Do you have genetic woman that you can confide in about your crossdressing?

[Rebecca W.]

I posted an online add to see if there is one woman out there (in my area) that would like a CD girlfriend. I had a woman respond to me and I will see how it works out. I asked her to read the threads on this site before we continue our conversations. I hope that she reads this to prove that I am a "real" person that needs an understanding woman to help me progress into a woman that can go out in public with confidence. One step at a time for me.
I also told her that she can join the forum as a GG and be a part of the group.

[outhiking]

Sounds like an interesting adventure. Good luck, but be careful.

[reb.femme]

I think this approach could be whole can of worms in itself, as there are some very strange people out there.....me included. :battingeyelashes:

I think I would rather confide in someone I know, even though I might lose them if they couldn't be accepting. Moreover, I would be loathe to confide too much in someone I didn't know from Adam.

I appreciate the desire to grow, but with an outright stranger, I'd be cautious!
On the positive, I sincerely hope it works out and you can come back and blow a raspberry to my input :heehee:

Rebecca x

[Rebecca W.]

Thank you for your concerns. I will only chat for now and the first in person meeting will be at a public place if we decide to do that. It is always safe to get such good advice on this forum.

Take care,

Rebecca XO

[RADER]

If this person does contact you after seeing this forum, At least she would be running
away because she found out about CDing.
Good Luck.
Rader

[Shananigans]

Well, it sounds good...but, just be careful. I think it's actually a pretty good idea that you are getting to know her online first.

But, also, just be yourself and don't stress. If you are really stressing about the CDing thing and hammering it in that you need a woman to help you progress to a CD that goes out dressed, you may come off as a bit of a creeper. I know you're just probably wanting to find acceptance in a potential romantic partner...but, as a GG that has waded through the dating pool...if a guy was over-stressing something and kept harping on it, I'd be throwing a flag on the field in my mind.

[rachel_rachel]

I was befriended by a lady on facebook, we'd been chatting and sending photos of each other to each other for a few months, then she gave me her phone number so we were able to chat... We've met on 3 occasions, swapped clothes with each other, and she is going to dress me up some time soon... Then i will get my makeover.

She did admit to me that the first time we met she was worried about to expect, but i also had my wife and kids with me.. All good, we're just a couple of girls now.

[dannygirl]

other than using an ad, how else would you guys recommend meeting up with one?
either a genetic woman, or even a fellow CD.

I'm thinking that it would be nice to have someone to ask whether I'm passing, but probably more importantly be able to hang out with people as a woman.
I haven't actually gone out and try to make friends as a woman, and am too worried about being found out...

[Shannon C.]

I have quite a few GGs that know about my crossdressing. Most of them are close friends from college or work. I just recently came out to all of them after learning to accept myself for who I am. There are a few that friends of my wife that she has told. Most of them have seen a picture of me en femme, but all are very supportive. One of my them actually has a best friend that is marrying a CD later this year. Only one of them has seen me in person dressed, but that will change later this year. I will be going to pride with one of them and she wants to do my makeup before we go.

Dannygirl, I hope that this new contact of yours works out exactly as you want it too. Im not sure of a better way to meet some GG/CD that want to be your friend other than going to local bar that are LGBT friendly. If you go out en femme I suggest being friendly and who knows what may happen. I hope you find what you are looking for.

[noeleena]

Hi,

As im a woman i would be & am very weary of men & i have had experance of one man who claimed he was a dresser. , well theres a bit more , he, & i very devinaty mean a ....HE.....he was after one thing ...sex.... & i told him im not interested & if any one touchs me inapropriatly i would defend my self & take him down & i made sure he got what i said would happen.

I have many friends most are women & i can be very close to them because we are Edwardain members 1900 to 1910, & do dress in period wear. & talk a lot about our style of clothes, & go out every where,

okay maybe not your thing yet think about it get involved with a group that does do dressing up. that way you met others of like mind, you exchange idears, you help each other in a group its more fun & safe & the best part ....you .... get known , & youll find youll have a lot of friends .

My point;s are, be up front honist & be your self & tell them what your about, you wont trust then make sure you are trustworthy.you wont friends then be one first, learn to sew & design & make your own clothes, may be join a sewing class ,

Theres nothing better than being a part of a womens group , im a member of a few,

hope this helps ,

...noeleena...

[dannygirl]

the thing is that I'm unsure how to find these groups that I can join, like a group that does dressing up. A sewing class is probably easier to find though.

I'm considering going to the local LGBT bar. I'm just into CD, but not into getting intimate with anyone, so I'm unsure about the bar.
I kinda really want to be with a bunch of women, and be accepted as one. Also to have someone to understand my situation, and give me dressing up advice.

[BRANDYJ]

I agree with Shananigans above. The one statement you made would be one to cause her to throw the flag on the field.
I hope that she reads this to prove that I am a "real" person that needs an understanding woman to help me progress into a woman that can go out in public with confidence. It sounds like the most important thing on your mind is your dressing and going out in public. Like the only reason you want a GG is to help you become fem. What about the relationship? What do you offer her? If I were a GG that could accept a CD in a relationship, but he made it clear that the most important part of my involvement was to further his dressing, I'd be throwing that flag on the field too. Most of us that are a CD would be happy to have a GG that simply accepts this as a part of who we are. But you make it out to be the most important reason to have a relationship with a GG. I would not be asking her to help me progress into a woman and go out in public. I'd be trying to build a relationship on everything but the CDing first, and see where she may want to take it.

[Kate Simmons]

I agree with Shan. A lot depends on what your motivation is to find someone of that ilk.:)

[sometimes_miss]

IRL, I used to, many years ago, but she moved away. Right now, I have a sort of pen pal of sorts that I write to once in a while, but sadly exhaustion from work and family responsibilities has made me taper that off. She's traveling withing a few hundred miles of me in a month or so, and I'm going to make an effort to meet her before she goes overseas. Still, I'm worried, because real life is so much different than the virtual world. People often idealize others, and then feel let down when they actually meet.

[Rebecca W.]

I agree with Shananigans above. The one statement you made would be one to cause her to throw the flag on the field. It sounds like the most important thing on your mind is your dressing and going out in public. Like the only reason you want a GG is to help you become fem. What about the relationship? What do you offer her? If I were a GG that could accept a CD in a relationship, but he made it clear that the most important part of my involvement was to further his dressing, I'd be throwing that flag on the field too. Most of us that are a CD would be happy to have a GG that simply accepts this as a part of who we are. But you make it out to be the most important reason to have a relationship with a GG. I would not be asking her to help me progress into a woman and go out in public. I'd be trying to build a relationship on everything but the CDing first, and see where she may want to take it.

Dear Brandy and Shananigans,
Yes, I went overboard on what I expected from someone that I have never even met. I was just excited to get a response back from a real woman. I will let it settle down for a day and send her an apology. I realy just want to have some fun dressing and shopping and just making a new friend that understands me. I really could care less about going out. Just a good case of the pink fog making my keyboard type crazy words! Emotion is a scary thing sometimes and it got the best of me this time. Hopefully I can repair the damage that I have done to her.
I always take the time to read all of the postings and you have all been very helpful in bringing me back to reality.

[Ms Mira]

I have a genetic woman best friend who I'm extremely close with. Honestly, bonding with her has been one of, if not the, best part of my explorations as Mira.

It really worked out as a situation because she doesn't have girl-friends that she really feels totally comfortable talking to about any subject. And she's the first person I've met that I can talk to totally openly about Mira. As a ridiculously awesome bonus, she helps me out with fashion and is verging on becoming a professional photographer (so I've had occasion to be her subject - check out my avatar pic)

However, before I had told her we'd been friends for a few years. So we cared about each other as people before then, and had a bond which has grown since. Trying to find some girl to be your friend ONLY due to your crossdressing is not going to be a successful basis for any relationship. Sure, it might work out that you have some natural chemistry, but it sounds like you're just looking for ANY genetic woman. And, if you're asking all that of her, you've got to bring something to the relationship yourself.

[Farrah]

Yes!!...The manager at Catherines. I first met her when i called in about a bra fitting. She politely fit me for a bra and we've been friends ever since!! Courtney!

[Tara D. Rose]

As strange as it sounds, I finally came 100% totally clean with every aspect of my CD life and world, not only with my sweet precious little faithful wife, but also to my ex wife!!!!. Oh my.!! My current and I had a small fight one day 2 months ago. I went to work the next morning, and my current called my ex whom we had not heard from in 2 and a half years, and spilled all the beans in a vengeful way. The ex wife knew something of it, but not to the extent or all of the truth, but they both had a field day slandering me all day while I was at work. I got home and had to answer to my current of all the lies my ex said about me. Well my current capitalised on all of the social stigmatisms by way of my crossdressing or crossdressing in general. It was a rough 4 days. So one night , I thought to myself, I will call my ex and fill her in an all of it, I thought if my current can call my ex, why cannot I? and so I did and I told my ex everything and what it really is and not what springer shows portrays us to be.
We even talked of my ex coming over one saturday night to see her ex husband in the true light of what I am. It's a very long story, and a very complicated world. I would just love for my current and my ex to have a girls night of fun here at our home and just turn on all the neon lights and juke box and just 3 girls dance half the night away.
But it will never happen.

[ronda]

Yes i have aGG friend that i talk with and she helps me with the fem things i did not learn as i grew up she has know about my cding for as long as i have known her she is very excepting and supportive she is the only person to call me by fem name and i can dress while she is with me and that feels great. I also talk to my sister she has only seen me dressed once she is not comfortabile seeing me dressed.

[AllieSF]

I have been looking for a true GG friend to talk and share serious topics and secrets with since I broke up with my last girlfriend, in other words, for years! Since I was having such bad luck, I decided that I just wanted to meet some GG's to be friends for whatever, conversation, arts, movies, hikes, whatever. Hopefully, many friends with different interests in and with each. All that with no strong desire to "hook" up with them in any way besides just being friends. That is actually much easier to say than to execute. However, over the years, yes, I am a slow learner, I have started reaching that goal in various manners. I have my morning coffee clatch ladies with whom we talk about everything and occasionally go out to a play or art performance. These only know my male side and may suspect something based on all my telltale signs and what I have revealed so far. Then, I have those that I meet while out on the town as Allie. Being total strangers, at least the first time we meet, we really do get into some deep, personal and sometimes intimate conversations about themselves and about me. It is always easier to tell the truth and intimate troublesome details to complete strangers than to someone we know. I wonder why? And finally, I have found that my wonderful electrologist has become my best friend for going out and sharing real life issues, thoughts and whatever as true friends. Again, no romantic intentions in any of these relationships. All I try to do is to be myself and act the same, except for what I may be wearing with a few of them. I really haven't got to the "help me look better, or help me better act the female role" stage yet. Actually, that is really not even on my list of wants or needs from a GG.

So, all that being said about myself, I recommend that you just be yourself, leaving the CDing as a side topic and let the conversation and developing friendship or relationship dictate how much you bring that up. That is actually the hardest part sometimes, especially when we really want to share and discuss who we are with the new and potential close friend. So, go slow, sow a lot of seeds in the sense of meeting new GG's with no agenda on your part over a long period of time, and then later if you have been true to yourself and them, the relationships will start to develop. Good luck.

Oh, I see no problem using Craigslist like you did. Just heed the precautions given by others here, be careful be secretive about personal information like real name, home phone numbers, addresses, etc. What you are asking for is not rare on Craigslist, not common either. You never know what may happen.

[Rachel87]

I do have a GG I told about it. We only talk about it occasionally, when mostly only when I bring it up. When I told her the first time, she was shocked. She didn't understand it, she told me later she read a lot about it in the internet and she is supportive. Which was very nice of her, although I feel she thinks this is something very weird. We can't really expect everyone to like it, but she clearly values our friendship more.

[Mythic]

I can tell my big sis all about it. Even today she offered to teach me about makeup sometime :D She's so awesome. She even had me help her shop for clothing and we discussed all the cute an not so cute stuff.

[Rebecca W.]

I have a genetic woman best friend who I'm extremely close with. Honestly, bonding with her has been one of, if not the, best part of my explorations as Mira.

It really worked out as a situation because she doesn't have girl-friends that she really feels totally comfortable talking to about any subject. And she's the first person I've met that I can talk to totally openly about Mira. As a ridiculously awesome bonus, she helps me out with fashion and is verging on becoming a professional photographer (so I've had occasion to be her subject - check out my avatar pic)

However, before I had told her we'd been friends for a few years. So we cared about each other as people before then, and had a bond which has grown since. Trying to find some girl to be your friend ONLY due to your crossdressing is not going to be a successful basis for any relationship. Sure, it might work out that you have some natural chemistry, but it sounds like you're just looking for ANY genetic woman. And, if you're asking all that of her, you've got to bring something to the relationship yourself.

Dear Mira,
It was a spur of the "pink fog" moment when i posted the ad for a friend. I have been taking all of the advice on here to heart. It was initially all about me, now that the "fog" has cleared I can put better thought into a real relationship, not one based on me getting what I want but rather a developing friendship that would be the basis for some possible girl time too. Thanks for setting my thoughts in the right direction and I am going to send my possible new friend a new email explaining my desire to develop a friendship, rather than just a person to enable me to be a woman. It was so selfish of me to say what I said. Please keep yuour comments coming as I really need to set my thoughts in the right direction.
We have such a wonderful support group on here and I cannot thank you all enough.

Hugs,

Rebecca:) XOOX

[Rebecca W.]

I do have a GG I told about it. We only talk about it occasionally, when mostly only when I bring it up. When I told her the first time, she was shocked. She didn't understand it, she told me later she read a lot about it in the internet and she is supportive. Which was very nice of her, although I feel she thinks this is something very weird. We can't really expect everyone to like it, but she clearly values our friendship more.

Rachel,

The bond of a true friendship will keep you two together. It is my hope to have a relationship with a friendship, first and foremost and a supportive friend to understand my desire to dress as a woman. Give her a big hug for me as she is one special friend to have and to hold on to.

Take care,

Rebecca Ox

[Stephanie47]

This thread really gets my curiosity going. I can understand a wife, a mother, a sister finding out about a man's cross dressing, and, accepting it. There is usually a history and acknowledgment the husband, son or brother is more than a cross dresser. There is love involved and a long history of interaction. But, an unrelated woman answering an ad? I also can understand meeting a person and slowly coming to realize who he may be en femm or en drab.

Did a woman answering such an ad have a history with a cross dresser, who passed away? Did she have a cross dressing husband or boy friend who was sensitive and affectionate? Unintentionally or unintentionally feminized a son, when she had hoped for a daughter? Is she doing a PH'd paper on cross dressers? Interesting?

[LaLaChic]

I have a wonderful GG friend. We were friends back in high school. Then we lost touch after graduation. Two years ago I found her on Facebook. Turns out we live just a few blocks from each other. We get together at least once a month for coffee. I confided in her last year that I'm a cross dresser. She has helped me with clothes and makeup. She has been an angel.

[Brittany CD]

Yep, I've got some great girls I can be open with about my crossdressing.

[Rebecca W.]

I have an update. No reply back as I must have overwhelmed her with everything that I had said. I was warned that would happen. Time to focus on meeting my local CD friends and to get out and do something with them.

Thanks again for all of the nice words of support and cautions on what I did. Like I said before, I read everything and I do follow your suggestions. My big mistake was not seeking the proper advice before I jumped into this. No harm done this time and I know what not to do.

I did make some new friends from this thread and that is priceless to me. So, I am very glad to have opened up on this thread and develop some new friendships from it. I am so happy to be on this forum.

Thanks everyone for your responses so far.:)

Hugs,

Rebecca

[brenne]

My daughter knows - it's taken her some time but sometimes she'll pick out which of her old bras or blouses I can use (and help me zip a dress back or something.) So we'll see ... :)

[PaulaAnn]

My sister and my lovely mother are my best friends,confidants and morale boosters.They have supported me from day one when I first came out . We share the same house and expenses ....for me it's a perfect arrangement .What's even better is that my niece has just finished getting her degree in physciology and she is going to take up practice in ..................yes you guessed it ...Transgender and related fields.My niece is very supportive of me as is her husband and children.How cool is that ?
Paula.

[brenne]

My sister and my lovely mother are my best friends,confidants and morale boosters.They have supported me from day one when I first came out . We share the same house and expenses ....for me it's a perfect arrangement .What's even better is that my niece has just finished getting her degree in physciology and she is going to take up practice in ..................yes you guessed it ...Transgender and related fields.My niece is very supportive of me as is her husband and children.How cool is that ?
Paula.
That is way kewl!! - BrendaB :)

[brenne]

I have an update. No reply back as I must have overwhelmed her with everything that I had said. I was warned that would happen. Time to focus on meeting my local CD friends and to get out and do something with them.

Thanks again for all of the nice words of support and cautions on what I did. Like I said before, I read everything and I do follow your suggestions. My big mistake was not seeking the proper advice before I jumped into this. No harm done this time and I know what not to do.

I did make some new friends from this thread and that is priceless to me. So, I am very glad to have opened up on this thread and develop some new friendships from it. I am so happy to be on this forum.

Thanks everyone for your responses so far.:)

Hugs,

Rebecca

Sounds like you're being careful, so that's good. - BrendaB

[brenne]

My daughter knows - it's taken her some time but sometimes she'll pick out which of her old bras or blouses I can use (and help me zip a dress back or something.) So we'll see ... :)
A couple of my partner's helpers also know - one I always model my "new" clothes for, and another's helping me go through a bunch of clothes that I was given :heehee: :cute::yahoo:

[Confetti]

Hi just wanted to say I posted an ad for a cross dresser(s) and the people were all very sweet, just wanted to be able to help them become pretty and happier, they appreciated me (virtually )at least. Asking a guy who did not cross dress was not successful ,wanting to hang out in a dress kinda ruined any chance of a relationship. It was the best of both worlds when it did work out they really appreciated dressing and at the same time had some grounded logic my fellow gg did not. Plus cross dressing brought us closer together even if there wasn't any hope of romance at least we could always talk about all things beautiful in dressing head to toe.

Finally want to say you dolls have interesting taste and a different eye can give new style to the mundane.
And visa versa.
I can't be one in a million who is thrilled about cross dressers.
Love to you all,

Confetti

[Annaliese2010]

Best wishes, Rebecca. Hope she works out for you. I have a GG friend who likes both me And my male self. In fact I think she somewhat prefers Me over my male self which is kinda cool since she's about 20 years younger than me.

We've hung out off & on for about 6 years, nothing too hot & heavy. But now that she's seen Me (Annaliese) on several brief occasions, she's been a lot more interested relaxed & open. In other words our friendship is enhanced & where it's gonna go from here is anyone's geuss. I'm not 'trying' or 'over reaching' for anything but I got a feeling we'll be on intimate terms before long.

IMO the best relationships just Happen spontaneously. When two ppl are compatible the chemistry just flows effortlessly. In the recent past I have wasted So much time trying to get through to this one chick it drove me to distraction! When feelings are so one-sided it's better to cut your losses than waste your time chasing after someone that's just not meant for you.

I wish you well, girl! :)