Oops! may be outed

[TiffanyGreene]

Well, I bought some sandals yesterday at a local shoe store chain. They were not the ones I really wanted, I went in there for some really cute wedges. I asked the SA where they were located, and showed her a picture on my Iphone. She informed me that they had just shipped them all away to another store just the day before! DRAT! I bought some different sandals, and wasn't really happy with them. I found the exact pair and size I wanted in the store near where I live (They have online size locator at the store website). This was the only store listed, and there were several last week. Figured I better get them before I can't find them anymore. So, today, I go to the store that has them. As soon as I walk in, I am greeted by the mother of one of the kids on my son's ball team, who just started working there yesterday. Here I am, with a bag in hand, she asks how I am today and says my name. I didn't know what to say, I just stammered out " I need to exchange some shoes". I actually thought about turning and walking right back out the door, but that would only make matters worse. I remained calm, and went ahead to the counter and showed the SA the picture and told her I needed those shoes in a size 11. The girl I know remained up front for a few minutes. Well, they found the shoes, and of course, they had to take them out of the box, hold them up in the air to check the size, and leave them out on the counter for all to see while she proceeded to check the size of the pair I was returning. And, of course, while both pairs of shoes were on the table, another SA needed help with an exchange. I felt like the whole world was watching. By this point, I had lost track of the girl I know. She could have been standing behind me for all I know. I did see her again on the way out. By this time I had regained composure, and she said, "wow, that was quick. Did you get what you came for?" I replied yes, and proceeded to talk about her kid and the upcoming ball season. She seemed only slightly weirded out, could have been me overthinking it I guess. Also, this girl is VERY pretty, enough to make me a little flustered on a regular day at the ball park. I am in the closet, and have no plans to go outside the closet, anytime soon. Nobody knows of my hobby. This girl knows my wife (although not very well, they do have each other's phone numbers). This job is also her second job, just started yesterday (lucky me). She is a teacher at the school where my daughter attends. It is very likely that my daughter will have her for a teacher.

I know this post sounds like rambling, and it is...and I am. I just needed to tell someone, and have nobody to tell in real life. Now I guess I just wait and see what happens. Maybe nothing. Maybe she will ask my wife what I was doing buying some very cute high heel wedges (in an 11). Maybe she knows it all now, and can keep a secret. Maybe the rest of the ball team parents know now.

I guess this is the worst experience I have had relating to this hobby. Looking back, the only thing that would have made it worse is me bolting through the door (my first thought). That would have left a lot of weird questions. I thought about only returning the shoes I didn't want, and forget about getting the wedges. But they were the last store around that had them in stock, and I REALLY wanted them!

On the bright side, the new wedges are really cute, and I really like them. I am wearing them as I type this!

You can see the shoes here, if interested.
http://www.rackroomshoes.com/product/limelight/braxton/1505.215302.html

Thanks for listening,
Tiffany

[Marleena]

Cute shoes!!

Well as scary as that was if the other SA's don't know they were for you I think you're okay. You handled it properly. If it comes up you can easily say they were a gift for a relative of yours. Time to find another store.:)

[Jacqueline Winona]

I think you're certainly out to her (unless the hsoes could concievably be for someone else that she knows), but you handled it well. She likely won't care if she thinks you don't care. :)

[ronda]

well they are cute shoes i would buy a pair but they don't come in my size.

[sandra-leigh]

I couldn't tell from this whether your wife already knows or not?

[Karren H]

Your toast.... Might as well confess now before she find out from everyone else...

[Sara Jessica]

I am in the closet, and have no plans to go outside the closet, anytime soon.

Ummmm, newsflash, you were in the closet.

Marleena suggested a story. Yep, that might make you feel better but really, a gift? Not gonna fly so well.

Karren's comment about a common breakfast food is pretty much right on. Look at the bright side though, at least you weren't trying on the shoes!!!

[PretzelGirl]

I don't think we are always outed as easily as it seems. In the beginning of Sue (the year 1 CD), I got a lot of my shoes at Payless as you seem to be. Most of the time was the same young lady. I never told her who they were for and she never asked. By we talked a lot and it was very pleasant. Aftere months of not seeing her, I went to a Subway and she was there. She looked at me and said "size 12 for your daughter?". Some people are not going to jump to thinking CD.

[Marleena]

Ummmm, newsflash, you were in the closet.

Marleena suggested a story. Yep, that might make you feel better but really, a gift? Not gonna fly so well.

Karren's comment about a common breakfast food is pretty much right on. Look at the bright side though, at least you weren't trying on the shoes!!!

Oops.. I missed the wife doesn't know part.

[TiffanyGreene]

Marleena - Yes, I agree, time to find another store! I wouldn't have gone to that particular store, being so close to home, except, they were the last store around to have them in stock! BTW, I just checked online, they have no more sz 11s near me (guess I got the last pair)!!

Janice - I certainly tried to appear not to care. I had two things going against me here. 1) the shoes, and 2) this particular girl always gets me a little flustered to begin with. Maybe I don't show it, but I knew it. Actually, after I got over the initial shock, I think I may have acted pretty normal...considering the circumstances.

Ronda - I consider myself lucky to have size 11 feet. Seems you can still go to a normal store and get some nice shoes!

Sandra-Leigh - The answer to that is yes....and no. I told her over 10 years ago that I fancied high heels, and could walk in them better than she could. She was accepting then (I thought so anyway), and just asked that she didn't have to see it...and I was (and still am) ok with that. Since that time, its been don't ask dont tell. Soooo...... I guess she remembers that talk. She did watch me walk in heels one time, to prove to her that I wasn't kidding around.

Karren - That would make things much easier - - or harder, guess it depends... :)

Sara - True, it would have left no doubt if I had been actually trying them on. I have been known to do that from time to time, just not in any stores within 100 miles from home! As far as a gift, I have actually bought my wife many pairs of shoes over the years. She used to only buy from Walmart and Payless, just trying to save money. I bought her nice shoes, and she has taken a liking to Nine West.

Sue - I am hoping this is the outcome here. If you met me on the street in everyday work clothes, you would never figure me to be a person that loves high heels and dresses.

Whatever the outcome, I can't change it now. Besides, I am really loving these shoes...I have only worn heels, and this is my first pair of wedges -- I ventured out into the grass outside earlier, and didnt sink! Amazing.

Tiff

[Cynthia Anne]

May I suggest you go back to the same store and try on a pair of heels! In this way you can lose any doubt weather you have been outed or not!:D Hugs!

[Michelle 51]

I wouldn't worry too much although we all seem to over things like that.The shoes are adorable.Worth the risk for sure...

[kimdl93]

Yeah, you were nervous and flustered...so as a result probably picked up a vibe that really wasn't there. I doubt she paid much attention to what size the shoes were. So relax.

[Shelby]

I've had situations almost like that. I shop at a nearby VS and of course I recognize a few of that SA's there. This one lady has helped me select bras before and knows of my cding. Then this spring while doing my supervising duties at a high school graduation, I see her walking around - gulp! There I am in a official capacity with a nametag and I slink into the background. She didn't see me but who would of thought I'd see her at this event. We all have close calls, but it sounds like you did well. There is an old saying, "if you act like you know what you are doing, no one will question you."

[Sara Jessica]

I've had situations almost like that. I shop at a nearby VS and of course I recognize a few of that SA's there. This one lady has helped me select bras before and knows of my cding. Then this spring while doing my supervising duties at a high school graduation, I see her walking around - gulp! There I am in a official capacity with a nametag and I slink into the background. She didn't see me but who would of thought I'd see her at this event. We all have close calls, but it sounds like you did well. There is an old saying, "if you act like you know what you are doing, no one will question you."

I have been pretty bold (or is that careless or stupid?) within my circle of comfort...the area around home and work where I am unlikely to present as female. Yet within that circle which is where I spend 95+% of my life, how can I resist partaking in indulging myself, whether we're talking about clothing, shoes, makeup, etc. Not to mention the fact that if given the opportunity, I'm usually pretty quick to be honest about the fact I'm shopping for ME. So your tale Shelby speaks to one of my few "fears", that I will bump into someone in a social situation who is aware of my true nature. However, it's certainly not something that I dwell upon, just a nagging awareness. And I even have standing agreements with some SA's that if they see me anywhere, they don't know me.

[Jill Devine]

Yeah, you were nervous and flustered...so as a result probably picked up a vibe that really wasn't there. I doubt she paid much attention to what size the shoes were. So relax.

Size 11 shoes are hard to miss compared to the regular sizes. The good news is that she doesn't know the facts and probably will never ask.
:-)

[TiffanyGreene]

Thanks to everyone for your replies. Now I have had a few days to mull it over, and decided I am just not gonna worry about it. I am now almost glad for the experience, it had taught me some things. 1) Don't shop near home if you don't want people to find out. PERIOD. 2) Life has enough problems without having to worry about something I cant change. 3) This is my first pair of wedge heels, boy I have been missing out. Love them! wore them for several hours today, inside and outside. Comfy, sturdy, and a little sexy. Will be buying more wedge heels now. 4) this is probably the biggest thing I have been thinking about. My wife knows about me wearing heels, told her that years ago. DADT, she may think I have quit. I am trying to figure out the best way to go about telling her everything, I am tired of hiding it from her. I DID manage to tell her tonight that I need a fingernail kit, to keep everything neat, trim, and shaped up. She didn't seem shocked at all. I think she has already noticed me spending much more time on my nails now, much like she does. Thanks, yall!