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Veronica27
07-12-2012, 10:29 PM
I am a man whose appearance has always been very low on my scale of priorities. This may be simply a quirk of my personality, or it may be the result of being the youngest child in a working class family who was always dressed in hand me downs and nagged constantly by older siblings to comb my hair, tie my shoelaces, pull up my socks, and generally not embarrass them in front of their friends. I like to think that it is the result of being too busy on more important things in life like my hobbies and magnificant thoughts.

I am not belittling the importance of appearance. We are judged by our appearance despite the objections of some who dislike to be told what they should be doing. It is to some extent a matter of respect. We should show respect by presenting ourselves in the best possible light at weddings, funerals, job interviews, fine dining establishments and so on. We are showing respect for ourselves as well as those around us.

But it is the obsessive interest in one's appearance that I can't be bothered with. All my life I have detested shopping for clothing. (Maybe that explains the hand me downs). I hated barber shops, visiting them only when absolutely necessary, and my longish hair was beginning to embarrass others. For many years I trimmed my own hair, only giving it up when poor eyesight made it almost impossible. Now I just let it grow, tie it in a ponytail, and let my wife shorten it a few inches about once or twice a year. (an added benefit to this is I don't need a wig to crossdress).

When I reached puberty, I suddenly fell in love with the natural beauty of the girls around me. An aspiring artist, I now enjoyed drawing pictures of feminine pulchritude, more than the usual pictures of trains, cars, baseball players and the like. What I couldn't understand was their obsessive interest in their appearance. My older sister was a prime example of this; originally a Tomboy, she now drove my mother nuts demanding that her clothes be just right, and demanding cosmetics that had never been a part of my mother's vanity. Why did these girls all have to wear makeup, polish their nails, and have to have clothes that were the latest fashions? They didn't need any of this to be beautiful in my eyes. Why did women risk serious injury wearing high heels, and make themselves uncomfortable with corsets and the like. And the obsession in those days with whether their slips showed and their seams were straight. It made no sense to me and was a horrendous waste of time and money. Perfumes, jewelry ugh. I was a guy and was glad I was. I shuddered at the thought that the law of averages had given me just a 50/50 chance of being one.

So why did I suddenly want to try on some of these ridiculous things, and why did it become a lifelong compulsion? A lot of things led to the initial trials. Curiosity, and raging hormones were probably the strongest of these. But why has it persisted? It certainly has not had anything to do with wanting to be a woman. I don't and I don't achieve any sense of being one when I dress. I am beginning to think it might have something to do with my disinterest in my appearance. Society says I should wear such and such, and I say why? I'm not trying to impress anybody anymore, being long since retired. My feminine clothes are different, a change of pace, and in some cases comfortable. But why go all the way with makeup, jewelry, forms, heels, etc.? It adds to the overall adventure and excitement. It is a risk and a dare. In fact, the very fact that I am essentially a slob malewise, means the escape through crossdressing from male expectations can only be fully accomplished by not only wearing female clothing, but also by going from disinterest in appearance to extreme attention to appearance.

Does this place me in a minority of one?

Veronica

SerenityQueen
07-13-2012, 03:03 AM
I Don't think so Veronica. I think you would find that as there is diversity throughout the world population there is diversity throughout our community.

You'll find CDs that are like you and you will find those that aren't.

noeleena
07-13-2012, 04:08 AM
Hi,

i have to laugh at this a bit. im 65 next month . & most of my life 54 years more so i hated male clothes never ever liked them & Mom was the one who brought them for me even up to age 24 one day a few years before Mom said its time you buy some , i was about 16 & i said i dont care if they fall off my back im ....NOT... buying any . Mom did not twig to what i was saying so again Mom brought my clothes,

Later Jos & i got to gether & yes Jos brought my clothes same again im not buying any male clothes . Jos did not twig to what i said till 24 years later, ooops ...oh dear, to late then,

Yes to Jos. im a female / woman intersex. why i hated any thing to do with male clotheing ,

I was allways clean looked after what i had / have, tidy yes & even to the point of, as a woman told me last year. i looked a handsome man, yes percived as one just not totaly, dont matter now any ways,

Wow you have your hair & can grow that long , no comment here other than i have none .mind you no bad hair days ,

Spos im one of those that no nail pol allmost no makeup, just lippy & eyebrow liner i have nice clothes & make my own. i still do manual work so im really just a woman that gets things done & enjoys what i do.

Im not one of those who has this feminine look facial wise so why try & be what im not, im accepted the way i am , so youll find we are very different in our approch to how we dress & what we do.

...noeleena...

Vickie_CDTV
07-13-2012, 04:48 AM
It is not that unusual. I only dress casual and pretty boring as a male (only dress up for weddings and funerals.) A few former girlfriends used to complain how I dressed as a guy and told me I dress like a kid (I dress and look a bit like Charlie Brown with the shorts and T-shirt and lack of hair on my head, no kidding. If you see a guy that looks like Charlie Brown at trans events that is me en drab... come up and say hi!, or something.)

Vickie is the exact opposite of my male self, she loves to dress up and look sharp and professional (and even a bit mature for her age.) She always makes sure her heels are polished, her stockings don't have runs, her slip isn't showing but is there to protect her modesty and keep her clothes clean, her skirt suit is dry cleaned and properly pressed, her blouse is ironed etc. etc. Her hair is medium length and permed and neat, makeup applied as perfect as possible, and her nails are polished and look perfect. As for my male side, he rolls out of bed, picks out his t-shirt for the day and heads out the door. It is an interesting dichotomy I think.

Stephenie S
07-13-2012, 07:38 AM
"Does this place me in a minority of one?"

No, dear. It just means you are a dude.

JamieQ
07-13-2012, 07:44 AM
i have been quite the same way. To most perception is all, to me it means very little since I am too busy working. I can worry or not about what others really think? Who cares, anyway what I always say...they are not paying my bills... but in girl mode...different story..

melissakozak
07-13-2012, 08:54 AM
I remember this topic coming up a lot in issues of the Femme Mirror back in the 1990's. Since I am a pretty much a fashion nut in boy mode and girl mode, I can't completely relate, but men in our society don't have to groom and primp as much as women. Those of us who do groom, primp, etc. like me, the so-called metrosexual, often get labeled 'gay' for having such concern with appearance. At 41, I no longer care what people think. The women at the salon think I am straight cuz I am married with a child. Strangers think I am gay. (I look and dress like the guys from Duran Duran). With highlighted, longer hair and rocker style clothes, I don't look conservative.

The bottom line is you are who you are....don't change a thing. Are you happy? If so, then just let things be......

Karren H
07-13-2012, 09:13 AM
Who really knows why we do this.... And who really cares why.... You like to do what you like to do... And knowing why won't change a thing going forward.... All I know is I like to look good no mater what I'm wearing. And yes I'm obsessive... My wife tells me that every day... About a lot of things in my life. I don't think I'm obsessive in a bad way or a way that degrades my life.. Maybe that's what hoarders think too? Lol. I don't hoard. Mater of fact I'm becoming an anti hoarder...

But I like clothes... And like to shop.. My wife hates to shop. Go figure? I have my unkept times on weekends when I'm working around the house... Or on the cars..

Maybe your obsessive about not caring what you normally wear? Obsessive..... So how many other people take their blood pressure a couple times a day.... Check the stock market every hour (find the new Android app I can see it every 5 minutes...). Get up early and exercise every day.... Some peoples obsessions are other peoples lifestyles....

kimdl93
07-13-2012, 10:08 AM
Much of what you wrote reflect a difference in priorities. Some men and women are not interested in appearances and see the effort of others as a waste of time. Others take great pride and satisfaction from grooming and dressing well. Thats simply a matter of personal preferences.

As for why you like to dress, I'm afraid you'll never find the answer you are seeking. You're not alone by any means.

KellyJameson
07-13-2012, 02:26 PM
Your thread was a pleasure to read Veronica.

Stephenie's answer gave me a laugh, she nailed it in my opinion.

You used all the dude words. Risk,excitement, adventure, I say why? (individuality),rebellion,escape, ect...

" The final frontier, To explore strange new worlds, To seek out new life and new civilizations, To boldly go where no man has gone before".

Aspiring artist equals artistic sensitivity combined with masculinity equals .....?

It is funny how normal we are (majority) when we think we are being abnormal(minority), we are all keeping the same secrets from each other.

NicoleScott
07-14-2012, 10:39 AM
That makes at least two of us. I'm not a slob in male mode, more like casual, comfortable, and indifferent (to style and others' opinions). But I'm particular to my style in girl mode and pay attention to details in the extreme. The look I go for is in my head alone, and I couldn't care less to current fashion trends.