As a "regular participant" at these Forums...

[Wildaboutheels]

do you feel any obligation of any type to help others?

Or not?

[Kaz]

I feel no obligation... it is just in my nature?

[Tracii G]

If they ask for help sure.

[Babette]

I suppose that depends on the type of help needed.

[UNDERDRESSER]

do you feel any obligation of any type to help others?

Or not?Do you mean just on this forum? Or in real life as well? I tend to be the kind of person that wants to help out, maybe too much.

In real life, the only recent thing which has a bearing on this community, is I sometimes deal with a MtF TS, and i try to behave towards her as I would a GG.

[PretzelGirl]

There are no obligations in being here. If you do anything, it has to be because you want to and possibly find some type of fulfillment. But how can there be an obligation when all you have to do is not log in?

[BRANDYJ]

Don't feel obligated at all. However if I feel I can offer anything to help someone asking for it, I will gladly offer an opinion or advise.

[Vieja]

I don't feel qualified to offer help of the sort you could find on this forum.


Vieja

[Princess Chantal]

As a member on the internet forums and social sites - no obligation. I rarely offer help in private messages/emails. However I tend to post tips, suggestions and my experiences on the open boards in which may be helpfull to some

As a Big Sister of the local Masquerade crossdressing group - Yes, especially for the prospective members and new members

As an active member of the local kink and LGBT communities - somewhat, however I tend to point to the sources instead of putting as much effort to help as I do for Masquerade members

[RainyNightGirl]

I like to help, its part of my nature.

Natasha

[Wildaboutheels]

It's a recurring theme here isn't it?

That many here would LIKE to leave their residence en femme, [and the reason/s don't really matter do they?] but they are AFRAID of being noticed, made, laughed at, outed to friends, coworkers etc. or whatever you want to call it? IF you could help those folks, would you? Many, are likely lurkers at this site. How many here lurked for a while before joining or after joining before jumping into the Forum frey? If there was ANOTHER way to help them?

Another way. As in polls. They used to have them here, I understand and were eliminated for some reason. I believe that ALL folks participating in them could be made to be "honest". IF someone was forced to be honest in their participaion [if they CHOSE to participate] wouldn't polls offer a third leg of reliable, valid info to everyone?

Or would you not have any desire to participate in polls?

EDIT: btw, I DID ask a couple of weeks ago if people trusted both the site itself [the #s] AND the members here and almost everyone said they did. Polls would simply be an added extension of both wouldn't they?

[Crissy Kay]

If someone on this forum contacts me, I will help if I am able to, otherwise no.

[Princess Chantal]

That many here would LIKE to leave their residence en femme, [and the reason/s don't really matter do they?] but they are AFRAID of being noticed, made, laughed at, outed to friends, coworkers etc. or whatever you want to call it? IF you could help those folks, would you?
Nope, I don't want to be accountable of the possible negative consequences and happenings of those who were not actually ready mentally to take the step out of the door. I've seen people blaming and bad mouthing the ones that tried to help them out. I also seen people that had their confidence helped built up by others who supported their "passability/blending in" thoughts go running scared sh*tless (to the point of not crossdressing anymore) after encountering a negative confrontation of some sort.

Wow the real life knowledge I gained thru the years of being so engaged in the local tg community, really shocks me!!!!

[Cynthia Anne]

Obligated! NO! But helping others is what my life is all about! If I can put a smile on one persons face then I feel I've had a good day! Hugs!

[Stephanie47]

Sometimes I do feel an obligation to respond when a thread presents a problem in a relationship. Sometimes posters do not see the adverse consequences of their actions. Then, I feel I and others should ask whether or not the poster has considered other options and is aware of consequences of action or inaction.

[Lorileah]

Another way. As in polls. They used to have them here, I understand and were eliminated for some reason. Mostly because they became blood baths that polarized the group and made the Mod's life a living hell. We just don't play well with each other.

I feel no obligation to help. I think that everyone else here should have an obligation to follow my advice. :)

I want people here to feel that what they do is not wrong or strange. So I try and show that in the grand scheme of things, going out is really not a world stopper. And if there is a specific question, I will answer if I believe I have a perspective they might use.

[Marleena]

Nope...I never feel obligated but sometimes I feel the need to.

I'm here to try to help others feel good about themselves since we are a minority.

[LilSissyStevie]

Not just here but in every area of my life I think about all the people that have helped me along the way and then I think "How could I do that to another human being?"

[Kate Simmons]

This is one reason I'm still here due to a NDE (near death experience) in 2005. I was given a directive to help my family and others.I was therefore put in a position wherein I can do this. The point is, however, it's come to where I help others because I WANT to not because I have to.:)

[Wildaboutheels]

My point is, Polls CAN be made meaningful, bloodless and a "no hands on" needed or necessary for ANY Moderator.

IF they could be posted to meet all the above criteria, would YOU participate?

It would simply be a choice, YOUR choice to participate. Or not participate.

[Kate Simmons]

Yes but I doubt they would re-institute the polls option here. What we had before was pretty messed up and convoluted. We used to have a political section too but that basically became a war zone for personal opinions. I would welcome the polls back if people would behave though.:)

[Crissy Kay]

Nope...I never feel obligated but sometimes I feel the need to.

I'm here to try to help others feel good about themselves since we are a minority.

Good reply Marleena. And I belive we are a dispised minority at that!!

[Marleena]

Good reply Marleena. And I belive we are a dispised minority at that!!

It depends who you talk to Crissy.:) There have been a couple members that say their families, friends and everybody they meet are totally okay with them being a CDer. Maybe I just need to relocate to where they live.:D

[Eryn]

...And I belive we are a dispised minority at that!!

Only by some closed-minded people. Others are more willing to accept us.

Example: I was having dinner with a group of 4 CDers and 2 GGs at a mainstream restaurant. Almost all of the CDers were tall (6-2 to 6-6) so we stood out a bit. A GG diner came over to our table and said how wonderful it was that we could go out and enjoy ourselves as we wished. She went out of her way to make us feel welcome. There are many good people out there.

Now, back to the original question. I don't feel obligated to help, but I like to help where I can. I think of it as saving good karma.

[KellyJameson]

For myself I would not use the word obligation because that feels like a debt or duty and if I help others from a sense of debt than I would not be honoring my own value as an individual but acting like a slave in servitude to the undefined "other"

I help but I maintain the freedom to choose how, when,where,why and for what reasons otherwise I would be at risk of violating my own internal sense of right and wrong (integrity) which I'm always testing and hopefully deepening as I move to become the complete expression of it (without contradiction)

When you come from a place of fear those you help you harm, only genuine love can heal or protect. The problem is that love is never genuine when it is wrapped in fear.

[carolinewalker_2000]

Not an "obligation", but if people ask for help and I can; why not?

[reb.femme]

do you feel any obligation of any type to help others?

Or not?

If it's not of a financial nature, happy to help! :devil:
Never obligated, only to the UK taxman!

Rebecca x

[Wildaboutheels]

Ok, "obligation" was a trick word. Used for a reason. Does it matter why people choose to help?

Do you think "honest Injun" polls COULD help some people?

And if you do, WOULD you participate in them?

This is one of those questions with only 3 possible answers.

1] I think any/all polls are silly or useless and would never participate in one.

2] I think they can be beneficial and might participate in SOME.

3] I would participate in all of them cuz I just wuvvvvvv polls.

Ok, wiseguys and wisegals. Any other choices besides those 3?

[BiancaEstrella]

It's always been my stance that I'd help anyone who asks, so long as it was help I could provide. In extreme cases I'll spring to action, but generally I don't prod for information.

[ArleneRaquel]

I'm not qualified to give advice, all I can do is offer my own life experiences and perhaps that in some small way can be helpful. This site is for letting one be themselves and express their hopes and desires, not to judge.

[2B Natasha]

Ok, "obligation" was a trick word. Used for a reason. Does it matter why people choose to help?

Do you think "honest Injun" polls COULD help some people?

And if you do, WOULD you participate in them?

This is one of those questions with only 3 possible answers.

1] I think any/all polls are silly or useless and would never participate in one.

2] I think they can be beneficial and might participate in SOME.

3] I would participate in all of them cuz I just wuvvvvvv polls.

Ok, wiseguys and wisegals. Any other choices besides those 3?

I feel no obligation to help

I think your trying to post a poll and slither your way in to do it is childish. just like this poll

I think you should stop and just follow the rules.

I think lately you have been asking a lot of poll like question.

I don't think any poll is worth a damn since the sample size is always small and fractured on this site.

I think you and your dog need a time out for trying so dang hard to do that end run.

[Lorileah]

Unless you know something I don't, it is a moot point.

Having been here when polls were operational, I can tell you that there was a REAL good reason they were disabled. They became battle grounds for selected people to bully and flame. Not saying that there wasn't interesting and fun polls. I remember one that really ended up showing that the percentage of Bi, straight and gay members is very close to accepted numbers. The problem comes into other matters. And the Mods here (and the admins) have a tough job letting us play as it is. There is a reason we can't discuss politics, why religion is relegated to its area, why we cannot give graphic details of our sexual (usually imagined) adventures.

I am not sure that polls will accomplish anything. They are at best academic and at worst skewed to whoever feels the need to answer. The questions can be manipulated to elicit responses that can be misinterpreted. And that is what happened. Right now things seem to be flowing as smoothly as they ever were. I doubt the power that be will re-activate the poll feature.

[sometimes_miss]

I do my best to keep others from being taken over by the pink fog here; I think it's dangerous to forget that much of the rest of the world thinks we're a bit odd at best, and perverted child molesters at worst. There are lots of things that other people do that we usually never notice that can affect our lives significantly, and it's easy to forget that until something really bad happens (being 'downsized', evicted, or even physically attacked), these things can happen easily and the perpetrators can simply come up with another reason why they do it to you to avoid the prejudice or hate tag.

[Karren H]

The only thing I feel obligated is to offer my opinion... Whether its wanted or not! Lol. Honestly I love helping people almost to a flaw. If they are in need... And humble. I've sent people on this forum clothes and makeup and hair and on other forums even money..... but I don't feel obligated to do so... I want to do it.... Locally I'm into volunteering for charities and into random acts of kindness.....

[sterling12]

Yes, but by Participating here; by giving our opinions and advise, if not obligated, then are we compelled to do these things?

I have always argued that we get something out of this too! That is, when we help others. Most of the people who are responding on this thread have hundreds, if not thousands of messages posted. Most of the time, what we write is in the form of advise or opinion. So, we must be getting "something" out of corresponding. It can't all be cathartic. If not out of a sense of obligation to help other TG Sisters, then what is it?

Peace and Love, Joanie

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi WAH, If I can offer some good advise I'm happy to do so.
There's not to many questions that comes up that someone can't help with.

[Babeba]

Ok, "obligation" was a trick word. Used for a reason. Does it matter why people choose to help?

Do you think "honest Injun" polls COULD help some people?

And if you do, WOULD you participate in them?

This is one of those questions with only 3 possible answers.

1] I think any/all polls are silly or useless and would never participate in one.

2] I think they can be beneficial and might participate in SOME.

3] I would participate in all of them cuz I just wuvvvvvv polls.

Ok, wiseguys and wisegals. Any other choices besides those 3?

I don't know that polls are really a 'help' for other people. All you see is a tabulation of what other people have chosen from a set of predetermined answers, decided by a person with their own predetermined views on things. In terms of the list you have given, this is really more of a long-answer-discussion sort of question - WHY do you feel the way you do about polls? In my experience, internet polls are either to help the poster decide from multiple options (with presumably the most popular option being chosen or 'right' - like, 'What should I name my puppy? Storm, Ragnarok or Shazaam?') or are designed to simplify and sway the people reading it into fitting one of the categories.

I do think it's important to help other people... I was a girl guide as a kid, they made me promise to do that every week! :P I don't think that polls are the right thing for this group dynamic, but if you like them, there are plenty of other forums which use them. No one says you have to be forum-monogamous!

[Badtranny]

Yes. I feel obligated in the sense that we are all obligated to put a hand out to those traveling the path behind us. For most people and issues I only have opinions, but for those that are doing what I've done I would be remiss in not helping to hold the flashlight on occasion. I have learned many hard lessons during my transition and I would feel guilty if I didn't share them with those that may be interested. I am only one (bad)tranny who can only speak from my experience, but I owe it to the next girl to be honest.

I don't seek a Karmic return for my help but I would certainly expect one if I didn't even try.

[Badtranny]

There is a reason we can't discuss politics, why religion is relegated to its area, why we cannot give graphic details of our sexual (usually imagined) adventures..

LOL

I just love you lady.



...yuk not in THAT way!

[AlannahNorth]

Obligated to help - no, not at all. It's just a natural tendency from time to time - as do a lot of others here.

[Cari]

If I can I do - Its really the best way to help those who helped me along the way.

[Shananigans]

lol for some reason, I feel sort of like this is a poll!

So, no, I don't feel *obligated* to help people. However, I do just like to be help people...so, I just usually help people because I like to do it. It doesn't really matter if it's on this forum, or in person...I was raised to lend a helping hand whenever I can to a neighbor. I like to think of society as people helping each other out and looking out for each other...but, this is definitely not always true.

I also am a really bad liar, so honesty works best for me. I also don't have much of a filter, so I just kind of say things as they come...which, results in more honesty than most people actually bargain for...

I also participate in polls, because I think they are kind of fun. I like to give my opinion when people ask for it...and, often when not asked for it lol. And, like a lot of people, I enjoy talking about myself... So, yeah, polls are pretty fun sometimes.

[ReineD]

Another way. As in polls. They used to have them here, I understand and were eliminated for some reason. I believe that ALL folks participating in them could be made to be "honest". IF someone was forced to be honest in their participaion [if they CHOSE to participate] wouldn't polls offer a third leg of reliable, valid info to everyone?

Or would you not have any desire to participate in polls?

The polls were eliminated because in the more serious polls (we did have some fun polls too) where people would ask questions to specific groups of people, many of the members either disregarded the parameters and responded anyway thus rendering the poll meaningless, or they treated the whole thing as a joke.

Some people use this site for support or information. Other people are here to fantasize or have fun and they don't really care about the other stuff.

[kimdl93]

Not an obligation. If I think I have something of benefit to share or if a person is really hurting I'll try to help. But obligation...no.

[Cheryl T]

As the title says... "Crossdressers.com The #1 Community...." That alone says everything.
We are a community and as such we help each other. It's not an obligation, it's just what we do. That's why we are here.

[LeaP]

I don't think in terms of obligation, but helping others seems the right thing to do when I can, and considering how much help has been extended to me. I'm also mindful of the specialized nature of gender issues, that it is not something for which you can easily find knowledgeable assistance and advice.

[Nikki A.]

Not an obligation, but others have helped me and when possible I try to do the same.

[TGMarla]

Obligation? No. However, I think many of us here will try to contribute if their own experiences can somehow help someone else with any issues they may be having. But really, none of us have any kind of duty to do so if they choose not to.

[Wildaboutheels]

It was clearly a mistake to try to steer the thread to whether polls [with "resrtictive" guidelines] could be one more method of providing INFOrmation to people as to the "mysteries" of why ALL us crazy people sometimes need to put on the wrong clothes. No matter how often we do or just how far we might go to appear as or be treated as a female or how much money we might spend. The polls would be MAINLY beneficial to newbies or lurkers. And GGs of course. For a new person to see a list of perhaps 50 things and realize that perhaps 5, 10 or 15 are applicable to themself would have to make them a little more comfortable wouldn't it? Make them feel a little less alone or a little less worried that something is "wrong" with them for having their desires?

There are certain questions that never get asked here. Some OBVIOUS ones aren't there? Maybe they are against the rules or maybe few people would be willing to respond? I think most people agree that for most all of us there are multiple pieces to the puzzle that make up all of us. And how many of us here have not changed over the years? Are in a different place from where we started?

IF polls [survey might be a better term actually] were completly ANONYMOUS as in possibly one giant sticky or specific stickies for each Forum [a bad idea I think for several reasons] people would be more likely to admit or check boxes for their own particular "quirks". Things or thoughts they are unwilling or unwanting to disclose in threads with their name attached. THE poll or polls would simply say started by Site. Many initial questions would be obvious choices such as 1] How long have you been Crossdressing with a-d or a-f for possible answers. No writing allowed/space for it. Just tick off any boxes that apply to you. Newbies or guests could VIEW this survey but could NOT take it or contribute to it unless and until they joined and had posted let's say 20 times. That should keep out most of the teenagers and riffraff with too much time on their hands just looking to cause trouble.

In the beginning members could all contribute to a pool of questions and admin/the Mods could decide which ones would make the cut as to the final product. Maybe one day a month [?] additional questions to be added to survey [or removed] could be SUGGESTED by memebers but in a regular thread.

Again, this would mostly benefit new members and might help entice some to join.

[NicoleScott]

No obligation to help.
I hope that helps.