What IF you could "pass" easily?

[Wildaboutheels]

Make any difference? As far as leaving your house "dressed"? Or you were visiting a tiny village in a foreign country where the chances of running into someone you knew would be astronomically slim. Would you be willing to leave your hotel room "dressed"?

Or are the clothes, makeup, wig etc. just something you enjoy at home or alone and are perfectly happy that way? You simply have no need or desire to interact with others as a female?

Quite a few here say they could never pass but their pics don't indicate that.

[Sandra1746]

I regularly go out dressed in "plain Femme" and last Friday went out wearing a lovely floral print top that was very feminine. My wife was with me and we had a fun time. I posted an account here last week.

I don't "pass" in my own estimation but I do get treated with courtesy and that's fine. In my opinion, expecting to "pass" is much like going fishing and expecting to catch a lot of fish; if you don't you 'had a bad day'. If you expect to pass and are "read" you are setting yourself up for disappointment. If however you go out just looking your best but realizing you may not pass then any vestige of passing is a bonus to the day. When I am treated with courtesy or referred to in the feminine then it is just a "bonus" to an otherwise pleasant day out while dressed.

Just my philosophical view,
Sandra1746

[TGMarla]

I'll admit that if I passed more easily, I'd go out more often than I do. As for dressing at home, I do greatly enjoy that. Going out isn't something that I absolutely need to do all the time. I do like to get out and have some fun once in a while, but if I don't for long periods of time, I don't get too restless about it. It always involves more extensive shaving, like on my arms and my hands, and it's a pain in the rear to do it all the time.

[BRANDYJ]

Ok, you asked...Only if I could pass to the point that anyone seeing me "might" question my gender on very rare close up occasions. I do not like being laughed at, humiliated or otherwise made to feel unwelcome or uncomfortable. It's just not my thing. It's just not important enough for me to risk it. I realize some here don't care what others think. I get that and more power to them. I'm just not wired that way.

[Eryn]

Make any difference? As far as leaving your house "dressed"? Or you were visiting a tiny village in a foreign country where the chances of running into someone you knew would be astronomically slim. Would you be willing to leave your hotel room "dressed"?

Well I do often find myself in that situation. My "tiny village in a foreign country" is called "Los Angeles" and it is sufficiently large to pretty much guarantee anonymity.

When I first started to explore this part of myself I didn't think that I could go out, by virtue of being over six feet in height. I do stand out, but I can do a good enough job with clothes, wig, and makeup that most casual passersby probably think "That's a tall woman!" if they think anything at all.

Now that I am going out often I'm working on interactions. That requires a good voice and I'm not yet very good at that. Looking feminine is easy, acting feminine is more difficult because it involves several dynamics working at once, voice, gait, mannerisms, etc. It's something that I just have to work on and practice if I'm going to get it right. Most of the time I do OK, but every once in a while I get that "double take" that tells me that I did something wrong.

Oddly, being read doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would. Even if someone has strong suspicions there is still a doubt in their mind about their suspicions. It would be a really embarrassing situation for them to ask a masculine-looking GG if she was a man so that question is never asked.

I hope I answered the question you want answered!

Eryn

[Stephanie47]

If I could pass easily (five foot seven, size 10, small hands and feet, etc) I would definitely without any hesitation hit the bricks in a pretty dress and heels. I'm not just talking as if I wanted to be nineteen again. At my senior age and looking age appropriate, I'd be out there. You do not have to be drop dead young and gorgeous to have a nice feminine day out and about.

[Brittany CD]

If I could pass easily (including the voice), I would dress a lot more and always walk the streets as Katie except at night if I'm alone

[Kate Simmons]

"Passing" doesn't really concern me Hon. I could care less what the general public thinks. As long as I don't "fail" in my goals, I'm good.:battingeyelashes::)

[Abby74]

Very well put and that's how I was treated at Atlanta last weekend in the hotel! The whole yes Ma'am was a shock! The whole time I'm thinking my makeup is oily and has been on all day lol. They are just being nice lol,

[BobbieBrooks]

In order for me to pass easily, I find using my turnsignals helps. LOL But yes I would go out more than I do if I did.

BobbieB

[Miriam-J]

I think it's more about consequences than passing. I've demonstrated, much to my surprise, that I can pass in a daylight public environment (stores, restaurant, gas station) with some reasonable clothing, a good shave, and 20 minutes of makeup (in a car even). But the more important realization for me was that even if recognized no one could do anything to me - as long as I'm nowhere near work, neighbors, or friends. My wife helped me to realize this. Passing is just a bonus when it happens.

Miriam

[Launa]

If I could pass more easily, I would be going out a lot more often. I can't pass with my male structure. I've been told by lots of people that I make a pretty girl but even so you can tell alright....

[Bree-asaurus]

I don't know if I pass or not, but I'm beyond caring. I have to be myself and live my life. Getting a job though... ayee..... getting a job... getting a job...

I think if you dress to fit in, exude confidence and stop giving a **** what other people think, you can go out and be yourself too.

I'm transsexual, so... I don't really have a choice but to go out and be myself... but what I've noticed is that whether you're transsexual, transgender or cross dresser, we all worry WAY more than we need to. And the only way you will learn to stop worrying is to go out and be yourself.

[docrobbysherry]

To me, u could have just as easily asked me where I'd fly to if a grew wings, Wild! Growing wings and passing r BOTH things I can only imagine but will NEVER happen! I really have no idea what I'd do!

I only know in either case, my life would CHANGE dramatically!

[AllieSF]

I define passing as really looking like the opposite gender up close and not personal. If I passed totally based on that definition, I may do more things closer to home, if there was no way of being recognized as a female twin of my male self. That being said, I prefer to use the term "blending". To me that means at a distance I look like a woman, and up close I will probably get read. Since I go out frequently and interact with others very easily, I am not sure how much total passing would make a difference to me except if I was totally hot and beautiful in a womanly way. I would like that "passing" dream to be in natural body too with no squeezing nor padding, and with natural wonderful hair too. Wow, that is a big order! In my own opinion I blend very well, have decent feminine gestures and walk, and my voice is closer male than female, though at times I don't really know nor care. Not caring is the most important thing as others have said here. Once you get to that point it is a totally new game and the fun really begins, and I really have a lot of great fun.

[Cynthia Anne]

Just like Kate said! PASSING IS OVERRATED! I go out to please myself! I couldn't care a rats ---- what anyone thinks of me! Hugs!

[Barbara Ella]

My statement is still---Time Passes, Crossdressers Blend.

I have gone out 4 times, and interacted with SA's up close. I do not pass, and in those personal situations, I was not blending. I will think twice before doing it in my hometown again, now, after doing it and having the rush sink in. I would not take them back for anything, and was treated very well. Just the realization that I do not want the worst thing that could happen to happen in my home town, even though i do not think it ever would happen.

I will be going out again after some heavy work on walking, carriage, and voice, with makeup help from a makeover. Mine is still bad up close. Passing better would not make it any different. If people know, they know. If they react they react. If they say anything I can hear, I hit them with my baseball bat....OK, it is just a mental swing, but it always gets square on the crotch every time,

Barbara

[toriwilliams]

i am over 50 years old, i am more concern with being over 60+ and looking back at my life and i didn't do the things i enjoy because i was more concerned with not passing. dressing and going out trumps any concerns with not passing. if i pass or blend in, that is great. (one of the reasons i chose tori for my name is, it reminds me that each time i am out dressed that it is a VICTORY over the norms and expectations of our culture:) tori

[Cindy J Angel]

I go out when i can. and yes i do not think i pass. If i though i did then i do believe i would go out a lot more. Now that said. I have let my hair grow out. I have Lady's hair a lot of it and its wave. growing up all my girl Friend loved it and all the girls wanted it. but lately i have been mistaken for a lady from behind 3 times my wife has been with me. she is not to happy about that. But i do try to look like a woman eve if i do not dress as one. and just last week i was at lows and was using my military Id the gay asked is this your husbands id i turned to him and with a big smiled said no that would be me.

[NathalieX66]

My height & stature makes me fly under the radar in any circumstance. I'm 5' 6" . Most people don't pay attention to me. Nice advantage.
Still, I won't look like Jennifer Anniston.

[Wildaboutheels]

Isn't "passing" really easier than what we make it out to be? "Passing" as in nobody seems to notice. OR care? Or both. That seems to be the goal for many here. And unless you need to actually TALK to people like SAs or waiters, what are the chances that anyone is going to "make" you unless you are wearing something loud or gaudy? Or are tottering about on the "wrong" shoe or are perhaps very tall?

Most ladies here seem to dress to blend in. At least when they leave their house?

[Victoria P]

I've been told I pass quite easily,though as I age I have to wonder just a bit.
I was told years back that as soon as I apply eye makeup almost instantly I change quite dramatically in appearance.\My short stature at only 5ft 6 also helps and I try to stay as slim as I can,which gets harder as I age.I don't think I'll ever be huge but would love to be 125- 135 lbs again.

I haven't gone out for a bit due to being very busy moving house etc but I crave going out with some nice sisters,sadly I am finding it hard to once again establish a solid friendship on here to do just that go out 'en femme'.I am experienced in going out in public and would love to again and soon. I also do dress to blend into society as a woman,

[Sarahwithanh11]

I go out several times a month as Jessica, and I think I pass pretty well. Visually, anyway, as the voice needs work. I go to stores, dinner, movies, etc and if anyone reads me I seldom even notice. A few people have given me the double-take, but nobody's ever actually come up and asked me if I'm a guy or a girl.

Mainly I just try to blend in. I'm 6 feet and over 200 and middle-aged - so I dress in loose clothes and try to be age-appropriate and somewhat modest. It usually works pretty well, and if any situation seems uncomfortable I just move on and go somewhere else.

The ladies on this forum are so encouraging! Soon after I got on here I started going out as Jessica. The first few times were scary, but as my confidence grew it became easier and more fun.

[Cheryl T]

I go out regularly and anywhere I please. I may not "pass easily" as you say, but then I feel that a tremendous part of "passing" is confidence and I have that in myself.
If I was as "passable" as some of the ladies here I would probably want to live full time and then who knows, but that's not the case.
I love being me and letting the world see me after being in the closet for most of my life.

[Katie83]

As others have said blending is more important than passing. In theory blending should be quite easy. Dress your age and to current fashions and the situation. I'd like to think i could blend but i'm not sure.
I do know that if i was guaranteed to pass as Katie i'd be out all the time as a woman, assuming family and friends would't find out.
Katie

[Teri Ray]

First let me sat that I absolutely agree with Bobbie Brooks who chose to ensure her turn signal was on when passing (an remember you can't exceed the speed limit.)

But as for going out enfemme my thoughts wander to getting over passing and having the confidence to go out as Teri. I figure once one is confident that they can go anywhere as they please with higher probability that others will accept you as normal. Heck I have people give me stange looks just as my normal drab self (mmmm I wonder if that is an issue?)

[Rondawants]

I would love to dress, but I don't think I would pass! It's just my build. I really need to work on it! I would dearly love to dress and go out!!!!!!

[Mollyanne]

IF I COULD "PASS" EASILY I WOULD BECOME THE WOMAN THAT LIVES INSIDE ME 24/7!!!!!!!

Molly

[Sophie_C]

I'm with Molly on that. People really don't give a sh*t when you pass over virtually anything to do with transitioning if you truly "pass." My life would be SO much easier, and probably happier.

Now, mind you, what I call "pass" is not what most people here consider it to be. My bar is extremely high, not just having someone not bother you on the street. Even Andrej Pejic barely "passes" in my eyes. That requires even surgery for a lot of people, especially if you don't transition at age 12 and suppress all testosterone from ever running in your veins.

[~Joanne~]

If I passed easily, I would certainly be out and about at every chance I got. I do enjoy dressing at home as it is though :)

[deebra]

Absolutely, probially all the time, women are just so much more attractive than a man and the beautiful, sexy clothes they wear, imagine going out and looking and feeling that good!

[Beverley Sims]

I would go from 30 percent of the time to 60% at least.

[kimdl93]

I know I can't pass...its not humility, its simple reality. However, if the stars, the lighting and my own efforts are all properly aligned, I can blend in reasonably well. But, even when conditions are less than perfect, I'm very happy to get out in my own neighborhood, shop at the local stores and enjoy coffee at the local Starbucks. I do care how I look...its not that I don't. But I don't feel uncomfortable with people knowing that I'm a transgendered person. And it seems that most people recognize that and are quite understanding - perhaps sympathetic to that poor fool walking around dressed like a woman.

But to answer the question...if I could pass, then I'd probably live pretty much as I do now. I'm probably 70% full time and out to the neighborhood, so maybe I'd go 100%

[Kaz]

If I could pass easily I would be out there pretty much every day! I wish! :daydreaming:

[kristinacd55]

I really don't think it would make much difference, it's really about how you feel about yourself not so much the way you look...to a point!

[Alice Torn]

I would be a quarterback, hockey player, or basketball player! Really, I would go out in public often. As it is, I am passable only about 50 yards away. So, i seldom go out.

[calliekat]

I could not pass. Even with the drunkest of beer goggles.

[Janet Bern]

I try hard to blend. I think I do even though I am 6'3 and up in years.
I wear flats and and try not to look obvious. The weird thing is that
when I shop most woman wear pants. No fun in pants. So I may
not blend as much as I think, lol.

[TeresaL]

Currently it wouldn't make any difference. I'm retired and no longer go out of state on business trips. Those two week trips were the times that I used to mingle with the crowd, downtown, and at the malls. Never did anyone pay attention, and I would check by watching their reflection in windows and other shiny surfaces. IMO, I was passing, and while not a knock out, still looked better than the average mall walking female.

Sadly, those days are gone. Cycle to today, and I've started fresh from a several years long purge. This time it's different, and I'm much more conservative. No Premarin or Sandrena, Spiro, and progesterone. My ticker is too messed up and my SO doesnt need the extra burden. Neither does she need to be saddled with Teresa venturing out and getting busted by someone she knows -- even if I passed perfectly. Well maybe. EDIT: But only with my SO's help. Stay at home is ok.

[savannaxdrsser]

Currently i am in no way passable, but i often think that if i was all the simple things i would do like shopping, going out to dinner and just enjoy more being dressed. I know i would dress a lot more and pay much more attention to the way i look.

[Debra Russell]

I go out often and with no life threatening consequences - so as far as I am concerned , I pass, if I have to talk I do it softly (dosen't work) Oh well It's me and I am fine with that................Debra

[suchacutie]

For me it's not about others, it's about Tina being comfortable about who she is. The pics don't tell but a small percentage of the story. There is a mindset to being feminine and that does include voice, language, and body movement/usage (deportment).

When all of that clicks, Tina gets into her groove, and blending (vs. passing) becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy!

[kellycan27]

Just like Kate said! PASSING IS OVERRATED! I go out to please myself! I couldn't care a rats ---- what anyone thinks of me! Hugs!

Really? I don't think that I have heard anyone who "can" pass say that it's overrated.

[Eve II]

OMG - YES after I moved! I would be in femme most of the time and when I dressed in drab I would dress as a girl in mens clothes always with tight shirts displaying my "girls".

[Mythic]

I become quiite passable. Except for this adams apple.

[Erin McShea]

I know I can not pass. Not with out a lot of time and work( of which I have neither) right now. So, being dressed around the house with the wife is just fine.
But if I could pass,Me and the misses would be going out and having a great time! She is the only one that I think I would have fun OUT with. Without her by my side and alone I don't think I would.

Erin

[Voulez-Vous]

Really? I don't think that I have heard anyone who "can" pass say that it's overrated.

that's because it's not overrated. passing is the goal. passing is everything. the ones who say that have absolutely zero chance of passing.

[Foxglove]

It always involves more extensive shaving, like on my arms and my hands, and it's a pain in the rear to do it all the time.

Marla, how do you get a pain in your rear when you shave your arms and hands? Sounds like there's a problem with your wiring somewhere. You might want to see a doctor about that.


I think it's more about consequences than passing.
Miriam

I'd go along with Miriam here. It's the consequences that a lot of people consider. As for me, if I were far from home, I'd be out and wouldn't be overly worried about passability. But in my hometown, no matter how passable I might be, people would soon put two and two together, and I'm not at all sure what would come of that.

Annabelle

[Cynthia Anne]

that's because it's not overrated. passing is the goal. passing is everything. the ones who say that have absolutely zero chance of passing.
That's quite interesting! I quess zero equals more then me thunk! I usually pass when I'm fully dressed! But some times I run to town without a wig nor makeup, but always carry my purse and wear lipstick and nail polish! Never had a problem doing so! Hugs!

[JamieG]

I think two things prevent me from going out more: 1) fear of being recognized and 2) fear of being harmed. Honestly, I wouldn't mind being read if the worst that came of it was someone laughing. I was teased quite a bit as a kid, so I can take it. However, I do not want to deal with the consequences of someone who I don't trust knowing my secret, and I also know that there are "people" out there who will hurt us for no better reason than we exist. If someone could guarantee that I would not be recognized nor harmed, I would be go out in public more. Of course, then there's the third thing: right now, going out takes me away from my family, so any going out would still have to be fit in around our family schedule.

[sometimes_miss]

Make any difference? <snip>
Quite a few here say they could never pass but their pics don't indicate that.
If I could pass as a pretty young lady, sure I'd go out. Sadly that only exists in my dreams.
Pics are static examples that show us in the best possible way. They rarely show the obvious give-aways such as behavior and body language differences, physical parts problems like giant feet and hands compared to a woman of the same size, etc.. Wigs that are obvious to everyone IRL are often indistinguishable in pictures. In the automotive world, we have what we call a 10 foot paint job, a 20 foot paint job, etc. meaning it looks perfect at that distance. Most pictures here reflect that concept, after all, nearly all of us can 'pass' at about 100 yards in our prettiest outfits, even me.

[Chickhe]

I think the main reason is the effort required to get ready and then the stealth that's required to bypass the neighbors... otherwise, I have no fear of going out. I've only really passed on a couple occassions and that was a mind blowing experience. Otherwise, I think I look good from far and up close people can tell, but even so, most of the time they are friendly. For the other times, if someone has the doubting Thomas look on their face I just smile and ignore them. The main reason I did it was to answer the question, 'could I'... I could, and I did and I feel like I could do anmost anything now!

[Tina B.]

If I could pass "every time", sure I wold go out, but then who would know but me. In a strange place I might go out, but I doubt it, there is more to feeling safe than just meeting people you know.
I'm happy to dress at home, and don't really have any pressing need to get out. At my age I don't do the clubs anymore, we don't really have many things to do around here anyway, and none of them are on my bucket list of things not to be missed. I enjoy shopping, and am comfortable doing in so in drab, so since I don't believe I could ever pass every time) no matter how hard I tried, I'll just keep on keeping on as is.
Tina B.

[donnatracey]

If I could pass of course I'd go out....duh......:D

[Tracii G]

I have been pleasantly surprised a few times when someone opens the door or says good morning ma'am how are you today?
Had a police man hold the door for me at Macy's one time I was quite a ways behind him too and he waited on me to catch up.
Said thank you Sir and he smiled and told me to have a nice day.
I'm sure once I got close he clocked me but he never let on like he did.
Passing is important to me but in the end I'm sure I don't pass very often.

[Emilee]

Absolutely I would go out. If I could pass easily I would be so much happier. Although I would have to make all new friends. Everyone I know would disown me if they knew the real me.

[Kelli Ca]

If I looked more passable i would go out all the time , its just tyo much to dfeal with s0o for now I am home bound

[marybeth_1967]

Sometimes, in order to pass, you have to dial down your clothing and make up which can force you into a second choice outfit situation. Takes some of the fun out of going out.

[lori m crawford]

i have ben dressing for over 40yrs an from i see this day an age what is passing women dont wear nothing no more like thay did a lot of yrs a go an less you can be 17teen what girls wear this day just look a at women other than a bra we are the same dressed jenns an a t shirt o tenny shoes so what is passing

[lowxr]

I'm going to test your theory as I have to travel to S Florida in July and intend to try to go out for the first time as I will be far from home !!! Maybe the 50 yard passable LOL.

[VanIsle]

I could pass at a blind convention lol (and I don't mean the window sort)

[Vieja]

I would sing and dance and spend more time out than at home.


Vieja

[Sharon B.]

If it was for my height 6'-5" and deep voice I would go out more often other than just for drives.

[Sophia Claire]

Make any difference? As far as leaving your house "dressed"? Or you were visiting a tiny village in a foreign country where the chances of running into someone you knew would be astronomically slim. Would you be willing to leave your hotel room "dressed"?

Or are the clothes, makeup, wig etc. just something you enjoy at home or alone and are perfectly happy that way? You simply have no need or desire to interact with others as a female?

Quite a few here say they could never pass but their pics don't indicate that.

For me, passing is kind of the goal. I just bought my first wig today, and recently had my first couple of makeup fiascoes, so hopefully I'm getting close.