Bad Experience at Nail Salon

[Jamie001]

I just returned from my bi-weekly visit to a local nail salon. I have been a regular customer at that nail salon for the past 5 years and I regularly talk with the owner and many of the nail techs. I love going to the nails salon in my normal androgynous drab mode because it is very relaxing, and peaceful. I am treated as "one of the girls". There are no expectations and I can just enjoy chatting with my nail tech and sometimes other customers. All that I need to do is just relax and be a girl without having to deal with alpha-male characters. The most difficult decision is what shade of bright red or hot pink I should choose for my toenails. I arrived for my appointment and my nail tech escorted me to her nail station. There was a guy in his late 40's to early 50's that was getting a pedicure on the spa chair. He was very loud and boisterous and was constantly making sexual remarks to several of the nail techs. :eek: He also saying that he was going to go on a date this evening with the nail tech that was doing his pedicure when it was apparent that she wanted noting to do with him. It was the kind of talk that you might hear in a barbershop. Keep in mind that he is very loud and attempting to draw all attention to himself. :brolleyes: Unfortunately, he is a regular customer at that nail salon several times per month. The situation continued for and then at the last minute, he opted for a manicure. That meant that he would be staying for at least an additional 30 minutes. :Angry3:

I consider my visits to the nail salon to be a very relaxing feminine sanctuary and I believe that most of the GGs that go to the nail salon are expecting this type of environment, not an environment with an alpha-male attempting to draw all attention to himself. :sad:

Since more and more famous athletes are getting pedicures and are very public about it, more and more of the the average guys on the street are following these athletes and are getting male pedicures. Unfortunately these men are taking their macho boisterous attitudes with them to the nail salon. :puke:

All in all the experiences was very annoying and I am hoping that it doesn't occur again. On a positive note, I left with fire engine red toenails and it was fun to see the expression on his face when my nail tech started applying the red polish to my toes.

[celeste26]

You can be certain that the salon owner was very aware of the negative energy there and they just might refuse him service next time he asks. But I'll bet it was so traumatic for him that he wont likely come back anyway.

[Paula T]

To bad you didn't have secret camera to show his expressin. I can about imagine.

[Thera Home]

Jamie
Im sorry to hear about your day at the nail salon. You should have told him to be quiet and that nobody wants to hear his crap. I bet the shop would have given a free nail job.
Anyway, I feel his pride was taking the best of him and showing all the ladies and men there that even if hes getting a pedicure and a manicure hes still the rough and tough guy and was making that loud and clear. Next time ask him what color are his nails going too be.:heehee:

Thera

[Danielle Gee]

Coukd be that he was just blustering to divert attention from the fact that he was in a nail salon getting a manni & pedi

[ReineD]

I have a different reaction than the others. I think it's wonderful that alpha males are expanding a little and they're losing their fear of "seeming" gay, should they be human and enjoy a bit of pampering too. It's an indication that the gender barriers continue to dissolve, which in my opinion is A GOOD THING! lol

You need to relax and accept his right to be there just as much as yours. I'm sure the nail techs are big girls and they can take care of themselves. :D

As to being loud, no one can control this. Have you never gotten your nails done at a place where women bring their kids and they become unruly? Or have you not encountered loud women in these places?

We all have the same right to walk this earth as anyone else, Jamie, and if you prefer an exclusive experience, there are upscale spas with dedicated rooms for their customers. There is such a place near me, but it is quite pricey. Still, this is the only way to guarantee that no one, man, woman, or child, will mar your experience.

[Clueless]

I would have complained to the manager or owner. The manager or owner is breaking the law by allowing sexual harassment in their business. The customer should have been told to stop or leave. I would also make sure that I didn't get appointments when he was there & let them know why. If enough customers & employees complain he should be refused service.

[Cynthia Anne]

There's no need ''to let gossip from a loose lip ruin a perfect day''! Better luck next time! Hugs!

[Jackiefl]

I would have to agree with Reine as i have experienced the same thing at the salon i go to.

[Persephone]

Welcome to life on the other side of the curtain, Jamie!

The women's group that I hang out with has a rule that men cannot attend our regular dinners and most of our outings. When they do show up they are usually seated at a different table.

This past weekend we had a get-together at someone's home and "husbands, significant others, and boyfriends" were invited.

I ended up seated near one of the husbands. He teaches history at a local college. For a while he was fairly quiet, allowing us to talk to each other, but eventually he started contributing to the conversation and eventually he pretty well dominated it, showing off his knowledge of history, movie trivia, and assorted subjects, all designed to show himself off.

I sat there wondering, "Is this what my boyself does?"

And I had to admit that yes, he probably often does.

A sobering insight.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[ReineD]

I would have complained to the manager or owner. The manager or owner is breaking the law by allowing sexual harassment in their business. The customer should have been told to stop or leave. I would also make sure that I didn't get appointments when he was there & let them know why. If enough customers & employees complain he should be refused service.

Kidding around with a nail tech saying they're going out on a date later, is hardly sexual harassment. She works with the public and she deals with all kinds of people. She knows how to keep things in perspective. Also, he's a regular customer there and I'm sure they appreciate his business. Otherwise, they wouldn't continue to book his appointments. :)

Persephone, I've encountered conversation hogs among both men and women. Maybe my circle of friends is unconventional (mostly academics), but women have just as strong a voice in conversations as the men.

[BobbieBrooks]

Well you now know that if you show up and HE is there, leave and come back later. I also hate the screaming kids that are out of control.

BobbieB

[Jamie001]

Coukd be that he was just blustering to divert attention from the fact that he was in a nail salon getting a manni & pedi

I think that you may be correct. He probably felt that he was enjoying a pedicure which is considered to be a feminine indulgence and was attempting to compensate for the feelings by acting hyper masculine with the sexual innuendos and loud boisterous behavior. It was very annoying.

I have been to nail salons with small children running wild and it is also annoying. I have never been to a nail salon where GGs are loud and rowdy. GGs are just for the most part better behaved. The guy in the nail salon was the worst - kinda of like a loud drunk even though we was definitely not intoxicated.

I understand what Reine is saying that he has a right to be there at the nail salon and that it is progress regarding gender equality, however, I don't believe that he has the right to be a loud, boisterous male pig that is disrespectful to the nail techs and other customers.

[Rachel Morley]

.... he is a regular customer at that nail salon several times per month. There you go. That's why they put up with it (assuming it causes the nails techs the same uncomfortable feeling as it did you). This is America, the customer is king, money talks and business is business. Nothing's gonna change. I highly doubt this customer will be asked to "tone it down a little" ... not unless there's lots of complaints from other customers. :2c:

[ReineD]

I understand what Reine is saying that he has a right to be there at the nail salon and that it is progress regarding gender equality, however, I don't believe that he has the right to be a loud, boisterous male pig that is disrespectful to the nail techs and other customers.

Then you've not been to a nail salon at the same time as a bunch of teenage girlfriends. Goodness they can be screechy! But, I don't mind. I rather enjoy their energy. :)

[Jamie001]

It is also important to mention that he was also commenting on the cute a$$ on two of the nail techs and that he enjoys watching them walk while carrying the pedicure water tub.

[ReineD]

It is also important to mention that he was also commenting on the cute a$$ on two of the nail techs and that he enjoys watching them walk while carrying the pedicure water tub.

Ah. Well, there's no harm in looking, even my SO looks at women, but honestly if the nail techs find the remarks inappropriate, it is up to them to tell this customer privately that the remarks are too personal and they make the nail techs feel awkward. I'm sure he needs only be told once and he will stop, unless he really is a sexual predator (which I doubt).

Still, I've also seen similar banter at diners and other places where there are regular customers, and the women who work there understand where the remarks come from and they know how to deflect them well. Most women do not get into a tizzy and cower when they encounter boisterous male behavior. But again, maybe this is just my personal perception because I am a rather strong woman. :D

[Nikki A.]

While I don't condone his behavior and think it is rude, however he is a customer and a regular one at that. His cash is like yours, Would you like it if you were refused service if the other customers were uncomfortable with you being there?

[Jamie001]

While I don't condone his behavior and think it is rude, however he is a customer and a regular one at that. His cash is like yours, Would you like it if you were refused service if the other customers were uncomfortable with you being there?

Hi Nikki I understand what you are saying, however I would never be refused service because I'm very polite to the nail techs and other customers in the salon and would never make other folks uncomfortable. It is just not my nature. Is it really too much to ask for this customer to sit there and enjoy the service without talking extremely loud and making rude comments? It's just good manners, common courtesy and respect for the nail techs and the other customers. Maybe I'm overreacting because I'm a TG and trying to escape all of this alpha-male bs bantering and competition that seems to dominate the male world. I consider the nail salon to be a sanctuary where I shouldn't be exposed to this type of nonsense. On a positive note, this experience has certainly given me another perspective. Now I understand why many GGs want (and need) to have their own (no males allowed) gymnasiums and other facilities because they need a sanctuary away from the alpha-male pigs of society that let their little head do all of the thinking.

[Persephone]

Persephone, I've encountered conversation hogs among both men and women. Maybe my circle of friends is unconventional (mostly academics), but women have just as strong a voice in conversations as the men.

Oh, absolutely, Reine! And I hate it when another woman cuts me off in mid-sentence. But most of us will then feel free to cut into her sentence in return, or women will often just talk at the same time that she is, stuff like that.

But few women, at least in my age group, are likely to do that to a man and few are likely to challenge his pontificating bluster particularly with his wife sitting next to him and looking like "My! Isn't he so smart! See, ladies, I got a good one!"

Hugs,
Persephone.

[ReineD]

But few women, at least in my age group, are likely to do that to a man and few are likely to challenge his pontificating bluster particularly with his wife sitting next to him and looking like "My! Isn't he so smart! See, ladies, I got a good one!"

I do know a couple like this. :eek:

... but, they're happy together. I wouldn't like it though.

My views of gender equality may well be skewed. I've always been drawn to people, both men and women, who haven't been stuck into rigid gender roles. Pontificating men bore me as do insipid women and I've chosen to spend time with people who aren't like that. My female friends tend to be strong, independent women, and their husbands respect this. :)

Not to take this off topic, to Jamie re your last comment ... maybe you need to find a different nail salon. Honestly if this man bothers you, life's too short and you deserve to enjoy your pampering time. Fortunately there are tons of nail salons around who would love your business.

.. also I'll tell you a secret. The reason my girlfriends and I enjoy our time away from our partners, is because we like to talk about them. :D

[Babeba]

I am sorry! I never realized I was supposed to be quiet and not say cheeky things in nail salons!! I've gone a couple of times withy mom, and I must have missed the sign on the door. Sorry! Usually I am loud and giggly and we all crack jokes and whatnot.

[RiverdanceGirl]

I cannot help but wonder if this guy isn't trying to play a card here. Perhaps he thinks he's getting a pedicure just to say 'Hey chickies get a load of me expressing my feminine side. Doesn't it make you want me because I'm so hot? But I'm all man too and I'm going to prove it by talking all sexual about how much you want me'. Trust me, I've known guys like that. If not, he definitely doesn't know how to behave properly in public. Sadly, his money is good and he has a right to go where he wants but I totally understand that we don't want knuckle draggers like him in our feminine sanctuaries.

[Unsuremayb]

I wonder if these guys realize how stupid and sad they look sometimes when they perform their tough macho routine, especially when they’re in a group. But it sounds to me that he was trying to say, ‘look I’m still a tough guy even though I’m here having my nails done’

[Vickie_CDTV]

He is a customer, and he has a right to be there as well, unless his comments actually reach the level of harassment; if this is the case (especially if the techs complain about his comments), then the owner is obligated to ask the customer leave and not come back. Unfortunately, poor manners in of itself do not qualify as sexual harassment. I certainly would not make such comments to GGs I did not know personally, not only is it just downright rude it can also get one into all kinds of trouble.

[Tina B.]

Simple Jamie, find a salon, that only does women, oh wait, they might not want you there! I hate going to the theater, and hear people talking during the movie, so most of the time, I watch videos, I hate people that cut in on lines. but we all have to live in this world, not everyone is there for the same reason you are, and if I had a customer in that business that came in as often as you say he does, I would let him get away with a lot too. We always talk about shopping, as in our money is just as good as theirs, so go do it, well his money is just as good as anyone else's, maybe better than most, because of how often he goes in and spends it. And he may be rude, but maybe he tips good, and the techs look forward to his coming. We all need to lighten up, and work more on how we behave, and not worry about what everyone else out there is doing, there is nothing to be done about it anyway.
Tina B.

[EllieOPKS]

I have little tolerance for rude obnoxious people because it's a choice. If your barking dog wakes me at 530a, I'll be knocking on your door about 9a.
If I were there, I would say something polite like " why don't you shut up for just 60 frickn seconds?". The guy is treating the techs like crap and I don't think they tolerate it just because he spends money there. Would you? It's the owners responsibility to determine who they will service.

[sterling12]

Well, next time you could call The Salon and ask for an appointment. Because I am sure that they all know who he is, simply ask that your appointment is timed so that he WON'T be around. Now, if they accept Walk-Ins, you won't be able to avoid that possibility, but you have cut your odds way down. Logically, what's the odds you will run into to him again. If you preschedule, and request that he's not around. I imagine they would accommodate you.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Nikki A.]

Jamie I understand and do sympathise but unfortunatly it takes all kinds and sometimes you just have to roll with the punches. A good suggestion is try to schedule when he isn't around or if you do run into him again, tell him you'd appreciate it if he toned it down. Maybe he doesn't realize that he's an ass and he thinks that people appreciate his "humor".

[Kathi Lake]

... also I'll tell you a secret. The reason my girlfriends and I enjoy our time away from our partners, is because we like to talk about them. :Dse·cret [see-krit]
adjective
1. done, made, or conducted without the knowledge of others: secret negotiations.
2. kept from the knowledge of any but the initiated or privileged: a secret password.
3. faithful or cautious in keeping confidential matters confidential; close-mouthed; reticent.

Duh!

Reine, we know that. It's no secret!

:)

Kathi

[Maria 60]

I'll bet you that under all that macho man talk he was dying to get that fire engine red nail polish also.

[STACY B]

Yall about sumed it up ! He was in there with the ladys an us wanna be's an his manhood was in question so he had to get loud an make it known that he is a man . Like some others said ,,Come onnnnn YOUR in a nail salon ,,, How tuff can you be ? LOL,,,,

[Alice Torn]

Loud macho roosters, or loud cackling hens!LOL.

[SarahLynn]

I should think if you were to request your appointment for a time different then his they will accommodate your request.

However were it me and i was looking for the serenity of the salon and he happened to be there acting the male azz, i'd be tempted to tell him to shut the F@@@ up or i'd bash the 'ell out of him. When doing this be certain you have loaded your purse such as any woman does, with everything she can find which weights something in excess of 5pounds. :devil: :devil: And when you hit him with it be certain you have knocked him off the chair and into the corner of the room, where you can kick him while he's down with your pointy toed shoes where it will do the most good.

Such people make me so dang, :Angry3::Angry3::Angry3:

[Jessica86]

I was getting my hair cut in guy mode and this happened. In fact, it happens alot because I prefer women stylists to cut my hair. Last time I was in there, I had a guy sitting next to me that waited for a certain stylist to free up. Then, he kept saying things like "When's break time?" She said she had already gone. Then, he said the most retarded pickup line. I think her name was Karen, and he said "In my life, there's always Karen time." JEEZE guy. Use something that doesn't make us all look like retards. But, if you really pay attention to what people say, it happens all the time.

[donnatracey]

I am so glad that I have never seen another man, let alone a boisterous/uncouth one like this clown, at the the salon I frequent. I agree with you Jamie, his conduct was totally uncalled for and unless I am missing something, I don't see why the salon puts up with it. That would have spoiled my pedi too.......:sad:

I have seen salons that have a sign posted that they can refuse service as they see fit....certainly would have been apropo in this case!

[Chickhe]

...people are people. But, there must be a polish that goes on one color and eventually drys as another.... I'm thinking, you paint mr. machos nails clear and a few hours later then turn bright pink. He won't be so loud the next time.

[MsJanessa]

Coukd be that he was just blustering to divert attention from the fact that he was in a nail salon getting a manni & pedi

ditto---probably very uncomfortable with his femme side--lol

[Diane Smith]

Regardless of the source -- obnoxious alpha males, little kids, gossipy old ladies, loud music, barking dogs -- if you find that the environment in a particular hair or nail salon (or dentist's or dog groomer's, for that matter) consistently annoys you, you need to look for another place to take your business. Simple.

- Diane