2nd Consultation Tomorrow

[LisaMallon]

2nd one tomorrow.

Been a funny couple of weeks since the 1st one, done a lot of crying. Started to work out a timetable and steps. Had a long think about transition priorities.

Told just about everyone I know that I am transitioning. Personally expect a 75% - 85% drop out rate, that is, I will never ever see or hear from them again.

Done a bit of research into things like voice training and makeup classes, etc.

Been totally unable to decide how I want my hair styled. Not got my eyebrows waxed yet and I haven't got new spectacles yet.

We soldier on.

[Julia_in_Pa]

Hi Lisa,

Your percentage of 75 to 85 percent leaving you is about right.

It's time to close and lock the doors and pull down the shades.
It's time to draw close your resources and push forward.
Keep your eyes on the goal.
Be proud of you Lisa.


Julia

[Stephenie S]

Told just about everyone I know that I am transitioning. Personally expect a 75% - 85% drop out rate, that is, I will never ever see or hear from them again.

OMG, sweetie. Shut UP!!

Don't tell ANYONE. They will find out soon enough, dear. For now, just keep your mouth shut.

S

[Jorja]

It is not necessary to tell everyone what you are doing. Since you have told a lot of people, you will for sure lose some but maybe not as many as you think. Some will surprise you. Attitudes have changed in the world and being in transition is not the hell it once was. It is no picnic either. Keep in mind you have a while before hair styles, eyebrow waxing, and glasses are really important.

[LisaMallon]

Oh telling everyone is just one of the ways I deal with things.
If I don't make a major commitment like that then I just continue on procrastinating and dithering.
Better to get the painful part over and done with right away. Otherwise it will always be in the back of my mind.

And I have to create a plan and stick to it, with clear steps and goals, otherwise I do the procrastinating and dithering thing again.

Just the way I deal with things.

[LeaP]

Oh telling everyone is just one of the ways I deal with things.
If I don't make a major commitment like that then I just continue on procrastinating and dithering.
Better to get the painful part over and done with right away. Otherwise it will always be in the back of my mind.

And I have to create a plan and stick to it, with clear steps and goals, otherwise I do the procrastinating and dithering thing again.

Just the way I deal with things.

I understand the need to ground yourself in reality and make commitments. I selectively outed myself to a few people for similar reasons. It was my way of keeping my own BS out of the picture, because someone could call me on it in real life. I'm not above having to keep myself honest.

Be careful, though! You may be getting the pain of telling behind you, but may be setting yourself up for a different kind of problem - and pain.

[LisaMallon]

Oh how you do this depends on your personality.
For me I'd rather get the pain out of the way. I can do it in one hit or in dribs and drabs. Going to be done one way or another.
That 75%+ are going away however I do things. Better to say my goodbyes now and move forward.

Oh I'll miss them, shed some tears already will have more. But there is nothing I can do to change the facts.

[ColleenA]

Be careful, though! You may be getting the pain of telling behind you, but may be setting yourself up for a different kind of problem - and pain.


For me I'd rather get the pain out of the way. That 75%+ are going away however I do things. Better to say my goodbyes now and move forward.

Lisa, I don't want to make assumptions about what LeaP meant when she said "a different kind of problem - and pain," but I know her statement could easily pertain to the threats of physical assault my BFF received when she told people about starting her transition. At least two people threatened her - the brother of her long-time best friend (even though he didn't have a problem with what she was doing), and an ex-GF who came from another country where the culture is very antagonistic toward TG people. She learned very quickly that she seriously needed to avoid those people.

[LisaMallon]

Oh that wont happen, none of the people I know are like that. And Australian culture is fairly easy going about all this now.

Anyway today went fairly well.

Chatted about my family, etc. Discussed my periods of depression and so on.

He's written a recommendation for me to get voice training via Latrobe University. Which is great (and will be cheap).

And I am so lucky I am not hairy and what I have is so fair, this means I can do my electrolysis more slowly and more affordably.
More as a secondary priority for me, rather being primary one as it is for some people.

This means I can focus on some other areas (eg voice) more quickly.

Must also find somewhere I can get proper makeup training.
Plus new walking shoes, new spectacles (which will help change the shape of my face) and some more day to day clothes.

The list goes on and on.

[Carole Cross]

I think the best to learn how to do makeup is to have a makeover. I know of several people who have learnt this way, including myself. They don't mind answering questions and giving you tips on what makeup to use. It will take some time to perfect it when doing it yourself but that is part of transitioning.