Is looking nice worth the price?

[Kate Simmons]

Many of us go out of our way to look nice and sometimes it takes a lot of time, money and effort. Using those resources usually provides a good end result but doesn't come without a price sometimes. That price could be in the form of strained relations with an SO or using time that could have gone to family activities. It's really a "trade off" sometimes and although we may be happy with our appearance, did something else of importance suffer because of it? The effort put forth could have been utilized for improvement projects or something else to benefit the loved ones but sometimes we decide to improve ourselves. It's really a tough row to hoe to balance things sometimes and not without it's challenges. The discreet CDer will fail in favor of family interests, however.

As far as how much we spend to look lovely, that is up to each individual but unless we get a substantial ROI (return on investment) for our beauty buck we can be tossing away a lot of cash that could be used for something more practical. The more experience we get, the more we learn that balance is the real key and our mindset on looking nice is just as or more important than how much we may spend. From my perspective, the overall idea is to generate a positive female image and have fun in the process. As Walt Disney once told Mickey Mouse when he was going to take over while Walt was on vacation:"Have fun but watch the budget". We too can be creative and have fun if we don't sacrifice the more important things to do it. What do you think? :)

[NathalieX66]

I did 9 rounds of laser to remove my beard, and some electrolysis. Yes, I look better as a girl when I'm out in public. That means far less makeup.....but, I look much better as a guy too! I was tired of everyone ( my mom, my GF, My boss) hounding me about how thick my beard stubble was....so I did something about it. No loss for me. No regrets whatsoever. So therefore my ROI has worked out......though I just wish I could have paid a little less, moneywise.

I took some ribbing from growing my hair from a buzzcut to shoulder legnth hair, but people have finally backed off. Now I'm me the way I want to be.

[Barbara Ella]

Yes, this is an important consideration, especially if money worries can strain the family relationship. We have not had the advantage of developing ourselves over many years of growing and maturing, and often must cram expenses into a relatively short time, and it really looks bad in terms of expenses and return, but if it makes you feel even just a little bit better about yourself, then it is worth it (if you dont get yelled at...lol). I want to do a MAC makeover this summer, that will be expensive,and wont know how successful it will be until after it is over. As you stated. Dont sacrifice the more important things, the key is to be able to recognize them and prioritize. Above all, we cannot be selfish in our desire for improvement.

Barbara

[Kathi Lake]

I did 9 rounds of laser to remove my beard, . . . but, I look much better as a guy too! I was tired of everyone ( my mom, my GF, My boss) hounding me about how thick my beard stubble was....Sounds exactly like me! I did laser to not only get rid of all of the ingrown hairs (my neck hair grew straight up - right into my skin), but to get rid of the annoying beard shadow that I had soon after shaving. Heck, my 5 o' clock shadow was usually no later than 10:45. In the military, I used to get constant comments like, "Did you shave this morning? Really? Well, you need to again."

Was it painful? As thick as mine was, oh yes! Was it worth it? Definitely. I look younger, don't get ingrown hairs anymore, and - as a bonus - my makeup looks a bit better on those rare times that I dress.

:)

Kathi

[noeleena]

Hi,

Im a woman how would i know , ya well.

do i look nice, at what price , more than likely the same as Jos at the time i paid for both Jos's & my clothes ,& redoing some of my day wear,

time spent makeing & sewing my clothes , those clothes are for our period wear the groups im a member of .some 14 different sets

As our 3 grown up adults have left home & have thier own children theres no issues, though i spend time with Jos being with our daughter & her 4 kids every week.

Because im on hormones & use my epilater i dont spend a lot of time about every 8 to 10 weeks & about 1, 1 / 2 hours,

as it is i dont spend much time on my self concerning getting dressed as to make up allmost nil. i just dont need to,

You could say 1/4 of an hour dressed lippy eye brow liner & go.

There are more importaint things i like doing being with Jos family our groups & my friends, house work & maintaince of our house & doing wood work so you could say im quite busy doing things more than im that concerned about how i look , though haveing said that i do get dressed up for our outings,

would i spend hours getting dressed to go out or meetings no, 1 / 2 an hour is tops, if that,

the comment of beauty, for me its about my inner beauty that counts not do i have to try & look like a film star, im just a woman who does not need to impress others by how i look.

i dress for myself & when others comment then thats my day made.

...noeleena...

[Alice Torn]

Very good thread, Kate. In these highly uncertain times, in a depression. Yes, it is that. It is still so easy to overdue anything! I have become addicted to Ebay. Although, i am frugal, and only buy bargains, it is still more than i spend on charities. I am very self centered, and narcisstist, admittedly. But, when i am able, id o help my fellow man or woman out, with help in need. I don't have a SO or kids, though. Having been working poor all my life, and now on disability, I better watch my compulsions. It is so blasted easy to be selfish, in the Me generation we have been in for 45 years. All in moderation and balance, is the best thing. Being bipolar, that is not always easy. But seeing a work of art in ftont of the mirror does not takea lot of money, either.

[_Kira_]

:brolleyes: it's not a question..
Price?.. I 'm ready to sell my soul for being myself((

[Brenda79135]

Although I don't spend much on this activity, I do spend some. My grand father once told me 'If you are not happy, how can you expect the rest of your family to be happy?' This has worked well for me. My wife and I both make sure that there is time and a little bit of money for our interests so that we can be happy. Once this is done, it is easier to take care of the other matters that come up.

[Cynthia Anne]

Indeed the 'price' can be great! Rather it be $$$ or relations! Once you are over your ''budget'' you are out of control! One must regain control to receive happiness! Hugs!

[Karren H]

Guess if you don't want to look nice there's always cheap ass women's jeans? Lmoa.

[daviolin]

Good thread Kate. Oh yes I can so fall short of over spending for Daviolin. But I do use the thrift stores and garage sales as my main venue's for shopping. I am on a fixed income so I have learned to be more frugal. One thing thats nice, my wife and I can share clothes. So she gets some perks out of it. But thank you for the reminder, I must take control of my girly needs. Daviolin

[bobbimo]

Excellent Thread Kate!
As far as financial price, I'm very frugal in everything I buy. Gurl clothes are no exception.
I always head for the clearance/ super sale rack when I go shopping.
I love thrift stores and EBAY is a blessing. On Ebay I don't play the bidding game. I set my price and go away. If I win I pay, If not.. Oh well.
Since I haven't talked my wife into going out yet, I can buy all kinds of very elegant items that one would only wear to a fancy affair. I get dressed to the nines each evening and love it. And the cost of the entire outfit is less than a mans dress shirt, so I am doubly happy. If I buy something I find that I don't like as much as I thought, It goes to the Thrift store donation pile, and I'm still only out a few bucks, and some other lady-in-the-making may enjoy it!
I rarely pay over $20 for any single item, dress, shoes, skirt, etc.
I do get suckered into cosmetics, but I am learning to buy better and not throw so much cheap stuff away.
As far as the price of time.
Bobbi always comes last. If Bob needs to work in the garden, on cars, just being a guy, Then thats what wins. But I look forward to rainy days so I can be pretty all day and help around the house, cleaning, cooking and checking makeup every 1/2 hour.
Life gets better every day!

[Cheryl T]

How could I ever put a price on Being Me??

I don't overspend on clothing and such and since my wife is my strongest supporter then there is no issue there. All things in moderation, but I have to be me or I am nothing.

[NicoleScott]

If you drop the single reference to CDing, your post could have been directed to GG's, or non-crossdressing men for that matter. It's not just appearance, but other facets of life as well (like sports and other entertainment, work, religion, etc.), that need limits, balance, perspective, ROI, etc.

[Tina B.]

I'm not a big spender, but if I want it I am going to get it. I don't have a boat, golf clubs, RC cars and Planes, a work shop full of expense power tools, or any other hobby that cost a lot.
The one place I do pamper myself, is when I shop for Tina. They say everyone needs a hobby, I gave up having one to spend my time and money crossdressing. I could give it up, but if I went looking for a new hobby, it would cost a lot more than a few dresses. If you don't have something in life to put a smile on your face,get off that wallet and find something!
As far as the time spent, I'm always there when the wife wants to do something Tina can't do, and any other time, Tina is welcome here. Wow, tina never talks about her self in the third person.
Tina B.
I almost forgot the most important part of the question, YES it is worth it!

[Chardonnay Merlot]

Its all trade-offs. I'm pretty active and I do a lot of stuff, so when I want to focus on one thing, I have to backup on other things.
In the last few months, I've put some resources into being the best Chardonnay I can be. I'm dialing it back now because now I have the wardrobe I want. I have good stores of the vital pieces. Its taken some investment and time.

Is it worth it?

I'll put it like this. Over the weekend I was walking out of a night spot around closing time. I was in skirt and nice top and white fishnet hose.

There was a nice cool breeze that night...and I could feel that breeze against shaved legs underneath my skirt.

Most. Feminine. Feeling. Ever.

Yes. It's worth it. :)

[jillleanne]

Absolutely worth the price. I have given to others all my life, still do really. I will be who I am. I have the time, I can afford it without sacrifice, and effort is simply mind over matter; I don't mind and it don't matter. If I was practical, I wouldn't own 40( + - ) pair of heels.
On the flip side, if one finds it necessary to budget their gender issues, that is a different story. Like anything else in their lives, it comes down to 'needs' vs. 'wants'. I recall many times not purchasing something because the cost exceeded my budget at the time. I am blessed to never worry about money again, all through hard work, careful planning and saving for this time in my life. We all must decide where to draw the line in our lives for the good of all we share with others.

[Stephanie Michelle]

There are times that I will dress and forgo some things that need to get done. But I will get them done. Dressing is something that I have to take when I can get it. It is not an option for most of us. I look at it this way. I have hobbies and play sports. The money I use for dressing just comes out of the budget of the hobbies or if I get some extra money for a side job. If I don't have the money I will not buy whether for drab mode or Stephanie's things. I also think that I save money by dressing cause it saves me from going to a therapist (usually). LOL

[zorianacd]

CDing is a very involved hobby. A lot of common sense can go out the window when you're passionate about a hobby. Everyone here spends what they're comfortable spending on their dressing. Of course this money can be spent in more altruistic ways. But I'm not robbing Peter to pay Paul. What I spend on dressing is after all financial obigations are met. I can look just fine for a lot less than I actually spend. A part of me enjoys buying designer labels because I get an ego boost from being able to fit into the same styles that celebrities wear. And it's not so much about passing for me. People will likely clock me. But if they say, "I know that's a guy, but he looks really put together", I would be thrilled.

[kimdl93]

Personally, I think that building a wardrobe that I can wear every day has been a good investment. If it all sat in the closet 350 days of the year, I'd probably feel differently.

[STACY B]

Not me ,,,Im one of the lucky ones ,,,My SO loves the shop an buy stuff . So thats our hobby together .So in short when we get some extra $$$ We piss it all away ,,,LOL,,, An thats the way we like it ..

[Lorileah]

IF it comes down to eating, keeping warm, and having a roof over my head, then I will really be concerned about what I spend on "Me". Since the money I spend right now on clothes, make up and such is discretionary (for now who knows later), I am good with what I buy. I rarely spend full price on anything and like has been mentioned earlier, I go to the sale racks.

As far as time, yes I feel guilty when I go out on the weekends. My house isn't as nice as it used to be (little pink houses made of ticky tack) but hen again it isn't a shambles either. I have decided that I need to be me and enjoy what little time I have left. 5 years ago I thought everyone would live to be a 100 I guess, that 50 (something) wasn't a risk except accidents. I know better now. I am going to go out with the wildest 8 second ride I can. I hope. I certainly do not want to be staring at the wall thinking "I wish I had done that". So the time I spend on me, after the last 50 years of trying to please everyone else) is well spent also.

[docrobbysherry]

I have truck loads of ladies stuff, Kate. But, I don't spend much for most of it. And, WHATEVER I spend in dollars, I find looking at pics of Sherry to be:

PRICE LESS!!!!

[Kate Simmons]

Thanks for the responses everyone. It seems that most feel that looking nice is well worth the time, money and effort expended to achieve it.:)

[terrianncd]

Everyone should know by now that I can't pass up a pair of shoes or anything else TerriAnn wants. But it makes me happy and complete and that is worth whatever price it takes. My job is stressful, life is stressful, Being two people in a single body is stressful. But when I can go downstairs and enter "TerriAnn's world" it's all worth the time and effort. And money.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Definitely worth the price. In the long run it might save me money in some areas. Yes the Laser and Electrolysis was expensive, but I will no longer ever have to worry about blowing money on those expensive male razors like Mach 3 etc. Also it requires I live a very healthy straight edged life style just to achieve the look so no money wasted on fast food, resturuants, alcohol, tobacco etc.

[Foxglove]

I don't have an SO or family I have to worry about, so I can afford to think about me. I'm lucky in that I don't really have expensive tastes. There's not much I want except books and CD's and those are cheap. So even though I'm not the richest person around, I can still spend a fair bit of my income on me. And it's worth every penny to me. What else would I spend it on that would mean more to me?

Annabelle