Some Stared, Some Laughed, and Some Made Fun of Me. But I Don't Care!

[Anne2345]

I love pedicures. I simply love them. Few activities are as simple, yet as validating and enjoyable, as receiving a nice, long, relaxing pedicure.

I schedule pedicures with regularity, and I look forward to each and every one. My nail tech, who owns the salon I visit, is a fantastic woman who treats me no differently than any other female client. She works magic with my toes, puts me at complete ease, and allows me to be myself, speak my mind, and express myself. She is a kind, gentle, beautiful soul that loves life in all of its glorious, magnificent facets.

And once again, one week ago, she performed the seemingly impossible – she transformed what are otherwise average blah man toes into something entirely different. Through her efforts, she instilled and imparted an obvious and beautiful sense of femininity, color, and art unto my toes that I love, love, love. She is truly magnificent at her craft, and I appreciate greatly all that she does for me.

BUT, the thing is, I am no longer happy keeping such things to myself. I want to share the beauty of her work with the world, whether the world cares to appreciate it or not.

As such, every opportunity I have had alone to be out and about in the outside world over the past week, I have done so wearing open toed sandals. I have visited grocery stores, convenience stores, gas stations, restaurants, retail stores, and several malls, for example.

During this time, my confidence has grown immensely. I have walk around in shorts, which more than expose and show off my long, shaved, smooth feminine legs, followed by the wearing of open toed sandals that display my femmed out toes.

And I was doing well, too, until I started noticing the stares. Slowly but surely, the more who noticed my toes, the more who stared, talked, and pointed. To these people, I simply smiled back, and moved on. In fact, I kind of thought it was funny, in some disturbing way.

Earlier today, however, in a mall I was visiting, I was subjected to several attacks by teenage girls who felt some need to stalk me down, point me out, laugh, and make fun of me because of my toes and legs. These girls were mercilessly mean. They exhibited a complete lack of understanding, caring, and compassion. Put another way, these girls lacked complete human decency and respect for their fellow man (woman). It was a shameful display of discrimination and taunting. Yet there it was, and I was on the receiving end of these attacks.

The thing is, though, that this was not unexpected. Rationally, even though I had yet to experience a negative reaction from another, and given that I am increasing my exposure in the public arena, I knew such attacks would eventually occur. And in as much as I have anticipated such an occurence, I thought that would take the sting out of it all. It did not. The attacks hurt. The attacks saddened me. But the attacks did nothing to lessen my resolve and dedication. To say the least, this week has been a learning experience for me.

But what exactly is it that I have learned from this week’s experiences? Quite frankly, though, I am genuinely surprised how much attention my painted toes and shaved legs have garnered throughout my travels this week - I thought at most someone here and there would notice them, and that would be it. But it has been soooo much more than that.

What really gets me, though, is that out of the thousands and thousands of people I have been around this week, despite all the stares, looks, pointing, laughing, and talking behind my back, not one random person has come up to me and said “Your nails are beautiful,” or “I really like you pedi.” Not one. If I let that get to me, it would be kind of depressing.

If, however, I let any of this get to me, though, it would be depressing. The thing is, I ain’t going to let that happen. These people are not capable of bringing me down. I am me, goddammit!!!! It has taken me my entire adult life time to recognize how the hell I am, and I am not going to back away from it all now! So as far as I am concerned, they can keep staring, pointing, talking behind my back, and laughing at me. But it ain’t going to change one bit how I conduct business. I have worked too hard and too long to acquire the courage (such that it is) that I currently maintain. I will not allow some intolerant, misguided, perverse, uneducated, silly ignorant folk to strip this all away from me. I just will not allow that to happen.

Regardless, I love my toes. I am proud of my toes. I believe my toes are beautiful. And I want to share my toes with any who shall rise to the challenge of seeing me for the real, authentic, genuine person that I am, and appreciate me for the same. I know such people are out there. Or at least I have been led to believe they are. I continue to keep the faith, though. And I now believe in myself more than I ever have before . . . .

So I am going to continue shaving me legs. I am going to continue wearing open toed sandals that show off my pedis. I am going to continue going out dressed en femme when the opportunity presents itself.

Sure, though, I do not like being laughed at. I do not like being made fun of. But really, who the hell are those people anyways? I don’t know them, they don’t know me. So **** them, I say. They no longer hold the sway over me they once did. Nor will they ever again.

But when it comes right done to it, what I really think their problem may be, is that they were jealous of my pedi, and wanted one of their own. Maybe I am completely off-base on this observation, but here are some pics of my current pedi so that you may arrive at your own conclusion. Were they jealous of mine? Or were they right to make fun of my pedi? You be the judge . . . . .

[whowhatwhen]

**** 'em!

You have every right to express yourself and I admire your courage to do so.
:)

They're very pretty and again, **** 'em!
I wonder though, if they followed you doesn't that count as harassment?

Some people need to learn that it's not okay to harass people you don't like.

[Cynthia Anne]

My gosh girlfriend your toes are BEAUTIFUL! For sure they were JEALOUS! I'm even jealous! I'm so proud of the way you stand up for yourself! Hugs!

[Contessa]

Anne I have noticed you before and I think I have replied to you before. You are stunning in your avatar. No matter how tall you are or how stunningly feminine you are people will feel you are different. As you well are, I don't want to encourage you or discourage you cause of what others say or do. It is your life live it. Those feeling of discontent will go away and may not come back for a while. So don't concern your head that they aren't there. Those feelings put me in where I am. I carried a bag that was I thought secretly my purse now I carry a real purse. I do it in boy mode too. I may love purses like you love pedi's.

My life doesn't revolve around what someone else thinks. Cause I would not allow their life to revolve around what I think. However maybe I am wrong wearing woman's clothes but I feel great doing so. I am alive and am me. Although wearing clothes is necessary I don't think the kind you wear is what we should worry about.

Hey answer me this I would like to make the way for all of us crossdressers to be able to do wear what we want. Should I work at it or is it something I shouldn't worry about. I want to do it but don't think many would agree. What do you think girl.

Tess

[Launa]

Those people that laugh are lucky you don't kick them in the ass with those pretty toes.

[Thera Home]

My Dear Anne
Im sorry to hear of your expierence, your feet and toes are to die for and very beautiful. The young mean girls were just jealous and therefore trying to bring you down. Dont worry about thier juvenile behavior. You continue to walk proud and dont let any of these ignorant folks make you feel otherwise. Your a beautiful person and I would complement you on your pedi if I ever saw you in public

Thera

[sissystephanie]

Anne, your toes are absolutely beautiful!! I have been getting a manicure and pedicure every 2 weeks for several years. My fingers are always just a pale pink, but my toes are always some beautiful shade of red, sometimes with a design! The 2 girls in the shop know that I am a crossdresser, as do a lot of the customers since I frequently go in wearing a skirt and top!

Like you, I do like to show off my pretty toes! So I wear open toe sandals very often! I don't know where you live, but I live outside of Atlanta, Georgia in a real redneck area. The reason I mention this is that in all the years that I have been going out in public with my pedicure I have never once had anyone make a comment about my toes. Sure, people have looked at them and even taken a second look1 But no comments, ever! And at this point in my life, although I may be fully dressed enfemme, I will not be wearing any makeup or a wig!

Don't quit wearing your open toe sandals. Your toes are way too pretty not to be shown off!!

[Marleena]

Look at those toes! Friggin' awesome!

Anne there are lots of ******** out there. We can't let them ruin our lives. You're correct in not letting them get to you. I was just talking to my wife today about how people have changed. Nobody cares about anybody else out there. I remember the days when we could leave our homes and cars unlocked. I remember kids respecting their parents and elders. It's a friggin' mess and every man for himself.

Luckily this board is much better, the majority of the people here are cool. The bad ones that always wanted to argue, have the last word, or try to convince people that their POV is right are mostly gone. We care about each other here.

Those idiots out there don't know the wonderful person they're missing out on being friends with. You're awesome Anne, you really are and I'm glad you're my friend.

[Barbara Ella]

Oh no girl, don't you go kicking anyone in the ass with those beautiful nails. You don't want to risk injuring them one little bit.

I truly admire this philosophical development, and am beginning to feel the same in myself, although I lack the skills, and situation to go out in public to express them. I am beginning to see little things in my femme life that I am proud of - nothing like that pedi yet, but working on it - and if my situation could allow it, i would display them for all to see. Because in all humans, it is only the expression of our individual characteristics that we display to the public that differentiate us from each other. Every human does this daily by just going out and letting the world see them. We have a more unique situation in that who we are doesnt fit the expected, and thereby attracts more verbal comments than a normal cis gendered person would receive unless they were an outstanding specimen. Therefore, i believe we are close to outstanding specimens of the transgendered community to attract comments (well, at least your pedi certainly is)....lol

In this respect we are normal in that we want whatever we have that we treasure to be partaken of by society. And it is the exceptional ones that draw the most attention and ridicule, so yes, they were jealous, it is just the nature of the press-addled public brain to respond in that manner.

So girl, you keep on with those pedis, and you keep on letting them know what they are missing, and can never have. You've got it girl.

Hugs, Barbara

[Tracii G]

I love them who cares what others think anyway.
I dress my toes up all the time and will continue to do so.

[KellyJameson]

The double standards and hypocrisy surely exposes their ignorance because all you are asking is to have the same freedom to do with your body as they demand for themselves.

Can you imagine telling them they are not permitted to wear pants but only dresses or to make fun of them for something related to their appearance perhaps along the lines of body piercings,tattoos or any of a dozen others things people do to their bodies.

This is a problem of territoriality and by you having painted toes you encroached on their turf. It is interesting how those who scream the loudest about having their own personal freedom respected are the first to limit the freedom of others. They want it all for themselves and none for others, usually they are called tyrants and violence follows them like a shadow.

Make a youtube video and post it like the bus monitor video to expose these cowardly ignorant disgusting bullies.

Your courage is admirable Anne and through your courage you expose the hypocrisy of others and make room for for those not yet strong enough to become individuals and not members of some herd terrified of stepping out into the unknown and away from the mindless security of the group whose price of admission is their soul.

If someone wants to get me to stop painting my toe nails they better be willing to use violence because I absolutely hate hypocrites who think they have the right to control others like pieces of furniture so their perfect world is not spoiled.

All compromise is based on give and take, but there can be no give and take on fundamentals. Any compromise on mere fundamentals is a surrender. For it is all give and no take.
Mahatma Gandhi

[Jacqueline Winona]

Beautiful toes, Anne! You have the courage to match your conviction, very happy to hear that even though this mall event was so awful. There's no easy or surefire way to deal with mocking teenagers, and unfortunately it will probably happen again, but soldier on, friend! What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[larry]

Anne,
Think about this as you wonder why noone said you looked nice. If I saw you I would love to say how great your toes and legs looked. No big deal you say ?
Well how many times has it come up on this site that people do not like to be singled out or pointed out . It is a no win situation for a guy like me that happens to
appreciate a pretty GIRL !! Just maybe a lot of folks thought you looked great but did not want to say anything. If I had been there when those young girls were there I would have offered to buy you a cup of coffe. Now that would have given everyone a day to chat about. hehehe

[paulaloha]

Anne, you go girl! Let me just say that this really encouraged me just now! I have been shaving my legs for months... Well I haven't in 2 weeks and I was going to let my hair grow back out for my family reunion... I also got a pedi a few weeks ago with a friend and got a clear coat which I recently removed... Well I think I'm going to go ahead and shave my legs again and I may put another clear coat on my toes which I just buffed smooth... So they should shine rather well. My family is a slightly different issue as I do care what they think, but I think it will be good growing experience for all involved!

I might ditch the nail polish for that week though... Not sure they are ready for shaved body and painted nails. ;)

But I just wanted to say thanks for sharing this! And you are right about the people you don't know, **** em, they don't know you!

Thanks again!
Paula

[Unsuremayb]

I’m jealous to, they are beautiful, OH how I wish !!!!
I admire your resolve and you should be congratulated for your determination not to be swayed from your path by those un- thoughtful, unkind reactions. You may be going through a rough patch but stick with it girl, don’t let the B******ds grind you down.
By the way what was the reaction of other people around whilst this was going on ?

[mbmeen12]

Were they jealous of mine? Or were they right to make fun of my pedi? You
be the judge . . . . .
Shame on the young ladies who harassed you in a public place. The bus lady analogy was spot on, and failure to teach their children on empathy for other humans. I love the nails very pretty and detail is amazing.

[Anna Talyn]

I agree. Very pretty and good for you for being yourself. The hypocrisy is amazing and they may learn life the hard way at their pace. No need to kick anyone's arse as life does that well enough without our getting involved. I am jealous!

[Kathy4ever]

Luv the toes. She did a great job on them. I want that type of pedicure. One day!! Enjoy them and keep showing them off I'm proud of you.

[Kaz]

Anne, the toes are fabulous and if I had them I would want to flaunt them too! Sounds like it was a bad experience handled with the style and grace I would expect from you! There will always be idiots out there and I feel for you. This is exactly what I fear when I want to venture out. I rationalise it as people who are unable to deal with things outside their narrow view of the world. The only way their views will change is by exposure to a broader view that they see as 'normal' and I guess that means that we need to just get on with it so that it becomes 'normal'... what on earth am I saying? **** them I guess! And good on you... now I think I need to get out there today and show them as well!

[toering63]

I'm going to get my pedi today, they really relax me. Not sure what color they will be, but they will be polished. Have been out in sandals for quite a while. Will get some looks, but comments on how good they look make it worth it.

[Rebecca W.]

Dear Anne,

Your toes look fantastic! I like my pedicures too and you should see the crazy looks I get sitting in the chair having my nails painted a bright pink. I admire your strength and your ability to shrug off most of the comments and the looks that you have encountered.
Try a neon green or pink next time with sparkles.:)

The more that we test the waters to seek acceptance from others it will only help to build our confidence to try it more. If they see more men expressing their true inner feelings like you have done, it will make it more commonplace and therefore harder for them to single out one person anymore.

Be bold, be yourself and look pretty doing it. I really want to do the same thing and I will have to test the waters soon as I really would like to show off my pretty toes to the world. Thank you for sharing your story with all of us, it really will help to motivate more of us to do the same.

Good luck Anne, I am here, just like everyone else is on here to listen and to learn from everyone elses experiences and to also offer our support to help each other out.

Have a great weekend and be pretty too!

[MarcyRex]

WOw. Simply stunning. I'd be proud of them too. I am proud that you have done it so publicly.

[Noel Chimes]

You should have gone straight to mall security and had those rude, morons escorted out of the mall for harassment. The only way we can be on equal footing with the world is to force the laws of the land to work for us. We have a right to fair and equal treatment under the law. These mall rats need to learn that there are reprocoutions that go along with your actions.
Do not give up the ground you have conqured. This is one time a man said something profound " I don't like fighting for the same ground twice". General George Patton.

[ronda]

Hi Anne your pedi is fantastic and it is a shame that teenagers are subhuman that is just there nature. You are right to hold your head high and be proud of who you are you are a beautiful person. Hugs Ronda

[Sara Jessica]

The road to self-fulfillment is often such a unique & solitary one. Sometimes a fork taken is one which is obscured to others to the point where they might not even see it, let alone take a trip on it.

Your path Anne is clearly a unique one. I could never predict where it is taking you.

[Mollyanne]

Don't you ever back down on who you are!!!!!! Teenage girls are the worst offenders when it comes to hunting, taunting, cruelty and being obnoxious. Sometimes i think the people who point, stare and laugh do so because they don't have the balls to dress up themselves so they relieve their stress by bringing attention to others like us for relief.
Please don't kick anyone in the ass w/those beautiful toes sweetie you would difinetly ruin that pedi.

Molly

[steftoday]

First off: hi! Where have you been lately? It seems like it's been forever since you were around?

That being said; your pedi is lovely, and if I saw you in public at the mall, or anywhere else, I would have stopped and complimented you on your toes. It must be wonderful to have a nail tech like that.
I don't know if it's me, but people today just seem generally more rude. (At least that's my opinion.) I applaud your spirit and willingness to be yourself; good for you!

[stacycoral]

You said girl, it great you get enjoyment having your feet so pretty,YOU GIRL GO!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DeniseNJ]

In a way we are similar, I am tired of being the only one seeing my beautiful pedi, by the way yours looks fab. I too am pushing the limits and soon I will feel the attack . My legs are not comepletely smooth, tho I wish they were I have the hair trimmed so low it is almost invisable. Yes the other night I wore a off white pair of shorts and the girly flats , I had a more netural color but the Zebra design on the toe did pop out Yes I had been out in bright reds and pinks before but always wore long pants, it was my first time in public with shorts and girly flats, How I just want to wear a low heel or wedge with my pedi out in guy mode. I feel your pain and I hope to make your Boo Boo better by sharing (Your not alone0 Hugs Denise

[Marlana]

Anne,
I think your nails are pretty. I wish I had the courage to do what you have done and go as far as you have. You are right that other people will not break you. **** them too! As for the bitches at the mall, it's a shame that they put you through that, but in the end, it made you tougher and more confident. Sorry you had to endure that. Go show the world what a beautiful woman you are.

[Carlene]

Anne, your toes look terrific. I envy your resolve. Don't allow negative people to be a great influence in your life. Part of our gender journey is to continue softening our approach to others, develop a deeper tolerance, if you will. Your pedicure is pretty, as are you.

Carlene....:)

[Ally 2112]

First thing Anne, your toes are beautiful and so are you inside and out for not giving up .As we all know evertime we go out en femme there is the chance of running into rude immature people which is very sad .Not all teenagers are bad but obviosly these girls minds are fried on tween pop music and know no difference .Take care and don't give up :)

[Patrice_CD]

Those look fab Anne! Love the detail.

I've been going out with mine polished for a little over a year and in all that time I have had only one negative comment. It was from an older woman who said men have been coming into the salon she visits and have had their toes polished and she just didn't understand the reasoning and it wasn't right.

I get a lot of looks and then people come up and ask me about them and I have very positive feedback. Sometimes I'm sure I'm made fun of but so far it hasn't been to my face or within hearing distance. Plus I wouldn't care anyway. I have had guys even say they like them but that they don't have the balls to do what I do :) I wear my ladybugs proudly :)

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

Absolutely fabulous!! They should be shown off as a work of art. Your nail tech is magical. Keep doing what you are doing. To hell with anyone that doesn't like it.

[suchacutie]

Anne, it is truly wonderful that you are comfortable with yourself, and you do have just lovely toes! The pedicure enhances them terrifically as well! No reason to hide them!

[Sheren Kelly]

Ann,
I truly admire your courage in getting out there no matter what others think.
Your experience reminded me of the quote:
"The three stages of truth are Riddicule, Resistance and Self-Evidence"

Though you were harassed by a pack of immature and cruel girls, there will be a day in the future where a male expressing femininity will be as acceptable as tatoos on women today.

[Kate Simmons]

I figure if I got someone to laugh, I've done my job for the day Hon.:battingeyelashes::)

[kimdl93]

Those who stared and those who ridiculed have denied themselves the opportunity to look closely at your nails or at you. As a result they missed the beauty in both. It's rather sad that these young women in particular chose to harass you for being true to yourself. The day will come for each of them when the demands of conformity, demands for perfect hair,bodies and lives will overwhelm them. With greater maturity they'll perhaps recall a time when they pressed those demands for conformity that they later grew to reject.

[jennifer1958]

I have had both positive and negative experiences with my french pedicure toes. All of the nail salon staff have been great at a number of shops that I frequent. Generally, no one else but my wife and see the results, other than doctors and if a sales clerk ever peaks under the door when I am trying on dresses.

One day I forgot my crocs when I went to the Y to swim. I had gone to use the bathroom and someone must of seen my toes. When I came out of the pool there was note on the floor near my locker that said "your nail pairings are disgusting to look at".

That's okay, though, I plan to have my toes done again tomorrow.

Jennifer

[VeronicaMoonlit]

This thread makes me happy, and your toes look happy too! And beautiful.

Veronica

[Kaz]

Ann,
I truly admire your courage in getting out there no matter what others think.
Your experience reminded me of the quote:
"The three stages of truth are Riddicule, Resistance and Self-Evidence"

Though you were harassed by a pack of immature and cruel girls, there will be a day in the future where a male expressing femininity will be as acceptable as tatoos on women today.

I suspect that tattoos are now more female territory rather than male! There isn't much left that is truly male apart from facial hair and balding! :) Oh yeah and a few medical conditions!

We need to claim our territory! I followed Anne's lead... painted my toenails red (not with the pretty images though), put on my sandals and shorts and went to the supermarket... 2 things...

1) it rained
2) no-one noticed my toes!

!!!!!!!!!!!

[Kelly DeWinter]

Anne,

Although some might not agree, when you are in public, it's all fair game, if they want to stalk and harrass you, do the same to them, whip out the cell phone and start recordingand post it on youtube, mayby seeing their faces and remarks by a billion people will give them pause. who knows you might end up with $600,000 like that poor woman who was harrased on the bus. I'm with the other here who think it's time to start standing up for the same rights every one else has.

[STACY B]

Been saving this Baby for just the rite Time ,,,An what better time to use it than on one of my favorite subjects :D :D Olllllll Pedi ,,,My favorite thing to do other than Shoe shopping ! I know where ya coming from Sissta ! I had a little bit of a small bout my self .... A couple little chics ,,, Got to laughing at me in the store a couple day ago ,,But mind you I have girl hair ,, Thin brows with a hook em um ,, Girl glasses ,, An had on capris an girl socks an a tank top ,,An girl; sneekers ,, An they stalk an funned me ,,Butttttt waittt ,,,Justtttt for sa min ,,, Cuz Im half CRAZY anyway ,,, So I just looked um rite in the eye an puckered up an blew um a big Kiss an sent them crambleing away for mommy !!! LOL,,,,, An I wear open toe shoes too an with painted nails ,,But mine r black this time ,,But were kinda orange just a week ago .. But Im rite there with ya ,,Ya jus gotta take all the different things an happenings one at a time an deal with em differently ,,, Its not easy but what is ? Its a hell of alot easyer than not painting or not showing an not doing what ya wanted ,,,Cuz WE tried that an ya see how that ended up !! ,LOL,,,, So bring on the meenys ,,An little tweens that try an keep us down an want to make fun of a ol fat lady,,, Hell they will be grown an gone ,,Knocked up living in trailer part an we will still be buying those designer clothes an shoes ,,, So pucker up ladys Fat lady wanna be coming threw !!! :devil:

[ReineD]

I'm sorry the teenage girls were so mean. My SO (and many other members here) stay away from places where they and teenage boys (who can also be mean) congregate, namely the mall on Saturdays, although it is more difficult to avoid them now that school is out. Some children are not taught manners and they will not have the maturity to keep their opinions to themselves until they are adult.

Developing a thick skin is essential, but this does not mean the comments won't be hurtful. My SO feels the same way, and so do I when I hear them. I don't think I will ever stop feeling hurt ... except when I feel angry. :p

Quick question for you, simply because I don't like to make assumptions; you mention being out all week. Were you going out in male mode with perfectly shaved legs and pedicure and if so were you wearing feminine sandals, or were you presenting as Anne? People are not accustomed to seeing individuals who present as males and who incorporate something that is obviously feminine. If you were Anne, however, the extent of the rude remarks surprise me, although I do understand the stares if you were read. But I'll tell you my own secret: when I encounter the stares I tell myself these people are expressing a mild curiosity; they may not necessarily be judging us. Or, they may not know for sure whether my SO is male or female and they're just trying to figure it out. Or, (this is a good one), they are struck by her beauty. :)

The lack of compliments about your nails: yes, they are beautiful. But it is summer time and not unusual to see red and pink toe nails. Your toes do not stand out as being more beautiful than anyone else who paints them (sorry :p). The point I'm making is that having painted nails is particularly beautiful for you since you're mentally comparing them to your male looking toe nails. This is understandable. But, others don't see it through your lens. They just think "Oh, painted toenails with designs on them". And please Anne, as a friend and for your own peace fo mind I'm asking you to reconsider your theory that people are jealous. They really aren't.

:hugs:

[Lori B]

Anne..don`t let it eat at you,not worth it:hugs:.You pedi is great,,:)...my toes and my feet are like a science experiment gone horribly wrong:heehee:

[Jamie001]

Anne,

Your toes are so beautiful that you could be a foot model! Whenever I'm not at work, I wear open-toe women's sandals and my bright red toenails are proudly on display for everyone to see. I have never had a bad comment and usually get comments from women that they love my pedicure and choice of color.

I don't understand why people would laugh or make fun of you. After all, you see folks (male and female) walking around the mall with their bodies covered in tattoos and they don't get any comments. Why would you get comments for painted toes?

It seems that SissieStephanie and I have the same experience wearing painted toenails - nothing but compliments. I wonder if there is something else in your overall look/outfit that they are reacting to? Note the both SissieStephanie and I don't attempt to pass and appear to the public as guys wearing women' shoes and nail polish. I also wonder if you live in some really redneck area that is stuck in the 1950's?

If you do some googling for men wearing nail polish you will see that a lot of men including race car drivers, athletes, UFC fighters, married actors and others are wearing nail polish. It is really not a big deal anymore. It is like the first guys that wore earrings.

You should be very proud of your very pretty toes and they should be exposed in women's sandals as much as possible.

:hugs: Jamie

Wearing OPI Big Apple Red on my toes


I'm sorry the teenage girls were so mean. My SO (and many other members here) stay away from places where they and teenage boys (who can also be mean) congregate, namely the mall on Saturdays, although it is more difficult to avoid them now that school is out. Some children are not taught manners and they will not have the maturity to keep their opinions to themselves until they are adult.

Developing a thick skin is essential, but this does not mean the comments won't be hurtful. My SO feels the same way, and so do I when I hear them. I don't think I will ever stop feeling hurt ... except when I feel angry. :p

Quick question for you, simply because I don't like to make assumptions; you mention being out all week. Were you going out in male mode with perfectly shaved legs and pedicure and if so were you wearing feminine sandals, or were you presenting as Anne? People are not accustomed to seeing individuals who present as males and who incorporate something that is obviously feminine. If you were Anne, however, the extent of the rude remarks surprise me, although I do understand the stares if you were read. But I'll tell you my own secret: when I encounter the stares I tell myself these people are expressing a mild curiosity; they may not necessarily be judging us. Or, they may not know for sure whether my SO is male or female and they're just trying to figure it out. Or, (this is a good one), they are struck by her beauty. :)

The lack of compliments about your nails: yes, they are beautiful. But it is summer time and not unusual to see red and pink toe nails. Your toes do not stand out as being more beautiful than anyone else who paints them (sorry :p). The point I'm making is that having painted nails is particularly beautiful for you since you're mentally comparing them to your male looking toe nails. This is understandable. But, others don't see it through your lens. They just think "Oh, painted toenails with designs on them". And please Anne, as a friend and for your own peace fo mind I'm asking you to reconsider your theory that people are jealous. They really aren't.

:hugs:

Reine,

I don't agree with you on this one. I believe that I would draw more stares and comments fully crossdressed and obviously not passing as compared to my normal mode of a male wearing women's sandals and painted toenails.

Anne,

Please see the following blogs:

http://menwithpaintednails.blogspot.com/

http://polished-men.blogspot.com/

http://www.onegentsten.com/

[Sara Jessica]

...I followed Anne's lead... painted my toenails red (not with the pretty images though), put on my sandals and shorts and went to the supermarket... 2 things...

1) it rained
2) no-one noticed my toes!

!!!!!!!!!!!

and...

3) The world failed to explode.

Phew!


Reine,

I don't agree with you on this one. I believe that I would draw more stares and comments fully crossdressed and obviously not passing as compared to my normal mode of a male wearing women's sandals and painted toenails.

Reine was right on the mark with this one. A male presenting as female, if detected as such and if some semblance of effort is made, goes a long way to disarm the Muggles at first impression. That second impression could still be brutal but regardless, the first impression of a dude presenting with painted toes is still likely to attract unwanted attention. That's just the way it is these days. Yes, the jet-set and/or famous can get away with such eclectic behavior. Most dudes cannot, whether they want to (most don't) or not. And for a lot of us in TG land, adding painted toes to our other minor/major/temporary/permanent body mods (still ©VM) only makes our elephant that much more visible.

[Jamie001]

and...

3) The world failed to explode.

Phew!



Reine was right on the mark with this one. A male presenting as female, if detected as such and if some semblance of effort is made, goes a long way to disarm the Muggles at first impression. That second impression could still be brutal but regardless, the first impression of a dude presenting with painted toes is still likely to attract unwanted attention. That's just the way it is these days. Yes, the jet-set and/or famous can get away with such eclectic behavior. Most dudes cannot, whether they want to (most don't) or not. And for a lot of us in TG land, adding painted toes to our other minor/major/temporary/permanent body mods (still ©VM) only makes our elephant that much more visible.

Painted toes is not any different then men wearing earrings twenty years ago or men wearing long hair 40 years ago. It is all the same and unless we just get out there and dot it rather than saying that we can't do it and cowering in the corner, things will never change. Change is affected by action. That is the way that men made earrings and long hair acceptable. If you believe that only famous people can push the envelope, then we will never make progress. We just need to get out there an wear what we want to wear. That is how women earned their fashion freedom, but most men don't have the guts to do it.

Having painted toes is no different then having tattoos. People will also comment and have their opinions on tattoos.

[Sophia Claire]

I'm jealous of your toes! I have weird "piano toes"... I doubt I'll ever be comfortable with my toes, although I've been meaning to get a pedicure, I've been afraid to, since one never had one and I'm ashamed to say that I don't take as much care of my feet as I very well should.

[ReineD]

Reine,

I don't agree with you on this one. I believe that I would draw more stares and comments fully crossdressed and obviously not passing as compared to my normal mode of a male wearing women's sandals and painted toenails.

There's no "one rule fits all" here, since there is such a wide range of variables depending on what someone looks like and where they live. I'm not saying you (I don't know what you look like), but I agree that some guy who looks like Homer Simpson and who wears a dress would get stared at. This is not Anne's situation though.

Unless someone hangs out in LGBT friendly sections of larger cities or they move among the cutting edge creative crowds, men who present as men do get stared at when they wear obviously feminine things. You posted a few blogs from men who wear polish (the first looked like she was a CDer), but this is not a reflection of current attitudes about this. Most people aren't used to seeing mixed gender cues and their brains don't know what to do with this information. :p

Also we can't take an absence of comments as universal acceptance. Most people (other than teenagers) keep their opinions to themselves.

Anne: you're inspiring me to paint my own toes now. I think I'll do this tomorrow. :)

[Eryn]

Anne: you're inspiring me to paint my own toes now. I think I'll do this tomorrow. :)

Pictures! Pictures!

It is true that one size definitely does not fit all. I personally would be uncomfortable showing off toes in colored polish in male mode. OTOH a quick visual poll of what GGs are wearing on their toes leads me to believe that color is almost required during sandal season so I almost always paint my nails before going out en femme.

I made an exception today because I was invited to visit a museum en femme and had another commitment right after that in drab. I went with clear polished toes that work in both modes because I only had a limited time to switch modes. It worked, but I sure missed having colorful toes!

[Jamie001]

Men wearing nail polish is the same as men wearing earrings 20 years ago. If you read any of the men wearing nail polish blogs you will learn that if you wear nail polish, you need to wear it confidently. Nothing draws more attention that a person walking around like a scared rabbit. If you do this, folks will know that something is up and will stare at you. On the other hand, if you wear you polish confidently and just go about you business, you will not receive reactions. The only reactions that I have received are compliments. SissyStephanie has also received the same reactions and she is wearing polish in a very redneck area. The way to gain acceptance is to push the envelope in male mode very confidently and not care what other folks think. Women have done this for years and it is the reason that they can wear items from male fashion.

[k lynn]

Pretty toes love the look and color keep showing them off I admire you.

[Voulez-Vous]

But when it comes right done to it, what I really think their problem may be, is that they were jealous of my pedi, and wanted one of their own. Maybe I am completely off-base on this observation, but here are some pics of my current pedi so that you may arrive at your own conclusion. Were they jealous of mine? Or were they right to make fun of my pedi? You be the judge . . . . .

No, I don't think they were jealous. They were making fun of you because you're a guy and you have very girly feet.
It's that simple.

[bimini1]

You should have gone straight to mall security and had those rude, morons escorted out of the mall for harassment. The only way we can be on equal footing with the world is to force the laws of the land to work for us. We have a right to fair and equal treatment under the law. These mall rats need to learn that there are reprocoutions that go along with your actions.
Do not give up the ground you have conqured. This is one time a man said something profound " I don't like fighting for the same ground twice". General George Patton.


Had she done that then she would have probably been the one getting escorted out of there. Well, I will say this, you've got some beautiful toes and some thick skin!

[RainyNightGirl]

I love your toes, they look great. Your avatar also shoes a beautiful woman....and you now have the toes to match.

I am going on vacation soon, into pools and beaches and I have no intention of removing my toe polish (bright pink), so I will see what is said..or not.

Hugs
Natasha
x

[Gaby2]

Well... they probably weren't jealous, Anne... if all those people had had any sense... they should have been!
Your OP has lots of fascinating aspects in it... and your pictures are a treat.
I'm really proud of you!
Gaby :hugs:

[Wildaboutheels]

The Reality is, teenagers in general, and females in particular are probably among THE most clueless of Humans roaming the planet. Of course we were all teenagers at one time...

Thankfully, most of them, outgrow their insecurities, heightened I believe during those years, by their raging hormones.

Nice toes btw and good for you for ignoring them. Next time you encounter clueless teenagers or anyone for that matter, just give them your best smile and mouth the words "Thank You" to them. That usually wipes the smirks off their faces.

An aside, is that you will rarely see such a behavior from a lone teen.

[brenne]

Anne, you have very nice toes dahling. :) Anyone says otherwise, just use the toes for walking away. - BrendaB.

[zorianacd]

Were you presenting en femme or drab when those teenagers attacked you?

[Anne2345]

I really appreciate all of the fantastic responses, compliments, and kind words!!! :) Reading through it all, I have smiled much, and been touched deeply. Just to clarify, though - I do not really think anyone was jealous. My statement was an attempt at humor, as dry as my sense may be at times. :-P

Regardless, the experience, both the good and the bad, was quite positive. I proved to myself that I could do it, and I proved to myself that I could remain true to me. In the grand scheme of things, this may not be such a big deal. But to me now, to the person I currently am, and more importantly the person I hope to be, this exercise was a big deal . . . .

Anne :)

[Ms Mira]

Cute toes! :)

I'm sure you can't help but be a little taken aback when something like being openly laughed at happens. But, accepting and loving yourself as you are is a strong foundation and lets you bounce back from any hate the world may throw your way.

Keep rocking those toes girl.

[Beverley Sims]

I am sorry Anne,
Young teenage girls are the savages in this world of ours and they hunt in packs.
Most accept us and we think we are fine, but, walk past a YTAG. and see if you can really pass.
From your post I was not sure wether youwere en femme or partly dressed.
With a pedicure on show I would want to be dressed.
Shaved legs are not the worry even in short shorts.
I think the pedi set them off.
My legs are hairless and I have worn a polo shirt, lemon, short short shorts and androgynous sandals in male mode in Key West without problem.
They do accept everything down there.:)

[Jamie001]

We should continue to display our brightly painted toenails in both male and girl mode. Men wearing nail polish is becoming a trend and eventually it will be like earrings. I'm sure that the first guys that wore earrings had the same experience with teenage girls.

[EllieOPKS]

I agree that a pedi is one of the pleasures of life. But honestly Anne, did you expect anything other than what you received? We all agree that in this microcosm of a forum what you did was no big deal but you go to a very public display with the desire for people to see your nail polish and get upset because they do just that but don't necessarily agree with you. There's a proper time and place for everything unless you like being controversial.

[Jamie001]

I agree that a pedi is one of the pleasures of life. But honestly Anne, did you expect anything other than what you received? We all agree that in this microcosm of a forum what you did was no big deal but you go to a very public display with the desire for people to see your nail polish and get upset because they do just that but don't necessarily agree with you. There's a proper time and place for everything unless you like being controversial.

Sometimes it is necessary to be controversial. Why should a little thing like nail polish be a big deal? After all it is just paint! I see a lot of folks walking around on the city streets and in mall that are tattooed all over their bodies. Both males and females with their arms, legs, and sometimes even the neck covered in multiple colorful tattoos. It is not a big deal and therefore nail polish is not a big deal. The folks that are covered in tattoos exude confidence and they don't care what anyone else thinks. If you want to do something that is out of the ordinary, then you must show complete confidence. If you lack confidence and look like a scared rabbit, folks will notice and they will wonder what you are up to. It will draw attention and stares. It would happen no matter how you are dressed. When women starting wearing items from male fashion such as pants and many other items, they just went out there and did it with complete confidence. Yes many of those women took some criticism for it, but that is what is required to affect change. The same is true for men that started wearing earrings. At first they were ridiculed for wearing earrings, but now it has become commonplace and even NFL Football Players wear earrings. It is all what you make of it and how you go about it. I would not suggest wearing bright nail polish to work, but when you are not at work, you can certainly expose you painted nails. Men that started wearing earrings did the same. They didn't wear earrings at work, but when they were away from work, they put the earrings back in. If you don't try to affect change then it may never happen. You can help affect change by proudly wearing feminine items in male mode. We can all be part of the solution as we attempt to achieve gender equality by pushing the envelope of fashion.

[kimdl93]

....Regardless, the experience, both the good and the bad, was quite positive. I proved to myself that I could do it, and I proved to myself that I could remain true to me. In the grand scheme of things, this may not be such a big deal. But to me now, to the person I currently am, and more importantly the person I hope to be, this exercise was a big deal . . . .

Anne :)

This is a big deal. Each step is a big deal. In retrospect they may seem minor, but they are not. Facing challenges, dealing with disappointments, and trying again...that's is how we build confidence and self esteem.

[My Lady Marsea]

Wut you've done is like a beginning point of "owning it". As you carry this through you will so totally reach the point where you "own" your whole look and are so kewl and confident, almost nobody questions it any longer. It's like others sense the total F you attitude you expressed with your nails and life becomes so much more better. You have arrived. .

[EllieOPKS]

Sometimes it is necessary to be controversial. Why should a little thing like nail polish be a big deal? After all it is just paint! I see a lot of folks walking around on the city streets and in mall that are tattooed all over their bodies. Both males and females with their arms, legs, and sometimes even the neck covered in multiple colorful tattoos. It is not a big deal and therefore nail polish is not a big deal. The folks that are covered in tattoos exude confidence and they don't care what anyone else thinks. If you want to do something that is out of the ordinary, then you must show complete confidence. If you lack confidence and look like a scared rabbit, folks will notice and they will wonder what you are up to. It will draw attention and stares. It would happen no matter how you are dressed. When women starting wearing items from male fashion such as pants and many other items, they just went out there and did it with complete confidence. Yes many of those women took some criticism for it, but that is what is required to affect change. The same is true for men that started wearing earrings. At first they were ridiculed for wearing earrings, but now it has become commonplace and even NFL Football Players wear earrings. It is all what you make of it and how you go about it. I would not suggest wearing bright nail polish to work, but when you are not at work, you can certainly expose you painted nails. Men that started wearing earrings did the same. They didn't wear earrings at work, but when they were away from work, they put the earrings back in. If you don't try to affect change then it may never happen. You can help affect change by proudly wearing feminine items in male mode. We can all be part of the solution as we attempt to achieve gender equality by pushing the envelope of fashion.

Jamie I agree with you that sometimes you need to be controversial. I am just saying that there is no reason to whine if you don't get the results you want. Earrings, tattoo's, piercings, clothes, paint, eye make up, hair styles, and so on are on my "I could care less" list. The only thing I absolutely hate is seeing a male professional athlete with hair pouring out from under his helmet. But that's just me. I would not comment to the individual because there is no gain to be made, but again that's just me.

I have a pink polo shirt I some times wear to work and occasionally get comments. For the love of Pete, it's only a color , but I am not surprised if someone reacts in a negative or joking manner. Trend setting rarely starts with an individual making a sachet to the mall, it usually starts with a fashion designer or celeb. You go Johnny Depp with that cool eye makeup!

[Anne2345]

But honestly Anne, did you expect anything other than what you received? We all agree that in this microcosm of a forum what you did was no big deal but you go to a very public display with the desire for people to see your nail polish and get upset because they do just that but don't necessarily agree with you. There's a proper time and place for everything unless you like being controversial.


I am just saying that there is no reason to whine if you don't get the results you want.

Had I known there was a "proper time and place" for doing such things as wearing nail polish in public, perhaps I could have saved everyone the trouble and simply worn socks and shoes. I should have thought of that before. What the heck was I thinking??!! How silly of me!!!

And to think, I have done nothing but "whine" about it ever since. What's funny, though, is that I thought I was writing about my experiences, thoughts, perceptions, feelings, and emotions, and putting it all out here for discussion, debate, and comment. I was unaware that I was "whining" about it, instead. Totally my bad . . . .

[Debglam]

Annie, your toes ROCK!!!! Just beautiful! Ok, here comes the unsolicited advice. . .

First, do not let strangers, or anyone else to an extent, affect your mood! The girls had the issue, not you! Don't even let it put a shadow on a lovely, fun day!

Second, the teens. Owning a couple myself, I have a little insight into this. Teenage girls are as fragile and insecure as a house of cards. They often bolster themselves with this kind of cruel, pack behavior. What you need to remember is that it is all bluster (unless you are truly dealing with juvenile delinquents!) Approaching them with a big smile and saying something like "I'm glad that you like my toes. Pretty, huh?" would likely collapse the facade and sent them mumbling and scurrying off. I was in a Sephora once and a group of teen girls were whispering and giggling, clearly at my loveliness! We came face-to-face and I gave them a big lipstick smile and said hello. Their initial reaction (utter shock) was priceless and they said "hello" and disappeared.


Reine,

I don't agree with you on this one. I believe that I would draw more stares and comments fully crossdressed and obviously not passing as compared to my normal mode of a male wearing women's sandals and painted toenails.


Jamie, I think I'm with Reine on this one. My personal experience has been that what little hassles I've had have been when I have been in "feminine" spaces while drab. People tend to notice the male-female differences or the gender "transgressions" more than they do passing or not, IMHO.

Oh yeah, OPI "Yodel Me On My Cell" on my toes! (Seriously, how do I get the job of naming nail polish?)

[RebeccaLynne]

Earrings, tattoo's, piercings, clothes, paint, eye make up, hair styles, and so on are on my "I could care less" list.

They're on my "couldn't care less list", as well. Expressions of individuality are a right each of us owns.


The only thing I absolutely hate is seeing a male professional athlete with hair pouring out from under his helmet.

First thing that came to mind is Clay Matthews... an outstanding NFL linebacker giving his all to "bring it"; he's all man and wears his hair long, as do many counter-culturist anti-authoritarian players of the most awesome sport in the civilized world.

I have hair which hasn't been cut in over six years... and I flaunt it everyday as a male. Just don't make the mistake of calling me out on it... I'm on a hair trigger! :devil:


Had I known there was a "proper time and place" for doing such things as wearing nail polish in public, perhaps I could have saved everyone the trouble and simply worn socks and shoes. I should have thought of that before. What the heck was I thinking??!! How silly of me!!!

And to think, I have done nothing but "whine" about it ever since. What's funny, though, is that I thought I was writing about my experiences, thoughts, perceptions, feelings, and emotions, and putting it all out here for discussion, debate, and comment. I was unaware that I was "whining" about it, instead. Totally my bad . . . .

Anne, the proper time and place is now, and everyday going forward. Your pedicure is beautiful, and you've every right to show it off.

There's no "whining" in your thread, just an expression of freedom to be yourself for which many have made the ultimate sacrifice. So please don't let those who would impose their narrow-minded attitudes dissuade you from expressing yourself.

I'm a veteran, and I've got your back. 'Cause they'll never take back what we've won. :straightface:

[Amanda22]

Hi Anne. Thanks for sharing your experience. I dropped off a prescription at my drive-up pharmacy window and handed the pharmacy technician my empty bottle. I have opaque pink polish that is really, really noticeable. The 20-something technician asks with all the tact and subtlety of a 5-year-old, "Are you wearing nail polish??" I said, "yes." She shook her head really obviously like she was disgusted. I was pissed at her for judging me, but I got over it quickly.

The fact is, I recently came to a point when I stopped caring what people think. It wasn't a conscious effort or anything that I can claim to have accomplished. I just noticed that I began to feel very much relaxed and at peace with myself when dressed en femme. I really don't even notice if anyone is looking at me, staring, or whatever. I'm very lucky in this respect. It feels so natural now and is definitely what I've always desired.

[Kelli<3]

I admire you for showing them off in public but I'm not surprised at what happened, especially when it comes to teenage girls. I think your pedicure looks nice. Getting a full pedicure like yours is one thing I have never done but would love to do, maybe I will some day.

This weekend my wife gave me a pedicure and painted my toes bright red. I think she did a great job and I actually like how they look, but unfortunately they have been hidden in men's socks and shoes since. I thought about posting a picture on here but didn't. You are way ahead of me on accepting yourself for who you are and not being afraid to express yourself. I wouldn't let the comments and stares get you down.

[Noemi]

Anne,

Pretty Tootsie's. Popsicle toes Baby!!

Seemingly the people that react that hard, and harass, have emotional issues that you/we are triggering.

The young girls are insecure. They have been handed a censored picture of the world, one made of glass(a touch of the dramatic). And you shattered it.

Your pretty toes told them that their is more than man and woman in the world. And they could not handle it, the girls needed to create drama to run from their fear.

Teens create drama because they are insecure. They do not want to view what lies ahead of them, or they have no other things to occupy them. Or emperically, are starved for experiences and want to see what happens.

So what I am saying is that obviously you are the protagonist in this story but the reactions have nothing to do with you, so do not take them in too deeply.

The more you look at it the more it will disappear. The truth will set you free etc

Are you presenting as a woman? Or a man with shaved legs and pretty toes.
I wonder if....oh well.

I am rooting for you Anne. And am your sister. I love to feel fem too and always have painted toes.

♥♥♥
Noemi

[GingerLeigh]

Ahhhhh....an Anne post FINALLY!

I like the pool! Oh, the toes are nice too. With this unforgiving heat wave..the pool would be nicer though. Never had a pedicure so I can't relate but I notice people looking at my shaved legs. I don't give a rat's a$$ either. I got nicer legs than most women (and men) my age so...yeah they're jealous I guess. No cottage cheese or spider veins! Hair on legs is soooo overrated!

Ginger