First Time for Everything

[Sophia Claire]

So, as some of you may know by now, I have lived on a military base since the departure of my wife. A fact that places me firmly in the closet for fear of losing my job. Being so new to this, I have been ordering all of my clothes online, primarily for the anonymity of it. But today is my birthday and so I decided to do something a little different. I had to go get some shaving cream anyway, so I went down to a local store (it was not the kind of place you'd expect to find any cute clothes) and after I picked up the shaving cream, I meandered over to the ladies' section. I bought a body slimmer and a knee-length skirt (Sophie is a modest thing. It might be cute if I weren't so tall). The cashier and I had a staring contest over the items. You could see the question in her eyes "but... why would he... Oh..." You could see the understanding register on her face. It was clear as day. She knew. And you know what? I didn't give a rip if she did.

Talk about liberating!

In a couple of weeks I'm going home to visit my family and I've invited the girl to whom I first came out to go shopping with me for makeup. Maybe even a wig. Sooooo exciting!

[jillleanne]

Well I suppose that's a great way to slip through the cracks without being noticed. "Let's see now, what's on my shopping list", hmmmm,

1. Shaving cream
2. Razors
3. High heels
4. Nylons
5. Dress
6. Bodysuit

Yep, that should do it. No one will ever know!

Hmmmmmmmmmm, things that make you say, Hmmmmmmmmmm

[Megan_Renee]

The cashier and I had a staring contest over the items. You could see the question in her eyes "but... why would he... Oh..." You could see the understanding register on her face. It was clear as day. She knew. And you know what? I didn't give a rip if she did.

So I was at a shop one day and I picked up a black dress and a nice bra... Same bra I'm wearing right now, it's quite comf. Anyway, the cashier gave me a dirty look. I looked back, smiled and made some small-talk. I have a rule that the cashier should be smiling by the time I leave the checkout line, and this was no exception!

I guess what I'm trying to say is this: People generally react poorly when they are surprised. It doesn't mean they're bad people or even hateful, just that they're surprised.

[Karren H]

Wooo!!! Congratulations!! Welcome to the world of well fitting clothing and no returning stuff! (Don't forget to try everything on before you buy!!). Lol.

[terrianncd]

So my wife and I are shoe shopping and I find a nice pair of platform open toe pumps that I just have to have. We go to the check out and the sales girl says to my wife " I could never walk in those heels" My wife just smiles and says " I can't walk in heels that tall, but you should see her.... The look on the sales girls face was priceless. I just had to say to her "would you like me to show you how?" And I did!!!

[Thera Home]

Well I suppose that's a great way to slip through the cracks without being noticed. "Let's see now, what's on my shopping list", hmmmm,

1. Shaving cream
2. Razors
3. High heels
4. Nylons
5. Dress
6. Bodysuit

Yep, that should do it. No one will ever know!

Hmmmmmmmmmm, things that make you say, Hmmmmmmmmmm

Don't forget, a lot of money.

Thera

[Janet Miller]

It is so liberating to shop for clothing, accessories and makeup without feeling like there is something wrong with you. Now that I'm almost full time, I really don't care what a saleslady or cashier thinks. I just smile and make small talk and that usually deflects any untoward feelings. I don't usually shop aone but even when I do, I say to myself that I am spending my good money the way I want to and no one is going to make me do different or feel bad about it.

[Thera Home]

It is so liberating to shop for clothing, accessories and makeup without feeling like there is something wrong with you. .

Hi janet,
I so agree with you on this. This is how it was on my first outing. Loved it.

Thera

[Sophia Claire]

It is so liberating to shop for clothing, accessories and makeup without feeling like there is something wrong with you. Now that I'm almost full time, I really don't care what a saleslady or cashier thinks. I just smile and make small talk and that usually deflects any untoward feelings. I don't usually shop aone but even when I do, I say to myself that I am spending my good money the way I want to and no one is going to make me do different or feel bad about it.

I wouldn't care either, but for that little issue with the job. I've had to hide this for so long it's become instinctive. I kind of subconsciously assume that anybody would/could turn me in for this. I really can't afford to lose this job. Right now, anyway.

[Cynthia Anne]

I think you have everything under control Sophia! You deserve it! And btw; HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hugs!

[StaceyJane]

I live right next to a big military base do I know what its like. I bought my very first skirt at a K mart right next to base. I just went to the register and bought it, Just do it like its no big deal. The cashiers have to many things to do to remember one sale.

[Jill Devine]

Pardon my ignorance but is it really true that a person can be kicked out of the military for CD'ing on your own time behind closed doors? Seems extreme.

[DeeDeeB]

I've been buying most of my wife's clothes for 30 years. So, it wasn't a great leap for me to start buying my own ten years ago. The thing to remember is that no one knows if anything you buy is for you or is a gift, and quite frankly, it isn't any of their business. If they give me a funny look, I give a funny look back. :)

On the jobs note, however, it is still legal to fire anyone for crossdressing in most states in the US. We are included in many hate crimes legislations, but job security is still at risk. So write your congress people to support ENDA with us trans folks included. I work for an "at will" company so they can let me go because they don't like the color of my shirt, but that's another story.

Dee :fairy1:

[rita63]

I am still new at shopping and am learning everytime. I usually shop at thrift stores because I am still learning sizes and styles and what looks good on an old broad. Its such fun learning and doing and trying things on.

hugs rita

[Tracii G]

If I hit the Meijer mega store for groceries I always look thru the ladies dept for nice stuff on sale.
I have a few fave check out girls and I try to go thru their lines.
One always smiles when I have make up or jewelery but never says anything.
One always says wow you know how to pick out the cute stuff on sale.Bought a cute skirt and top and she said did you get the right size? I said sure I'm a 9 and so are these.
She laughed and told me "honey you have great taste and know what works's and winked at me.
I love shopping and seeing the response you get from women.

[Sophia Claire]

Pardon my ignorance but is it really true that a person can be kicked out of the military for CD'ing on your own time behind closed doors? Seems extreme.

Yes, you can be discharged for CDing on your own time behind closed doors. They consider TG/CDs to have a medical condition called Gender Identity Disorder, and it's a condition that is disqualifying for service. That's how they get around the hate crime/discrimination legislation. You almost have to admire the evil genius of it, don't you? It's harsh, but living the lifestyle in the military can be that way. You find ways around it. The military won't go out of their way to find you, but if you get outed, you're out. Coping can be hard, especially for Navy/Coast Guard. If you live on a ship, you have to accept the fact that you're in drab all day every day for the next couple of years. It's nearly impossible to hide that kind of thing long-term in such close quarters. So you find people you can trust to hold your stuff for you (lesbians used to be great for doing this, since you have the mutually assured destruction principle on your side). You just accept that you'll have to go drab a lot. You get used to your clothes being wrinkled because they were taken off the ship in a backpack by your girl buddy, and you start finding places where you can change.

Funny thing is, you can have sex with whoever you want now and nobody can say anything about that. Just so long as you wear the right clothes. Does it make sense? Not really. But then, what can you do? I can't go about arguing the point without outing myself, probably to the world (which would include my parents and I won't do that), and I'd just end up losing my job anyway, so...

[Meghan]

Congrats on making a new start with a fresh perspective. That took an incredible amount of courage.

When there are bumps along the way, remember it's a process, not an event.

Meghan

[Sophia Claire]

UPDATE: bought a bra, panties and a nightgown tonight. Woman in line behind me said "That's a pretty dress, are you planning on wearing it?" Again, due to ingrained paranoia, I denied feverishly. I think I made something up about my girlfriend (who does not exist) punishing me for talking about her parents (by extension, also non-existent) by making me buy her clothes. Weak sauce, but I was sooooo nervous!

One step forward, one step backward. We'll get somewhere eventually, I guess.
...
Sounds like a song lyric, doesn't it?

[kimdl93]

I guess the staring contest ended as a draw. You realized you didn't care, and my guess is that she realized she didn't care either.

Enjoy the shopping trip!

[suchacutie]

That first moment where suddenly the vaneer of privacy of one's feminine self is peeled back is amazing. I know I should have seen it coming when it happened, but it was early morning in a Payless, just my wife and me there, my wife left me to try on whatever shoes hit my fancy, and suddenly an SA appeared (as I'm stepping into a pair of clogs (4.5" heel), and she asks me:

"Are these for you?"

Suddenly the world changes :)