A most wonderful evening with my daughter

[ReneeT]

As many know from my past posts, my transition has not been received well by my family. It has been particularly difficult for my 17 yo daughter, and this has been compounded by my recent separation from my wife of 23 yrs (word of warning.....transition ain't no skip down the yellow brick road). Since I moved out 5 wks ago, i have been working to maintain my relationship with my 19 yo son, who is doing pretty well, and my daughter. Tonight she came to my apartment for the first time. i wasn't all dolled up, but i was just me. She was amazingly comfortable with me and in my home. She had lots of questions, and we worked thru them all. We talked more tonight than we have in yrs!. We finished the evening by cooking together - she helped me make lasagna for a support group mtg tomorrow.

I am just amazed and oh so proud of my daughter. I actually think we will pull thru this with our relationship intact, if not even better than before!

[Noemi]

Renee,

I am happy that you had a good night with your daughter. You sound like such a level headed and hip/aware/intelligent individual. Your daughter needs family, you are her family and share perhaps the strongest bond.

It is all about dignity. If we do the right things with good intentions, that is what people respond to.

♥♥♥
Noemi

[arbon]

Nice, that is really good news. I worried a lot about how my transtition would impact my daughter, she is a lot younger than yours, but I feel like our relationship is so much stronger then it would have been otherwise. Not to say there were not issues, but we worked through them as a family.

Hope that keeps going well for you :)

[ReineD]

I'm really happy to read this, Renee. I'm thinking that it might have been difficult when you and your wife were still living together, because she was afraid to "take sides". But now the pressure's off and she can be as flexible and as loving as it is in her heart to be, without feeling as if she is betraying her mother (perhaps). She loves you and it's going to be a lot easier for her to be with you without her mother around. And I dare say that it will be easier for her to be with her mother without you around too. They hate to be in the middle.

:hugs:

[Nicki S]

Renee, that is awesome to hear. i can relate the daughter issues. Except my 23 yrs old wont even talk to me. I pray for the day that her and I can start to mend our relationship

[TxKimberly]

Awe . . . I am so glad to hear of the happy moment!

[kimdl93]

I'm very happy for you and your daughter, Renee. Ultimately, I do think the parental bond is more powerful than prejudices and fear. My sons learned of my CDing from their mom - and not in a good way. The eldest was cold and standoffish for a year or more, both because of the divorce and the accompanying revelation...tough stuff for a teenager to absorb. The younger never really left me. And now, more than a decade later, my relationship with them is very solid. The key, as you have demonstrated, is to always be their and consistently reach out to them, even when they won't or can't reciprocate.

[PretzelGirl]

That is great news Renee. Through all of this with the ups and downs, I would think the impact on children would be the most difficult thing to handle. This is a very nice start and I hope it continues for you.

[ReneeT]

Kim, i think you identified the key factor, and maybe the hardest one: staying engaged when the kids resist. I struggle with this, but the effort seem to be bearing fruit. The kids and i have decided that we will set aside time every week and alternate weeks, one week with both together and one with private time with each. I am still on cloud nine ( i think there's a Nine West there!) after last night