So you are in the public eye, but how comfortable are you really?

[Princess Chantal]

On the show "What Not To Wear" (the June 19th,2012 episode titled "Leigh Ann"), they asked Leigh Ann to describe her style. Her description was somewhat like many in the tg community would answer - "as easy and do not like to stand out when walking into a room, so I tend to wear things that just will help me to blend in a little bit".
Stacy London questioned why she doesn't like to stand out, in which Leigh Ann replied with that she is "not real confident in terms of her style. If people noticed me it would be because I am wearing the wrong thing so it is easier to wear something nondescript" and as Stacy mentioned "be safe".
Through out the show they captured several reasons why Leigh Ann had such an eye for an ultra casual wardrobe, I recommend giving the episode a watching as it was quite interesting.

Anyhoo, this episode generated me to ask these questions:

As a crossdresser are you confident and comfortable in your style choices (that may be somewhat eye catching) to strut around public without the fear of "looking silly"?

Are you comfortable with the possibility of being recognized as a crossdresser by others? If not, is the possibility of violent transphobic behaviours a major factor?

[Jessica86]

Violence is of no concern to me. I do try to "tone down" when out. Not every girl spends three hours in the restroom getting ready to go to the grocery store....lol. I'm kinda stuck anyway because I'm 6'06". I do fear I look silly, but never had a bad experience. I know it is just a matter of time before I do though.

[Sara Jessica]

What you are missing is that any woman can choose to tone it down, try to blend in, or whatever you want to call it but still be able to be absolutely chic and stylish. There is blending in and then there is utterly fading into the background.

[Babette]

As a crossdresser are you confident and comfortable in your style choices (that
may be somewhat eye catching) to strut around public without the fear of
"looking silly"?


Yes I'm quite comfortable with my style choices. As for looking silly, I don't think too many of my choices are that bad.


Are you comfortable with the possibility of being recognized as a crossdresser
by others? If not, is the possibility of violent transphobic behaviours a major
factor?

Being recognized by others hasn't stopped me yet. I realize that personal safety is important wherever I may go and regardless of presentation. Let's hope the possibility of harm never turns into reality! The assailant is going to feel really embarrased if they are whipped by a TG. :kickbutt:

Babette

[kimdl93]

Let me answer the second question first. I am fully resigned to the likelihood that I'll be recognized as a CDr by some others. The closer I get and the more I interact, the more likely that becomes. Violent behavior isn't an issue. I don't frequent places frequented by such neanderthals. In over a year, I've encountered no hostility of any kind and really only a few instances of apparent disapproval.

Now to the first question - I don't strut around in eye catching attire. I really do try to blend in. But I don't try to be drab, just fashionably casual when I'm out shopping, a bit dressier at clubs and restaurants.

[Cynthia Anne]

I go out to enjoy myself! Never do I give it a second thought weather I blend in or not! I'm not out to please anyone else! Hugs!

[Jenniferathome]

There is enough going against the possibility of passing that I choose to blend. The actual number of women wearing "flashy" clothing is quite low in my semi-rural setting. They are noticed. I do not fear violence of any kind. It is simple embarrassment that I want to avoid but also, I do not want the "wa" or harmony of the environment to be upset because of something I did. I am not out to inflict my freedom on others, I am out to enjoy it. I do not see a downside to blending in. I don't dress to attract in male mode either.

[carhill2mn]

Yes, I am "confident and comfortable" when I am out in public. My "style" is such that even though I am likely to be better dressed than most, I still do not "stand out". I have never had a situation where anyone has made any comments or done
anything to indicate that they were not accepting me as a woman.

[Melissa Rose]

Blending in does not mean being boring, bland or invisible. You can still be stylish and look great, but not in way that makes you really stand out. I spend a lot of time clothes shopping to make sure I meet that goal. I'm very comfortable and happy with my style.

I know sometimes I get read, but I do not think about it and it does not bother me if it happens. I've been in hundreds of mainstream venues and never encountered anything I would call a problem or causing fear. I've felt unsafe or threatened a few times, but it was not because I am trans. It was drunken or aggressive men acting in ways that would make almost any woman feel unsafe.

[sissystephanie]

As a crossdresser who is out dressed totally enfemme all the time, but without any makeup or wig on, I am very noticeable! And of course I do get noticed! Does it bother me? Not in the slightest! I am 80 years old and have been crossdressing since age 6! There is darn little that bothers me now! I always dress to please myself, and nobody else. If people don't like what I have on that is their problem, not mine!

[Phoebe Reece]

I am very confident and comfortable in my style choices. I choose outfits appropriate for the venue that I am going to, which may or may not result in my blending in. More often than not I am wearing something more dressy than the majority of the GG's around me. I often get compliments from GG's on my clothing choices. I am proud of who and what I am. I go out expecting to be recognized as a crossdresser and am usually surprised by the number of people that do not seem to notice that I am a crossdresser. I have fun being out regardless of being read or not.

[5150 Girl]

Well, I like to blend as anohter posted said, fear of vilence, but also and more because if I'm read, it takes somting away from why I dress in the first place. (I am a woman in my heart)
However, If I am read it's no biggie, as I belive the more common place the GBLT community makes ourselves, the more comon place we become, threby making us more acepted.

[Lorileah]

Anyhoo, this episode generated me to ask these questions:

As a crossdresser are you confident and comfortable in your style choices (that may be somewhat eye catching) to strut around public without the fear of "looking silly"? yes very much so. I have learned to own it.


Are you comfortable with the possibility of being recognized as a crossdresser by others? If not, is the possibility of violent transphobic behaviours a major factor?

If they cannot figure it out that is their problem. I have others who fear for me. I try very hard to not put myself, no matter what I am wearing, in a position where violence can occur. I realize that we cannot control this 100% but we can make it less likely. Thus I don't go to redneck bars and biker rallies.

[Wildaboutheels]

Comfort trumps everything in my world, so that's how I "dress" [although I have never worn a dress and won't EVER wear one] Style or "current fashion" simply holds no value for me either even back in first grade. And most people either don't notice or don't care. Or both. Either is fine by me.

Fear of any type? Nope.

[Lynn Marie]

I'm quite confident and comfortable in my style of dress. I make it a point to always look as good as I can. Am I recognized as a crossdresser? Absolutely, if you stop and look for a more than a casual glance. Hell, I'm 6'3" tall and the lowest heel I have is 2 inches. Of course I get noticed and made. Take a look at my Flickr site. Do I look like it bothers me?

[Nikki A.]

I wear what I feel comfortable in and that is appropriate for whereever I am. As long as I don't feel overdressed or underdressed . If I feel good in what I'm wearing I feel comfortable being in public. Now do I think I pass, no I don't, but if I think I did well presenting then I really don't care.

[Sandra1746]

I too wear comfortable clothing, most usually what I refer to as "plain Femme". Today I have on Fem jeans and a Danskin T-shirt; bright pink (I do like bright colors). I was buying an orange top at a nearby mall today and the SA remarked that not everyone would choose that bright color. My wife pointed to my shirt and said, "he would". We all got a good laugh out of that.

I usually choose unadorned tops for general wear, actually more colorful than my wife wears. I've also gone out in brightly patterned tops and never had any negative reactions. Mid afternoon and a shopping mall is a very safe venue though.

As long as you are friendly and not "creepy" you are going to be fine. Most people don't notice or care. BTW, I don't even try to pass.

Enjoy life,
Sandra1746

[Eryn]

I'm in my 50s and 6'2" so I normally dress to blend, but that doesn't mean that I can't wear a pretty top or skirt when I want to. Within the normal range of "blending" there is a lot of room to explore. What I don't do is wear sky-high heels, minis, or excessive décolletage (as if!).

Now, if I'm going to a dinner or event with other CDers in an accepting venue I will crank it up a bit. It's fun to get noticed in a Little Red Dress and strappy heels as long as you know that your appearance will be appreciated by all. That's also a feminine experience that I relish greatly.

[Kate Simmons]

I'm pretty confident in my own look and my abilities, including my ability to defend myself if need be. Those who tend to diss or degrade me more often than not end up looking like a fool. :battingeyelashes::)

[Annaliese2010]

...As a crossdresser are you confident and comfortable in your style choices (that may be somewhat eye catching)...Are you comfortable with the possibility of being recognized as a crossdresser by others? If not, is the possibility of violent transphobic behaviours a major factor?I just wear what appeals to me but strive to keep current by reading Cosmo & In Style. But within reason 'cause you can spend a fortune if you're so into style you feel you have to be absolutely current. Clothes & colors are forever changing, season to season, year to year.

I really am not That much 'other-oriented' so I don't worry about how I am perceived by some random unimportant person. I don't hang out in those kind of places where ppl become violent to each other, no matter the reason so that's never a concern.

[Contessa]

No I don't have too much confidence, I have enough to go out in public and most time I don't get noticed but yes I have. My style is that I want to look feminine. I try to wear only feminine looking tops. I do wear skirts and slacks. But they have to look feminine. I know I am a man in a dress I can't change that so I must be confident that everyone who sees me more or less thinks I look nice instead of I am just walking around in a dress. I have seen women(real GG's) I feel don't look as good as I do, the only thing they have going for them they are feminine. I am just trying to look good.

I have to wear lipstick to be feminine or at least eye liner or or eye shadow. Foundation is just to lessen or mask the masculine look. A GG can wear anything, I can't. So I am always confident but you must remember my proudest quote "I am never more naked than when crossdressed."

Tess

[Sally24]

When I first started going out en femme I was terrified of being read. I've since become much more comfortable with my female self. I feel attractive when dressed so as long as I look feminine I'm not so concerned that people realize I wasn't born female. I've slowly developed what I consider to be my own stylish look. I.prefer halter and wrap dresses. I try to make the most of my legs so although I do sometimes wear jeans for a more casual look, I usually wear dresses or pencil skirts. My wife used to pick out colors and styles for me but I now am quite confident in my skill to match colors, patterns and styles.

I always say that I dress to blend, not to be invisible.

[Kari Lynn Franks]

well I think alot of us worrie when we first go out. When I first went out I was terrified but I,ve been doing this thing for 6 years and now if someone laughs I just smile and keep going. The other day I was at the store and 2 young teens was following me while laughing out loud thinking I didn't hear them I turned around fast and they froze I smiled and said do your parents teach you that this is the way to act like young ladies? and smile and walk on in pease.

[AllieSF]

I have been comfortable going out since I first started dressing. I think it is my attitude that knows that I do not and will not ever really pass, only blend, and that if everyone is going to see me as a man in a dress and I still want to go out, I just need to step up to the table and get used to it. I occasionally see people look, maybe whisper to their companion something, probably about me, but I have been very successful in just not caring. As a result, I always have a great time out interacting and getting into long and sometimes very personal conversations with whomever I meet. I have been told that because of my personality, which is also based on my attitude when out dressed as a woman, I tend to disarm others who then just accept me as presented. Now, if I was shy or nervous, I might cause the complete opposite reaction. SO, I think that my success is based on the fact that I accept myself and own who I am and am not afraid of what others may think or say. I have expected the worst but mostly have received the best. I love it, and myself.

[PretzelGirl]

Read? I have been read more than all three Twilights! My clothing selections tend to be more conservative. I was always a conservative dresser as a guy and it carried o er. I am trying to push my limits some, but you can't change a person that much.

[April_Ligeia]

I have been comfortable being weird for decades. Here is evidence.

Qf3fnB9khzk

Darn it, trying to get this link to open on youtube. It can be found by searching under "witchlord walk with a demon."

This is a hint to my actual name but I think everyone here is trustworthy.

[Cheryl T]

I'm always aware of my surroundings when out and I'm certain that people have "read" me over the last 7 years that I've been venturing about.
I don't tailor my style to go unnoticed, I wear what makes me happy and what I'm comfortable in. I dress for where I'm going. No mini's and stiletto's to WalMart.
I'm just as at ease at the mall in capri's and a cute top as a denim skirt and blouse. If I'm going somewhere a bit fancier then of course a nice dress or skirt and blouse with heels are the rule.
All in all I dress for me and no one else.

[daviolin]

As a crossdresser who is out dressed totally enfemme all the time, but without any makeup or wig on, I am very noticeable! And of course I do get noticed! Does it bother me? Not in the slightest! I am 80 years old and have been crossdressing since age 6! There is darn little that bothers me now! I always dress to please myself, and nobody else. If people don't like what I have on that is their problem, not mine!
Hear! Hear! Steph. I like your attitude. Daviolin