I TOLD and was SHOCKED - I love this woman!

[justcurious]

Well, I spent all night last night writing out what I needed to say to my W. When I started writing I just couldn't stop. So, I left work early so that I could be home before she came home. I stopped on the way and picked up her favorite flowers and made her a home made dinner.. well as best as I could! I'm not a chef but I gave it my best shot and it came out better then I thought it would.

When she got home from work she walked into the kitchen and saw the table set, flowers, candles and me with food in hand. I looked at her and told her I love you. She smiled her cute little smile and said "I know". :love:

We sat down to eat and she noticed I wasn't eating and I pulled out my letter. I wasn't going to read it I just wanted to have it in case I forgot anything. She said, SO YOUR READY TO TELL ME?

SHE HAS KNOWN FOR A WHILE NOW! She looked at me and touched my arm and said "I have known for a while now and was beginning to worry that you would never open up to me".

She has asked that I give her time to learn about this. She is actually standing next to me as I type this and is telling me what she is comfortable for me to write. I understand how she does not want see this just yet. She still looks at me as her husband and we have decided to go into counseling together so that we can work on making our marriage stronger. I am so thankful I came clean.

She has told me that since I have not tried to manipulate the situation and came clean with her, she cannot judge me for what I have been doing because she has already been researching this and understands it is not something I can stop. She knows she has more to learn but is willing to work on this together.

I love this lady of mine :love:

[BobbieBrooks]

Will tell my story someday, but it somewhat mirrors yours. Everything was doing well ,then the wife broke down one night when we were out walking. She stated that she had lost the man she married. We had a loooooong talk and worked things out. I am still her man but she now has a best girl friend too! Talk and talk and talk some more as that is the best counseling that can be done. Understanding each others feelings by talking TO each other always works. Best wishes to you both as new doors are opened.


BobbieB

[Persephone]

Congratulations! Her acceptance has got to be the best gift in the world!

Enjoy! Take it slow and give her an extra hug and kiss!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Janelle_C]

That so wonderful I'm so glad that your wife is open minded and loves you that much. I'm glad for the both of you. Janelle

[Cynthia Anne]

I guess some times when it sounds too good to be true, it's true anyhow! Give her a hug for all of us! Best wishes to you both! Hugs!

[Barbara Ella]

Congrats, and again, give your lovely wife a big hug from me. Both of you take it slow. expect emotions to go up and down, just keep talking openly and honestly. You both are past the roughest part for you. i hope eventually your wife will join and contribute also.

Hugs, Barbara

[Rachel87]

Wow, that is amazing! I'm so happy for you. You hat to love that woman with all your heart!

[Marcia Blue]

I am so glad you have opened up to your wife. I am even happier for you, to find out she is OK with CDing.

I do have two pieces of advice, baby steps and watch out for the "Pink Fog".

[audreyinalbany]

...go slow....let her set the pace

[Marleena]

We love happy stories like this! Thanks for sharing.:)

[sissystephanie]

I told my late wife before we married, and she totally accepted me "as is! " We had almost 50 year together before cancer took her. BTW, any CD on here can stop if you really want to. I did stop completely for a 5 year period during our marriage and only started up again because my wife begged me to!! She missed Stephanie in her life!!

All the advice you have recieved is good! Just remember, your wife married a MAN so be one!!

[Teri Ray]

You are a lucky person. Yur wife seems to be someone who really loves you. Don't loose track of that. As others have said, Take it slow and don't push for more than she is willing to accept. Best wishes

[Laura912]

The title of your post says it all. It is refreshing to see a good outcome. You both are lucky, special people.

[Claire Cook]

Yes, it's wonderful to read stories like this. Sometimes spouses / SO's realize that there is more to a relationship than dressing, and that the whole package is greater than the sum of its parts - or at least some of its parts. (It's such a pity that more wives / SO's don't appreciate this.) It's taken my wife more than 40 years to get to where she is now -- for the first time, she is suggesting things that the girls ought to do together (usually I do that). So -- like others have said -- do take it slow, and let her proceed at her pace. I think you'll find that adjustments are needed on both sides -- but isn't that what marriage is about?

Treasure that girl!

[Jennifer W]

What a wonderful, lovely story! Good luck!

[DebbieL]

Bravo! I love the way you chose to break it to her too. You didn't just drop the bomb, you made a meal, bought her flowers, and did things that you knew she wanted you to do. You made it a romantic evening while at the same time making it a safe place for you to share your most intimate secrets, and for her to safely react and let you know that she knew and was waiting for you to tell her. Clearly she loves you and wants to know how to make this work so that both of you can really enjoy your life together.

Good for you for being honest. The irony is that at least by being honest you have eliminated some of her greatest fears. She knows you want to be with her, to love her, and to continue to be her husband. She knows you aren't having an affair with another woman, or another man, and she knows you aren't gay.

If you have access to Kindle or Kindle software, there are a number of excellent fiction and non-fiction works that will help her to understand the feelings we experience in dressing and being feminine, as well as the various stages and degrees of transgender behavior. It might also help for you to share, in writing, your FEELINGS about dressing, and being feminine.

You will know that she truly accepts you when she asks you to dress up and starts helping you with your hair, make-up, and wardrobe, as well as teaching you how to behave like a lady. This is when she has embraced who you are, and is ready to go out and have dinner with you (perhaps a late dinner in a dark restaurant at first), or go shopping with you to help you pick out clothes that are not too ****ty.

You will also need to start thinking for yourself about how far you want to go. Do you just want it to be at home, in the bedroom? The occasional evening out, or perhaps a whole week-end as your feminine self with you and your wife as two sisters or girlfriends going out for a week-end of fun and adventure. You might even want to go to a hotel in a different town, just to make it more fun for her. Obviously she will need to pick up the restaurant tabs, but it will give both of you a chance to experience both sides of who you are.

It doesn't sound like you are considering transition, which is something you should let her know. She needs to know that you still want to be her husband and her man, as well as her girlfriend. The fact that she knew, and was relieved that you finally told her, and that she wanted to wait for you to tell her, tells me that she may have some secret desires of her own, that you may enjoy exploring with her. She might want to have more control, to dominate, or to be seduced. She might even be open to exploring new options such as toys and sensual play, things that intimidate traditional masculine men are now options that you can explore together. You no longer have to protect the facade of masculinity to protect your feminine side.

I suspect that if you are willing to explore her needs and desires, and what your honesty has opened up, that you will find that you both love each other more than you ever thought possible.

[Beverley Sims]

That to me is a very first big step.
The response is wonderful and I hope the road is not too rocky for you.
Keep on loving each other and move slowly.
You have the rest of your life together.

[Tina B.]

Congratulations, telling my wife was the best day in my life, because it made the rest of it so much nicer!
Tina B.

[kimdl93]

Your blessed with a very thoughtful and intelligent woman.

[Shananigans]

Cooked, cleaned, AND bought flowers?! You probably could have told me that you robbed a bank and I'd still be happy. ;)

Lol congratulations! I am glad that your coming-out to your wife went well. It's awesome that she wants to learn more about what it means to be TG. I wish you two all of the best!

[BRANDYJ]

I love the way you went about things. Congratulations! What a fantastic wife you have! She no doubt loves you. I hope she joins here so she too can get the support she may need. Please ask her to join us and then join FAB. She really sounds like the kind of woman we all would love to see here; both other GG's and the rest of us.

[JamieG]

What a great story! Thanks for sharing.

[muzzy]

I'm very happy for the both of you xoxo

[ReineD]

She sounds like a gem! I'm so happy that you've both decided to join forces and deal with this together, rather than be at logger heads. :hugs:

You can also mention to your wife that we have a FAB (female at birth) support forum if she wants to talk to other wives/girlfriends. She'd need to become a member and first post ten times outside of any posts made in intro sections though:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/faq.php?faq=pf#faq_gg_forum

[Silentpartner GG SO]

Thats a lovely story and a wonderful outcome. As others have said, take it slowly now - dont want to spoil everything by pushing too far too fast.

I hope your wife decides to join us here - she sounds a lovely lady.

[VictoriaP]

First of all, Congratulations! Your story is similar to mine, at least the beginning. My story also mirrors Bobbie's. My wife took it all in and said she wanted to research and learn and then about 3 months after our talk and just when I thought things were going well, she dropped the "I have lost the man I married...." on me also. It took us lots and lots of talking and less dressing up than I wanted to do for quite a while but we eventually worked it out. I do not think that for my wife at least she will ever be comfortable with some aspects of my being a CD but we have found her comfort level. As Bobbie says TALK TALK TALK! And if SHE stops talking make sure you take the time to find out why. I did not and it cost a lot, even though we worked it out in the end. good luck!

[Kathryn_Cox]

Congratulations, very brave and I know it takes a lot to do this when you have so much to loose. I know that it has already been said but the emotions will go up and down alot at first, small steps ,let her set your boundries, beware of the pink fog and most of all give her all our Love and big big hugs. xxx

[Julia_in_Pa]

Remember that after the initial shock and first acceptance has been proclaimed the great disillusionment by your spouse will occur.
Let's revisit in 3 months shall we?


Julia

[Tracii G]

Best to take it slow and include her in everything concerning this.
Be on the same page totally you owe her that.
I'm happy for you both and hope that you find solid middle ground to build on.

[Jeannie]

When I told my wife it was the most liberating moment of my entire life. To not have to carry that around anymore was wonderful and her acceptance was just to much to ever hope for but it made me love her even more when she did. We are totally inseparable and we made an agreement from that day forward we would always try new things together. These last 21 years have gone by without a single shouting match or major argument because there is just no reason for it. I am truly blessed and I have wished that everyone here could be just as lucky. Keeping secrets in a marriage is not good only makes things worse when truth does come out. Take is easy with her and let her learn at her own pace. This is just my experience and opinion. Good Luck.

[Michelle Charles]

I am so proud of you for being honest and open. I am happy for you in how things have progressed. I agree with the other ladies here and their comments. One thing to always keep in mind, she married a man cause she wanted a husband. Iwould hope if you do that first and do that always, there will be room and time for this new woman in her life. Counseling is only as good as the therapist and the patients willingness to work out issues!
Best wishes
Michelle

[TeresaL]

You are off to a great start! I'm happy for you and your SO. Keep her informed, I'm sure you will. ;-)
:love:

[Leah Lynn]

That is so neat! I've read about so many loving, understanding wives/SO's here. When I should have been searching for a soulmate, I picked a sex partner.

[Ms Mira]

Sounds like you have a great SO! :)

Just work with her, and I'm sure things will go well.

[CINDYO]

Leah Lynn, hopefully your partner is both a soulmate and partner in every other respect:) that it what SO should be and nothing less. I was lucky enought to realize the qualities before marriage, unfortunatly that does not happen for everyone

[linda allen]

That's a great story and I wish you both the best. As others have said, take it slow and let her set the pace. That's what I am doing.

[jillleanne]

Congrats. on two fronts; her acceptance and your strength and need to come out to her. As most would now agree, slow and steady and have fun being who you are.

[donnalee]

That's wonderful news! The one thing you must keep in mind is that this is always a dynamic situation, never a static one, and involves constant monitoring and adjustment. Don't let it get away from you.

[wilt575]

Cooked, cleaned, AND bought flowers?! You probably could have told me that you robbed a bank and I'd still be happy. ;)

Lol congratulations! I am glad that your coming-out to your wife went well. It's awesome that she wants to learn more about what it means to be TG. I wish you two all of the best!

May I second what Shananigans said your wife should be nominated for sainthood, also her suspecting ahead of your telling may be a big plus toward the two of you doing things out together occasionally, remember baby steps.

[Joann Smith]

Do your wife got a sister ?....we could use a couple just like her...LOL

[Maria 60]

I know i told this story a hundred times but one more time won't hurt. The day before I was married i thought i was never going to wear another pair of pantyhose again, well was I wrong and when i came back from our honeymoon and we started our new life. There were drawers full of pantyhose, they were on the floor, in the washroom, everywhere. One day i came home from work and put a pair on, at that point i wasn't going to go through the hiding for the rest of my life. So that same night i took a chance and told her everything, from my first time to that same day that I put on her pantyhose. She asked me three questions, do you want to be a women full time, are you gay, and would you be happy in the closet and only share this with me. I said no to the first two and yes to the third question. Then she said i don't care about the cloths but i don't want you wearing my panties and bra's and we went out that night and she bought me panties a bra and pantyhose. It's been 26yrs now and she feels that she has a husband and a friend and believes our relationship is stronger and we are closer because of Maria. My wife didn't make much out of it and just has fun with it. I hope it all works out and don't make to much out of it and take things slow.