For Those Still in the Closet, a question about privacy

[juliannacd]

what steps do you take to protect/safeguard your anonymity, both online and in person? How do you keep your male persona and female persona separate? Any tips -anecdotes welcome- on pitfalls to avoid? Input would be very welcome

[Foxglove]

Hi, Julianna! I'm still in the closet, not out of choice really, but because circumstances make it awkward to get out.

I don't know that I do a whole lot to protect my anonymity. But I do have a separate e-mail account for my girl persona, and on that account I don't list any personal information. I suppose that's one thing you have to be careful of--not to put anything on your e-mail accounts, etc., that would enable people to make a connection between your two personas. I try to be careful, but I don't know enough about computers or the internet to be absolutely sure that I'm protecting myself. If I did accidentally out myself, I'm not sure it would be a disaster for me anyway.

One rather funny thing: my dad and sister have been at me from time to time to get a webcam so they can see me when we Skype each other. I haven't done that because I'm not out to them. I can't tell them the reason I don't have one, obviously, but they just laugh at me. When it comes to technology, I'm still in the Neanderthal stage (though that might be unfair to Neanderthals), so they don't really lean on me too hard.

Best wishes, Annabelle

[Mollyanne]

Hello Julianna, It seems that everyone has forgotten one simple fact, whatever you put out on the internet stays in cyberspace forever!!!!!! An IP address (that is something on everyone's computer) can be traced but it is difficult to do even for the "geeks". Clues to gender indentification come in the form of how we respond to questions. Males respond one way and females respond in another. I realize that this may sound a "little dark" but it is the truth. Me personally, I really don't care if someone discovers that I crossdress or not, I am who I am and have accepted that fact.

Molly

[Foxglove]

Hello Julianna, It seems that everyone has forgotten one simple fact, whatever you put out on the internet stays in cyberspace forever!!!!!!
Molly

I hadn't forgotten that fact, Molly. I just didn't know it to begin with. Now I do. By the way, what is "cyberspace"? Is that something off Star Trek?

[KendraCD2012]

well i'm in the closet to my family but 3 of my friends know of my kendra side, but i mostly to keep in secret have a separate email account with less info about me lol. of course odd as this may sound, i have an xbox 360 and i have 2 accounts, one for me and other for kendra but if my cousins ever turned it on, they'd see both accounts because of how its set up, not my fault but microsofts lol. for the most part though, i love to dress and i'm even going to vegas next weekend and plan to dress and party while i'm out there and one of my friends is weirded out by it and i think he believes people will think he's gay for being with a guy in a dress but he doesn't know how i look yet with makeup and i may pass and no one know the difference lol.

[linda allen]

The door to my closet is cracked, but I am still inside. I am peeking out though. :heehee:

Of course, you will use a screen name, not your given name. You won't divulge your hometown or any other personal information. You won't divulge your email address.

You won't post photos where your face shows clearly. If you do post photos, you won't have something unique (like the Washington Monument) in the background.

It's a real shame we have to have closets, but society set limits on "normal" behavior and cross dressing is outside of these limits. :sad:

[Tina B.]

I'm in the closet, but I don't really hide. I don't wear feminine clothes around people I'm closeted too, but I wear my hair long, as well as my nails, and I wear clear polish, that I've passed off as a nail strengthener. I don't wear shorts around people, but then it's not that hot here so it doesn't stand out to anyone. My biggest thing is I have to watch what I say, I use female words a lot if I'm not careful, and know to much about fashion.
Tina B.

[Sophie_C]

1. Most importantly, I compartmentalize my mind, so that I don't every think of my true, more feminine nature, outside of complete and utter privacy. This reduces how much I slip up in public
2. That being said, I am strongly aware to never use any WORDS that will give away my knowledge of anything TS, TV, or CD. I simply "don't want to hear about it", every time it comes up.
3. But, that being said my nature is too feminine to fully keep it in. I do slip up, even beyond this, all the time. So, I jokingly play along if anyone mentions oh "in a dress" or whatever like "sure, every weekend". But, this is two layers of protection, as most people in America presume feminine characteristics in a man to be an indicator of homosexuality, NOT latent gender identity issues, and consider cross-dressing a subset of homosexuality (just telling the truth on perceptions here), with the odds fairly low on that, as few homosexuals cross-dress.
4. Entirely different accounts with entirely different passwords, security, etc - for everything (this, email, youtube, you name it) linked to nothing (facebook has f*cked with this recently, requiring a phone number, annoying me
5. Zero personal information, and where it's required, it's made incorrect.

But, it is worth saying as time passes, I'm caring less if I was to be found out. Just like Tina, I've found that I use female words all the time, have feminine mannerisms all the time, have to avoid wearing clothes that I like, commenting on women's fashions I appreciate, have to avoid talking about interests and subjects I like, and I'm getting sick of the extreme effort to hide it. All the time I have to do double takes on everything I do, and it's getting more and more annoying as time passes. Even me posting this here is an example of how less I'm caring as it's showing the walls of my fortress. If they find out, I'm quite sure it would be a slight shock, but not that surprising.

[Ally 2112]

As long as i have my freedom to dress when i want im pretty good at hiding .It's when i have to repress the dressing it starts ooozing out of my pores and i start almost giving myself away by my remarks .This is not a good thing :sad:

[charlytuna]

I'm still in the closet except to my wifenobody realy know even there my kids suspect but they don't sayanything. But I do underdress often, that is I wear bras and stuff lijke that out under reg clothes wear out here and there but never went out fully dress. I guess that in my older age I realy don't care who finds out. I just don't put my info out to everyone

[Melissa Rose]

I'm not in the closet, but here are a few internet tips to keep in mind.

Have separate accounts for you boy and girl identities. This includes email, Flickr, Facebook, etc.. Do not send messages between the accounts, have same people on your contact lists, same friends, or visit the same web sites. This avoids the possibility of common links between them. Some sites such as Facebook are notorious from finding connections between common accounts. If you really want to keep things separate, do not use the same internet browser or computer. This helps to avoid common browser cookies from being setup.

From emails, your ISP is easy to trace if you how. It will pinpoint your general location (city), but not your exact location. Further information about your location has to be provided by your ISP provider and cannot be traced from your email. If you want to keep your ISP hidden, use a GMail account. GMail strips most of your email header information so your ISP information is not available.

I have a mail box at a UPS Store so any mail can be sent there instead of my home address.

[Crissy Kay]

I have to agree with everything Melissa Rose said. In addition, I have set up a password protected account on my own PC, like a guest account for all my cd stuff. There is really only so much you can do to keep things private, if you do not want to hide from the world.

[Erina]

I got a free e-mail account on Hotmail, I often do my browsing thru the tor network to avoid a server.

[reb.femme]

......... and know to much about fashion.

Yep, that's something I keep letting slip. Plus I can never avoid touching and sensing a fabric when out shopping. Wife had noticed that one. :battingeyelashes:
Serious side though, definitely a separate email account for the girl in or that is your life.

My face is here for all to see, because actually, I'm really happy with me.

Rebecca x

[reb.femme]

I often do my browsing thru the tor network to avoid a server.

Recently got into TAILS Live DVD/USB operating system. The TOR system is brilliant and of course leaves no info on the host PC :)

http://www.gadgetbox.msnbc.msn.com/technology/gadgetbox/browse-bond-use-any-computer-without-leaving-trace-tails-820868

[Taylor Dame]

I am careful about keeping my communications separate, although i do post pictures on this site. At my age I no longer worry about it. If someone finds out, so be it.

[Rachel87]

As it was mentioned before, I think the same rules for meeting strangers on the internet applies. Don't give any personal information, having a separate girl account helps a lot too. In general, big companies are good at keeping your personal data secured, as long as you protect your password. But be careful with social networks, things you post there tend to be public, so double check it to avoid surprises. If you share your computer with someone else, mind browser cookies and history. Even if you don't leave any account open, online advertising companies do a hell lot of tracking and they display ads related to websites you visit. So I get women clothes ads very often :heehee:. I don't know if anyone would realize that, I don't worry about it. Other than that, it depends on how comfortable you feel. For example, there are ways for people to out me, but only if they are really looking for it. For example my avatar picture. But if someone who knows me and come to this website, I would like that he found about me.

Personally, I avoid wearing shorts when my legs are shaved, but only around family. There is nothing else on my body that could give me out. I hate hiding it so much that I don't care much if people notice anymore.

[whowhatwhen]

firefox -no-remote -P some_other_profile


That keeps CD.com hidden away quite well.
:)

Not that it matters much, eventually I'll be forced out anyway.

[Kaz]

I just keep separate identities and don't have a static IP address. I have knowingly been discovered once, but that was by giving too much information to someone on this site about my 'other' life... Needless to say I shut down all communication with said person.

It is tricky because serious IT geeks will find ways of tracking you if they are so motivated... So watch what you post and how much of your other life you share in this persona...

These days though, I am prepared for showdown! If it happens, I will embrace the new out of the closet existence!

[RADER]

Well I am in the closet rather firmly; I do not use Face-book with anything about dressing.
I have an account, but tied to my Legion only. Rarely use it at all.
I do under dress to a small amount, But never to the point that it would be noticeable.
I use separate PW and E mail accounts for the forum and other thing I use on Line.
My wife is the only one that knows, and she keeps secrets very well.
I dough if I will ever get out, as I am just to large of a man with way to much chest hair,
large shoulders, arms etc to ever look fermium in any way.
I do still like to dress, so I stay in my closet world.
Rader

[giuseppina]

For me, no pictures, no social media accounts, as they are in the news too often for the wrong reasons, always post anonymously, don't allow direct email, and don't tell anyone of my activities other than health professionals who are bound to secrecy by privacy laws, my ISP allows dynamic IP addressing, and use a hardware firewall b/t the radiomodem and the computer.