Is it "wrong" that in order to CD we often wear our Significant Others clothes?

[closetcd17]

Lol.I just want opinions .I've seen some stuff/bills of rights around and I got the sense borrowing your SO clothes to wear without their permission is frowned upon.

I know like most CD's,I don't have alot of places to stash my own fems articles of clothing,so I supplement my SO's wardrobe a lot.I try not to rip or wrinkle anything,with luck in most instances.I even was the clothes secretly when I have borrowed them more than once!lol It makes me feel like a 'rat' sometimes sneaking around.

To GG's:Would you feel like your bf/husband betrayed or broke your trust in some minor way by using your clothes (skirts ,shorts,shirts,dresses,socks,undies) for him to CD?Let's assume like they already told you and you asked
"have you ever worn any of MY things?"
Would you be upset?Disgusted?Annoyed?Amused?

[Karren H]

no! its perfectly fine..... as long as no one knows.... its like a tree falling in the woods.... on the pope.... with a bear using the restroom near by.... if no catholics are there to hear it... no one gives a $hit.... except the bear.....

[Silentpartner GG SO]

Karen you are so funny!

I dont think its a capital offence in my book but I would prefer my husband to ask first - and I wouldnt want him wearing my undies - I wouldnt want anyone wearing my undies apart from me - they are a very personal thing. It wouldnt actually happen to us anyway because we are totally different sizes.

[Marleena]

Don't do it! Women have an uncanny ability to know if anything of theirs is disturbed even by a microscopic amount. Even if they don't confront you they know.:D Besides would you like anybody wearing your panties and putting them back in your drawer?

When you are a kid you don't have many sources for clothing so most of us have done it.

[Silentpartner GG SO]

yes you are absolutely right there Marleena, we DO know!

[Lorileah]

I wouldnt want anyone wearing my undies apart from me - they are a very personal thing. which is why they don't sell them at Goodwill ;)

I would never wear my SO's stuff without permission, well except her undies. They are the only thing that would fit anyway. I did accept hand me downs from my wife though. I still have a couple dresses that I will not part with but that is sentimental.

[Melissa Rose]

I would not wear a SOs clothing without permission. I find it a little disrespectful to do so behind their back.

[stacycoral]

I would have to agree about not wearing mySO clothes, she wears my heels all the time, and has let me have some clothes that will not fit her anymore, My favorite is a saltin babydoll she got at a brideshower, many moons ago, but still in wonderful condition. hugs.

[Marlana]

Honestly, I think the cd'ing starts with the undies and goes from there. As long as you're different sizes, not a problem. i wish I could ask my wife to borrow her clothes, but THAT'S not gonna happen.

[Jackiefl]

I value my life a lot. I will never wear any of my wifes clothes. After all these years i found out she can go from nice to b.... in 1/100th of a second! LOL

[Kate Simmons]

We need to take responsibility for what we do and also be willing to deal with any potential "fallout". Once trust is broken, it's sometimes hard to get it back.:straightface:

[Jolene Robertson]

I used to wear only the clothes she was getting rid of (before I came clean with her). After I came out of the closet she has offered anything that she has that I might want to wear is OK with her, only some things are too small (Tops mostly). Now she wants me to try on her wedding dress and she wants to wear a Tux, so I guess we'll be renting a tux one day. But if she is not on board it would be a violation I think.

[Nikki A.]

My wife knew but wasn't always accepting. However there were items we shared and I did have dibs on anything she tired of or if she bought something & decided that she didn't like it I had the option of keeping it before she returned it.
However intimates and cetain special pieces were off limits.

[BRANDYJ]

I have never worn my SO's clothes. I think it is an invasion of privacy and just wrong. I did not even wear my mother's or sister's clothes as a teen. Hand me downs that they will never wear again is fine. I agree with those that said "especially panties" Way to personal.

[TGMarla]

Getting your own stuff is the best policy. Besides, that way you can wear what you WANT to, rather than what's available!

[Jacqueline Winona]

Not an ideal way to dress, for the reasons stated above. If it's your only way to do it, it's still not good, but it's understandable, at least to me. the funny thing is my wife will borrow my pantyhose whenever she needs. :) And I don't have a problem with it, nor would I if it were underwear or anything else.

[Eryn]

I think that a lot of CDers start with items "borrowed" from those close to them, in my case my wife. I don't think that was right, I'm just stating a fact.

I admitted to her what I had done, she forgave me my trespasses, and gives me free rein over her wardrobe. She has the same privilege over mine. While each of us has a few items that look good on the other, we each have a different style.

One big no-no is underwear. Women are very sensitive, and rightly so, about them. A wise CDer buys her own.

[UNDERDRESSER]

I never have, though I'd love to be in a relationship where it was OK. I just remembered that I gave one SO some satiny briefs that I had bought, but they didn't fit me. She wasn't keen on the idea, but did take them. I never saw her wear them. ( pity )

If I had an SO that was cool with it, it would be the height of intimacy for me to be able to dress out of the same underwear drawer. I understand that some find that distasteful, but come on, you've joined your bodies together!

Maybe I'm just weird.

[Debglam]

Like touching the third rail in my house!

And so it is written: Go forth and explore your trans side, but woe unto you that doth weareth my clothing without express permission!

I can live with that. . .

182455

[Babeba]

I have given my SO permission to raid my closet for whatever fits her. I really like that she still has double checked to make sure I am still okay with it first.

Sometimes we have outfits we buy for good, that a certain way of washing or wearing too often is super frustrating to deal with. We like having control over some of the things in our life, clothing being one of them. Let's face it, you are all different sizes than your wives. Stretch is maybe not the best thing for those clothes.

[Noemi]

Karren, very very funny. I can see why you have a following here, I am becoming your fan as well. Your new avatar is pretty too.

This is a classic cd'er post.

No do not wear any else's ones clothes but your own. Unless of course you feel like wearing some else's clothes, than go ahead.

GG's might know, but not all the time, depends on how fastidious they are at keeping house.

I try on my step moms stuff sometimes when she is out of town and I am watering her plants, I do like a fahion show for myself, it is allot of fun...she has so many clothes, almost a hoarder...I seriously doubt if she knows. I wash them and put them back etc.....but
It does not feel right, plus I like my own clothes and have some pretty ones now.

I just saw the hottest GG in the supermarket. She had on leggings and a tight black top...I mean walking around in a cat suit, nemesis of Batman no doubt.
She was hot, wishing I was knocking out those leggings too(pout)....

♥
Noemi

[Di]

Sherlyn can wear anything of mine she wants and vise versa!

But if you are talking about....wearing the partners clothing when they do not know...or if they do not approve ... BIG NO NO.

Yes I am sure most start out that way borrowing...but buy your own.:D
Thats fun in itself!

[Mimi]

Eryn can wear anything she'd like from my closet, and she doesn't need to ask first, although she generally does. The only time she might not ask first is if she's going out dressed and I'm out of town, and she sees something of mine that would work great with an outfit. She knows that I won't mind. The only request I have (besides the obvious undies) is that if I've bought something for myself that I've picked out, I would like to be the first one to wear it. After I've worn it once, then I don't mind sharing it, but there is something special about wearing a brand new article of clothing. Of course I would return the same courtesy to her.

[StephanieDragg]

I figure we all started out that way, trying on mothers, sisters, or wives clothes.....then we dared to buy our own things later.... pretty certain that it is a natural coarse of events for us....now the table is turned and she may borrow my stuff and of coarse I don't mind at all

[Stephanie47]

which is why they don't sell them at Goodwill ;)



Actually, at one of my Goodwill stores they do sell previously worn panties (cleaned of course). Still, I would never buy them.
Yes, wives and mothers know exactly how and where they hung or folded their clothing. And, do NOT use their makeup too! That's worse than wearing their panties.

[Cally]

My SO is the coolest girl I have ever met and she would lend me anything of hers to wear just as she knows she can wear anything of mine, but I would never wear anything of hers without asking first. That is just one of those fundamental things.

[muzzy]

Funny you should raise this discussion atm cause my gg just wanted me to try this outfit on of hers(avatar pic)when I decided to browse this forum,she is a sharer xoxo

[Kathy4ever]

Don't you know that it is okay for them to wear our stuff but not okay to wear theirs.LOL. Since we are built different I would not want to wear her stuff. We will stretch it in different area and might not fit her right later. I like having my own cloths and displaying my style. Sometimes i like her style and sometimes I don't. Also what might look good on her might not look good on me. I know it is hard if you don't have a palace to hide. I guess you are saying also she is unaccepting so I suggest being very careful.

[Jillian Faith]

At one time wearing my wife's clothes was off limits. As she became more accepting she has become more open to sharing items that fit both of us, mostly skirts, shorts, skorts, some pants (her legs are longer than mine :sad: and of course purses). Unfortunately I'm larger framed on top so most of her tops and dresses are too small as well as her shoes:sad::sad:!

[gender_blender]

It's ok as long as they're aware that you're borrowing something.

It's not ok if you're stealing. Get your own clothing.

[Allsteamedup]

NO!NO!NO!NO! and how ever many more it taked to fill the line!

How many GGs contact a helpline because they know their stuff is being used??? The mistrust starts there and it is just not worth it for the cder.

Never mind the hygiene issue, most of us think twice before loaning to a girl-friend!!

I bought my career girl wardrobe before I was married, put it away for a pregnancy, came to get it out-all worn, ripped seams, semen all over, even my sanitary and swimwear used. I was devastated. Those clothes represented a time in my life when I was successful professionally and able to have clothes made to fit me. They were irreplaceable. I didn't just lose my clothes, I lost a part of my identity and the thought that someone I was in a marriage with could steal from me in that way was indefensible.

The only clothes I had were pregnancy ones, so people thought I was ill because I didn't wear my clothes again. I had a new baby, a cding husband I knew nothing about, and no financial means of replacing the clothes. A cder sent me a velvet dress and a Frank Usher evening dress he didn't need!!!!

Your partner's clothes are carefully chosen and bought by her for her. You keep your hands off them unless you expect some physical damage. That goes for her makeup, too.

What no-one has expressed here is the thrill you get from 'sharing' without her knowledge. Well, add to this the thrill of being found out-it's not pretty.

Buy your own!

[Mollyanne]

Its just like anything else, "If you"borrow" something without permission you are stealing so to speak, even if you put it back EXACTLY (HA HA HA) as you found it. If you teach a child to ask permission to take something are you immune from the same thing????? Bottom line here is: GET YOUR OWN THINGS AND LEAVE HERS ALONE!!!!!!

Molly

[JulieK1980]

I bought my career girl wardrobe before I was married, put it away for a pregnancy, came to get it out-all worn, ripped seams, semen all over, even my sanitary and swimwear used. I was devastated. Those clothes represented a time in my life when I was successful professionally and able to have clothes made to fit me. They were irreplaceable. I didn't just lose my clothes, I lost a part of my identity and the thought that someone I was in a marriage with could steal from me in that way was indefensible.


Crossdressers do stuff like this, and then they wonder we get labeled as perverts by society.

No, I do not think stealing your SO's clothes is okay, and calling it borrowing is just sugarcoating what is (IMO) extremely disrespectful. My wife and I share, but I would never take her stuff without asking. Sure a prepubescent teen could be forgiven for experimenting, but once you are an adult you should really know better. It's not difficult to shop for your own, and if you lack the courage, shop online.

[Claire Cook]

I had enough guilt feelings getting into my mom's closet and undies, and won't let that spread to my wife's. I do get her old clothes if I want -- she's lost weight and many of her old clothes don't fit her. But girls do share clothes, and I like Charlie's answer. Maybe your SO would ask "Would you like to try this on? I think would look good on you."

[Tina B.]

My wife and I are totally different sizes, and have totally different styles, so we have no clothing issues as far as sharing clothes, but we do share jewelry. She likes to use a red bead necklace of mine, but would never take it with out asking, and I would never get into her jewelry box with out her permission, Some of what is there is very sentimental to her, and she would not be happy if I messed with it without her permission. Of course it helps, that I dress with her blessings, and she has never said no you can't wear that.
Tina B.

[UNDERDRESSER]

NO!NO!NO!NO! and how ever many more it taked to fill the line!

How many GGs contact a helpline because they know their stuff is being used??? The mistrust starts there and it is just not worth it for the cder.

Never mind the hygiene issue, most of us think twice before loaning to a girl-friend!!

I bought my career girl wardrobe before I was married, put it away for a pregnancy, came to get it out-all worn, ripped seams, semen all over, even my sanitary and swimwear used. I was devastated. Those clothes represented a time in my life when I was successful professionally and able to have clothes made to fit me. They were irreplaceable. I didn't just lose my clothes, I lost a part of my identity and the thought that someone I was in a marriage with could steal from me in that way was indefensible.

The only clothes I had were pregnancy ones, so people thought I was ill because I didn't wear my clothes again. I had a new baby, a cding husband I knew nothing about, and no financial means of replacing the clothes. A cder sent me a velvet dress and a Frank Usher evening dress he didn't need!!!!

Your partner's clothes are carefully chosen and bought by her for her. You keep your hands off them unless you expect some physical damage. That goes for her makeup, too.

What no-one has expressed here is the thrill you get from 'sharing' without her knowledge. Well, add to this the thrill of being found out-it's not pretty.

Buy your own!This is very true, the bit about the thrill of forbidden activity especially.

As JodyCD says, doing this as a teen is one thing, ( still not right ) but as an adult you should be able to control yourself better.

[terrianncd]

Hmmm it's my wife that I catch wearing my clothes...

[Krististeph]

Let me ask this in answer to your question:

Is it wrong when our SO appropriates something of ours to wear? My wife is smaller than me, but she often likes some of my casual items (slinky tops as base layers, a thin cardigan, etc.) and asks if she can have them.

Is that wrong? Not in the least. If it is something i want to wear, I'll either get another or ask her if i can borrow it. The key here- is asking and respecting the other's boundries- couples are different everywhere- but in general, respecting you SO's stuff is a good idea. So ask, or if after the fact- wash and fold or hang it back up, and tell your SO you borrowed it. If they ask you not to- then find one of your own. No Problems!

[Lisa Gerrie]

Face it, when you wear underwear for any length of time you always leave something behind. That's kinda the point of underwear.

I wouldn't want to wear underwear that somebody else has worn, and I especially would not want to find out that I had been doing it, without my knowledge, for months or years. The last thing we want is for people to associate crossdressing with "dirty". Women have an extra biological motivation to stay clean down there, and are rightfully protective of their intimate clothing.

"They went through my underwear drawer" is almost a cliche' of privacy invasion!

BUY. YOUR. OWN.

-- Anne

[Janet Bern]

I did it at one time long ago. I really think it is wrong to do that.
Buy your own things. By the way, somehow women know if
someone put on their clothes.

[Stephenie S]

Besides the trust issue, there is a HUGE ick factor.

If you wear my underwear, keep it. I don't want it back. And you think I won't know? Sorry, we can ALWAYS tell.

S

[Vieja]

I think one should ask. It is only right and proper that you respect the privacy of your SO.

Also I dumped a big bag of panties at a Goodwill type establishment. I noticed that they sold out quickly.


Vieja

[Silentpartner GG SO]

Allsteamedup - that has made me feel rather ill

[Dawn cd]

Even if no one ever finds out, don't do it. It sets up a wall between you and your SO. A relationship that ought to be transparent becomes more opaque.

[Sam-antha]

.
.
.

Hers are hers - not yours - Yours are yours.

~Sam

[Foxglove]

no! its perfectly fine..... as long as no one knows.... its like a tree falling in the woods.... on the pope.... with a bear using the restroom near by.... if no catholics are there to hear it... no one gives a $hit.... except the bear.....

Isn't there something about a bullfrog being waterproof, too?


Don't do it! Women have an uncanny ability to know if anything of theirs is disturbed even by a microscopic amount. Even if they don't confront you they know.:D


yes you are absolutely right there Marleena, we DO know!

You see, this is what I've always said about women: they know stuff. Even if you think there's absolutely no way they could know it, they do. I've heard guys say that women are evil. I don't agree with that. But I do think they're dangerous. You mess with them at your peril.

As for me, back in the days when I was married, the wife and I would share stuff. We were close enough in size that we could generally get away with it. Mostly she'd borrow my dresses because mine were nicer than hers. As for undies, she didn't have anything that interested me. And I wouldn't borrow that sort of item anyway. But she would. She went away for a week one time, taking all my knickers with her (because she didn't happen to have any clean ones at the time and couldn't be bothered washing them). I was not pleased about that. I don't know if it made me dangerous, but it did give me some evil thoughts. For Pete's sake, if you want to borrow stuff, like ask, right? (And in this case I would have said no, which is probably why she didn't ask.)

[Sandra]

We share all clothing and that includes underwear, nothing wrong with that after all they are washed but I know about Nigella...those who SO's don't know about them..go buy your own.

[Bree-asaurus]

Not only will your SO find out, but when they do see that you've been LYING and DECEIVING them... s*** will hit the fan.

They're not your cloths, so unless you get permission from your wife, you're in the WRONG!

You're an adult. Put on your big boy or big girl panties and go get your own cloths.

[cindybabe]

Much better and safer to buy your own.My wife does ask me if i would like certain items she is throwing out,mainly shoes as we both take the same size,but i prefer to buy my own.

[carhill2mn]

It is "wrong" in the sense that no one likes to have someone else wear their things without permission. Doing so is also much more likely to cause you to be "discovered".

[UNDERDRESSER]

We share all clothing and that includes underwear, nothing wrong with that after all they are washed but I know about Nigella...those who SO's don't know about them..go buy your own.That's what I'm talking about, do some of you not do laundry? Seriously, I can understand the ick factor, but my whole point is, one assumes one has been intimate with ones SO?

If either party is not OK with it, then obviously, it's a NoNo, but if both are cool with it, then?......

I'm only talking about stuff that fits both, or has enough stretch/recovery that bagginess doesn't occur. A friend used to buy these nice fleece jackets, he used to get ticked when he saw the wife borrowing them. How shall i put it? The fronts of the jackets never fitted quite right after that.... :heehee:

[Esteafanie]

2 words; stretching and intimacy. Not to mention being caught!!! but I understand the inability to have you own, but let me tell you that for me, buying my own is part of the thrill!!! Best feeling ever.

Good luck, in my opinion, breach of trust.

[linda allen]

I wore my wife's clothes for years, usually out of the laundry basket so she wouldn't notice.

It's a long story and I've told it before so I won't repeat it, but now that she knows, she has given me some of her clothes that don't fit her anymore or she doesn't want.

I'm now to the point where we shop together and she will pick out a blouse or skirt and say to me "I guess you want one too?"

[Meg East]

I don't think it is a good idea to "borrow" your spouse's clothing. We each have our own. My wife will offer me her castoffs before she donates to Goodwill.

[Stitch]

I would be livid if I found out ANYONE wore my clothes without my permission. They are my things which I either bought myself for me or were given as presents specifically to me, so yes I'd be really angry if my SO wore my stuff without asking. I consider that stealing, even if you are going to put it back. I don't buy my clothes and make up for anyone else but myself. I worked hard to earn the money for my nice things, and I choose everything as a representation of myself. I'd consider it a betrayal of boundaries to just help yourself.

I don't care whether your my boyfriend, my best friend or my Gran, I'd expect you to ask, and if I said no I'd expect you to respect that too.

That being said if you ask I'm pretty cool with it. My mother frequently borrows my stuff, and if my boyfriend was a similar size to me I'd be fine if he asked, but taking without asking is a huge NO NO. Buy your own things if you want to wear them. You wouldn't borrow someone else's car without asking, or their laptop or phone, or paints or power tolls or whatever, so why would you take clothes without clearing it first?

[Silentpartner GG SO]

That's what I'm talking about, do some of you not do laundry? Seriously, I can understand the ick factor, but my whole point is, one assumes one has been intimate with ones SO?

If either party is not OK with it, then obviously, it's a NoNo, but if both are cool with it, then?......

I'm only talking about stuff that fits both, or has enough stretch/recovery that bagginess doesn't occur. A friend used to buy these nice fleece jackets, he used to get ticked when he saw the wife borrowing them. How shall i put it? The fronts of the jackets never fitted quite right after that.... :heehee:

oh yes, absolutely - if both parties are fine with it then there's nothing wrong with that is there? If my SO wanted to wer something of mine, and if fitted and he asked me first I'd have no problem with that unless it was something I really didnt want to share and in that case, he would respect my decision anyway.

[linda allen]

In some ways, I understand some of the negative responses here, but in reality, I think we all started crossdressing by wearing someone else's clothing. We didn't wake up one morning and decide to cross dress so we drove to Walmart and bought some panties and a bra, we saw them hanging or lying around the house and just wondered how they would feel if we put them on. That's how it started for me.

[Foxglove]

. . . we saw them hanging or lying around the house and just wondered how they would feel if we put them on. That's how it started for me.

That's the way it was with me, too, Linda--and never have I had a more acute moral dilemma. I must have agonized over it for almost five seconds. I don't always spend so much time on important decisions.

Annabelle

[Billiebluenose1878 GG]

We share all the clothes .... some fit Nikki and some nope ..Nikki is smaller in jeans so we got her some ...(new look do great jeans ) ....and i have ironically borrowed with or without knowledge Nikki,s male stuff ..... ;) :D :) xxxx

[SallyS]

When we first lived together, I'd wear her clothes (had no female items of my own back then), but most of her clothes where too tight:sad:

Now, just OCCASIONALLY. 20 or so years later a lot of her clothes are a bit loose on me ;).....but then I haven't given birth to 4 kids!

Is it wrong?.....well I'm sure some men have done a lot worse things that their SO's don't know about (not me :angel:)

I have enough of my own womens clothes not to realy need to wear the wife's....unless she picks up an occasional new dress I've taken a fancy to:D