The male fantasy

[whowhatwhen]

Request: Squeeky clean

This has been discussed in various formats here a few times, but I'm not sure if it had it's own thread.
The male as a feminine accessory in a fantasy I mean.

What are your thoughts on it?

For me, it's a bit odd.
I exclusively fantasize about guys, but under most waking circumstances don't pay them too much interest.

That's why I'm interested in your experiences, thoughts, and how you feel in general.
I can't be the only one who has this issue so who knows, maybe your insight will help out a few people.

:)

[ReineD]

The male fantasy

I guess this is more directed at our bi/gay members, but what are your thoughts on it?

Are you sure you want to direct this to gay/bi members? It seems to me that gays and bisexuals don't have any issues with having sex with men. Wouldn't the idea of having sex with a man be more likely to remain fantasyland for someone who is straight?

[whowhatwhen]

Good point, questioned opened to everyone but I'm still more interested in what our gay and bi members think.

[KellyJameson]

The male and female form hold symbolic power not only because they are male or female but because of attributes usually associated with being male and female.

When you fantasize about a male is this image of a male that is 5 foot tall and ninety five lbs or someone larger and more powerful than yourself ?

Do you have an image of a face or is it the physique that you imagine?

Are you attracted to the possibility of being physically overpowered and dominated?

You call it an issue which leaves me thinking you are not comfortable with these
fantasies but wanting to be in the role of dominant or submissive is very much a part of the sexual experience because these energies like sex are part of the dualistic fabric of life.

The concern is only if you destroy or cause yourself to be destroyed by the energy (desire).

Fantasies or any other thought are not bad or good they just "are", it is the motive
blended with the expression that make them good (does no harm) or bad (brings harm) Understanding our fantasies helps us learn who we are and why.

Fantasies can be born from unhealthy experiences in childhood wanting to reenact
the past by going back in time to that place and experience by manipulating the present so if your fantasies cause you distress you may want to look into the past for clues.

Many associate being dominanted with feeling secure but this is an illusion because security comes only from your relationship with yourself and cannot be found in another.

My opinion may not be of value because sex for me is a meeting of two minds and not two bodies so I am not one thing or another.

[whowhatwhen]

It's not an issue though, I'm just curious as to the why it presents the way it does.

Oddly enough lately the man in my fantasies does have a face, but on the whole I'm not comfortable with the idea of being the dominant/active partner.

[rita63]

Dear Who, when I was younger there was no differentiation between gender and sexuality. Trans people were either gay or eccentric, weird uncle Harry who dresses up in womens cloths HA HA (does Aunt Jane know?). Christine Jorgenson was the first public SRS and it was a medical marvel. Her sexuality was not discussed and gays were just starting to come out, although there had been people who were known to be homos who led respectable lives and left the kids alone.
The examples of trans mentors for youth to follow were in "adult" content and not easily available.
Ok thats the preamble, now for my thoughts. I am not a bunch of seperate catagories, a " bi-sexual crossdresser who is a farther and likes sex with anyone he cares about deeply"
I am a whole person who tries to deal with others as I meet them in an honest and caring fashion.
I admire young people like you who can ask questions I never thought of and whose language did not exist in my culture.
I probably don't fantisize about a particular man or woman but rather about the sex act itself and the enjoyment and love involved.
Hope this overly verbose rant helps.

hugs rita

[Eryn]

I exclusively fantasize about guys, but under most waking circumstances don't pay them too much interest.

Hmm, by fantasize do you mean "dream" as in when you are asleep? The reason I ask is because you contrasted with "waking circumstances."

We often fantasize about that which we cannot be or obtain. One of mine is being a normal, accepted woman in ordinary life. It's a bit ironic that my fantasy is something so totally boring to a GG. I don't, however, dream about this (or about anything else) while asleep.

[whowhatwhen]

Both actually, they're common with an idle mind.
:)

I just found it interesting since I don't think of women sexually at all and wondered if this was common among TG people.
Honestly I was just curious as being stuck between gay/bi/straight and was looking for other's experiences in that area.

[ReineD]

Not a lot of people are responding, so I'll put in an observation.

I've read several times in the TS section, transwomen share their experiences of having felt in their prior male lives as if they were female-attracted. But then as time wore on they realized this had been more of a "kinship" with women of sorts. They wanted to be with women more as sisters or friends because they felt more comfortable with them than with men. But in time it became clear to them why they didn't feel any sexual passion with women; they weren't female-attracted after all. Once they gave themselves permission to be with men, they realized they were fully male-attracted and were then able to feel romantic passion.

PS. I'm just relating what I've read, for something to consider. Only you will know whether it fits or not.

[docrobbysherry]

I've mentioned this before, 3W. When I began dressing late in life, I thot I must be gay! I had fantasies of forced fem and having to have sex with men. Those thots were EXCITING back then! However, over time I found nothing appealing or attractive about the male physic. Those thots eventually disappeared. The excitement apparently came from the idea of becoming a female! And, doing what women do!

If u find males attractive, u may be gay, bi. If not, they may simply be part of a "fem fantasy"!