Little Confused

[SerenityQueen]

Hi All,

I just wanted some feedback, GG feedback would be awesome, but any will do.

I do not dress in front of my wife, because she does not like this, but she is ok with me dressing. Recently she said it is ok if I wear lingerie all day. Which made me extremely happy :)

Last night we were sitting on the couch watching TV, I was bored with what she was watching so I browsed my Facebook and came on a cool clothing site. So I checked it out. My wife asked me what I was doing and I told her. Her response was: "Seriously? Aren't you getting a bit obsessive?"

I love trawling websites for clothes, shoes and lingerie. Even if it is only too look. Am I being obsessive? Am I being over sensitive?

I just dunno, I feel like it's one step forward and four back again.:sad:

[Karren H]

I agree with your wife.... obsessive is the correct word for it... my wife says im obsessive all the time... and she's right....

[Chari]

It is a long journey, although sometimes a bit slow, to reach the gender point that makes you comfortable and confident in who you are. Dressing and keeping up with the fashion scene are just other adventures. Enjoy.

[Jorja]

You have to understand, while your wife doesn't mind you occasionally getting dressed up just for fun, She did not sign on for this. To her more that once is obsessive. Her MAN is just that, a man. I am not saying there is anything wrong with dressing. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with looking at clothing on websites. To the average female it is quite odd that a man would do it is all I am saying. What do you think she would have said if you told her you were looking at guns, or tools, or fishing equipment?

[Jacqueline Winona]

I don't know enough to tell if you're truly "obsessive" or just like eeveryone else, but your wife's point of view is a little easeir to figure out. Her perspective is always going to be different- She thinks dressing should be done rarely if at all, so if she thinks you're spending most of your free time dressing, and then sees you browsing for more clothes when you're not dressed, to her you're getting way too involved with dressing. She's trying to be subtle, hoping you will agree with her that you should spend less time looking at or wearing women's clothes. That's just one member's interpreation an d I could be totally wrong, but I'm familiar with hints like that. :)

[SerenityQueen]

Thanks for the insight gurls.

Just a few extras:
I was not actually browsing for clothing. I rarely buy, as it is always an issue.
Same with shoes. So I have one pair that she bought for my bday.


@Jorja she probably would not have said anything, but then again I just can't do it. I have to be completely honest with her at all times.

[ronda]

well if your wife bought you shoes that says she is more excepting then you think you just have to move foward at her pace the fact that she got the shoes is a big thing my wife would not have bought me a shoe string that was fem so work with her move slowly she will work with you as she get comfortable with all of it Hugs Ronda

[Cynthia Anne]

I think Ronda has said it all! Progress is great at her speed! Hugs!

[kimdl93]

perhaps so. The question might be whether the obsessive behavior is adversely affecting other aspects of your life. Lots of people have obsessive behaviors and most are just interesting quirks, like collecting action figures. Its only a problem if you start neglecting more important parts of your life.

[Beverley Sims]

Sometimes progress is like that, two steps forward and one backward.
Try progressing a little more slowly.
You don't have to lie when asked a question but sometimes too much information can be damaging.

[RainyNightGirl]

From your wife's point of view it may be going beyond her comfort point. She really needs time to get used to this. But from another CD's perspective you are not obsessing, wait till you fly completely within the pink cloud.

Hugs
Natasha

[reb.femme]

Last night we were sitting on the couch watching TV, I was bored with what she was watching so I browsed my Facebook and came on a cool clothing site. So I checked it out. My wife asked me what I was doing and I told her. Her response was: "Seriously? Aren't you getting a bit obsessive?"

I love trawling websites for clothes, shoes and lingerie. Even if it is only too look. Am I being obsessive? Am I being over sensitive?

I love trawling web sites, can't help myself and I too wonder if I am being taken by the pink fog.

Your wife is OK with some under dressing but it's the next step she is probably fearful of. Some never get their heads totally around this aspect of our lives, Mine is accepting but sometimes you can see she isn't totally pleased. I think that part is called marriage. :heehee:

Just maybe put the anchors on whilst she is around. I'm assuming, she hasn't had the same amount of time to get to grips with your CDing, that you have. As is always said, small incremental steps toward the ultimate goal.

Hope things remain good for you and beware the pink fog.

Rebecca x

[Mimi]

SerenityQueen--I don't think you were being obsessive unless you are spending so much time on those sites that it is affecting your daily life. To me, it seems more like she's worried that you will want to take your dressing farther, or want to buy the items, and is letting you know that she isn't pleased by seeing you demonstrate an interest in CDing. It's great that you can underdress, but if she isn't ready to see you dressed, then she probably isn't ready to see you do other activities that remind her that you dress.

That said, I think you should have the right to look at whatever websites (within obvious reason) you would like to visit. But maybe keep her feelings in mind as well, and perhaps not spend time on the lingerie pages while she is sitting right next to you. On the other hand, you don't want to make it seem like you are only spending time on these sites when she isn't around, which gives the appearance of doing things behind her back. You could talk to her about it--thank you for letting you underdress, assure her you don't want to purchase these items or wear them in front of her, but that you do enjoy looking at fashion. De-mystify it for her by explaining that you like looking at clothes and shoes because you enjoy the fashions, not necessarily because you want to wear them or buy them or are ogling the models.

[SerenityQueen]

Thank you all. Bin quite good to see your responses.

I talked to her last night and it seems it was more the fact that I was on my phone that was the issue *rolls eyes* This said, whilst she was on her phone at that moment playing sudoku.
I wonder if we don't sometimes read too much into other people's actions, instead of just letting them explain it too us.

I do not think I am obsessive, as that was the first time I did it in her presence.
and I was looking at shoes, so many beautiful shoes... I'm addicted to shoes. ;)
@Mimi - But what if I do want ALL the shoes? :)

[STACY B]

Tell ya what do ! Just STOP looking at all that stuff on the net ,, An do what I do ,,,Go to the store an look ,,,lol,, Naaaa ,,I think what happens is all woman think that all CDs want to transition ,,, An if ya give um an inch they will take 10 miles ,, True in my case ,,But thats another story ,, Most CDs are happy just haveing some girl stuff . Only Some of US go the EXSTREMES ,,,LOL,,, Most are just fine with a few things . Most of us cant comment on looking on the net all the time cuz look at us we stay on here ? Just like Renie said the other day most CDs dont EVER come out ,, So whats the ODDS ,, If ya got some stuff yull get bored an just do it from time to time an end up just doing man stuff mostly . This exstreme CDing is TUFF STUFF ,,Not for everyone ,,Beleave it or not all you wanna be's its harder than you think . Ask alot of the chix that do it all the time ? So ya betta watch out what ya wish for this aint no sport this is WORK ,,,,