I feel I have to tell my gf this

[Antoinette]

So I went out last night with a couple of friends and we were out drinking. Anyways I ran into a TG who found me very attractive. We spoke for a bit which was cool. Maybe about 5 mins after we spoke I get up to go to the bathroom (was feeling a bit tipsy) and the same person was walking ahead of me. They turn around, see me, smile and then kisses me on the lips! :eek: There was no tongue(thankfully!) and it was pretty quick. It took me by surprise to where I didn't know what to think (as a stumble my way to the bathroom). The thing is I've never had a guy kiss me before. It's not cheating right? I would never cheat on anyone or even attempt to. I'd hate myself if it counts as cheating. Should this be something I tell her?

[mikiSJ]

I wouldn't make too much out of this. You didn't ask for it, you didn't reciprocate, and you didn't cheat on anyone. It wasn't fair of this person to do this to you.

If you are very comfortable with your girl friend, tell her, I think she'll understand. If you are not comfortable in your relationship, let it go.

Good luck!

[mbmeen12]

Do you love your GG? Does she know and support through tick and thin? If you answer yes/yes then explain exactly what you wrote here of the experience. The TG approached you and you thought she was saying good night/good bye/thx for great evening and bam surprise, no cheek peck but she caught you on the lips. It is easier to tell one truth than 1000 lies... Kara

[Sophistic8d_grl]

Kara: You took the words right out of my mouth! So, not only do I echo the sentiments stated in her reply, Antoinette, but I applaud her letting the truth stand for itself. I also would like to point out how you chose to label this post: "I feel I have to tell my gf this". You already knew what the right thing to do was when you wrote this. How would you feel if the same thing happened to her and she kept it from you for any reason(s)? I have come to believe that when you're in a committed relationship, you owe it to the other person to be able come to their own conclusions about any given situation. This is hard, as we often have our own outcome which we strive for or we don't want to hurt their feelings. None of us can predict how she'll take react (just as none of us know whether things truly happened as you described), but I believe you start down a slippery slope once you consciously choose to omit some part of your experience. Consider reflecting on how you felt about the kiss, about being found attractive and how this coincides with how you present yourself and this aspect of your life to your gf. Even if you enjoyed it, if it happened as you described, I personally wouldn't consider it cheating. But I'm not the one that matters. If you value her feelings as much as or more than your own, and she's worth the risk of loss to maintain an honest relationship, then respect her enough to allow her to make up her mind how she feels about this.

Best Regards~

[Antoinette]

:) thanks all of you for the responses. It wouldn't be fair to keep it from her for any reason. I'll tell her about it when I speak to her.

[Beverley Sims]

Certainly tell your girlfriend, that is being honest.
On the lighter side you may both be able to see the funny side of the incident.
Don't take it too seriously, and think, someone found you attractive.
That's a plus.:)

[Mollyanne]

I think its REALLY noble of you to adhere to such a high standard of "truth" but I also feel that in this case its not necessary; why you ask, well for one you were kinda' taken advantage of(not your fault), second this was just sort of a "thank you" for your friendliness and third you did not cheat. This is just my opinion and how I am reacting to the situation.

Molly

[ronda]

i agree with Kara and Sophi

[Marleena]

I don't think you need to say anything Antoinette. You did nothing wrong and did not reciprocate. Why worry your GF about a non event? She just might worry each time you go out with your friends.

[Kaz]

I agree with Marleena. This is a non-event that could become a big event if you tell your gf. If you want to take it further, then it becomes an issue to discuss.

[anonymousinmaryland]

I agree with Marleena. A non event gettin' blown out of proportion. It was a nice moment (maybe, for you, and a complement, and it makes you smiley and all) but still a non-event, a non-cheating issue.

[BRANDYJ]

I too agree with Marleena. What you told us was something that happened to you. You did not reciprocate or even knew this kiss was coming. Why bring it up. You took no action that can even remotely be called cheating. No reason to tell your girlfriend and get her to think that there may be more to it, or that you are hinting that you want this to happen and are telling her to feel her out on it. Let it go and forget it.

[Amanda22]

You don't need to say anything because you didn't do anything wrong. It happened to you without your consent. There's nothing to confess.

[kimdl93]

Not even remotely close to cheating. The other person acted impulsively and it happened. No biggie. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
,
I was once involve in an affair. Believe me, i knew darn well when i crossed the line and my conscience tormented me the whole time.

[Silentpartner GG SO]

tell or not tell, thats up to you but I think if you do tell her its going to be more about how you tell her, how you word it etc. If it were me I'd just say something like, "..... and when I got up to go he went and kissed me smack on the lips, the cheeky monkey! took me quite by surprise....." and make it almost a joke.

If you make a big deal of it, your GF might think there is more to it than you're letting on -

[Lorileah]

It's not cheating right? I would never cheat on anyone or even attempt to. I'd hate myself if it counts as cheating. Should this be something I tell her?

I would say it is against the rules. So cheating may fit.

Look, I have kissed people on the cheek and on the lips in greeting. They are what we call "friends" out west. This was a stranger and she violated the rules of the game and tried to get you to violate them too. This time it is a minor infraction, yellow card as they say. You didn't follow through so, no harm no foul this time. And what would you gain by telling? You didn't do anything, just a victim of circumstance.

So you are on report, don't let it happen again :)

[busker]

yeah, if you were out dressed and your GF knows you dress. Otherwise I understand your query.

[Antoinette]

So things took a major left turn. So it turns out my so called friend who I went to this club with tells my girlfriend that we kissed (definitely not the same person I mentioned before). Before I could even tell her about my day she brings that up. They were at this club that he promotes at (not the same one) where he told her this. I know for a fact that never ever happened. My girlfriend was quite pissed after hearing that. So according to him I attempted to kiss him and he had to push me away. Granted we were drinking but surely not to the point of losing all self control. My main problem is, if he's supposed to be my friend and something like that made him feel weird (he's gay btw) or whatever shouldn't he come to me about it and not go straight to my girlfriend. Hearing that really got me frustrated. But I explained everything that happened thaat day from start to finish. She feels as if I'm not being very honest with her. I've never had any reason to hide anything from her, hell she was the first to know that I crossdress! To get to the bottom of this I'm going to confront my "friend". This here may be an end to a friendship. That's gotta be the worst thing someone who's supposed to be a friend would do. I'm sorry if I'm dragging this on and I hope this post makes sense, but I'm extremely frustrated.

[Jill Devine]

That's not a friend then! He is toxic and obviously trying to destroy your relationship. Cut him out of your life.

[Jill Devine]

That's not a friend then! He is toxic and obviously trying to destroy your relationship. Cut him out of your life.

And BTW: now is not going to be a good time to mention that other unexpected kiss. You will be digging a hole you don't deserve.

[Mistybtm]

I don't think you need to say anything Antoinette. You did nothing wrong and did not reciprocate. Why worry your GF about a non event? She just might worry each time you go out with your friends.

I have to agree here why bring on A problem that does not exsist. oops to late you been rated out all ready I would loose the so called friend.

[daviolin]

Just let the sleeping dog lie. It isn;t like you promoted it yourself. Think of it as all in fun. Daviolin

[Marleena]

So things took a major left turn. So it turns out my so called friend who I went to this club with tells my girlfriend that we kissed (definitely not the same person I mentioned before). Before I could even tell her about my day she brings that up. They were at this club that he promotes at (not the same one) where he told her this. I know for a fact that never ever happened. My girlfriend was quite pissed after hearing that. So according to him I attempted to kiss him and he had to push me away. Granted we were drinking but surely not to the point of losing all self control. My main problem is, if he's supposed to be my friend and something like that made him feel weird (he's gay btw) or whatever shouldn't he come to me about it and not go straight to my girlfriend. Hearing that really got me frustrated. But I explained everything that happened thaat day from start to finish. She feels as if I'm not being very honest with her. I've never had any reason to hide anything from her, hell she was the first to know that I crossdress! To get to the bottom of this I'm going to confront my "friend". This here may be an end to a friendship. That's gotta be the worst thing someone who's supposed to be a friend would do. I'm sorry if I'm dragging this on and I hope this post makes sense, but I'm extremely frustrated.

Wow! With friends like that who needs enemies? It sounds like people were testing you and are trying to take advantage of you. Now your GF will be worried each time you go out.