jerca
06-19-2012, 03:52 PM
Another thread (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?175760-Transition-Marriage-and-Children&p=2871875&highlight=#post2871875) bumped me from my read-only mode after a long while and reading replys there I guess it is indeed time to write an update - but i am not writer type and english is not the language i would regulary express in it, so it takes a while:o
I left my story before my first visit to therapist. On my first appointment I explained her my feelings, she explained the procedure, asked questions... We had several sessions in about a year, my wife has joined me on 2 or 3 of them. We were also talking about other (less radical) possibilites than full transition, but my wife explained the she can't imagine living in a relationship like that. From my point of view she is very pesimistic. On top of all that, this financial crisis broke out and my (small) business went down and I had to find a new job. We had one or two realy "cold" periods during that time, but we did both our best to mend our relationship.
So, at one point I had to decide what directin to take. Transition would lead to divorce, financial problems for both of us, children... I don't think I could calmly live my life knowing that this is bacause of my choice. My parents divorced while I was in early 20s and that sucked, but they had problems during all my teen years. That's something I can't say for our marriage, I'd say we go along better than average, we do our best with raising children, we talk about problems, we make plans... She just totaly does not understand my problems regarding my gender identity.
Decision not to do anything about my transition (or should I say not to explore my gender identity) was not easy either. By that time I was certain about my identity, I knew it will not "just fade away", as she hoped. But neither did change her rejection, as I had hoped.
And that's where we are now. I have days when I feel cheated (with no cheater at hand to blame) but I also have days when the world does not seem so grim.
The hope is the last one to die. :thumbsup:
LP, Jerca
I left my story before my first visit to therapist. On my first appointment I explained her my feelings, she explained the procedure, asked questions... We had several sessions in about a year, my wife has joined me on 2 or 3 of them. We were also talking about other (less radical) possibilites than full transition, but my wife explained the she can't imagine living in a relationship like that. From my point of view she is very pesimistic. On top of all that, this financial crisis broke out and my (small) business went down and I had to find a new job. We had one or two realy "cold" periods during that time, but we did both our best to mend our relationship.
So, at one point I had to decide what directin to take. Transition would lead to divorce, financial problems for both of us, children... I don't think I could calmly live my life knowing that this is bacause of my choice. My parents divorced while I was in early 20s and that sucked, but they had problems during all my teen years. That's something I can't say for our marriage, I'd say we go along better than average, we do our best with raising children, we talk about problems, we make plans... She just totaly does not understand my problems regarding my gender identity.
Decision not to do anything about my transition (or should I say not to explore my gender identity) was not easy either. By that time I was certain about my identity, I knew it will not "just fade away", as she hoped. But neither did change her rejection, as I had hoped.
And that's where we are now. I have days when I feel cheated (with no cheater at hand to blame) but I also have days when the world does not seem so grim.
The hope is the last one to die. :thumbsup:
LP, Jerca