Struggle within

[Lacy75]

Thats not only the name of a good Metallica song,its also what i feel everyday.Up until yesterday i had had a beard and mustache for probably 10 years.I decided to get rid of it and see what i think.Its definately different.Its hard for me because my desire to be a woman is only equaled by my desire to not let my family or friends know.I am not sure if i can settle for a little womens clothes here and there,or maybe someday i will flip out and go full blown Chick!It still blows my mind that whatever created me gave me a mans body,and a womans mind.I am in limbo right now,i have so many choices to make!One thing is for sure though,i will never totally give up womens clothes.The question is,will i expand,will i grow,will i ever go all the way.The thing that makes that unlikely for now is that i have no one around me in real life who i can share this with.I need a "girlfriend" to chill with.To share everything about this wacky way of life with.Well,i hope all are doing good!
Bye for now,,Lacy

[Megan_Renee]

I think we all feel sympathetic to what you're dealing with. I was just reflecting on when I was a little (girl) boy on how much I wanted to play dress-up and my-little-pony, but I was a boy, so I couldn't.

My father is extremely homophobic / bizzairiphobic. I know he would blow a stack if he knew. My mom would try to understand, but still resent me. So I would dress when I could and just live my life.

I hope you find some answers...

[TGMarla]

I need a "girlfriend" to chill with.To share everything about this wacky way of life with.

Well, Lacy, we're your girlfriends for right now. I think we all can relate to how you feel. I had a moustache for over 15 years until I finally just couldn't take it any more. I hated being "The Bearded Lady" like I was a circus side show. More power to you, g'friend. If you need to talk, ponder, bitch, or vent, we're here for you.

[Lacy75]

Thanx to both of you for your support!Even though i have wanted to be a oman my whole life,its always been just my knowledge.Joining this group is definately having an effect on me.This has all happened so fast,one day i was all alone and hadnt even thought to find some people like myself.Now,here i am!I hope that whatever comes from being in this group is a good thing.Either way,everyones been real sweet.So,I am glad i made this step!Bye
Lacy

[Vivian Best]

Thanx to both of you for your support!Even though i have wanted to be a oman my whole life,its always been just my knowledge.Joining this group is definately having an effect on me.This has all happened so fast,one day i was all alone and hadnt even thought to find some people like myself.Now,here i am!I hope that whatever comes from being in this group is a good thing.Either way,everyones been real sweet.So,I am glad i made this step!Bye
Lacy

Lacy,

Personally I think you could bring just about any problem to this group of gurls and get answers. Speaking just for myself you have a lot of friends here and you should use them. We've got experience, knowledge and suggestions. Please feel free to pm me if you want to just talk.

Vivian:rose2:

[Lacy75]

I am a little un educated in any ways of comunication on the internet except for e mail.I would like to learn how to talk in some other ways to.So,if you want to tell me what pm is,i would appreciate it!4 give me for being computer illiterate!Bye
Lacy

[Vivian Best]

I am a little un educated in any ways of comunication on the internet except for e mail.I would like to learn how to talk in some other ways to.So,if you want to tell me what pm is,i would appreciate it!4 give me for being computer illiterate!Bye
Lacy

Hi again Lacy,

Glad you ask about pm. It is a personal mail feature of this forum. On the dark blue banner at the top of the Crossdressers page is User CP. User CP is the panel where you set up your avatar. On the left side of that page is a send message option. I think once you get that far the remainder is pretty easy. If you have problems let me know.

Vivian:rose2:

[christine55]

When I first shaved my face many years ago there was definately some angst. It is not only suit and tie types who dont wear facial hair. Many many
very good musicians, very macho actors remain unshaven. I live in Idaho, and kind of look at it in male mode that I don't want to look like everyone else.
Hugs, Christine

[Kimberly]

The question is,will i expand,will i grow,will i ever go all the way.
Only you really know the answers to these questions. The good thing is: you're in control.

I'm in the same situation - I basically wanna be "out" now, but something is stopping me. No... many things are stopping me! My peers, my family - or to put it another WAY, my FEAR.

We all fear a negative reaction to coming out fully, so I can only really hand over the replying to the more experienced and "out there" girls.

good luck with everything xx

[Lacy75]

Yes,fear is a big thing!

[paulaN]

Hi lacy. I know how you feel. I think we all can relate in some way. 30 years ago when I was in the same boat, different time. I had no one to talk too so consider yourself lucky to have the internet today. this forum has helped me so much, to understand myself. thank god for the sisters here. Take your time in any decisions you may make, think them over carefuly. remember we're all pullen for ya.

[Lacy75]

Yes,i guess i am lucky to have the internet!Thanx a lot for your support.I have only been here a day or two,and its a pretty amazing place!I went from having no one to talk too,to tons of people to talk too!thanx again to everyone,bye
lacy

[Jodi Lynn]

Hi Lacy, Shaved my moustache off 5 years ago after 25 years of having one. Now I shave my chest, underarms and legs. Just remember we are always here for you.

[Lacy75]

Hi there!
My legs got a good shaving today.Feels good!

[KathrynW]

Until 2 years ago, I had a full beard for 27 years...talk about macho over-compensating... ;)

[Lacy75]

Well,I have made it 24 hours with a shaved face!I will get used to it.I would like to have a picture to put here that is nice,and i dont think a beard and all that would look right.Though,it will still take me a while to be ready for a picture of me as a woman.I dont have any makeup,or long hair,or anything nice enough to wear.I have had many dresses,pantyhose,high heels,thongs,panties,skirts,some makeup,you know,the whole deal.But,sometimes i get all weirded out and throw stuff away.Now i am without much of a selection.We,,i will have to work on it!Bye
Lacy

[jennifer easton]

Lacy heres one for the books, as of a month ago my grilfriend knows about Jennifer,but I have'nt had the nerv to shave my moustache or beard, I've had it for 20 years, all my friends know me that way, my SO for 9 years, I'l make that big step one day soon, I'd like to really see Jennifer my self! sad I've known her for 40 years but have never seen her with out her camo!
xoxoxJennifer

[KathrynW]

Lacy heres one for the books, as of a month ago my grilfriend knows about Jennifer,but I have'nt had the nerv to shave my moustache or beard, I've had it for 20 years, all my friends know me that way, my SO for 9 years, I'l make that big step one day soon, I'd like to really see Jennifer my self! sad I've known her for 40 years but have never seen her with out her camo!
xoxoxJennifer
ummmm......facial hair & makeup don't mix.....;)

[Lacy75]

Hey Jen!Sounds like you have a big choice to make.And.if you decide to get rid of your camo,then you will most likely have some other big choice to make.There is no easy solution for a man who wants to be a woman.I say you should go ahead and shave if you feel strongly enough about even attempting to become more womanly,if you are unhappy being shaved,just remember,it takes no time at all to grow it back!Good luck!Ley me know how things go!Bye
Lacy

[TGMarla]

I shaved mine a year or so ago. No regrets...AT ALL!

[Sarahgurl371]

Shaved mine about a year ago. Wife hated it, I love it. Probably never have on again. It took several months for my drab face to look right in the mirror. Now when I see pictures of myself with it, it just looks funny to me.

The worst part is the first time that you see people you have known a while. They all inquire as to why did you shave it off. For me, i had a stache' ever since I could grow one. Just what i thought I should look like. But once Tammy got a hold of me, it had to go. Now when someone inquires about my lack of it, I just say, I would never proceed to tell you how you should look.

[Lacy75]

I had too laugh when i was shaving,i guess 10 or 11 years is no record,but,i had it since shortly after graduating high school.Just looking in the mirror at myself,trying to decide,then in a quick fit,i did it!After tearing through some of it,i stopped and laughed again!Then i just said what the hell,and finished it up.Well,my best friend was over,and i am sure he doesnt share the feelings that I an many of you do.I am sure he thinks i am as normal as anything.Well,he says "Oh!" "You got your gay face on!" Well,he says thats what his cousin tells him after he shaves,so,at least it wasnt his own idea.Didnt bother me a bit really.Besides,i am not attracted to men,i just want to be a woman.I guess to me i have my feminine face on!Well,if he only knew!Thats when i feel most annoyed though,,when i would like to tell people More than i do.Well,no one said wanting to be a woman is an easy thing,especially when you seem about as far from being a woman as anyone could.If i became a woman,to people who know me,it would be like the difference between day and night.I would shock them all!
Bye,,,Lacy

[Sarahgurl371]

Lacy,
I read when I would like to tell people more than I do. Stikes a chord with me. I have often wondered, what would this person say? Kind of a dangerous feeling, huh? Like at any moment you stand up for yourself whatever the consequences. Could be a good thing, could be a bad thing, Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna get.

My Dad's GF keeps telling me to grow mine back. Over and over and over again. I fear one day, I will just say, You know what, i am a CD and a mustauche doesn't really look very attractive on a girl. My Dad knows about me, an i suspect he knows why i shaved it off. And his GF is a wonderful person, I just don't know how wonderful. Could be great, could end his relationship with her. Oh well, what to do?

[Lacy75]

Dont you hate it when someone keeps telling you to do something you dont want to!I agree,if you want to be a chick,then you cant have facial hair.Hopefully if she ever finds out she will accept it with no problems.If not,then i would say she would be the one with a problem.The riskiest i really get right now is coming to this website while people are doing their own thing around me.I try to keep anything in big writing about crossdressing off screen,but,there is always something on the screen about crossdressing.No one has noticed yet!If they do,well,we will see...My father passed away this spring,But i have my mother,and an 8 year old son,plus my friends,my brother and sister.We dont all live together,but there is rarely much time for me to be on the computer without someone else being around!And,it sux,but my brother is super against anything like this.Lets put it this way,he has several swastika tatoos.Im not scared of him or anything,and,aside from a little confusion of his own,he is a nice person.I am sure he would never hurt me.I am six feet two inches tall and two hundred and five pounds.So,i can handle myself.Its not fear of being beat,its just fear of being thought of in some negative way.But,with no one around me knowing,it makes me feel like an alien!Well,take care tammy!And everyone else!Bye
lacy