Overheard in Nordstoms dressing room

[Paula_56]

I am continually amazed at the experiences I have while out in the world as a woman.
When I started going out into the world as a woman I was happy not to scare small children and animals. My recent travels found me in King of Prussia PA, this Sunday.
I decided to browse the formal section in Nordstrom’s. The sales associate Lisa was very helpful and asked me what I was looking for. I told her a dress for a fall wedding and when I admired a beautiful plum dress she insisted I try it on. You don’t have to ask me twice when it comes to pretty dresses! I ‘ve been in the Nordstrom’s dressing rooms before and the experience is always very classy. I am always very nervous about being outed and causing an issue in the dressing rooms. The SA’s have to be nice, but customers don’t. There was another woman there named Kelly she was shopping for work clothes. She was about my age and pretty here’s part of our conversation

Lisa the SA was zipping me up and Kelly pops her head out of the door,
OH! You look stunning in that dress.
(I truly thought I wonder who she is taking too?)
Thank you, I answered shyly.
Kelly said, It fits you perfectly, Is it tight
I responded, No, it’s very comfortable
She asked, can you sit OK?
I sat down as delicately as I could and smiled, “I love this dress”
Kelly extended her arms upward and said, “How about dancing can you put your arms around your husband?”
(I was wearing a femme wedding ring )
That’s when it hit me, she wasn’t being polite this chick really believes I’m a women!
This was a very simple and common exchange for a group of women and I was one of them.
WOW….

[Eryn]

Paula, that's a great story and I think that it makes an important point.

We as CDers are experts on identifying gender in others. We think about it all the time and we're hardest on ourselves.

The typical non-CDer isn't nearly so perceptive as we are. She saw a customer who was sending out prominent feminine cues so in her mind you were female. She might have thought "gee that woman has a deep voice" or "gee that woman is tall" but the key point is that she included the term "woman" in both of those observations.

That, IMO, is important. As long as we act like normal people, not hiding, skulking about, or browsing at breakneck speeds, we will be treated as we appear. GGs come in all shapes, sizes, and voices and nobody with any amount of social skills is going to risk embarrassing a GG by questioning their gender!

[KateSpade83]

Well, I looked at your Flickr photos and you do look very passable. Do you have a very good femme voice too?

I sometimes enjoy going out shopping as a woman too, especially in a good skirt suit.

[kimdl93]

Seeing you in that dress, I would have reached the same, obvious conclusion, Paula.

[daviolin]

Hurray for Paula. I love this story. Keep up the good work there girl. Daviolin

[TxKimberly]

Awe! Such a simple moment and yet so powerful!

[Stephanie-L]

A great moment for you, and I hope you bought the dress, it looks lovely on you..........Stephanie

[NathalieX66]

Glad you had fun!
KoP Mall is a great place to shop. They are pretty receptive to TG folk. They usually have the Angela's Laptop Lounge crowd go shopping there every month....hope you know what I'm talking about.

[suchacutie]

Feminine cues are what it's all about! In this case it wasn't only you that had generated feminine cues, but the SA as well as the woman immediately assumed that since the SA was working with you in a woman's changing area, you are, de facto, a woman!

It really is the balance between masculine and feminine cues that we send out. Some cues are stronger than others and you were clearly putting out a lot of feminine cues.

As Kimberly said, a simple but very powerful moment. Just reading your story made me feel terrific for you!!! (and made me feel good as well!)

tina

[cindy777]

Wow, what a wonderful experience. I am very happy for you and a little jealous:) lol

Cindy

[Kelli Ca]

that sounds soo great you must've been on high the rest of the day. good for you thanks for sharing gives us all hope

[Cynthia Anne]

Having an exsperiance like that is simply awesome! But then whyn not! Afterall you are a beautiful lady in a beautiful dress!

[Leslie Langford]

Paula, in light of your other "Passing" thread started earlier today, I would say that you pretty much answered your own question in describing this encounter with Kelly, and that you were far too modest in your own expectations in saying that you now aim for "convincing". Sounds to me as if you hit this one out of the park, and you definitely "passed" in Kelly's eyes.

That said, it would be interesting to hear your spin on what you thought SA Lisa might have been assuming about your true gender by way of comparison. Also, was it Kelly who took that lovely picture of you outside of the fitting room? If so, then bonus points for that whole encounter! ;)

[Rachel Morley]

Wow! .. now that really is passing in the true sense! Super close up interaction (you were being zippered) with two genetic women and also being asked about your "husband". I also took a look at your flickr page, the Lord and Taylor Makeover pic absolutely stunning. I can see how people think what they think. You've really got it going on. Awesome!

[Noemi]

Paula, that's a great story and I think that it makes an important point.

We as CDers are experts on identifying gender in others. We think about it all the time and we're hardest on ourselves.



The typical non-CDer isn't nearly so perceptive as we are. She saw a customer who was sending out prominent feminine cues so in her mind you were female. She might have thought "gee that woman has a deep voice" or "gee that woman is tall" but the key point is that she included the term "woman" in both of those observations.

That, IMO, is important. As long as we act like normal people, not hiding, skulking about, or browsing at breakneck speeds, we will be treated as we appear. GGs come in all shapes, sizes, and voices and nobody with any amount of social skills is going to risk embarrassing a GG by questioning their gender!



The sound of nails being hit on the head can be heard here.

Thanks Eryn.

And what a lovely story. Paula your wish came true, albeit for moments, but still the feeling will last forever. What a beautiful experience you have.

I am always looking at GG's and wondering why I was not born one. I understand, I am me, and special are we.

Nice post thank you.

♥♥♥
Noemi

[Chari]

Bet that was a boost to your feminine side! BTW, do you have plum lingerie to go with that fabulous dress? Thanx for sharing.

[bridget thronton]

A lovely dress you wear it quite well

[Victoria P]

Paula, what a fascinating conversation,I bet you felt like you were on Cloud 9 ,because you were totally convincing. Your pics looks just lovely and that dress is fabulous,you wear it perfectly. Hugs VP :)

[Jolene Robertson]

Paula, A nice classy dress and lady to go in it! Glad you had such a positive experience, I'm jealous!

Hugs
Jolene

[Jeanna]

Would your husband be jealous if I had the next dance? You look great :)

[carhill2mn]

A lovely story and a lovely dress! It is so great to be treated as a lady!

[joanna4]

I'm really happy that you had a good time and that she truly believed you were a women.

[Paula T]

What a gorgeous look . The dress and the girl.

[tonidouglas]

I hope that one day I canhave such a wonderful experience

[Brown Eyed Girl]

Paula, I love hearing when that happens! There is definitely a completely different feeling when you are viewed as one of the gals. Savor that experience....and yes, you do look great!

[Bree Wagner]

Great story Paula, very inspirational. Did you get the dress?

[lingerieLiz]

You look great in that dress. I love Nords. One of my best lingerie buying experiences was at one.

[linda allen]

Paula, You look great and that was a great moment. Thanks for sharing.

[Amy R Lynn]

I thin your stroy does point out something that I have found in many of the thread here. We make this fear in ou own minds when there really shouldn't be. I think it is in our nature to fear the worst. It had to be a great confidence boost and a wonderful feeling to be accepted as a woman. Truly inspirational and you look beautiful in that dress! I love it.

[RenneB]

Great story girl. I too get a charge out of the casual chit chat that girls out in the real world go through and every once in a while when I've got my outfit, hair et al just right, I get one of those little chats like.... "this would look good on you" as the GG pulls out a dress and shows it to me...

Love it...

Renne.....