I showed my son my dresses

[Emma Leigh]

I am seperated and live alone..and my youngest children live with their mother..back in February I posted a thread about how my camera had outed me to my 12 year old son...I had removed the memory card not realising that some cameras hide their own memory until you do just that..remove the memory card...anyway there were some pictures I had taken off me dressed that I had totally forgotten about..so the cat was out of the bag so to speak...but things seemed to die down and nothing more was said...until April..when I went to visit my eldest son in Ireland..when I arrived back home in the early hours of the morning...and found the suitcase in which I had hidden all my clothes had been cut open with a craft knife...and the leads had been pulled out of my computer and hidden...turns out that unbeknown to me my youngest son had taken a key...and knowing I was away had come round to the house specifically to find my clothes..which he did..and had searched on the computer for pictures of me dressed...which he found
As a result of this his mother stopped the kids from coming round to see me...which I thought was totally unfair..but I could,nt do much about it..and I still saw them regularly...but as a result I thought there was no need to keep my cothes creased up in a now largely useless suitcase...so I hung them all in a wardrobe
The other morning..quite early..there was a knock on the door while I was still in bed..I was expecting UPS to be delivering a parcel..so half asleep I threw on a dressing gown and rushed down the stairs..halfway down I realised i was wearing a long satin nightdress..but thought no problem I can hide behind the door so the delivary guy wont see me...anyway as soon as I opened the door my son pushed his way in..and saw me in the nightdress..and the clothes I washed airing in the sitting room..including underwear..turns out he had been in a argument with his mother and decided to come round..He said nothing.. in fact he seemed like he had,nt noticed..but when he got back home I got that call of his mother
But..and finally I am getting to the point..I decided to tell him all about my CDing..today he came round and I explained as well as any of us can why I dress..I showed him my pictures..and then he asked if he could see my dresses..so I showed them to him....he told me which ones he liked..and which ones he did,nt..and even which ones he thought would suit me best..it all seemed to go so well..but only time will tell
sorry for such a long post..hope I havent bored you..but I just had to tell someone

[RADER]

Emma; I hope all goes well for you. It all depends on your X as how it will turn out.
Will she poison your son not to respect you or dislike you for your dressing.
My wife did that to some extent, that I have had no contact with them for over 18 years
now. It hurts, because after our divorce, I gave the kids everything they wanted or needed.
All was well until I decided to remarried after 15 years of being single. Then all of a sudden
I was the stick in the muddy, and never spoken to since.
Remember, a 12 year old is very venerable, just go easy and try to spend as much one
on one time as you can with him, make him feel special.
Good Luck.
Rader

[Noel Chimes]

what did mom and son fall out about? Well only time will tell what the fallout will be. I hope that your son went home with a better understanding and not more questions than answers.

[giuseppina]

Hello Emma Leigh

There's no need to be sorry about the length of your post.

Assuming they haven't been indoctrinated by someone, children have an amazing power to be objective and adapt to their parent's idiosyncrasies. We often don't give them enough credit in deciding what is important, and what isn't.

I think the suitcase incident is telling you he knows all about you. A little destructive, but sometimes nothing stops them from seeking information. Maybe he thinks or was told the crossdressing had something to do with the separation and was looking for supporting evidence, which he evidently found.

From what you've posted here, it looks like any trouble is likely to come from someone else with your son as the message bearer. Perhaps you can educate him about what being on the transgender spectrum means and give him some resources he can look up on his own. Whatever you do, criticising your ex to him is a no-no, as she may try to use that against you in court.

[Kaz]

Hey Emma, I hope it all works out... I guess it is all about understanding and then acceptance... the role of your ex will be interesting, but then your sons will be bearing that split in mind as they come to their perceptions. We can all influence perceptions... bigotry, hatred and stupidity are a lot different! I would be open and honest with the kids... ask who knows and then work the issues...

[Michelle 51]

I'm glad it worked out but I would have some serious concerns about my 12 yr old breaking in my home (a stolen key is the same thing) and invading my privacy like that.None of my business.Good luck

[Emma Leigh]

I appreciate all your comments....I know there are issues here...its too easy blame the ex..but where did she think he was when he was at my house..and then she stops ME from seeing the kids!!..and I know for a lot of us this is our worst nightmare.. being found out..but I hope from the attitude he showed today...its not going to be a problem...but as I said already..time will tell

[Marleena]

Emma it looks your son really doesn't have any issues with it. Based on your post you are getting acceptance from him regardless of what your EX is saying/doing.

[Emma Leigh]

Emma it looks your son really doesn't have any issues with it. Based on your post you are getting acceptance from him regardless of what your EX is saying/doing.

I think he did Marleena...I did try to explain to him we dont always know why we are what we are ourselves..that I have been dressing since I was 8..and we are,nt ogres..

[Barbara Ella]

Emma, I think your son has shown a great deal of maturity and thoughtfulness to be able to come over and talk about it with you in spite of what the ex is most likely saying on a routine basis. You should be proud of him. Let time run on this one, and I think he might surprise you.

Barbara

[Laura912]

There is a question niggling at my mind based on your son commenting on the dresses he liked. Is there any hint that he may be interested or prone to dress? Some threads here have raised the element of genetics in all this is reason for question. If he is interested, he may be very afraid of a maternal reaction if found out.

[Mollyanne]

Hi Emma, Tough situation at best, although I kinda' agree with Laura here, maybe your son is interested dressing also but is ashamed and afraid of what his mom would say. Something like "Oh really, just your father" (VERY VERY HURTFUL). All in all, it appears that it will work out well, only time will tell.

Molly

[Lori B]

hey Emm,,,,,in every cloud there is a silver lining,,,or something like that,you know I am here for ya:hugs:

[Jilmac]

It sounds as if your son could be on your side, keep us posted.

[Beverley Sims]

If things look good always keep positive situations about you and your ex at all times.
Don't be tempted to bring in the negatives and things should go well for you.

[Rianna Humble]

I'm with Guiseppina, please don't feel you need to apologise for the length of your post.

I would have been concerned about your youngest stealing a key, coming in and vandalising your belongings, buit your ex was very wrong to use that to try to deny your children the right to come to your home.

I'm glad your son came back depite "that call" and that you were able to try to explain about cross-dressing. His positive comments are definitely a reason for hope :hugs:

[Emma Leigh]

Thanks again for all the positive comments......I seriously doubt my son is hiding tendensies to want to dress himsellf Laura & Molly...more likely he was saying which dresses he liked to make me feel more comfortable about the situation..he is a very mature 12 year old

[heatherdress]

Suggest that you try to return focus to being a good father and try and let this stuff pass. In the end, that is what he needs - a good dad who loves him.

[Lori B]

Suggest that you try to return focus to being a good father and try and let this stuff pass. In the end, that is what he needs - a good dad who loves him.Emm is......................and does!

[Emma Leigh]

Suggest that you try to return focus to being a good father and try and let this stuff pass. In the end, that is what he needs - a good dad who loves him.

He has....have you read the thread???......if I did,nt care I would,nt have written it........as for "let this stuff pass".....like we can