Cross Dressing on Our Anniversary

[abigailf]

So today is my anniversary. The household of late has been in quite a quandary with my coming out and living full time as a woman (well, 95% of the time anyway). The wife still does not know where she fits in this whole same gender relationship we have. She copes with it but she is definitely not jumping for joy.

So besides a card, a gift card to Coach and Dunkin Donuts, I decided to do something special for my wife on this day, our 19th wedding anniversary. I decided to have some fun and crossdress.

I found the most masculine shorts I could, pulled out one of my old guy tee shirts (the tees are the only male clothes I own anymore). Specifically it was a tee shirt from the Ugly Mug in Cape May, NJ. We had gone down there for a romantic getaway each July. We have not done it in a couple of years. Not because of me being a transsexual woman, but because we used the resources for other family trips.

I tied my hair in a low pony with multiple black ties to give it that biker edge. It is also a day before my electrolysis appointment and the few hairs left on my face are long and unsightly. My nails are polished but clear and I am wearing no makeup. I have on a tight sports bra to push in my tiny breasts.

I thought it would make me feel uncomfortable or depressed but I am kind of having fun with it. I suppose because I know it is only for the day and I am choosing to dress this way and not because I have to, it makes it so much better.

I snapped a few pictures. So, what do you think? Can I still pull off guy mode?

[kimdl93]

honestly, I could see the girl in you despite your best efforts at hiding her. but I think it was a laudable effort on your part and a novel anniversary gift. I hope you and your wife can find how she can fulfilled as part of this shared gender relationship.

[AllieSF]

I also see that woman inside based on your poses. Guys just don't stand like that. On the other plus side, I commend you on thinking of her. I hope your team makes it to the finals with smiling faces. Thanks for sharing.

[Leanne2]

Sorry, you are a girl. Good try though; and a nice gesture to your wife. Leanne

[Cynthia Anne]

I commend you on your effort! But it's easy to see the lady in you! Happy anniversary!

[Traci Elizabeth]

I actually think that you are doing your wife a great disservice. I am sure she is already mourning the loss of her male husband and when you revert back, you bring up all those emotions within her again

I tired that once with my wife and realized how much it hurt her, and how it brought forth a spark of hope of seeing her "husband" again even though he does not exist anymore. It was more hurtful for my wife to see me pretending to be a man than it was at that time to see me as a woman. That was over 3 years ago and I have never done that again, not have I ever wanted too in the 1st palce. My wife now accepts me as her wife. We have a very deep loving relationship as two women now.

Don't make my mistake if you love your wife. It just hurts too muich.

[Aprilrain]

I have to agree with Traci.

[Bree-asaurus]

You're intentions are good and it's a nice thing to do in theory... but I agree with Traci as well.

Just be yourself. It's the best thing for both of you. Again... it's great that you're thinking of her and willing to do this, but I know you can find other ways to make her feel special :)

[Badtranny]

I've gotta go with Traci, Bree and April on this one too. It seems kind of cruel to play at being a dude while your wife "still does not know where she fits in". It's too soon. Too soon for you to butch it up and still look like a woman (close though) and too soon to remind your wife of the man she fell in love with, who is now gone forever.

I have no idea what it's like to go through this while in a relationship so my heart goes out to you and the others. It's an emotional roller coaster for me and I'm single with no kids. You married broads have got guts, no doubt about it.

[Kathryn Martin]

When I transitioned my spouse told me she was glad that this back and forth would end. She felt that I looked ridiculous in maenner clothes.


I've gotta go with Traci, Bree and April on this one too. It seems kind of cruel to play at being a dude while your wife "still does not know where she fits in". It's too soon. Too soon for you to butch it up and still look like a woman (close though) and too soon to remind your wife of the man she fell in love with, who is now gone forever.

I have no idea what it's like to go through this while in a relationship so my heart goes out to you and the others. It's an emotional roller coaster for me and I'm single with no kids. You married broads have got guts, no doubt about it.

[abigailf]

Thanks for all the kind words. I was even mam'd by the hibachi chef.


I actually think that you are doing your wife a great disservice.

...

Don't make my mistake if you love your wife. It just hurts too muich.

I thought about this too and caused me to pause, but then I thought about her and I knew she would appreciate it.

I did mention to her that I was concerned it would send her the wrong impression. Her reply was "It is nice to see you this way. It reminds me of how much I really love you."

I said "I can not promise it will ever happen again."
She said "I know." Although she later hinted for me to do it again on her birthday.

We'll see. I may have it in me to do it once in awhile, but even if I do, what will happen after I get FFS and my breasts grow (naturally or otherwise)? At some point the clothes will only be, well clothes.

She is still not comfortable with me as a girl and that is of no surprise, but I suspect this little stunt was a nice reprieve for her. One that if I follow through with correctly could go a long way in helping to redefine our relationship.

I guess only time will tell if it was a good move or not.

[Traci Elizabeth]

Abigail,

You have to go with your heart while being acutely attuned to your wife's feelings and emotions even if she tries to hide them. We offer up our experiences for you to consider, disregard totally, or take only those parts you might thick could help you. We can only relate to our experiences and what we have learned from others.

In my opinion, however, your wife does not seem to totally accept your womanhood for her to keep asking for the"man" she married to be present during special events between the two of you. Once the day comes that she can't have "him" anymore, this will change in your family harmony. Just saying...

[Sandra]

Whilst what you did was a nice thing, if I was in the same position as your wife that being she is not fully on board with you, then I would have felt that so confused and maybe just have that thought that if I pushed then you would be male more often....and as we know that would only cause more problems and hurt to both parties.

[Jen60]

You look great either way! And by the way, I'm happy to hear the Ugly Mug is still there! Spent many a good evening there 30+ years ago!

[abigailf]

Abigail,

You have to go with your heart while being acutely attuned to your wife's feelings and emotions even if she tries to hide them. We offer up our experiences for you to consider, disregard totally, or take only those parts you might thick could help you. We can only relate to our experiences and what we have learned from others.

In my opinion, however, your wife does not seem to totally accept your womanhood for her to keep asking for the"man" she married to be present during special events between the two of you. Once the day comes that she can't have "him" anymore, this will change in your family harmony. Just saying...

Rest assured I always listen to advice or opinions, what I do however is my own call whether it agrees with popular opinions or not.

Either way, it may have been a good move or it may not have been. As I said only time will tell and when something does happen I am sure I will post it here :)

You are correct though, my wife does not accept my womanhood. I am not sure if she ever will and she is not sure either. Right now she is trying to learn how to live with me under these new terms. She feels her love for me deserves a chance. I am glad for that and I know her inner character. I am hopeful that given enough time she can learn to accept me as a woman. It is going to take time and little things like yesterday will go along way in helping her to find that solace.

Thanks Traci and all for you inputs. It is what makes this forum work.