Going out as a Crossdresser

[sammysaenz]

Hi Ladies,

I have been having this urge to out as my Female self and just hang out with some other crossdressers. Maybe hear some stories and just have a good time. I have heard of some get togethers in L.A. on certain nights, they are special for ladies like us. Has anyone ever been to these events or special nights? I am very tempted to go with my wife and have a good time but...... want to make sure I do it right and not have some one ruin the experience for me. I would love to hear from all of you.

Thanks,
Sammy

[NathalieX66]

If you are new at it , find a group.
Jamie's T-Girl Nights does something in Long Beach . There are others.
Find your speed , and go.

[jsunic_1978]

Just get out there. Go shopping. Keep it in an all female store like dots. I go out most weekends now i go to thrift stores and pay less shoes a ,lot. go out during the day with a friend. I go out quite often alone on a Sunday afternoon just shopping and I never had a problem. I do not make eye contact with anyone. Most people really don't even pay attention nor notice. first time out, go to a rainbow bar with drag shows and talk with s few people. Remember, we are all still human to. We have rights. I am hereto sexual. If some of us are gay, that could be a problem hitting on a guy at a club. If there are some gay CDs, go to the gay clubs and just talk shopping, see where the conversation steer's. Best wishes and best of luck to you :)

[marybeth_1967]

Do something easy at first, like a movie or a glbt club. Don't assume your first adventure will be like you next. Everyone is different-- hence the term adventure.

[Marleena]

Don't do it!:devil:

It's totally addictive.:)

[kimdl93]

I can't speak for LA but I can tell you that getting out and interacting itch people has been a life changing and entirely positive experience for me. I've been to a number of TG friendly clubs, as well as many public places and settings. I've enjoyed it all immensely. The addictive part that Marleena alludes to is the affirming aspect of presenting your female self and being accepted by others. It's a priceless experience.

[Sandra1746]

Getting out in public is fun and also reaffirms your Fem-persona. Choose "friendly" venues like coffee shops or just malls. Learning to interact with the people you normally meet in such venues will raise your comfort level and the chance of a negative encounter is small.

I'll disagree with the eye-contact rule, smile a lot and be friendly to the clerks and SAs. If you are friendly chances are good you will be treated fine.

Good luck,
Sandra1746

[VickysBFF]

Hi Sammy from another SoCal gal! I would agree with jsunic; just go out shopping, to dinner, to a movie, etc. My SO and I have gone out all over CA from SF to SD and lots of times and places in the L.A. area and have not encountered any problems or issues.
I don't have a lot of experience with any specific groups in L.A.. We did once go to a TG-specific event in SoCal and it was o.k. but more of a younger-skewing crowd and more skewed towards dating/mixing/mingling etc. Nothing wrong with any of that, of course, but for your first time out I imagine that you might want something quieter and low-key.

[joanna4]

I had the urge an eventually went out. I started with walks around shopping centers. Then I would eventually have the courage to just walk in and shop. The SA and cashiers treated me like the way I wanted to be treated:)

[Janet Bern]

I would suggest walking through a Dept store the first time
You may be self conscious but that will eventually pass
I was amazed at how many people never looked twice at me

[Lynn Marie]

Lots of CD's have learned to do things alone. Seems to be a natural transition from hiding in the closet alone. I'm quite gregarious myself and love people and storytellers in particular. I'm fine alone, but I have so much more fun with a friend or in a group. Here in the Pacific NW we have a group in Seattle called Emerald City that seems to do things on Thursday nights, another group in Tacoma, the Cornbury Society in BC, and a group of us with no name in Everett WA that I hang out with. We go out every Friday night clubbing and dancing and flirting, etc. On occasion we've gone out to dinner together, and we've had a few parties at each other's homes where possible. I feel very fortunate to have a fallen in with a great crowd of girlfriends. We number anywhere from 3 or 4 to as many as 12 or more. Just depends on who's in town and who can get out. Friday night is our "girls night out" and some of us are always there. It lends a sense of permanency to our group. Everybody knows where we'll be on Fridays.

I was contacted by another CD in the area right here on CD.com and invited to the group. This girl actually stopped by my apartment and off we went together. We've done this many times since and remain fast friends. I'm not the only closet dweller that she has helped to pry open that closet door and release us from our self-imposed bonds. For that, I love her dearly.

[tall sam]

I have no idea about LA but my first time out was with a partially organised group in Toronto. I was passing through on international business. One advantage was that no-one knew me so any of those concerns were put aside. Being very tall means that I dont pass to easily (or at all??), but the support from the local "girls" was great and they knew where to party the night away. It was fun but I somehow didnt really get the kick out of it which I was expecting.
My second outing was in Paris and this time me SO was with me. It was a bit of a mad last minute inspiriation that I asked her if we could go out one night there with me dressed. I was shocked and ecstatic when she said yes. I was thinking of getting dressed at the club we were going to (a semi private Trans club - small but friendly) or at least sneak out the back door of the hotel to catch the cab, but my SO just looked at me like "why?? whats your problem??". So, after lots of champaign and girly fun, I was all dolled up and the two of us just walked straight out into reception, asked them to call a cab, and off into the night we went. (got some strange looks though). It was a blast and we had a great time, so-much-so that two nights later on the sunday she suggested we do it again but this time hit one of the mroe mainstreet clubs, the one that I found was having a Transgender theme night (every sunday) - do some research beforehand - it helps. Anyway, a very different night from the previous outing, but we rocked and partied, dirty danced with soem guys and teased away - just mad things we both wouldnt do normally.
So now I am giving it a break for a while but I am sure in a few months if I suggest something similar again, my SO will be keen to break out from reality again.
Well, off of the talk, but a few things learnt:
- just go for it and dont bother too much about the rest of them.
- do a bit of planning before hand with options.
- head out later at night rather than early - the club we first found we checked out beforehand (dressed normally) so we were sure it was open and the right scene.
- some other city makes it easier if you concerned about being recognised.
Dont drink to much!! (its also not so easy going for a pee too often when you tucked and taped)

Just have fun!
Sammy