of the day, post what you feel to be true, and if it is helpful, then great!

I hope this makes sense to you all.

[KellyJameson]

I trust the site to be a reflection of life outside the virtual world but because of anonymity that each person decides for themselves it affords certain protections that the real world does not so offers an opportunity for greater transparency within the confines of risk defined by each persons life circumstances.

It would not bother me if someone was not truthful because they are not taking anything from me because I'm not invested in their truth or deception.

In my opinion it is a waste of time and opportunity to not dispense with the social masks and present yourself to the world (forum) as you really are because for most they are not able to do this in their day to day existence and miss out on the opportunity to learn that there are others out there like them and deepen their own understanding of themselves.

Provided they evaluate their sensitivity to the affect others words may have on them.

Many probably lurk because they fear being hurt by those on the forum like they are hurt by in real life, not for sordid reasons

For me trust is not an issue because I'm not going to put myself in a position where I'm doing anything that places me at risk and this risk must be evaluated by each person.

Treat everything you do as a billboard along a highway that the whole world travels and decide to the degree you want that highway to lead to your door.