Do u have sex like a man or woman?

[docrobbysherry]

I read a wonderful post in another thread by our amazing Shannon and it made me wonder! She talked about how she needed romance and affection to want to have sex with someone. While I'm clueless to having a fem side, what she said rang tru for me. :battingeyelashes:

I've always needed an emotional bond before I could be truly turned on to a woman after that first time. I remember my bar days. Sometimes I'd meet some young hottie I'd been admiring and she'd say 3 words and I'd want out!:doh:

In fact, most of my partners have been the aggressors in bed! So, maybe I DO have a fem side? In bed, anyway!:o

It made me wonder how many others here r fem in bed? All the women I can remember being with were girlie girls. But, that didn't stop them from taking over if I was going too slow! :Angry3:

Do u need "romance" to connect with someone? Who's been the aggressor in the bedroom in your experience? U or your dates/SO? :brolleyes:

Leave out all sordid details, please! Just the facts, mam, just the facts!:heehee:

[Deanna Jeanine]

Well Sargent Sherry,
I can say I have had my better sexual experiences while dressed with my GG lover being the "dominate" partner, (but then was I really being a "lesbian trapped in a male body", I'm not sure). I do adore intimacy and tenderness, and like being "putty in my lovers hands"...Just sometimes I become Silly Putty..... :LoL:

[busker]

Yes, frankly, I need something more than" let's hit the bag." I have experience the pushy type and one summer, post divorce, I was in a hotel lounge and a woman attempted to pick me up,she was going to show me the best time I had ever had, and she was pretty good looking, but I said, no thanks, my girl friend wouldn't approve and she was so insistent to the point that I just had to leave. some time later, i met a guy who actually took her up and he couldn't stop raving about the night but for me it just wasn't anything of interest without some human connection.

[Marleena]

Sherry I'm glad you posted this.:)

I wanted badly to comment on Shannon's orgasm description. I didn't want to sound like a perv to her. I guess my one one fantasy would be to experience a female orgasm. The women I've been with have been able to have multiple orgasms per session while I held off on finishing. Once I'm done it takes a while to have another. Hope that's not TMI.


As for being female and needing foreplay and emotional connection I would fall under the female category. I never had a one night stand while single and have been shy like a girl. Not your typical guy, hard and ready for action at the drop of a hat.

[GBJoker]

I know you say to leave out the details, but I can get away with it.

I've always felt EXTREMELY uncomfortable asking a GG or GM out on a date. It just bugs me. And the two times a GG asked me out, I didn't even respond, I literally turned around and walked away. Almost all times in these situations, I had known the other person for less than a month. From what I can tell, these... mentalities, I guess, are percieved by the general community as feminine. This comes from... requiring more information about the person? I don't know. Is that feminine or masculine to want to know a lot about some one before even asking them on the first date? Another weird situation is that one time a GG wanted to kiss me. I had to punch my friend in the stomach, so that he would get out of my way, so that I could get away from the GG. I know, weird as all hell.

Personally, I'd be insanely interested in other people's interpretations of these events, most likely in PM or something, to keep this thread on topic.

In fantasy land, on the other hand, I appear to be like several people on this forum. Very submissive, needing emotional (even fake fantasy) connections, etc.

[Mythic]

I don't know if romance is a necessity but it sure gets me goin! From the small experience I've had I was the aggressor, but probably with the right person I wouldn't mind it bein the other way around.

[silow]

Like a woman. I like to feel and respond as a women.

[Krististeph]

Honestly, when we are in the heat of it- gender does not apply. Yeah, I fantasize about femininity during sex, but we work hard to time things right, and a lot of effort goes to that. I love it when she treats me as a female, and she loves it when i treat her as a female.

But really, gender is not so important when you are hot and bothered- you just do what feels good and right.

[Lorenqt]

When I'm with a guy, I like him to be in total controll. If I'm with a GG, we go back and forth between being in controll.

While romance and emotional connection are nice, they aren't a necessity.

[GaleWarning]

I believe in equality. I also enjoy foreplay more than the actual event.
T and I had a lot of fun trying all sorts of different things!
:heehee:

[whowhatwhen]

I have no idea, what I do know is I have no desire to be in the typical male position at all.
Nor do I really want to use the one eyed monster either.

As far as I can tell I'm attracted to both, but is having it and not wanting to use it selfish?
I often wonder.

[candicd]

85% of the time B is more submissive (for lack of a better term). It can go either way though. When dressed I can be a little more submissive, but B likes me to be in control because I know exactly what buttons to push on her to take her over the edge. B is multiorgasmic to an extreme. I on the other like Marleena am not (damn) :o)

-Candi

[LisaMallon]

Actually I'd say this is the wrong forum Sherry.

[Kathy4ever]

I don't know anymore. The frequency is so far apart anymore. I do relish being the submissive and waiting for her to make the first move now. I guess that is why the frequency is so far apart. many years ago I always initiated, but now I don;t want to. I want the foreplay and her playing with my top area than the bottom area.

[Victoria P]

I have always been somewhat gentle and for a guy not the type to usually push or talk a girl into bed.I am mostly submissive yet attentive with my GF and she's slightly tomboyish and she brings out the most intense girly side of me that I've ever felt.She says when I make myself up and put on pretty lingerie that she gets very turned on by me,which is good.The fact that I moan like a girl when we climax apparently is a bonus,but that's just how I feel.

I hope that helped and that's all the detail I will provide LOL

Hugs Victoria P xo

[Beverley Sims]

Depends on how I feel at the time, just go with the flow.:)

[Vickie_CDTV]

I have to have genuine love for the women I am with (my first girlfriend I knew for almost a year before we formed a relationship.) Without love and a deep emotional bond, it might physically feel good at the moment but afterward it leaves me feeling very empty emotionally inside. I also tend to usually be the submissive/passive partner when it comes to intimacy.

[Rebecca Star]

For me, while the intial physical chemistry of attraction has to be there, a woman needs to seduce my brain not only on an intellectual level, but on emotional levels too, before I'd even consider sleeping with her. Frankly for Moi, having a deep conection turns it from just sex, to a meaningful bond which can be truly amazing!

I'm generally dominant either way. Though sometimes it's nice to switch ;)

[Sophia Claire]

well, this is a little tricky. It all depends, I guess. I mean, I'm very girly about sex most of the time. A fairly aggressive girl, but a girl nonetheless. If I'm in a dry spell (I am well-known for remarkably long dry spells), I lose a little of the girlish attitude and then I'm very much a guy. I do enjoy being the more submissive one, but if my partner isn't quite getting her end of the job done, then you have to step in and take one for the team. If I'm with a partner that prefers to be the girl, then sure, I'll be the guy. Half the fun of sex is seeing just how much you can please your partner. In my opinion, a really strong finish is well worth going at it in a way that you may not prefer. Sex is too much fun to get hung up on stuff like that, IMHO.

[LaurenB]

I'd say it took a long time to figure this out on my own. Our culture makes men so mono-dimensional. This is a good thread for CD's to read and understand that it's ok to be this way. In my case, I'm very much the same as many have posted. I'm attracted to strong, intelligent, assertive women (like my wife). I like it when she takes the lead and I enjoy satisfying her in anyway she likes. We have very long foreplay sessions and we cuddle afterward. If she wants to switch back to the traditional the-man-roughly-takes-what-is-his (which seems to form the basis of much GG fantasy) then I can accommodate but you know she never asks for that. Orgasms are deeply emotional for me.

[Kathy4ever]

That is how i feel. I very vocal at the ending as well. never really thought about it till your post.
I have always been somewhat gentle and for a guy not the type to usually push or talk a girl into bed.I am mostly submissive yet attentive with my GF and she's slightly tomboyish and she brings out the most intense girly side of me that I've ever felt.She says when I make myself up and put on pretty lingerie that she gets very turned on by me,which is good.The fact that I moan like a girl when we climax apparently is a bonus,but that's just how I feel.

I hope that helped and that's all the detail I will provide LOL

Hugs Victoria P xo

[Kate Simmons]

I'm way more aggressive during intimacy when en femme RS. It must be that something gets activated in the genes when in femme mode Hon.:battingeyelashes::)

[kristinacd55]

Curious that this thread is here now......this is the problem in my wife's and my relationship....something that needs to be repaired.
Of course, the part about affection and romance, and intimacy are what it's all about. Good post Sherry!

[Sarah V]

Much more like a woman for me. Though, even with a femme (GG/TG) partner, I have, and can take the lead. I did not see it mentioned as part of reply posts, but I think it is worth mentioned, that I make, and enjoy, my self - pleasure activities as feminine as possible too. I love the intimacy, affection shown to me, and the feeling of security that a partner who is in control is giving me.

[Leanne2]

A few years ago while having intercourse with my wife I felt a "pop" down there. My penis had broken and is still broken. So now sex that way is almost impossible. So now we have " female" sex and it works fine for us. I'm sure that my wife would like my equipment to be like before but I would just as soon have it removed. Leanne

[Maria in heels]

I love to have sex as a woman...to make sure that her partner is satisfied, take care of them first, wait till they are happy before concentrating on myself...

[Sandra1746]

After age, prostate surgery, and various medications the question is not germane.

My wife and I do enjoy intimacy and cuddling but sex, like it used to be, is a distant memory.

Sigh,
Sandra1746

[Tara D. Rose]

For me, it has always been that I needed to have an emotional connection before I can engage in any sexual encounter with a woman. Maybe this is a woman trait, not really sure. Once I was at work in the canteen with several men. A very, very attractive lady walked in, made a puchase and left. All the guys said what they would do with her. They asked me would I do the same thing they were talking about? I said no, for I do not know her. They said I was talking like a woman.

When I make love to my little precious wife and I am Tara, I am so much more like a submissive lover to her like that. When I am in my male side, I am more dominate. I take control. My desire though is always to please her first. She has told me many times that she has noticed that my love making between Tara and my man side is so different as night and day, or like mountains to an ocean.

[Soriya]

Interesting subject and it sounds like majority of us are the same.

CD'ing has never been a part of my sex life with my partners so my response is strictly from guy mode with women only. I have to have some sort of an emotional connection with the women I am having sex with. This was something I learned after the very first time I had sex at 17. She wasn't someone I was dating, just the older sister (25 at the time) of a friend. It was at a party and something that just happened and immediately after and through the next few days, I actually felt like crap. It simply felt empty. I did have a friends with benefits relationship for a short period in my 20's and did not feel that way but in this case, she was someone who I was friends with for a few years and had hung out many times as friends. It was an equal agreeable situation on both our parts thus I did not feel empty as there was friendship connection. For me, it's just not worth it to me to have sex just to have sex. This is why I had gone 3+ years without sex after I broke up with my ex-wife. My friends of course couldn't understand why I didn't turn my house into a brothel once I was single LOL. They just don't understand.

I strongly believe there is a connection to this subject and CD'ing. Not saying all men who are emotional this way are CD's or possible CD's, but I tend to think that men like this are more 'balanced' emotionally and not stuck in what we are taught men are supposed to be like. Then again, a recent hormone panel to check for low Testosterone in me revealed that not only is my T at youthful levels at my age, I have 3 times the amount estrogen naturally. On meds now to bring that down as it can cause health issues like prostate problems but, who knows how long it's been that high. Could that be the reason I am more emotional then most men? Things that make you go hmmmmmm.

[docrobbysherry]

Actually I'd say this is the wrong forum Sherry.
I thot about putting it in another forum, Lisa. But, thot THIS forum would give me a greater spectrum of replies! The more replies, the more I may understand about u and me!


Interesting subject and it sounds like majority of us are the same.

CD'ing has never been a part of my sex life with my partners so my response is strictly from guy mode with women only. I have to have some sort of an emotional connection with the women I am having sex with. This was something I learned after the very first time I had sex at 17. She wasn't someone I was dating, just the older sister (25 at the time) of a friend. It was at a party and something that just happened and immediately after and through the next few days, I actually felt like crap. It simply felt empty. I did have a friends with benefits relationship for a short period in my 20's and did not feel that way but in this case, she was someone who I was friends with for a few years and had hung out many times as friends. It was an equal agreeable situation on both our parts thus I did not feel empty as there was friendship connection. For me, it's just not worth it to me to have sex just to have sex. This is why I had gone 3+ years without sex after I broke up with my ex-wife. My friends of course couldn't understand why I didn't turn my house into a brothel once I was single LOL. They just don't understand.

I strongly believe there is a connection to this subject and CD'ing. Not saying all men who are emotional this way are CD's or possible CD's, but I tend to think that men like this are more 'balanced' emotionally and not stuck in what we are taught men are supposed to be like. Then again, a recent hormone panel to check for low Testosterone in me revealed that not only is my T at youthful levels at my age, I have 3 times the amount estrogen naturally. On meds now to bring that down as it can cause health issues like prostate problems but, who knows how long it's been that high. Could that be the reason I am more emotional then most men? Things that make you go hmmmmmm.
Thank u for your post, Soriya. When I was in high school, my girl friend and were VERY involved sexually. The same with my girlfriend in college. However, I couldn't buy condoms back then, so we did everything except intercourse.

Some of the guy friends had a house on the beach. It was THE party place for all of us! Think: DRINKING! They made a scoreboard and hung it on the wall. It had all the guys who lived or hung out there on it. Every time u got laid by a different girl, u put a check on the board by your name. My name had no checks by it. They used to tease me that I had a girlfriend but we didn't have sex? I didn't think it was anyone's business what we did! Pretty soon they could see I could care less about their board or the teasing and they stopped.

However, I KNEW I was somehow different from most guys. In that all they cared about was sex with anyone who'd let them! And, all I cared about was intimacy!

I was concerned about my T level when I began dressing in my 50's. Tests in my late 50's showed I was a bit low, but normal for my age. I never thot to ask about my estrogen levels!

[Kaz]

Yeah, I was never into the macho thing about 'laying girls' and chalking them up. Many of my best sexual experiences have been with no orgasms involved - just wonderfully deep intimacy. Having said that I have always been lucky to be able to have numerous orgasms and 'keep going'... for me it has always been about being close and being receptive and responsive to my partners needs not mine. There is true joy in truly pleasuring your partner.

[sandra-leigh]

It doesn't take much at all for me to find something attractive about any given woman, and to have the fleeting thought or emotion that I would like to get to know them better and that maybe even a relationship could form. I don't mean that I am "actively looking": I automatically react that way to most women up to about age 65 and down to about age 21 (the older I get, the less the 18-20 year olds look like adults.)

On the other hand, it also doesn't take much for that feeling to be destroyed and not regained. For example if I hear the woman bad-mouth someone. Or if I see her holding a cigarette.

So I would say that I have to be feeling positive about someone in order to feel attracted to them. Which is a phrasing that is often used to describe common female emotional reaction ("romance" is apparently not generally necessary.) I have to feel positive, but I start-off feeling positive about most women.

[kimdl93]

I would say that my wife and I are pretty much equals in bed. She's well aware of the fact that, other than some obvious differences, I prefer interacting with her as a woman. I don't really think the term passive or assertive is really relevant in our case...I think attentive to each other is probably a better characterization.

[Tina B.]

Like many of the older sisters, it is no longer Germaine to my life, but back when it was, she was usually the initiator, and as far as the act it self, I always took a more passive role. For us, it worked great, she liked being in control, and I liked being controlled.

[Veronnie2]

Being in my femme mode almost all the time, yes, I do like romance, but I prefer to be the female that is in me. On a GM date, I prefer for that person to take the lead, and for them to treat me like a woman. On a girl date with another CD, I again prefer to be the non-aggressor. I no longer date any real women since my wife passed. Hmmm, guess that makes me gay...Oh well!!! Veronnie

[sometimes_miss]

My initial reaction to anything intimate is to be in the subordinate, or receptive mode; after all, I was brought up to be someone's girlfriend. As I got older and found that women find this behavior pretty much of a turn off, I learned how to 'act' like what most would consider a 'standard issue male', but it requires conscious acting the part, which interferes with the natural passion that inspires lust, so I have difficulty maintaining erections once I have to concentrate on acting in a way that does not feel normal to me. It's not impossible; but it's difficult. And women don't like guys with erection difficulties, it usually initially makes them think I'm not attracted to them, then, it turns to anger and/or frustration because I'm not the 'normal man' they want. Women nearly universally believe that sexual desire is completely generated from love, so when a guy doesn't get hard whenever she acts sexy, she feels we don't love her, and she gets disappointed, then angry.

[EllieOPKS]

For me its been an evolutionary thing. My whole life I have been the aggressor/initiator. When I was young I was pretty much the aggressor. Most of the girls seemed to be more on the submissive side. Those also generally felt that if sex was on the agenda, so was a long term relationship. I found aggressive type women to be a challenge and fun to pursue, kind of a battle of wills. I was lucky to find one girl who was pretty much on my wave length, that being sex is fun, sex is good, let's not screw it up by talking long term. LOL! Romance, for the most part was more of a commitment than what I wanted to be involved with. There was no disrespect for anyone I dated but it was all about hot and heavy sex. As I got a little older I developed and still have a major desire to have my partner feel like it's the best experience she has ever had. My pleasures are secondary but are naturally taken care of. From the flirting to the curling up together afterwards, I find it rewarding in seeing her smile.

[SuzieLod]

As a man, although would preger to have the romance, lol

[sandcastle]

My initial reaction to anything intimate is to be in the subordinate, or receptive mode; after all, I was brought up to be someone's girlfriend. As I got older and found that women find this behavior pretty much of a turn off, I learned how to 'act' like what most would consider a 'standard issue male', but it requires conscious acting the part, which interferes with the natural passion that inspires lust, so I have difficulty maintaining erections once I have to concentrate on acting in a way that does not feel normal to me. It's not impossible; but it's difficult. And women don't like guys with erection difficulties, it usually initially makes them think I'm not attracted to them, then, it turns to anger and/or frustration because I'm not the 'normal man' they want. Women nearly universally believe that sexual desire is completely generated from love, so when a guy doesn't get hard whenever she acts sexy, she feels we don't love her, and she gets disappointed, then angry.

Lexi, what you describe seems to closely match my own experience. Any advice or tips gratefully received (via topic or PM).

Regards,
Sandra.

[ReineD]

I always shake my head when I see threads about having sex as a woman or as a man, as if there is only ONE way to have sex, and all men are the aggressors and all women are the passive recipients. I swear, this is a CD fantasy! :p

Great sex, in my opinion and experience, is a wondrous getting together of two people who are really into each other and the more creative and varied, the better. Good lord, have you people never seen all the positions in the Kama Sutra? When both people are into it and wanting to please one another, great sex transcends gender. There is no such thing as a set "top" or "bottom", just two souls joyfully exploring each other and doing ALL the different things that feel good.

[Marleena]

I always shake my head when I see threads about having sex as a woman or as a man, as if there is only ONE way to have sex, and all men are the aggressors and all women are the passive recipients. I swear, this is a CD fantasy! :p

Great sex, in my opinion and experience, is a wondrous getting together of two people who are really into each other and the more creative and varied, the better. Good lord, have you people never seen all the positions in the Kama Sutra? When both people are into it and wanting to please one another, great sex transcends gender. There is no such thing as a set "top" or "bottom", just two souls joyfully exploring each other and doing ALL the different things that feel good.

IDK we hear men are slam, bam thank you mam! You know 7minutes tops, and women fake the big "O" or is that stereotyping?:D

BTW my wife says Magic Mike sucks... she saw it today with her GF's.:)

[ReineD]

Those are stereotypes. C'mon, surely we all know to stay from stereotypes here! :p

[Marleena]

Those are stereotypes. C'mon, surely we all know to stay from stereotypes here! :p

So lets talk about labels then.lol.:D

Oh remember this? Meg Ryan fake orgasm.:)

http://youtu.be/b0OeM6UUAoI

[StephanieC]

Oh gosh, it's been years. I'm not sure I remember

[Annaliese2010]

Emotional closeness never used to matter. Now it's more important though I'd never turn down any opportunity to be with a girl in bed when there's at least some chemistry. It's ok with me when a woman takes the more aggressive role. Laying back and enjoying the ride is less work for me.

It's better sex when it's with a woman who I feel intensely attracted to. It's the Best sex of all when that feeling is mutual. Two-way chemistry is soulmate level intimacy. A Transcendent experience!

182658

[Sandy Michaels]

depends on the person and situation. if i'm with someone i care about i try to make the experience a unifying one. which includes the romance and all that stuff. but sometimes "the moment" arises and there is no time for it. go with the flow. i do find it hard being romantic with another male but i appreciate it when they refer to me as sandy instead of by my male name.

[TxKimberly]

What is sex? I've got three children, so I must have known at one point, but the memory is growing vague . . . ;)

[AmandaM]

I wanted badly to comment on Shannon's orgasm description. I didn't want to sound like a perv to her. I guess my one one fantasy would be to experience a female orgasm. The women I've been with have been able to have multiple orgasms per session while I held off on finishing. Once I'm done it takes a while to have another.

Here's something you might find interesting. When I'm in guy mode, I have the usual orgasm. When I'm dressed and submissive to my GG, I have the guy one, and then I have what I can only call a female-type orgasm with waves, etc. that can last for a minute or so. I don't know why this happens. But I ain't complainin'. LOL.

[ReineD]

I don't know why this happens. But I ain't complainin'. LOL.

There's a technique for this. Have a look, and then you'll be able to achieve this all the time! :)

Male multiple orgasm (http://www.whitelotuseast.com/MultipleOrgasm.htm)

[AmandaM]

There's a technique for this. Have a look, and then you'll be able to achieve this all the time! :)

Male multiple orgasm (http://www.whitelotuseast.com/MultipleOrgasm.htm)

Interesting. I did some further googling and found that tantric methods can induce "waves of pleasure" throughout the body. It supposedly works for men and women. Maybe I just stumbled upon it and somehow, mentally, coupled it to my "female side". Will wonders never cease.

[Joanna Maguire]

My wife is a dominant woman It is always her that initiates sex .I am taken.when she desires sex Frustrating for me at times.