Paula_56
06-18-2012, 07:32 PM
The Frequent Flier
I’ve been up since 4:00AM, an early flight, I tell everyone it’s so I can get there in time to prepare for my meetings the next day. If they knew the truth they would be surprised, or perhaps shocked would be a better word. The airport has energy, a vibe, a current of movement and change. People are in a state of flux, business deals, money made and lost, love found, divorces, farewells, reunions, new babies and trips home for a funeral, a river of life. I watch them, businessmen and women, grandparents on a visit, tourists, college students, and the visitor whose brief return is over. But I mostly focus on the women, in them I see myself. You see that’s my secret. How I envy them and long to be a member of their sorority. The anticipation in me grows, soon I think I’ll join them, I will shed this facade of masculinity that I have been forced to wear. I’ll leave this city, this life, and role behind. I sigh and close my eyes trying to sleep as the plane lifts off. It will be a busy day, I’ll need my rest.
The baggage claim, the rental car bus, the ride to the hotel, it’s a different city, but the same routine. I smile and exchange pleasantries with the hotel clerk. “Welcome” she chimes, “Are you in town for business or pleasure?” she asks. I hesitate slightly before responding, “Actually both, I have a meeting tomorrow but today I’m meeting one of my sisters for and lunch and shopping.” I laugh to myself, If she only knew what I meant by “sister”.
The hotel, is quiet and empty, everyone is out and about. As I ride the elevator up my enthusiasm and expectation grows. I push the huge suitcase down the hall the wheels sticking on the carpet. Finally we arrive at the door I insert the card it, clicks and we are in. I toss the suitcase up onto the bed. It opens, and out from underneath the slacks and BVD’s I pull a black bag, I lay it across the bed and unzip it.
It’s good to see them again, my purse, and the pink makeup case, a pair of pumps, several skirts, tops, bras, panties, pantyhose and jewelry. A sales receipt spills out from my last trip. It’s from Nordstrom’s. Oh yes, I remember now it’s from the MAC counter. I had bought new foundation, the sales associate her name was Lisa, was so friendly and helpful. “Thank you Lisa” I say to myself. I read the date it was over a month ago. That’s too long much too long.
I let the warm water of the shower melt away any uncertainty. That part of me from that now distant city protests “Why are you doing this? You’re foolish! You’re a man, a husband, a father!” But I don’t listen to that voice anymore, I know better now. The feminine scent of the shaving cream and the unveiled smoothness of my legs calm me. I feel her take hold inside me.
I dry myself off, then spray on some perfume, I breath the aroma in, the scent is satisfying, almost like a drug, I feel it trigger certain parts of my brain, as if they were dormant but now are called to life they burst forward igniting senses and desires no longer forced hidden. I become a little hurried now, as I put on my foundation garments, a female silhouette takes shape in the mirror, the padding and forms do their job. I feel a slight disappointment that I need them at all. My eyes go to juncture of my thighs, the curvature of my lower abdomen, it looks so female. Maybe I think someday… it will be.
I sit down and start my makeup. I‘ve become practiced better than most women, the foundations goes on with a MAC brush. Oh yes I think, I have all the tools. Then I apply powder. I brush it off softly creating an even matte finish, next I contour, then I highlight. Slowly I trace the brows their arch brings another hint of femininity to my face. This time they came out perfect, I’m pleased. The eyes are important I take my time getting them just right, the shadow, the liner and finally the mascara. The lips are next I trace a cupid’s bow with the lip liner bringing my upper lip closer to my nose, an important feminine feature. I finish with two shades of lipstick, my lips take on a fullness and depth. Some blush, and then a touch up and I’m done.
Not bad, I think, but there’s still more. I clip on my earrings, a gold bracelet, a watch, a diamond engagement ring, and on the other hand a birth stone. Today I’ll be wearing a skirt with a red jacket. I step into the skirt, pull it up and then zip it. It fits nicely I smooth it running my hands over the curves on my hips. Then I slip a dark blouse over my head I pull the buttons close over my bust, yes my “bust” I muse, I like the way they look. Next I put on my jacket.
Finally the icing must go on the cake, I lightly place the wig on my head, “boys have short hair girls have long hair” I mouth these words softly. I step toward the mirror there she is “Paula”, a huge smile flashes across my face, a giddiness takes over, a sense of relief. I primp in the mirror then pack my purse, credit cards, license, cash, and room key. I primp in the mirror again. My nails! I forgot my nails, it takes a few minutes but they’re pretty, a press on French Manicure just the right feminine detail.
I check my purse again. I’m nervous, there’s a bit of trepidation as I stand in front of the door. Faintly I hear his voice pulling me back. “NO!” I shout. I look in the mirror, she smiles at me. You can do this. I’m out the door, there is a sense of wonder I’m doing it. I ride down in the elevator, the doors open and I’m in the lobby, I walk over and grab a bottle of water from the market. I ask the clerk softly, “Can you put this on room 314?” “Sure” she smiles, “Anything else Ma’am?” Ma’am I say to myself, yes she said Ma’am my heart sores.
I’m out the door and the cadence of heels on the pavement announces a woman is here. I’ve escape, if only for the day but I’m free and I’m flying![/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE]
I’ve been up since 4:00AM, an early flight, I tell everyone it’s so I can get there in time to prepare for my meetings the next day. If they knew the truth they would be surprised, or perhaps shocked would be a better word. The airport has energy, a vibe, a current of movement and change. People are in a state of flux, business deals, money made and lost, love found, divorces, farewells, reunions, new babies and trips home for a funeral, a river of life. I watch them, businessmen and women, grandparents on a visit, tourists, college students, and the visitor whose brief return is over. But I mostly focus on the women, in them I see myself. You see that’s my secret. How I envy them and long to be a member of their sorority. The anticipation in me grows, soon I think I’ll join them, I will shed this facade of masculinity that I have been forced to wear. I’ll leave this city, this life, and role behind. I sigh and close my eyes trying to sleep as the plane lifts off. It will be a busy day, I’ll need my rest.
The baggage claim, the rental car bus, the ride to the hotel, it’s a different city, but the same routine. I smile and exchange pleasantries with the hotel clerk. “Welcome” she chimes, “Are you in town for business or pleasure?” she asks. I hesitate slightly before responding, “Actually both, I have a meeting tomorrow but today I’m meeting one of my sisters for and lunch and shopping.” I laugh to myself, If she only knew what I meant by “sister”.
The hotel, is quiet and empty, everyone is out and about. As I ride the elevator up my enthusiasm and expectation grows. I push the huge suitcase down the hall the wheels sticking on the carpet. Finally we arrive at the door I insert the card it, clicks and we are in. I toss the suitcase up onto the bed. It opens, and out from underneath the slacks and BVD’s I pull a black bag, I lay it across the bed and unzip it.
It’s good to see them again, my purse, and the pink makeup case, a pair of pumps, several skirts, tops, bras, panties, pantyhose and jewelry. A sales receipt spills out from my last trip. It’s from Nordstrom’s. Oh yes, I remember now it’s from the MAC counter. I had bought new foundation, the sales associate her name was Lisa, was so friendly and helpful. “Thank you Lisa” I say to myself. I read the date it was over a month ago. That’s too long much too long.
I let the warm water of the shower melt away any uncertainty. That part of me from that now distant city protests “Why are you doing this? You’re foolish! You’re a man, a husband, a father!” But I don’t listen to that voice anymore, I know better now. The feminine scent of the shaving cream and the unveiled smoothness of my legs calm me. I feel her take hold inside me.
I dry myself off, then spray on some perfume, I breath the aroma in, the scent is satisfying, almost like a drug, I feel it trigger certain parts of my brain, as if they were dormant but now are called to life they burst forward igniting senses and desires no longer forced hidden. I become a little hurried now, as I put on my foundation garments, a female silhouette takes shape in the mirror, the padding and forms do their job. I feel a slight disappointment that I need them at all. My eyes go to juncture of my thighs, the curvature of my lower abdomen, it looks so female. Maybe I think someday… it will be.
I sit down and start my makeup. I‘ve become practiced better than most women, the foundations goes on with a MAC brush. Oh yes I think, I have all the tools. Then I apply powder. I brush it off softly creating an even matte finish, next I contour, then I highlight. Slowly I trace the brows their arch brings another hint of femininity to my face. This time they came out perfect, I’m pleased. The eyes are important I take my time getting them just right, the shadow, the liner and finally the mascara. The lips are next I trace a cupid’s bow with the lip liner bringing my upper lip closer to my nose, an important feminine feature. I finish with two shades of lipstick, my lips take on a fullness and depth. Some blush, and then a touch up and I’m done.
Not bad, I think, but there’s still more. I clip on my earrings, a gold bracelet, a watch, a diamond engagement ring, and on the other hand a birth stone. Today I’ll be wearing a skirt with a red jacket. I step into the skirt, pull it up and then zip it. It fits nicely I smooth it running my hands over the curves on my hips. Then I slip a dark blouse over my head I pull the buttons close over my bust, yes my “bust” I muse, I like the way they look. Next I put on my jacket.
Finally the icing must go on the cake, I lightly place the wig on my head, “boys have short hair girls have long hair” I mouth these words softly. I step toward the mirror there she is “Paula”, a huge smile flashes across my face, a giddiness takes over, a sense of relief. I primp in the mirror then pack my purse, credit cards, license, cash, and room key. I primp in the mirror again. My nails! I forgot my nails, it takes a few minutes but they’re pretty, a press on French Manicure just the right feminine detail.
I check my purse again. I’m nervous, there’s a bit of trepidation as I stand in front of the door. Faintly I hear his voice pulling me back. “NO!” I shout. I look in the mirror, she smiles at me. You can do this. I’m out the door, there is a sense of wonder I’m doing it. I ride down in the elevator, the doors open and I’m in the lobby, I walk over and grab a bottle of water from the market. I ask the clerk softly, “Can you put this on room 314?” “Sure” she smiles, “Anything else Ma’am?” Ma’am I say to myself, yes she said Ma’am my heart sores.
I’m out the door and the cadence of heels on the pavement announces a woman is here. I’ve escape, if only for the day but I’m free and I’m flying![/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE]