Am I really a Crossdresser??

[Secret_Dresser]

So its about 5am here and for the past hour or so Iv been looking over various parts of the forums. It struck me that I havn't dressed up for quite some time. It appears to be very rare that I do dress when I think back.

I know the answer to the question in the title may well lie in the answer to "Why do you crossdress?" Which currently I'm having trouble answering....

It could also be that the "novelty" of some of my stuff has worn off, even then I currently have no urge to buy anything else.

I do have to thank this site however, since joining the very few times I have dressed I have decided to post pictures of myself and accepting myself for who I am.

Seems I may have some soulsearching to do...

[NathalieX66]

I think, in essence, you dress yourself as you see yourself.
Sometimes with us , something called chromosomes, xy vs. yy, gets in the way.

[docrobbysherry]

We have universal policy here, Secret. U can call yourself whatever u like! If u don't think of yourself as CD, ok by me! Oh, nice to have u here by the way! And, pretty thi-highs!

[Cheryl123]

Hi Secret .. I think whether you are a cross dresser is not as important as being happy with yourself. Some people dress everyday, some stay en femme for weeks or longer. and some dress perhaps once a year. It's all ok. We are who we are, so don't soul search too deeply. Just accept yourself and enjoy life. Take care.

[linda allen]

I think you can cross dress without being a "crossdresser". For example, just because you can play a few chords on a guitar doesn't make you a guitarist or a musician. Just because you have a cheap set of golf clubs in the basement and play two or three times a year doesn't make you a "golfer".

I would say that when you have several items of female clothing that you wear on a regular basis, when you spend a considerable portion of your time thinking about wearing female clothes, and when you plan your activities around crossdressing, you have become a "crossdresser".

And, the door swings both ways so if you get rid of the clothes and other female items and stop thinking about it, you are no longer a crossdresser.

[Sandra1746]

Only you can answer the question of why you cross dress. And the answer may well change over time. People are not "constant" over time and do grow and change as their lives and circumstances around them change.

Life is a journey and each of us finds their own road.

Enjoy the ride,
Sandra1746

[Laurie A]

I can relate to this.

Every so often I get inspired to dress. Sometimes I am motivated by a new skirt or top that I want to try, sometimes its just boredom. I spend what seems like forever trying to make myself over, then I take one look in the mirror and get totally frustrated. Everything comes off goes back in the closet for another long while.

I think of myself as an amateur or part time cross dresser, and that "self definition" is helpful to me right now.

[Kate Simmons]

I'm really not a CD myself, I just use the terminology for convenience. I'm more somewhere between CDing and being a TS but don't plan on transitioning. How we express ourselves doesn't necessarily make us "this, that or the other thing." We are most likely ourselves but just have the preference of doing one thing over the other.:)

[Jennifer W]

I don't consider myself to be a crossdresser per se. I wear what I want to wear when I want to. I just happen to wear womens clothes on a daily basis. But never go "fully" dressed. I underdress most days, but my outward appearance is always male. I just happen to like lingerie in a different way than most men do. I wear it!

[Joanne f]

Are you a cross dresser, a good question and it will depend on whether you are looking at it from your point of view or from others point of view, Why do you cross dress, well some will know the answer to that and some will not , if you are one of the one's that already know then chances are that it is for a very simple reason , if you are one of the ones that do not know then you may go on to realise why you like feminine clothes given enough time, or you may be like so many others who never know Why ,but what ever reason it is just enjoy it as I doubt that it will ever go away :)

[Xrys]

We all are trying to understand why we choose to do some of the things we do. Asking questions about ourselves and our motivations is human nature. Every evening before bed, I set aside a time of self reflection and a hot cup of tea to try to understand myself better. I talk things through with a few close friends to understand myself better. To myself, I am a complete mystery, and each day, I figure out a little more. Soulsearching, self discovery, inward reflection, whatever else you might want to call it is part of being human.

[Tina B.]

Seems funny to me, just how many hang out in a cross dresser forum, that don't consider themselves to be a CD.
You may may a TS, TG, or CD, but if you have guy parts, and wear womens clothing, how are you not a cross dresser/transvestite, when that is all those words mean.
Tina B.

[Stephanie47]

I checked to see your age (21). I think you are too young to figure out whether you are a cross dresser or have a fetish. I think there is a difference. I think the vast majority of people would say a man who wears panties and no other feminine garments has a fetish. A man wearing a dress at Halloween or on a dare is not a cross dresser. I firmly believe a cross dresser's inner being has male and female traits. Genetic or environmental? I don't care. This is not a telethon to cure cross dressers. When I was 21 I was conflicted. I had no access to information. I did not feel comfortable thinking I was gay or a pervert. It took years for me to realize what cross dressing is and isn't. I my youth I tried on my mother's clothing. It was some illicit activity that was sexually motivated. Then, I lost the sexual motivation. I did not feel the desire or any necessity to wear feminine clothing for a long time. What I had experienced still played over and over in my mind. However, I truly had no desire to dress. In my early twenties I went to college. I practiced the "manly art" of warfare. I got married. I had no desire to wear feminine clothing. Then, it began to creep back into my life. First with playful bedroom activity. It wasn't until I started to experience "stress" of the male life that I sought relief in wearing feminine clothing. That's when Stephanie decided it was time for her to assert herself over her twin brother. Stephanie appears to provide relief from various stresses. Stephanie has shown her twin brother there are fun things to do, and, to bury those aspects of maleness that bring conflict to her twin brother.

If you do not have the desire to be en femme, don't push it. If you do not feel the desire to wear any feminine attire for many years to come, don't push it. You may never regain a strong urge to be en femme. Just realize there is nothing wrong with allowing your inner feminine side to appear when necessary to bring you relief from the conflicts of the male world.

[Wildaboutheels]

Obviously, not surprisingly, everyone here is going to have a different take on just WHAT a crossdresser is. Quite possibly if not probably, tainted by just where they fit into this giant CD kettle.

Just for kicks, I typed in "What is a crossdresser"? VVV Just one of some that popped up. It looks "pretty accurate" to me.


http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_crossdressing

[NicoleScott]

Wild, your link provides a pretty good explanation, especially the third paragraph regarding intent. That should clear up the problem some have with women wearing pants or men wearing kilts. Those aren't crossdressing, because there is no intent to appear as the other gender.



And, the door swings both ways so if you get rid of the clothes and other female items and stop thinking about it, you are no longer a crossdresser.

Linda, I see it differently. Many have purged and tried to kick the habit. Even after many years, the desire came back, or really never went away. So maybe the key to your statement is "stop thinking about it". Many here have stopped crossdressing for years, but never stopped thinking about it, and might argue that if you get rid of the clothes and stop thinking about it, you never were really a crossdresser but just some who experimented with it.

What would you call a man who has intense desires to crossdress but never has? (for whatever reason, like no opportunity, no clothes, fear of geting caught, denial, etc.) Is he a crossdresser? If a man has sexual desires for other men but never had sex with one, is he gay? If Jimmy Carter lusted but never....... you get the idea. Are we defined only by our acts?