Approached at the YMCA - how would it make you feel?

[abigailf]

So I went to the gym today like any other day. I decided on pink. I have gone pink before but not all that often. I have a bright pink top that is form fitting. I wore a sports bra with a cup underneath to give my small breasts a little help. I had on my black shorts with a pink stripe, white New Balance sneakers with pink trim and white crew cut socks with pink trim. I don't worry about what people think about my fashion sense, after all I am transgender, and trans people define fashion.

I always go to the gym dressed and have been for almost a year now. It doesn't bother me that when I scan my card my male name and picture come up. Everyone is so nice there and they always greet me (and everyone) with a smile and a good morning when I arrive.

They never once asked about my picture in the system being different from my feminine appearance. I figured they knew I am trans and they probably discuss it when they have their weekly planning meetings.

Anyway, there was a slight change in the pattern this morning. After clocking in and saying hi I proceeded down the hall to the weight and cardio machine. As I turned down the stairs the girl from behind the desk was right on my tail and caught my attention. She asked if she could talk to me for a minute.

I knew she wanted to ask me something about my being trans. I thought they were going to tell me to not use the locker rooms and perhaps maybe that was her goal. She was very polite "I just wanted you to know that we want to support you in your change. Would you want to change your name and picture in the system? What would you like us to call you?"

I smiled and relied (not so smoothly at the time) "I am petitioning for a name change this summer and I was going to wait until then to talk to you about changing it here."

She said "..and what about the locker rooms?"

Ah there it is I thought. "I don't use either one right now. I am just not comfortable with it. I currently just change in the family locker rooms."

"Well, when you are ready to make that change in the system just let us know."

"Okay, I will and thank you so much for asking."

I had known they knew I was trans. After all I didn't try to hide the fact. But I thought it was nice to approach me like that. I suspected that she wanted to for some time because of her body language every time I walked in. It seemed as if she needed to say something but but not sure what.

She probably didn't want to hurt my feelings and wasn't sure how to say it. It got me thinking. Are we as transpeople all really that sensitive. I mean, I am an approachable person or so I thought I always was. I would imagine that most transpeople are, but maybe I am off on this.

How would you feel if someone approached you like that?

[Aprilrain]

I kinda did what you did but no one ever approached me. One day I just went in with my name change and they updated their system and took a new picture. I started using the woman's locker room after that. I have since given up my membership there due to monetary reasons but am thinking of joining a new gym closer to my home. At the new gym they will only know me as April which i kinda prefer.

[Inna]

LOVE IT! How beautiful of a person she is, I would next time tell her my name and also tell her how beautiful of a person she is, they truly need to know, because they are. But I also understand how approaching us seems a double edge sward. What ifs must be running through their minds, what if this person is Not Trans but just looks that way, what if it is genetic woman with really masculine features, what if, what if!
And so the courage of theirs is as important as our own. Love this story for it shows how beautiful people are, and amongst doubters there are genuine loving humans as well!

[CharleneT]

"How would you feel if someone approached you like that?"

Lucky ;)

Most won't be quite that friendly and helpful - few will give you trouble though. In my case, I never let 'em know I was trans, I just used the facilities as a woman and had not probs.

Good for them !! I like that they offered to help you out - vs - you having to ask for special treatment !!

[kimdl93]

Isn't it nice when people are genuine, thoughtful and considerate. I'm also assuming that their management must have established TG friendly policies and done a good job of training in their staff.

[Sharon]

"How would you feel if someone approached you like that?"

Lucky ;)

Most won't be quite that friendly and helpful - few will give you trouble though. In my case, I never let 'em know I was trans, I just used the facilities as a woman and had not probs.

Good for them !! I like that they offered to help you out - vs - you having to ask for special treatment !!

Ditto! .................................

[Jorja]

It is not because you are not approachable. It is because people are uncomfortable with it. You know, What if I make a mistake and call her him? What if I screw up and touch this person? Will I get STDs or that flesh eating disease? Then one day it happens. They actually talk to you! OMG, I can't believe she was terribly easy to talk to. I think I like her.

So be careful, you might just have some new friends joining your circle.

[cyndigurl45]

That sounded super nice..... I had to change gym's, not so much being worried about how they would perceive someone during transition but more so it was/is a real hard core iron pumping testosterone lofting in the air kinda gym. Now besides having light weights and cardio equipment at home I go to a real family friendly gym, has a lap pool and more machines then free weights. when I signed up they didn't bat an eye, I was given the tour with a female trainer we did the locker room she explained the locker and lock policy blah blah..... and that was it all good.

[abigailf]

I did tell her my name. Our conversation was more than those sentences. I also went back to the front desk after my work out to tell her that I am okay being identified here as a transsexual and not to worry if ever they need to talk to me.

I thanked her again. But I liked your idea Inna,the next time I am in there I will tell her just what a beautiful soul she is. I'll try to tell her when people are around too.

They maybe more worried about their other patrons finding out there is a transsexual member. Locker rooms and bathrooms are always a touchy subject, especially if children get exposed.

For me I don't need to be stealth. I like to, but I don't mind being identified as trans. I just don't want to be identified as a man. I want to educate as many people as I can on the transgender issues and I can not do that in stealth or in the closet.

[ReneeT]

I am in a similar situation but havenot had the experience you have. I had gone to my local Y for years and then took a while off. I returned in January and go every day. My wifes personal trainer is usually there and we talk a lot. No one has ever said anything to me. While my workout clothes come from the womens dept, i stick to neutral colors. I do wear a sports bra but my chest is definately noticeable. I get my share of sidelong glances. I go into the mens locker room, but only to weigh myself and to get coffee. I would NEVER shower or change there. I will likely change gyms after transition

[TSAlyssa]

That is so cool! I go to 24 hour fitness and have for the last three years. My membership is under my female name and shows me as a female. They use a fingerprint when you check in. No locker room issues, or other issues.

[Badtranny]

OMG you're supposed to KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!

Don't you people learn anything from this forum? ;-) There is nothing more horrible than being transgender, don't talk about it dammit.

[Inna]

OMG you're supposed to KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!

Don't you people learn anything from this forum? ;-) There is nothing more horrible than being transgender, don't talk about it dammit.

LMAO, you are a trip! LUV

[Nicole Erin]

I had a problem at the gym I go to. I just use the men's cause of not being all that passable and crap and I can just see some young women screaming if I went to the women's lockers.
I guess at some point some douchebag complained about why the place let a woman use the men's locker room. THAT was fun to explain but I still wonder if the manager of the place was just being nosy about me and needed an excuse to pull me aside.

I normally "keep my mouth shut" about being TS cause i feel no desire to educate people about us. In this case I had little choice.

Thing is, the gym I go to claims to be all about diversity and "ANYONE" is welcome, yet their TV ads are focused on poking fun at bodybuilders. Maybe I am a wuss but I would not want to aggravate some of the bodybuilders I have seen at hardcore gyms. I am not a bodybuilder myself. I do like to hit the gym though when I am not finding every excuse known to man.

[Rachel Smith]

So I went to the gym today like any other day. I decided on pink. I have gone pink before but not all that often. I have a bright pink top that is form fitting. I wore a sports bra with a cup underneath to give my small breasts a little help. I had on my black shorts with a pink stripe, white New Balance sneakers with pink trim and white crew cut socks with pink trim. I don't worry about what people think about my fashion sense, after all I am transgender, and trans people define fashion.

I always go to the gym dressed and have been for almost a year now. It doesn't bother me that when I scan my card my male name and picture come up. Everyone is so nice there and they always greet me (and everyone) with a smile and a good morning when I arrive.

They never once asked about my picture in the system being different from my feminine appearance. I figured they knew I am trans and they probably discuss it when they have their weekly planning meetings.

Anyway, there was a slight change in the pattern this morning. After clocking in and saying hi I proceeded down the hall to the weight and cardio machine. As I turned down the stairs the girl from behind the desk was right on my tail and caught my attention. She asked if she could talk to me for a minute.

I knew she wanted to ask me something about my being trans. I thought they were going to tell me to not use the locker rooms and perhaps maybe that was her goal. She was very polite "I just wanted you to know that we want to support you in your change. Would you want to change your name and picture in the system? What would you like us to call you?"

I smiled and relied (not so smoothly at the time) "I am petitioning for a name change this summer and I was going to wait until then to talk to you about changing it here."

She said "..and what about the locker rooms?"

Ah there it is I thought. "I don't use either one right now. I am just not comfortable with it. I currently just change in the family locker rooms."

"Well, when you are ready to make that change in the system just let us know."

"Okay, I will and thank you so much for asking."

I had known they knew I was trans. After all I didn't try to hide the fact. But I thought it was nice to approach me like that. I suspected that she wanted to for some time because of her body language every time I walked in. It seemed as if she needed to say something but but not sure what.

She probably didn't want to hurt my feelings and wasn't sure how to say it. It got me thinking. Are we as transpeople all really that sensitive. I mean, I am an approachable person or so I thought I always was. I would imagine that most transpeople are, but maybe I am off on this.

How would you feel if someone approached you like that?

I live my life as a woman except at work and I have not begun any sort of transition. From my point of view I think we worry and fret about things and make things worse then then they really are. I would feel good that they extended their hand in a friendly way and be much more confidant when I was there in knowing that I was excepted for what I am.

Rachel

[arbon]

How would you feel if someone approached you like that?

It would not bother me at all, I think they were trying to do a good thing.

I had similar situations when people were trying to be helpful - like a few clients where I work who knew I was transitioning would asked me if I was going by another name then my male name that I would be more comfortable with them using.It was very nice of them to reach out I thought.

[kellycan27]

It's fun to stay at the YMCA http://youtu.be/dOHZOUjOwWE :heehee:

[Sammy777]

OMG you're supposed to KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!

Don't you people learn anything from this forum? ;-) There is nothing more horrible than being transgender, don't talk about it dammit.

Rule #1 You do not talk about Transclub

Rule #2 You DO NOT talk about Transclub

http://www.diggingforfire.net/sitegfx/FightClub.jpg