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Vaerise
11-15-2005, 10:38 AM
Hi all,

Its good to see that many of our active posters are still around giving advice to new members coming here to seek help.
I have been really busy so I have not been checking back here on how everyone's doing.
I understand that all of us here have our own personal issues to deal with, so I guess I am back here again with an update and getting some advice from you all, the wiser and more experienced sisters.

I have been seeing this gender therapist for about 2 months or so. In all my past visits, I have related my crossdressing or gender-related issues. I have had hope that him being the expert would be able to diagnose me and put a label to me. Whether I am truly Transexual or not, as I do not believe myself to be. Since I do possess certain traits that I consider masculine. So far the doctor has been giving me anti-depressants to cope with my depression.

While I must admit the "happy pills" do work for me, it still does not stop the dsyphoria attacks, each time I see females, I secretly wish to be them. After the 2 months on anti-depressants and a particular event, I decided to take a chance.

My last visit I went into my therapist office, and told him that I am actually doing fine, and that I no longer feel as depressed. Instead of accepting the meds as normal, I asked him to start giving me a letter so I can get prescription for Hormones. He asked me a few questions on my timeframe and plan for transitioning and what I plan to do after my transition. Shortly after that he wrote me an authorization memo, allowing me to purchase hormones from the pharmacies.

I was rather surprised, I had originally thought that we needed to be evaluated for a long period of time before they finally let us start on hormones.
When he gave me the memo, I got the impression that gender therapists, arent actually there to tell us who we are. They are just there to help us understand who we think we are.

I understand the changes brought about by the hormones are irrevisible, but being hormones at last, allows me to begin on a path of self discovery.
If I am truly a woman living in a man's body, I would welcome the change. If I am just going overboard with this fantasy of wanting to be a woman, I think I will soon reject the changes that is happening to me.

I considered myself transgendered but not transexual, I am wondering if what I am doing is a rather stupid or foolish thing to do.

I have been on progynova for about a week and have not notice anything significantly different, in physical or my mental state. Maybe a little calmer but thats about it. And maybe a strange fondness of eating beancurds...

Comments sisters?

Julie
11-15-2005, 12:13 PM
The Standards of Care suggest three months of therapy before recommending HRT. The number of visits doesn't matter, which tells you the therapist only needs to rely on their personal evaluation of you. Also, the SOC is a guideline not hard and fast rules.

I'm not familiar with progynova or what hormones it contains but a week on anything won't have any effect on you. My doctor initially prescribes estradiol and spironolactane, an anti-androgen. That way the estrogen will be more effective. He starts off at very low doseages and gradually increases them until you reach the proper levels. This minimizes health risks.

One thing you should do ASAP is have blood work done and determine your testosterone and estrogen levels. You should also have them do other tests that determine if you have any health risks. I think my initial bloodwork had about 25-30 tests performed. Once your levels are determined the doctor can properly administer what meds you'll need and in what doesages so as to minimize any risk to you. You'll need to keep having blood work done, maybe every three months, until you reach the level where you need to be. After that it's done about once a year, less if you've established consistent results.

As far as is this right for you? Only you can answer that. I don't see a problem doing this as a test. That's what I initially wanted to do, test the waters. There are some effects that are irreversible but usually only after many months on HRT. Breast growth is one of them.

I strongly suggest you find a doctor who is knowledgable in dealing with transsexuals. It sounds from your post you were able to pick out what you wanted and that's not a good thing.

MandyTS
11-16-2005, 01:41 AM
I am not going to repeat what Julie said but it is all good.

Therapists are generally not there to diagnose you, but to interpret your feelings into a label that appears as a diagnosis. As you said they are there to help you understand your feelings, not create those feelings.

Some people know going into therapy. For me therapy is not defining who I am necessarily but answering all those questions that I have needed to ask for years.

Mandy

Vaerise
12-06-2005, 07:17 PM
I really appreciate the feedback Sisters! :)

I understand the risk that I am putting myself over by taking hormones. But I feel this is the only way I can be certain, if I do not like the changes that is occuring to me mentally and physically, I am sure I will stop taking the pills. I could not have the blood work done because the Endocrinologist that specialized in dealing with the Transgendered has passed away.

I was ask to go to a Gynaecologist for bloodwork :eek:


I strongly suggest you find a doctor who is knowledgable in dealing with transsexuals. It sounds from your post you were able to pick out what you wanted and that's not a good thing

Julie you sound like a very experienced sister, I am not really sure of what you mean when said the above. From your experience that is not a good thing?

Anyway its been nice to log in and check how things are going. Take cares!