Bought My Wife a Dress - Should I give it to her?

[Marie-Elise]

This may be a non-issue but, as most things CD, when I have a doubt, I feel it's better to run it by the folks here to see if my instincts (or female intuition :o) is right.

I would be especially interested in the GG perspective this time.

I am returning home from a business trip tomorrow and, while I was away, I ordered three dresses off VS and had them delivered to my hotel. Two of them are identical and, after trying one on, it felt really great and looked pretty sexy. In fact, I immediately thought my wife would look great in it.

She regularly gives me her unwanted clothing so we are pretty much the same size with curves in different places.

So, I have the other one still new and in its packaging and I was thinking of surprising my wife with it tomorrow. Over the past week, I have been thinking about a "girls night in" with her, each of us in the identical dress though in different colors. I don't know that I will voice this thought to her. it's really just a fantasy, I guess.

Well, this morning, my spider sense went off and I began to question whether this present would be well received. I mean, I know she would look good in it. It is a fairly casual thing she could wear around on a weekend to hang out with friends.

But, how would she feel about me having the same dress?

[Jolene Robertson]

I think it would be OK, she might even enjoy it too. Plus she can borrow yours (a different color) sometimes, if it is a style she likes.

[AngelaKelly<3]

If your wife is OK with you dressing AND is OK with seeing you dressed; then I'd say 100% go for it :D

But, keep in mind I'm just a young kitten ;) so pinch-of-salt and all that jazz :P x

[Eryn]

I don't see any problem with giving her the dress, but don't expect her to live up to all the things you're thinking of doing. If they develop, fine, but you don't want to spoil the gift with expectations that she may not be comfortable with.

[Annaliese2010]

I think it's lovely the way you think about pleasing your wife & that there's nothing wrong with your girls night same-dress fantasy. I say, why derail or spoil your initial good intentions wrt to surprising her with a nice dress. Give it to her! Women love it when they're gifted unexpectedly. Like..when its not their birthday, sweetest day, Valentines day, Mothers day or Xmas. A surprise gift like a pretty dress or quality jewelry etc...is an expression of your caring, how she's special to you and always on your mind. After you give it to her allow her the to feel special..which was your original intention. Don't tell her you got one for yourself and dont wear yours. Allow her to wear hers whenever she does...and compliment her on how good that dress looks on her.

After a period of time, a couple weeks maybe, when you're having one of your girls nights...enjoying each other's company...feeling good about each other...when the moment is right, in an off hand playful way mention to her how you liked the dress you bought for her So much you just couldn't help getting one for yourself too! And would she mind if during your next girls night you could both be wearing the same dress. How this has been a secret fantasy of yours. But let Her decide if she's comfortable with it.

With the right fun loving approach she might just go for it. Point is..to put Her 1st. Hold off on self gratification wrt to wearing that dress in deference to her happiness by making her feel special First. It sounds like you love her very much so why not? At worst, maybe you'll just wind up wearing it the days she doesnt. Or if it upsets her...just shelve yours, return it for a refund or exchange it for another.

True love = Sacrifice. Putting the needs of your beloved above your own, whether you're a CD, a M2F transgendered or a normal everyday guy.

[BobbieBrooks]

You you say it was a BOGO deal. You bought it for her and got the 2nd for you !! But only you know the circumstance on how it will be received. Go with YOUR SPIDEY sense.

BobbieB

[Launa]

I think giving a gift is great but don't have an alterior motive with giving it. Things don't always work out the way you want them to in these situations and the wife might get disapointed when you show her the matching dresses and say 1 is for you and 1 is for me. I think you could give them both to her and tell her if she likes them great and if she doesn't then you will wear them. I've learned when you're away for a while and coming home things are better when I buy the wife something that is all her own, no strings attached. Then she'll give you full permission to do all sorts fun stuff...hehe

[Marie-Elise]

Thanks for the perspectives. I think I am going to give her the dress and tell her how pretty she looks in it. Maybe a few weeks later I will tell her I liked hers so much, I got one for myself.

In the interest of full disclosure, there have been nights when we hung out, drank wine and watched a movie together. But we have never called it "girls night in". I think this is from my own insecurity and a consequence of the way I grew up. You see, I still have the traditional view of the man's role in a marriage and am afraid being too forward about the feminine aspects of my personality would dilute that.

For example, a couple of months ago, I suggested we get some wine, do our toes and watch a movie. Her response was, "Like girlfriends?" I immediately said, "No, because I still want to have sex with you." We dropped the subject then and ended up just watching a movie with me in drab.

This idea of the masculine and my insecurity of my role being diluted is something I have to work through. Nothing would make me happier than having a "girls night in" like girlfriends. But it would also be a huge turn on for me. And I would also be apprehensive about her not seeing me as the husband and father I am.

CDing sure complicates things.

[Taylor186]

It might be me, but I feel like we are not getting the whole story here. If she knows you crossdress and gives you her unwanted clothing--for you to wear I assume--then why wait to show her you have the same dress? And, why have it delivered to a hotel and not your home?

[Marie-Elise]

It might be me, but I feel like we are not getting the whole story here. If she knows you crossdress and gives you her unwanted clothing--for you to wear I assume--then why wait to show her you have the same dress? And, why have it delivered to a hotel and not your home?

Yes, you are getting the whole story. I was on a business trip and had the clothes sent to the hotel because I wanted to wear them. I think having the same dress takes away from the gesture of giving her a present.

[Mistybtm]

I think that is is awsome, first (I would love to beable to fit into A VS dress) second I do not know your wife so it is up to you how she would feel about it. I say go for it you got it for her so give it to her.

[kimmyg]

That's awesome. Give her one and then u can just swap.

[Cheryl T]

If she knows and gives you clothing then the fact that you thought of her and bought her this dress should be well received. So long as it's new and in the package I don't see a problem. If you had tried it on, well then that's another thing all together.
If it were me (my wife fully supports and we share clothes and such) I would give it to her in an instant.

[linda allen]

I think it's fine to buy her a dress. Give it to her and tell her how much you love her.

[kimdl93]

knowing your relationship, i am sure your wife will appreciate the gift and the thought behind it. Might be time to start overcoming those insecurities and plan the girls night. It doesn't have to diminish your masculinity - just allows you to redefine it and express it in another very enjoyable manner.

[Silentpartner GG SO]

mmmm, I am not sure - I think if my hubby had bought the dress with the express intention of giving it me then I'd be very pleased but if on the other hand he bought two identical dresses but in different colours, just to see which one he liked best for himself, then decided to give the other one to me I might feel a bit like "second hand rose". I know its brand new and in the packet but some GG's are quite sensitive about gifts - they like to think the giver went out and actually thought about them and what they would like to receive.

Some GG's, I'm sure, will be absolutely fine with it but this is just my take on it. Only you know your wife and how she is likely to react. If you do decide to give her the dress I certainly wouldnt come straight out with the idea of wearing them together - she might just feel a wee bit manipulated.

Be interested to know the reaction if you decide to give her the dress and hope it goes well if you do

[Sandra]

Maybe a few weeks later I will tell her I liked hers so much, I got one for myself.



If my SO did said that to me then I would start to wonder just who the dress was for. Don't lie tell her the truth.

[GingerLeigh]

My wife confiscated one of my only dresses and wears all of my others. She has given me stuff but neither of us fit in them. SIGH. It's HOT when she wears my stuff, but not to crazy about losing what little I have.

[sissystephanie]

Over the many years that my late wife and I had together I bought her many dresses, all of which she loved. We did have some that matched and we did have "girls" nights often! She always knew that I was her man, even if I was dressed totally enfemme! I made sure of that! We actually even went out to dinner, or a club, as 2 girls on occasion! She had the ability to actually make me look completely feminine, with a wig and makeup!

[Laura912]

Maybe another question for you based on the comment about sex, do you feel that if you have sex while dressed you will abrogate your male role? Regardless of your answer, what answer would your wife give? If she would say no problem, what would you do?

[Alice Torn]

Nothing wrong with that, at all. Whenever i buy a dress, I also consider, that if i ever have a girlfriend near my size, , i will give some of them to her, too. Still alone, at 58, and way too tall for 98% of women, so not much chance. If only, an Amazon would come into my life! Give her the dress, and if she does not like it, keep it, or give it to charity.

[reb.femme]

I think I am going to give her the dress and tell her how pretty she looks in it. Maybe a few weeks later I will tell her I liked hers so much, I got one for myself.

I think you have it right on this, honesty is definitely not the best policy.

I think it was Eryn that said and I paraphrase, not gifting with expectations attached". One hundred per cent agree. I buy things for my 'better half' purely because I want to. On the other hand,....no, no, no :devil:

Rebecca x

[polkadotfarrah]

I think you should just stick with being honest and go ahead and give her the dress. I think she'll find it nice and just allow things to happen on their own. I think any woman would love to get a new dress anytime:)

[Noel Chimes]

Give her the dress, and tell her just how much you were thinking about her. See where she goes with it. Now what woman is going to turn down a present?

[DonnaT]

If they are a different color, then they aren't the same. And to make things easier, don't wear yours when she wears hers.

I just bought a couple of tunic blouses, one white, one blue. When they arrive, I'll give her the blue one, and won't even show her or mention the white one, until later, when I have it on.

[Marie-Elise]

Well, I gave my wife the dress yesterday and she is pleased with it. I did not mention that I already had the same one. I will just wear at some point later on.

So, to answer a couple of the questions asked earlier in the thread:

No, the idea of being intimate with her while dressed, for some reason, does not appear threatening to my masculinity. Don't know why.

I definitely got the dress for myself. But, after seeing it, all I could think of was how great it would look on her.

From kimdl93: "Might be time to start overcoming those insecurities and plan the girls night. It doesn't have to diminish your masculinity - just allows you to redefine it and express it in another very enjoyable manner."

This is definitely advice I will take. It is time to overcome those insecurities.

I think the variety of responses I have received here have helped me adjust my perspective a little. For one, I think that concerning the modes of masculinity, it is really circumstantial. In business situations, in public in our immediate neighborhood and being a role model for my son, I think I do have to project that masculinity. It is a part of me, after all, and it fits the operating environment.

But between me and my wife, what matters is us. How we choose to relate to each other mentally and physically is between us and need not conform to whatever social/societal norms the larger larger environment advocates. That is, unless we decide to do so.

The most important thing is that we respect each other and our needs/wants and desires.

Now, if only I can improve my practice of that philosophy. I'm working on it.