How high are YOUR "standards" when you CD?

[closetcd17]

Okay,I'll start by describing my own OCD-ness (is that a word,lol) when it comes to me CDing.
I like and feel like I have to look like a girl;passing is my goal,but since I never leave the house,I'm happy enough to resemble a pretty/cute woman with more masculine features (there are plenty of GG's who fit that bill!).

And when I say 'look like a girl',I mean I do almost anything within reason to obliterate my male secondary sexual characteristics (body hair,FACIAL hair,broad looking shoulders,hair styling),and heighten or create female ones via make up (especially for my skin ,eyes and lips).

And,cards on the table...I have felt myself get super bummed out when I can see a shadow on my chin in the mirror,or if an outfit is so unflattering in appearance but not necessarily textures (who can't just love all the textures of women's clothes?).

Sometimes, I get the urge to dress,and say for instance I just shaved my face yesterday morning and its too soon to do so again without consequences (cuts,rashes),I just kinda pout and give up and go about the next hour or so in a bit of a slump:/ I'll just look in the mirror and what ends up happening on those occasions is I'll just get this nagging "inner monologue" in my mind that says stuff like 'yeee-ugh'. 'bearded lady' ,'rocky horror', and 'Dude in Drag'....all of which kind of just makes me feel stupid/ridiculous for wanting to try that day.I just ,like, FEEL too ugly/manly to CD that day/instance and just give up then.

I think sometimes that like maybe I'm still a little embarrassed by how unusual my habit is in comparison to "normal" men.And other times I feel like if I am going to CD,it had better be something "worth the while" (passing or near pass) since I don't want to remind myself more of how much of a "freak" I am by having a goatee ,makeup and a cute woman's outfit when I look in the mirror.
(which again,when I do CD, I SHAVE facial hair off!)
It's almost like I want to fool myself...which is odd when I say that out-loud,lol.

Does anyone else get like this?Or something relate-able?


P.S* If I need to hone down my question it might be this:

"Do you all get upset by what you percieve to be "imperfections" and "giveaways" while you CD so much so that you feel like a fool for even bothering to try?"

P.P.S:These are all just my perspectives,I am NOT hatin' on anyone who likes/enjoys gender-blends,NOT altering there male secondary characteristics and/ or other paths;just FYI!;x

[Diana Bain]

I have to admire you. I don't think I could get past the "goatee" looking in the mirror...but welcome to the forum.

[Kate Simmons]

Well I do have my own "standards of excellence" for going en femme Hon as I'm sure many of us do. I don't get too obsessive with it though as I go to the club to dance and socialize. If it works for me, I figure it's good enough.:)

[kimdl93]

Sure. All the time in fact. My first inclination as I do my makeup is to give up and put on a t shirt and jeans. But I stick with it and do what I can with what nature has provided. I choose my clothes to try to understate the male attributes and emphasize what sm my better qualities. But I shoot a little lower than pretty or cute. I'd be thrilled to be considered somewhat attractive and satisfied with not scary.

[sissystephanie]

My standards have always been to look the best that I can, no matter what I am wearing! Thus, being a CD does not change my standards in any way. However, since my dear wife passed away 7 years ago becoming Stephanie has changed. I am very poor with makeup and wigs, so my wife always did that. Now that she is gone, I dress as Stephanie but go out looking like the man that I am. Never have had a problem doing so, and will continue to do it as long as my health allows.

BTW, I think my personal standards are quite high!

[Jolene Robertson]

Mostly I like to look like a lady I would look at and say "she is attractive". I don't always put everything on like eyeliner & nail polish, it is too hard to get off and since the rest of my family does not know so it is a treat to get completely done up. Otherwise I feel if it's worth doing then do it right. I could never pass but it is fun and exciting trying to achieve that standard.

[sandra-leigh]

I try to look human. :)

[daviolin]

If I have an outing to attend as Daviolin. It gets really stupid around the house. Its a all day afair getting ready. You would think I was a teenager getting ready for her first date with the cutest guy in school. My wife just rolls her eyes and leaves me alone. But thats half the fun of being a cd. getting ready. Daviolin

[Karren H]

I have high standards in every thing I do! And my facial hair went away almost a decade ago... Don't miss it one bit...

[closetcd17]

...and my facial hair went away almost a decade ago... Don't miss it one bit...

Are you serious?How did it just "go away"? Was there like some cream or supplement you took to accomplish this?
Please ,please,please:details!

[Melissa Rose]

We will always be critical of ourselves and focus on our perceived flaws and shortcomings. For everything you fix or improve, you find something else to hate and focus on. It is human nature. It some cases, the flaw or problem is not fixable. Dwelling on it will only drive you crazy or make you depressed. Fix what you can, and find a way to accept and deal with what you can't fix.

"Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do." John Wooden

[TeresaL]

Pretty much duplicates my experience. Glad I no longer have the goatee though. At my age, FFS would be needed to get to get the illusion needed to pass. It may not happen in this life though.

In the last life, I was a woman and didn't worry about such trivia. The connection to that life makes me cross dress. It's like home and a warm hug. (I wish there was some truth to that story). The part about feeling at home and a warm hug is true however).

[Lynn Marie]

I'm sorry, but I don't get the post. Are you telling us that you hate the way you look and you are still wearing a goatee? Isn't that sort of like self-mutilation? You don't like the way you look, but you refuse to fix the problem. And the problem is so easy to fix. Shave the damn thing off and tell everyone that it makes you more kissable. Then go out and get some kisses like a real man! It works really well, I did it and I'm only 1/2 a real man!

[carhill2mn]

My "standards" are to always look good enough that I could go out in public at any time and be accepted as a woman.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi C-17, If I can't dress and look presentable then it's not worth getting dressed.

[AmandaM]

I have to be 100%. I accept nothing less. It can be a burden though.

[Sophie_C]

ClosetCD, you're really not taking the right perspective on this. For most girls to truly pass (especially from an OCD-perspective), you need to either (A) fully transition pre-puberty, or (B) have tons of work done, including some FFS. And, even with that, there may be unchangeable things like hand size which you can't undo. So, unless you're willing to go all the way, accept that you'll be read as a "tranny" and just own it. Don't apologize, just be yourself, feminine as you are, and as open and educational as ever.

I really wish "My Transsexual Summer (http://www.channel4.com/programmes/my-transsexual-summer/)" was fully online, but the episode where they go to the pub is the BEST example I have ever seen of doing this right. When they go out, Donna Whitbread just owns it, tells people about being trans, rocks it out, is funny and by the end of the night even the old timers are happy and having a great time with her. THAT'S how you handle it, and that's how everything is best. Here's something that's a close second, an example of where they go bowling on the same show, and she did it pretty much in the same spirit:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VYtFP-RYvg

[Antoinette]

My standards are very high. There are some features of my male side that may hinder my overall femme look and that's my arms. I get self concsious because they've got a bit of definition and on hot days my veins are just ridiculously visible. Over all though I do all I can to look like a regular everyday girl. From the opinions I've gotten I've been doing a pretty good job. If your own gf doesn't even recognize you then I guess it worked, right? Lol

[Ms Mira]

My standard, always, is to feel feminine. Usually, the better a job I do at dressing myself up, the more feminine I feel. But sometimes it doesn't matter so much. *shrug*

[Jacqueline Winona]

I just try to do the best I can, like I do with everything else. I'm pretty forgiving about alot because I do this only in private and honestly have no reason to expect to be very good at makeup and some other things.

[Stephanie47]

I know I will never pass due to my masculine face and male size. I just do not get too close to the mirror, and, look from the neck down. As a fan wearing dresses I make sure I always look attractive. The same goes for male mode. No reason to look like you just worked a sweaty ten hour shift unless you just worked a sweaty ten hour shift.

[Brittany CD]

My standard is just to be a normal girl. I aspire to just be the everyday girl

[Tasha McIntyre]

When I first started to hit she shopping malls my standards were very high, bordering on obsessive. My goal was to blend in, not to stand out so I thought everything had to be perfect.....hair, nails, face, outfit - the works. And I was very very conscious of everything and everyone around me.

After several outtings I realised that the general population didn't really give a toss. Sure I got my share of :eek:, but I also realised that I didn't need to "be perfection" every time I stepped out.

I won't go out looking a mess, but neat and presentable is good enough for me now.

Tash :)

[Vickie_CDTV]

I am never completely happy with how I look when I am dressed, but that is true in much of what I do in life and I am a bit of a perfectionist; no matter how well I do something, I always feel I could do it better.

[Adele83uk]

I personally just enjoy being 'dressed'. It makes me feel good and I don't spend ages agonizing about trying to pass as it would take the fun out of it for me. I have only recently come out to my SO though so I'm trying to take it slow and not freak her out by going completley en femme. I guess once I do manage to get my act together and get happy with my look that will become some kind of standard that I will probably try to maintain and even improve upon each time I dress.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Hmmm Interesting ? or two.

Heck. All Jos said to me was when your out dress nicely or eligent, well i have many lovely clothes & Jos is happy with those though i did buy 3 sets that were, not as nice when i got them so sissors sewing machine & if i could not make some thing better of them well rag bin . mind you iv made sewn over 14 sets or outfits not includeing my day wear. that are nice so wev allmost got every thing right,

As to a set standerd im a woman i dont have to prove or conform to any one else so no i dont set any standereds as such or have to look a certin way to fit in , there is the old you have to pass or blend in detail does not work for this kid , any way being allmost 65 do i have to no i work on acceptance & thats all i need.

...noeleena...

[MelanieB]

I recognised many years ago I was never going to be the spitting image of Marilyn Monroe

I know where your coming from with wanting to look your best, but, really thats all you can hope for, the main thing is to simply enjoy what you do and accept any short comings in what you cant achieve

Dont worry about not being like normal men, Ive met hundreds of them in my life, maybe more, and everyone has been different, same with the women I've met

There is no such thing as "normal" ....youve just gotta be yourself

You say you only stay indoors and have no intention of going out, so....... sit back, relax and have fun doing what you do

[Beverley Sims]

I have to present as a woman when dressed.
That is what it is all about, isn't it?

[Marlana]

Since I never leave the house while dressed, I try to look the best I can. I have very limited product to work with, no wigs, and I'm not really good with getting the make-up right. So if I look good in a shaded room, well, that's gonna have to be good enough for the time being.

[Frédérique]

How high are YOUR "standards" when you CD? I like and feel like I have to look like a girl;passing is my goal, but since I never leave the house, I'm happy enough to resemble a pretty/cute woman with more masculine features (there are plenty of GG's who fit that bill!).Do you all get upset by what you perceive to be "imperfections" and "giveaways" while you CD so much so that you feel like a fool for even bothering to try?

I have relatively high standards, complicated by OCD and a need to make each “show” bigger and better. Nowadays a jaunt into the real world requires as much preparation as D-Day, if I am to pass with any degree of certainty. I over-think everything, so I guess that means I have high standards. The thing is, I used to dress up about 50% at best, a kind of semi-serious crossdressing where I could feel comfortable, but this graduated to 100% CD, becoming a full-fledged transvestite. This requires some effort and planning, also factoring in a keen desire to look as realistic as possible, dress my age, and not insult the gender I am attempting to emulate (or myself). I do the best I can, under the circumstances – I may look quite passable, but because I’m on my own I have nothing (or nobody) to compare myself to. As such, I might over-do it a bit. If I fail, I don’t get upset – I just set my mind to the task of trying again, trying to reach the high standards I have set for myself…

PS – LOVE the shota avatar! :battingeyelashes:

[NicoleScott]

"Do you all get upset by what you percieve to be "imperfections" and "giveaways" while you CD so much so that you feel like a fool for even bothering to try?"

No. I'm pretty sure that if I had no "imperfections" and "giveaways" that I would be seen as somewhat girly when not in girl mode. Since I enjoy being a guy and spend most of my time in guy mode, I have to accept the giveaways and imperfections that appear when in girl mode.. But look, I know many GG's with less than perfect bodies and faces that I think are very feminine, pretty, and sexy.
I go out, but stay in more, and my transformation goal isn't to pass, but to achieve the look I'm aiming for. And to please just me.