I wonder what goes through their minds when they clock us?

[Marleena]

I have often thought about what the general public thinks when they clock one of us MTF's. I had one guy that had a huge smile on his face when he saw me, no idea what that was about he wasn't laughing. I had a lady smile at me only to see her expression change to a huh when she got closer.:) Most are just second glances..

I'd love to hear from the girls here that were approached and questioned about it.

Anybody?

[Kate Simmons]

You're right, we would be surprised what really goes through people's minds Hon. Off hand I'd venture to say the guy was probably undressing you mentally and the woman was probably jealous, but hey, what do I know? It would be fun to see some of these reactions on a "Candid Camera" type of show exclusively for that.:)

[Kaz]

I love this... when I have been out I am sooooooo nervous (even though I try to project confidence), so every look, every expression that is more than NOTHING becomes substantial! I remember them all.. well all that I noticed!

A few weeks ago I drove back from a stop over late pm. Basically I had stayed over for a work do and 'dressed' to go home - a good drive with lots of get out and go walkabout parts. I stopped in York en route, ordered a take away curry, got parked in my usual spot and because I had been dressed all day I thought 'what the hell' - I'll go pick up the take-away as Kaz. This madness... I don't live in York, but I use this take-away (take-out) a lot and they know me (in drab mode)...

So I park up, check my make-up, it is busy! get out and walk to the restaurant. En route a group of people outside a pub all on smart-phones... I walk past and hear 'that's a bloke'... I turn, smiling, and they are all looking at their phones... I get to the top of the street and bottle out. I walk back past them... not a glance... get in the car, change to drab and go pick up my curry...

I still don't know if they had clocked me or were talking about something completely different! And so it goes....

I have been checked out by guys... but again... I don't know what is in their heads!

[Kate Simmons]

Oh I know exactly what's in their heads Kaz.That's when you know you've become a sex object to someone and their fantasies take over from there. Gotta love it Hon.:battingeyelashes::)

[Amanda22]

Good thread, Marleena. I've wondered this, too. My favorite reaction is when a woman looks at me and gives me a gentle, almost "knowing" smile. It makes me feel amazing, as though I'm accepted for trying so hard to blend as a genetic woman.

[Wildaboutheels]

Let's not forget the teenagers [mostly] trying to take your picture with their cellphones and doing their silliest best to pretend that they are not.

[AllieSF]

I guess I would have to relate it to my own experience of seeing someone very differently dressed as a CD or not, before I ever started dressing those long 5+ years ago. I would think, hey, now that is a strange outfit and then wondered why they did that. I didn't know anything about crossdressing as a life style back then so it was one of those "Whatever floats your boat" moments for me. Now, when I go out I hardly ever notice people looking, staring or with those little "WTF" looks on their faces. If I do notice, I always try to make it a point to look them in the eyes, smile and give them a sweet wave, hoping to be able to talk to them before they make their escape. It works so well and I have some of the greatest conversations and experiences that way. Experiences that I would never have the opportunity to enjoy if I never crossdressed in the first place.

[JenniferR771]

I am usually disappointed when the clerks at my favorite thrift stores spot me right away when enfemme. "How could you tell it was me?"

But I fooled one last week because I was wearing big sunglasses. "I didn't even recongize you at first!"
"Do I look OK? Am I overdressed?"
"No, you are fine. Maybe you work at an office and you are just here on your lunch break."

[Melissa Rose]

I wonder about it for a fleeting second on occasion. I cannot directly control what someone thinks or believes so I do not worry about it or let it bother me. I'm not looking for full acceptance or understanding, but only to be treated with respect, dignity and civility. Actions speak louder than words (or thoughts), and so far I have only been treated as I would like to be treated and better in many instances. While it would be fun on occasion to know what someone is thinking regarding me, I have no desire to really know. My own thoughts are scary and weird enough.

[sissystephanie]

As some of you know, for the past seven years since my wife passed away, I have gone out in public almost every day dressed totally enfemme from the skin out. However I wear no makeup, nor do I wear a wig! So obviously I am a man dressed totally enfemme! I know that I am going to be "clocked" but I don't care!! I dress to please myself not the rest of the world!

I do get lots of questions, mostly about where I bought what I am wearing. But sometimes I do get asked if I am really wearing a skirt, or is it a special type of mens shorts. My usual reply is that it is a skirt, and that all my clothing is feminine!! I am a crossdresser so why hide it? Of course I don't show off my panties, but I won't hide the fact that I am wearing them. Same with my bra. I have been wearing a bra for over 60 years now so why hide it?

[Sandra1746]

Most other people never even notice, they are too concerned with what they are doing to really register your presence. Besides that, you are not doing anything illegal so don't worry about it.

I do wonder though but I sure am not going to let it bother me. I can't control what others think so I'm not going to worry.

Enjoy life,
Sandra1746

[Eryn]

I don't think that I get made that often. I stand out, but as long as the first impression I give is "female" then it takes a lot to change that initial determination.

I think that their first thought when they see me is "Wow, that woman is tall!"

At that point they probably look at my face.

The males decide that I'm too unattractive to be a viable sexual partner and thereafter ignore me.

The women decide that I'm too unattractive to be viable competition and thereafter ignore me.

If they were to examine me any further they would probably find other small clues that I'm not the gender I'm presenting, but then again there are GGs that share those same masculine characteristics. They really cannot know for sure.

Note that we are probably looking much more intensely for others like ourselves. I happen upon those who I think might be sisters, but it is very seldom that I can know absolutely for sure that someone is a CDer and not a GG with masculine features.

And, what about those GGs who have some masculine features? I'm sure that they don't like having those features, but they certainly don't worry about "passing!" They're just themselves and nobody questions them at all!

[Kaz]

And, what about those GGs who have some masculine features? I'm sure that they don't like having those features, but they certainly don't worry about "passing!" They're just themselves and nobody questions them at all!

I think about this a lot... they are a large part of the population! We may want to be sexy and glamorous... but this may be where most of us are positioning in practice - if we want to pass, that is! Whoops, my marketing background showing here... target where you will pass and dress/behave accordingly?

Yikes... I need to rethink my wardrobe!

[ReineD]

People have different opinions about this depending on their backgrounds and system of beliefs. Here's a sample:

1. Oh, he's presenting as a female, just like my brother (or my neighbor, or my uncle).
2. Cool, I wonder if I should tell her that I'm a CDer too.
3. Hmmm. I've heard of men who crossdress. I wonder why they do this.
4. Hmph! There goes another queer.
5. This is wrong, wrong, wrong, and is against the Bible.
6. Quick, hide the kids, here comes a pedophile.
7. Eww gross, I wonder if that guy thinks he's pretty.
8. Ha-ha, that's funny.
9. Good for him for being brave enough to express himself.
10. What man in a dress? All I see is a person who seems to be very nice.
11. Oh wow! He did a great job. I never would have known if you hadn't pointed him out.

Edit - I forgot one, but I'm sure this exists as well at certain venues:
12. (per Kate Simmons): Oh, there's a tranny, I wonder if he wants to f***.

Personal take on this: I think for most people who notice, it's "I wonder why he does this". At least this is what I tell myself. :) My SO and I go out and have gotten to know some people who do know that my SO is not a GG (which is to be expected when there is a significant amount of interaction with someone). We've never been asked, "why". So I'm assuming that people draw their own conclusions based on their personal experiences, what they've gleaned from their personal lives, the media, and/or their religious upbringing.

[Sara Jessica]

I'm liking your list Reine...


1. Oh, he's presenting as a female, just like my brother (or my neighbor, or my uncle).
2. Cool, I wonder if I should tell her that I'm a CDer too.
3. Hmmm. I've heard of men who crossdress. I wonder why they do this.
4. Hmph! There goes another queer.
5. This is wrong, wrong, wrong, and is against the Bible.
6. Quick, hide the kids, here comes a pedophile.
7. Eww gross, I wonder if that guy thinks he's pretty.
8. Ha-ha, that's funny.
9. Good for him for being brave enough to express himself.
10. What man in a dress? All I see is a person who seems to be very nice.
11. Oh wow! He did a great job. I never would have known if you hadn't pointed him out.

Edit - I forgot one, but I'm sure this exists as well at certain venues:
12. (per Kate Simmons): Oh, there's a tranny, I wonder if he wants to f***.

For what it's worth, I strive for #11, substituting the word "she" & "her" for "he" & "him" of course. :)

I'll add #13, the first one that came to mind when I saw this thread...

13. WTF

and #14 is actually courtesy of a wonderful friend of mine who brings this one up when we get that #13 look (and actually that #12 look as well)...

14. Well we know that he'll be waking up at 2:00 a.m. with nasty thoughts!

Hey, no one said it had to be "what are they thinking at that very minute"!!!


I don't think that I get made that often. I stand out, but as long as the first impression I give is "female" then it takes a lot to change that initial determination.

I know I get read often, or at least that is my expectation. My hope is that I stand the test of time for that first, or even the second glance. If I last that long, then perhaps they will move on before coming to a trans-conclusion.

[STACY B]

I realy dont know what everyone else thinks but I know what I think if I see one .... Dammmmm I sure didn't know that it was that kind of PARTY ,,,I would have chosen a better outfit ,,,,,,,,,,, GEEZ !!! Every time my SHIP comes in Im alway at the BUS station .

[wilt575]

Let's not forget the teenagers [mostly] trying to take your picture with their cellphones and doing their silliest best to pretend that they are not.

I often wonder why mostly its the pre-teen and teen gals that clock us more then most anybody.

[NathalieX66]

My experience being out & about has been either two things:
1. They don't know. This is not because I'm good or perfect, it's because I swear some people are too stupid.
2. People, if they do figure me out, are too courteous and kind, so they don't look at me.

Mind you, I'm 5'6", and fairly thin, but not like a teenage girl. I usually wear some kind of crop cardigan sweater to disguise my male upper arms. I'm pretty finicky when it comes to present my self publically so I don't give myself away too much.

BTW, guys are always looking for beauty, and since I fall out of their ideal, their eyes don't pay much attention to me. They just look the other way. I do get sized up by women more frequently.

And to Reine's quote:

5. This is wrong, wrong, wrong, and is against the Bible.
In the Old Testament section of the NIV Bible, read Deuteronomy 22: 5 "A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this."

Anyone care to join me in the Lake of Eternal Fire™?

[ReineD]

I often wonder why mostly its the pre-teen and teen gals that clock us more then most anybody.

By the time we're adults, we've learned that it is rude to stare. Kids haven't learned this yet. The longer someone stares, the greater the likelihood of being read.



And to Reine's quote:

In the Old Testament section of the NIV Bible, read Deuteronomy 22: 5 "A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this."

I just want to make clear that my comment was not an assessment of how to interpret the Bible. I was merely listing the various attitudes I've heard about the CDing through the years in my personal life, in the media, and also through some posts here, from some of our members who've belonged to church groups. I personally do not believe the CDing is wrong or sinful. Marleena asked what do some people think, and some people do indeed believe the CDing goes against the Bible.

[Marleena]

Yes avoid teenage girls at all costs! They giggle.

I had a #13 in Vegas (WTF?) I think. My wife and I passed a big group of people in the parking garage entrance. When I looked back an early twenties woman was looking at her husband and if I could read lips she said "was that a guy?" I might have been paranoid too.:) I would just love to be a mindreader when I'm out.

[Tabitha Storm]

That is what psyches me out from buying in person a lot. I start to wonder what they will think even though I don't know them. I become a nervous nelly. Trying to work on that.

[ReineD]

When I looked back an early twenties woman was looking at her husband and if I could read lips she said "was that a guy?" I might have been paranoid too.:) I would just love to be a mindreader when I'm out.

Marleena, as difficult as this is to come to terms with, most CDers are read when examined closely. Maybe not when they're very young (I have a son who is 18 and he would be absolutely gorgeous if you put a wig on him), but after decades of testosterone the male gender cues are strong. Even transsexuals feel they need to do more than just put on clothes and makeup (with HRT, FFS, electrolysis).

The thing is, if you have sufficiently adequate female gender cues (the right hair, clothes, makup, etc, combined with an air of confidence), it will be OK. Most people don't stare, they don't pay close enough attention, and even if they do you'll only be a blip on their radar for the day. Also, once you gain confidence like my SO and begin to frequent certain places regularly enough to get to know and talk to people, they'll get to know you (they will know you are not a genetic female) but your inner self, your personality will shine through and it will dissipate any bias they may have that stems from lack of exposure to CDers.

My SO and I are well received by the people who've taken the time and trouble to get to know us. :)

[Bree-asaurus]

I get noticed a LOT... but I never get negative reactions... So I guess it's a toss up between:

"Is that a guy?????"

"WOW SHE'S TALL!!!"

"WOW SHE'S HAWT!!!"

"WOW SHE'S TALL AND HAWT!!!"

"Is that a hawt guy??? I wonder if she'd do me???!!!"

"AM I GAY?!?!?!?"

[Marleena]

@ Reine don't get me wrong I'm totally okay with going out and about (except in my town). I would just love to know what goes through people's minds.:) I think Kate had a great idea with Candid Camera for TG girls.

I also can understand once people take the time to know us or ask about us they'll realize that we are harmless and pretty cool too.:)

[Eryn]

I often wonder why mostly its the pre-teen and teen gals that clock us more then most anybody.

Because they:
1. are impulsive
2. are really into clothes and makeup and check these things out on everyone
3. have brains not yet cluttered with adult minutiae

I was visiting a frozen yogurt place with Persephone and she whispered in my ear "I think we've been made." This was a polite fiction on her part because Persephone pretty much will pass everywhere but at the gynecologist's and it was I who attracted the attention of a table of teen girls.

We sat down at a table across the room from them to eat our yogurt (chocolate and cookie dough, yummy!) and were amused by their furtive attempts to look at me while I was seated facing them directly. Every time one looked our way I smiled at her. Great fun!

Of course, not long ago such an experience would have had me catatonic. I *have* grown!


Anyone care to join me in the Lake of Eternal Fire™?

If all it takes to get there is wearing a dress and liking it we will be surrounded by many friends! I'll have the Cherries Jubilee, please!

[docrobbysherry]

Without my masks, I'm like a step in your road. U can just ignore it and step over it, laff or complain about it, think, "That's a really odd place place for it"! But, no one confuses me with a woman. I'm getting to the point where I'm going to start asking folks in the latter groups what they think!

The only time I hear, "I think that was a guy!", is wearing my masks!

[PretzelGirl]

#15 - What is that stuck in her teeth?

I don't worry about what they think, but I haven't had one of those really bad experiences, so maybe that comes into play. Some of it is how we take things too. I was with three friends on Fremont St in Vegas (a very crowded and noisy area). A young lady came up from behind me and asked me the time. I answered somewhat softly and watched as she walked away and she pulled out her cell phone. Ah! A voice check. So I turned around and told my friends we had just been complimented. Some of us wouldn't like being clocked. My view is we were complimented because she needed to here my voice to know.

[BobbieBrooks]

I don't know what goes through their minds but I like having the isles to myself!! LOL

BobbieB

[Tracii G]

Teen girls and boys will make a ruckus if they have their friends with them, alone they don't say much.
I do care what people think but I don't know them personally so their opinion doesn't mean all that much to me.
I have been clocked at the mall a lot but most people seem inquisitive more than totally appalled.
Only had one religious guy in the mall parking lot give me a hard time for being a "blasphemer" as he called it.
I think he may have gotten in trouble with his wife because she was coming up the parking lot when he was telling me off.I was trying to push him back out of my face at the time.I hate when people try to get right up in your face like that.
She did give me a "you bitch" type of look from far away.
I hope she thought he was hitting on me.
Most people probably don't care about us enough to say anything.

[KellyJameson]

You are able to send out a number of visable sexual cues that increase your chances of being clocked because sex sells (attracts)

You have nicely formed legs with a slender shape and from the waist up do a
good presentation considering as Reine mentioned a life time of testosterone so this is going to invite scrutiny for the same but opposite reason a man with a beard in a dress would, you come close to the feminine where he is very far removed from it.

Once you create sexual interest or become a sexual competitor you are now holding a ticking time bomb in your hands. Avoiding the sexual cues reduces the chances of being noticed ( but it is less fun ).

For some it is possible to use clothes in such a way that being "clocked" is drastically
reduced but this means removing any and all sexual cues and playing it very
conservatively. Modest shorter hair style, makeup,dress, jewelry, ect. (business look)

Crossdressing in some ways is a lose lose proposition because if you look to good but not good enough you lose from the scrutiny you draw or if you do not even come close to looking passable you automatically lose but sexualizing the crossdressing is playing with fire because it can create appetite and powerfully draws
others attention.

Much of the wondering is proportional to the sexual overtones in my opinion.

The man with the big smile was the Cheshire Cat wanting to eat you up.

[Annaliese2010]

I'm generally not interested in what random ppl think about me, certainly not males (yech). But I love it any time I get friendly attention & smiles from other women...which what? Proby means theyre bi or lezzie. That's My cup of tea, lil sister. Ooh la la! :battingeyelashes:

[Barbara Ella]

I am new to going out dressed. My fourth time, last one, was mall walking. As I passed the SmashBox cosmetic store, the young SA smiled at me and said Hi. i secretly think she was thinking that here was someone who could really use my help, and i will sell a shitload of product. She looked at me, and suddenly her expression became open mouthed, and a little OH slipped out as she realized. I would have loved to know what the thoughts were that were racing through her mind. She did keep smiling and greeted me friendly after realizing I was not a woman.

Barbara

[Leslie Langford]

Whenever I go out in public as "Leslie", I always try to dress in a manner that is stylish, age-appropriate, and lady-like. I may not always "pass", but I do aim for blending in, even if the bar that I set for myself in this regard is sometimes a bit higher than my immediate surroundings might typically call for

And if there is one thing that I have learned on this forum, it is that there is no use trying to fool ourselves that we are going to "pass' in all instances. Mathematically speaking, I would guess that the odds of being "read" are directly proportional to the amount of time that we spend interacting with someone else, and as Reine has correctly pointed out so many times, our basic male natures subconsciously give off so many subtle visual and vocal clues despite our best efforts to the contrary that the best we can hope for is to stall the inevitable recognition.

But as they say, the best defense is a strong offense, and my interpretation of that maxim in relation to my crossdressing is try to dress better than most women these days, and to use that as the lightning rod to draw their attention elsewhere as opposed to fixating on trying to guess my true gender.

So to answer Marleena's question, my hope is that in my case, others would look at the entire package and see how it ties together, rather than obsessing only with the contents. That said, I must be doing something right here, because I have lost track of the number of GG's who have spontaneously felt compelled to compliment me on both my outfits and fashion sense, even after they had likely already read me.

To put it another way - the last time my favorite GG make up artist did a makeover on me, she again mentioned what a pleasure it was to work with me and how I always wore such nice clothes whenever I came to see her. Then, as the makeover was in full progress, she excused herself at one point to shoo away the young puppy that she had just gotten for her family and who had wandered into her studio, saying that she was afraid that the dog might jump on me and put a run in my pantyhose. If that isn't a subconscious expression of care, concern, and above all - tacit acceptance into the "sisterhood", I don't know what is...

[kimdl93]

Good thread, Marleena. I've wondered this, too. My favorite reaction is when a woman looks at me and gives me a gentle, almost "knowing" smile. It makes me feel amazing, as though I'm accepted for trying so hard to blend as a genetic woman.

I'm sure that the "why" question arises in many peoples minds - heck something we often discuss among ourselves. Other than that, there's such a spectrum of reactions. I've seen some people who were evidently amused, others turned away out of embarrassment or disapproval. And though I'm not a mind reader, I've elicited some reactions as Amanda mentions. A warm and understanding smile always leave me feeling very good about myself even if no words are exchanged.

[Karren H]

............. SQUIREL!!!! ............

If you haven't seen UP you won't get it.

[kimdl93]

............. SQUIREL!!!! ............

If you haven't seen UP you won't get it.. Or 'cat' ...if you've seen 'Vampires Suck'