Transition, SRS and former identity

[emmicd]

I am curious how those who have fully transitioned and had SRS dealt with the obvious matters that would concern us all. I will list them out and would like to know how you properly dealt with it. I'm nowhere near the point of transitioning or SRS as I have not yet started HRT.

My main areas of concern are as follows:

1) Once you start to transition when do you start the process of using a feminine name and when do you need to legally change it?

2) How do you deal with all your personal records such as bank accounts, driver's license, birth certificate, IRAs, pensions, life insurance, social security, marriage certificate, deed to your residence?

3) If you transition fully to female how does that impact on your life insurance policies you initiated as a male and how do you explain this if you have a name change and a sex change? How do you insure your family will still be protected in the event of death based on these changes?

4) How does a name and sex change affect your social security earnings. Do you still keep your SSN and entitlement to your past earnings?

5) Once you transition to female are you on HRT for the rest of your life? Are these usually covered under health insurance?

6) What arrangements do you make to see that your professional licenses are maintained in your new gender?

7) If you still have young children when do you notify their school and teachers and coaches of your transition to female gender?

8) When do you notify your employer of your pending transition and how is the best way to do this?

9) If you are religious how do you approach your parish on your pending transition if you have a relationship with the church or religious organization?

10) Sadly, if you are to divorce I would imagine the usual grounds are false pretense and misrepresentation of your gender due to your inherrent need to transition. How do you deal with this and child custody matters?

11) What other matters are important that we all should be aware about as we face transition and SRS?

I wish to gain some insight in regard to how to handle these matters and look forward to your replies.

Thank you.

emmi

[Stephenie S]

I am curious how those who have fully transitioned and had SRS dealt with the obvious matters that would concern us all. I will list them out and would like to know how you properly dealt with it. I'm nowhere near the point of transitioning or SRS as I have not yet started HRT.

My main areas of concern are as follows:

1) Once you start to transition when do you start the process of using a feminine name and when do you need to legally change it?

As soon as possible. Yesterday. Go to the court, ask for the proper forms, and do it. You don't HAVE to. But I should think you would want to.

2) How do you deal with all your personal records such as bank accounts, driver's license, birth certificate, IRAs, pensions, life insurance, social security, marriage certificate, deed to your residence?

You take your name change documents to the bank, DMV, SS office, etc, etc, and ask them to change it. With the proper documents from you, they HAVE to.

3) If you transition fully to female how does that impact on your life insurance policies you initiated as a male and how do you explain this if you have a name change and a sex change? How do you insure your family will still be protected in the event of death based on these changes?

See the above answer. Name changes do not effect SS benefits at all. Remember, women change their names every time they get married. If your insurance policy information is up to date it effects them not at all.

4) How does a name and sex change affect your social security earnings. Do you still keep your SSN and entitlement to your past earnings?

It doesn't effect them at all. Yes!

5) Once you transition to female are you on HRT for the rest of your life? Are these usually covered under health insurance?

Yes. You will have to take estrogen for the rest of your life. No, insurance usually does not cover hormone therapy. However, this is changing as we speak.

6) What arrangements do you make to see that your professional licenses are maintained in your new gender?

Professional licensing boards do not care about your gender. Change your name legally and they will be satisfied.

7) If you still have young children when do you notify their school and teachers and coaches of your transition to female gender?

Whenever you like.

8) When do you notify your employer of your pending transition and how is the best way to do this?

As soon as you are certain. Visit HR and tell them.

9) If you are religious how do you approach your parish on your pending transition if you have a relationship with the church or religious organization?

What does Goddess (or God if you believe in that magic man sitting on a cloud in the sky) care about your GENDER????

10) Sadly, if you are to divorce I would imagine the usual grounds are false pretense and misrepresentation of your gender due to your inherent need to transition. How do you deal with this and child custody matters?

If your divorce is amicable, this should not be a problem. I can't imagine that "false pretenses" would come into play at all. How about "irreconcilable differences"? You will always be a parent to your children. Nothing can change that fact.

11) What other matters are important that we all should be aware about as we face transition and SRS?

Learning how to be a woman is a pretty big one, and perhaps (no, not perhaps. Definitely) the biggest issue for anyone who was socialized as a male. Remember, dear Emmi, that CLOTHES have NOTHING to do with being a woman. This has nothing to do with clothes. You can ALWAYS just wear the clothes.

I wish to gain some insight in regard to how to handle these matters and look forward to your replies.

Thank you.

emmi

While these are all valid questions, they are all VERY unimportant question relating to transition.

You have ONE, and only ONE, important question to answer. DO YOU HAVE TO TRANSITION???? After that, all these other things will fall into place. Questioning what you do with a bank account in your present name is really kind of silly now isn't it? You really knew the answer to that one all along.

Your friend,
Stephenie

[Aprilrain]

Stephenie pretty much covered it, what she said.

[Bree-asaurus]

Stephenie pretty much covered it, what she said.

What she said... about what she said...

You've been posting a lot of threads, asking a lot of questions... and I'm SURE you are going over this in your head ALL THE TIME! But don't jump the gun if you're not ready. You've read experiences of people here who have transitioned. If you aren't at the point where you HAVE TO transition, wait until you're ready.

Forgive my terrible memory but have you done anything to seek out support outside this forum? Aside from a therapist? Have you made any friends in-person who are dealing with similar issues? Have you tried finding a local transsexual group or organization where you could share your story and hear the stories of those who have, or are in the process of transitioning?

I would highly recommend getting some in-person experience (if it's available) before you decide to do anything... especially since you seem so uncertain as to whether you are ready or not.

[juno]

Most of those are name change questions. Women deal with that frequently when they get married, so transition is not a special case, unless you want to go stealth. Then you will necessarily lose your past. That is why I think steath is lame.

Personally, I chose a name so that my first and middle initialsa are unchanged, because that will make things a bit easier for referencing my scientific publications, and because I happen to like a name that starts with the same letter.

The important thing to realize is that many people have done this before, and you can find answers when the time comes. Looking for answers far in advance is not useful because laws are changing frequently. Just take comfort knowing that many people will offer help when the time comes. Cear your mind of technical details, and work on your inside issues for now.

[Stephenie S]

Dear Emmi,

Incoming PMs. Please clear out your mail box.

Stephie