Story about work and an office party!

[AngelaKelly<3]

Hey everyone!

I just want to share a bit of a story I have about my work's night out on Friday :)

So basically, every year we have two parties at my work. One for Xmas and New Year and another "Summer Party". The admin girl booked the place for the summer party, but nobody knew it was a gay bar! :eek:

Now; I'm not a gay man, I'm a transgendered girl :heehee: but I was pretty happy with this locale, as it offered an opportunity to discuss things that wouldn't normally come up. Plus, in my experiance, the gay community sure know how to throw a good party! :)

The entertainment they put on that night was a drag queen/female impersonator and I was delighted that this caused the discussion to meander towards cross-dressing and the transgendered community! :D

I don't think I gave anything away, I was able to pass off my knowledge of the topic as stuff I learned during my ill-fated teacher training; but I did get a gauge for what everyone there thought about it. They were very accepting of the concept and even said that they would welcome a transgendered person into the office en femme. :eek:

This obviously got me thinking, or daydreaming more like :daydreaming:

I might be finally starting on the road to gaining the courage to come out about this! :heehee: But I'm still a long way from being ready yet! :doh: as nobody knows about what I do and I've still to figure out what it all means myself!

Does anyone here work in an office environment as a transwoman? What problems does it usually cause, if any?

[kimdl93]

I no longer work on an office environment, but I did recently come out to a former colleague. Why her? Well, I'd come to learn that she was very accepting of the gay and TG members of her church and, we had grown quite close over the years we worked together.

So, is ther anyone who seemed unusually open minded or particularly impressed you among your co workers?

[Vickie_CDTV]

I'd be careful. Folks at the party may have been good sports and taken the drag performance as a lark and had some fun with it, but actually having a trans person sitting in the cubicle next to them might be a different story (and the GGs might object to a trans using the womens room and all that other junk.)

[AngelaKelly<3]

It was the GGs in the office who were the most accepting. I don't think I'm going to act on this, but just put it in the bank for later on.

It's good to know I work with such open minded people :battingeyelashes:

[Foxglove]

Hi, Angela! I think I'd be a bit cautious, too. People can be very open to a theoretical concept, but being open to the reality can be a different matter.

That said, it's something I'd certainly investigate, and if it looks like a real possibility, I'd go for it. You just need to consider all the circumstances carefully.

Best wishes, Annabelle

[Nikki A.]

Many people are accpting until it falls in their backyard. That said the office manager (and her family & some of our friends) know Nikki and another former worker also knew I dressed (but she asked that I don't mention it to her SO).
Depending how large your office is a factor and the ages and religious bend of the people there is a factor in how accepting they really would be.

[linda allen]

It was the GGs in the office who were the most accepting. I don't think I'm going to act on this, but just put it in the bank for later on.

It's good to know I work with such open minded people :battingeyelashes:
They may act like they are open minded but when reality sets in, that may change. Or, it may not.

The problem is, it's your work and you can't put the toothpaste back into the tube once it's out.

There's a saying that's usually applied to dating co-workers, but I think it applies equally here:

"You don't (poop) where you eat." In otherwords, don't do anything that might affect your livelyhood.

[Abby74]

It also could be a large company has rules in place for this. You can't tell me Wal-Mart doesn't employee cross dressers. I don't work for Wal-Mart but they are the largest. Now this could back fire if your boss doesn't like it, large company or not.

I completely agree people are open-minded until it's in there back yard.

[Sophie_C]

Times are changing. I would say all the cautionary things you're hearing now, but with girls like Jenna Talackova being in headlines of the newspaper and truly looking like a woman, not like the modern-day version of the circus' bearded lady, people are getting it on a primal level. Not to mention, with the internet, people are learning quick and society is changing far more rapidly than I ever thought possible. So, sure it's still a gamble in 2012, but it's a gamble you could win. Personally, I thought it would take until 2050 until it got to this point. And, remember, if your office wasn't open-minded, they wouldn't have even went to a gay bar with a drag event. Odds are better than usual that this could (no guarantees here) turn out well.

Note: No matter how much it shouldn't matter, success with this (i.e. keeping your job) is highly dependent on being able to approach some basic level of passability, which is tough for most any girl, unless she's really young or lucky. How possible do you think you can do it (and don't sugar coat the situation)?

[AngelaKelly<3]

I don't know what it's like in other parts of the world, but Scots Law (and even EU Law) protects people from being discriminated against through their employment, because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. So that's a comfort; knowing I wouldn't lose my job over it. :heehee:

But, I'm probably going to leave it for a while. I'd really like the first person I come out to to be a close family member anyway; it's not fair for somebody else to know before my mother, right? :heehee:

Thanks for the help and kind words everyone x

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Angela, Be careful and keep the phone number of HR handy.

[linda allen]

I don't know what it's like in other parts of the world, but Scots Law (and even EU Law) protects people from being discriminated against through their employment, because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. So that's a comfort; knowing I wouldn't lose my job over it. :heehee:

But, I'm probably going to leave it for a while. I'd really like the first person I come out to to be a close family member anyway; it's not fair for somebody else to know before my mother, right? :heehee:


Your boss can't say "You're fired because you're a crossdresser.", but unless it's a union job with promotions based purely on seniority, being a crossdresser or crossdressing at work could hold you back in ways that can't be proven.

Two equally qualified people and one is a crossdresser? Which one gets the promotion? And if it involves dealing with the public, your company may be very uncomfortable putting you out where the public sees and deals with you.

I'm not saying it's right, just that it's reality.