Am I gettin bigger or is this place gettin smaller [Archive] - Crossdressers.com - #1 Community & Forum for Crossdressers, Family and Friends

Inna

07-15-2012, 01:48 PM

DISCLOSURE! This here paragraph is of My Own Personal observation, No other Transgender folks have been harmed in production of this thread. All observations are home grown, organic and no other artificial additives had been added!

I remember several years ago when I was just a newbee CDer to the forum that is, I felt cozy in cd section and God forbid, I never ventured into Trans Section, Oh My...lol!
As time progressed and my truth kept poking my consciousness from the inside, I was growing profusely and started to be more open and speak of so many more aspects including TS issues.

Lately though I observe lot more threads which state that some find this place getting smaller, tighter and I very much sympathize.

Picture threads which once were joy to observe and see others experiencing joy and openness seem to drift further into realm of show sometimes getting quite UPS in nature.

I know it is I who had changed and how I view trans community now, something I never though would have happened.
But it did, and I find my self being able to express feelings to much smaller audience, and even then, much fewer few who get my point!

Is this the beginning of the end?

Bree-asaurus

07-15-2012, 01:57 PM

I dunno... but I am finding that there are less and less people I can relate to. And some of the people who's posts I really enjoyed reading have left because they outgrew this place.

AllieSF

07-15-2012, 02:01 PM

It has nothing to do with size, but rather with maturity and personal growth and personal need. There comes a time when what this site offers is no longer needed as one has progressed past that and has their own life to live away from all the time that this site requires, or better stated, takes. You are just getting older in your new role in life. Better to enjoy it and look forward. I hope I get there one day, as I am on here way too much!

SandraAbsent

07-15-2012, 02:01 PM

I dunno... but I am finding that there are less and less people I can relate to. And some of the people who's posts I really enjoyed reading have left because they outgrew this place.

Couldn't agree more with this statement.

Badtranny

07-15-2012, 03:02 PM

I find my self being able to express feelings to much smaller audience, and even then, much fewer few who get my point!

I think it's just a matter of perspective. When I first joined here (as a completely different person) there were so many who have done so much. In my view everyone was waaaaaay more experienced in this TG stuff and I had a LOT to learn. As the years go by, and I found the courage to live openly I quickly began to "catch up" with the zeitgeist. Soon I was on the transition path and as the months tick by there were fewer and fewer people who I could relate to and/or learn from.

When I first met Niya (before I found this forum) she seemed so exotic and amazing to me and I thought that I would never be among her people. Now I've talked with (and been ogled by) Niya many times and she is a wonderful and dynamic person, but she is just another T-girl now and I can barely remember the scared dude I was back when I met her. AllieSF took me out for my very first trip into the city and I was a wreck. I'm sure I was an irritating queen who complained about too many things but I was in awe of Allie's ease and confidence. I never imagined I could be as comfortable as her but over the years we have become quite good friends and I'm sure that she would say that hanging out with me now is a different experience than it was the first time.

My perspective has totally changed and because of that so has my view of the membership. When I first came here I was interested in so many more threads. I was nervous shopping. I wanted to shave my arms. I wanted to shave my legs. I wanted to pierce my ears. I didn't know where to buy makeup. I didn't know what size I was. I didn't know where to buy a wig, and so on and so on. Needless to say I no longer find anything interesting in those threads so I'm limited to those few that address coming out, or transitioning, or SRS, or name changes. My perspective has changed, and thus so have I.

There is no dearth of members or lurkers on this board only a dearth of interest in most of the conversations.

Kaz

07-15-2012, 03:48 PM

Hi Inna, hope you don't mind me joining in but you have hit a nerve regarding where I am at the moment. I am not TS but DO relate... OK I cannot 'be in that knowledge space' where you and others are as I have not been through the experience, but I realise now that I don't CD just for the clothes, it is about me and who I am and all that. I don't want to get onto progression and that stuff, but I do know that how I approach this place now is very different from when I joined and even from 6 months ago.

I come on the CD boards and frequently read a few things, don't post and leave. I am more interested in what is happening here to be honest, though I often feel excluded for all the right reasons!

I think it is true that our perspectives change. I have learned a lot here (and by here I mean the site in general), and I am learning a lot more form your experiences and those of Melissa and others. This may sound parasitic, as you will learn very little from me, but in these journeys we are all on we are all both learners and learned, students and teachers, novices and practitioners.

If I limit my 'group' or 'category' to who I am and where I am on my journey, there are increasingly fewer and the world is indeed shrinking... but I understand that I can still help others from my experiences in the way that I have benefited from the experiences of others... but many of these 'students' or 'novices' I find increasingly unexciting and trivial and I question why am I here at times. In the past few months I have nearly left this place several times a week, but I come back...

Then I read a post by someone who just sets me off again and I respond willingly. Then I realise they are a 'friend' and I am in the same 'group' as they are...

I think this place gets smaller with experience because we are more focused and as we start to take more of a lead because of that experience, that sense of 'smallness' is inevitable, although to the broader community... they see you as a thought leader and someone to follow.

From novice to journeyman to expert... it is a strange journey. And for the real 'expert', their journey has just begun!

Inna

07-15-2012, 04:49 PM

Beth-Lock

07-15-2012, 05:42 PM

I have progressed through several of the various sections of this site, at each stage of personal development finding new questions to ask, and new things to comment on.

Perhaps eventually, I shall continue to hang around, just in order to contribute to the needs of those still caught, somewhere in the middle or those just starting out. And of course, there are aways new things to learn. I haven't figured out the whole gender change thing either. Perhaps it will always remain mysterious to me, as to what is really behind it.

I get criticized by those who cannot think abstractly, or don't see the point in it, and tell me I should move those posts pondering theoretical issues, to an academic journal for professors. But then they are not necessariy as bright as they are cracked up to be, as once I found a contributor to a Canadian journal of philosophy, a professor, critisized for not being able to spell, 'misogyny.'

So, this neighbourhood has not shrunk too much for me, even though I have grown immensely, thanks in large part, to this site.

sandra-leigh

07-15-2012, 06:28 PM

I didn't know where to buy a wig, and so on and so on. Needless to say I no longer find anything interesting in those threads so I'm limited to those few that address coming out, or transitioning, or SRS, or name changes. My perspective has changed, and thus so have I.

Quite. Matters that used to be urgent for me are no longer "interesting". Which doesn't mean they have gone away, but I've dealt with them enough that they "just are", for the most part.

How absolutely daring and risky it seemed to wear even the smallest "enhancers" under my bulkiest shirts :eek: -- but now I'm about 40A (a bigger volume than my wife) and that is "just part of me", a plain ordinary every-day matter.

Or how I got as far as buying a lovely human-hair wig at a great price... and I've never worn it because that was right at the point where my hair had become long enough that wigs became a sweaty slippery nuisance.

I don't spend much of my time thinking about what I "could" become: I've become something already and I'm living with it day and night already.

All of which is not to say that I don't fret about how I'm going to talk to my mother when I see her in a few weeks, when she hasn't seen me since before I started on HRT. Life isn't finished at all, but the internal steam boiler has been banked for now.

kimdl93

07-15-2012, 06:38 PM

I haven't much I can add to the above other than to agree that our perspectives change and with several years presence here one has probably seen every topic ...there's little new under the sun for a long term participant. Still, sometimes I'm surprised at what interests me or touches my heart even as a jaded old timer ;)

Jonianne

07-15-2012, 07:51 PM

It's definatly true that as you find the direction thats right for you, you start to focus more in that area. I never found much appeal in the open cd forum, but my heart was more in the loved ones forum. Now I've drifted away from even there and my focus in life is transition. Safe haven and PM'ing is where most of my focus is now, whenever I do sign in and even that is becoming less often. I still always want to stay connected to the close friends I have made here, through the forum. Their friendship, love and support is priceless.

StephanieC

07-15-2012, 08:32 PM

I rarely post on the forum but I've been here for a few years. But even I have found the way I interact with the site has changed...especially in the last few months. Thing about this, I'm reminded of something I had heard often when I first came here...talk of "the journey". This implied to me that there was not necessarily one path, that my pace may change, and that the people along the way may come and go...with some who may choose to travel a bit with me.

I'm certainly closer to the start of my journey than most of you. I don't know exactly where this is leading but I know what it is not. For example, for me is is no longer solely about clothes. And I have done things that will make it difficult for me to return, should I change my mind.

Some day, I hope to be a resource to others but I don't know when that might be or the shape that might take.

In short, I'm still on that journey. And as I look back, things look different than when I first viewed them. I think that's called growth. And for me, that appears to be growth in the right direction.

So I think what you describe is natural... it may even be inevitable.

-stephani

Miranda09

07-15-2012, 08:46 PM

Hmmmmm, you know Inna, this is a very interesting observation as I have been going through these feelings myself. When I first joined this wonderful community, I was a bit nervous, and very curious, as to where this journey would lead. I was posting constantly, partaking in all manner of conversation as my understanding of this side of me matured. Now, I very rarely post except to comment on many of the lovely photos that many have shared with all of us. But lately, even my dressing is not satisfying, which may explain why I haven't posted much these past few (many?) months. Maybe this is a natural progression of the maturity of this side of my personality.....I do hope it's NOT the beginning of the end! However, on a more optimistic level, maybe this is just the end of the beginning, and time for the next step, whatever that may be! (hope this makes sense!!!!)

Melody Moore

07-15-2012, 08:48 PM

I can relate to so much of what has been said here. When I first came on this forum which was about
4 years ago as a lurker, I did not dare venture into the TS forum and it took me nearly 2 years to get
the courage to finally sign up an account and post here because I knew this would be the place I would
end up.

However I did make a few posts in the CDing section in the very beginning, but it didn't take me long to
realise that I was very different to many others who come on this forum. I guess as I found myself I also
found that this new world that had opened up to me had suddenly started get a lot smaller and like Inna,
as I have moved through my transition I feel like I have almost outgrown this place.

But I have gained a lot in my understanding about who I am & where I fit in and learnt a lot about gender diversity
and for that I am very grateful. But for those of us who are seeking total congruency within ourselves and to have
a normal life then I think there comes a time that we must step away. I am not a transsexual, I am a woman with
a transsexual history. So this is not a label that I want to keep carrying for ever. Some might even accuse
us if we do break way from mainstream communities and form smaller peer groups as transsexual separatist.

But there is a level of understanding & support that can only come from those who have made the complete
transition. And being told how I should live my life from someone who is a CDer, bigendered or gender queer still
doesn't cut the mustard with me I am afraid to say because thy cannot give me the understanding & support
I need. As I said earlier there is a 99.9% chance now that I will be leaving this forum before the end of the
year after my SRS & I am all healed just in case I need some advice from a few people here. It has been fun Xx

Melissa Rose

07-16-2012, 12:32 AM

I'm also going to jump onto the perspective wagon and the "read that a hundred times already" wagon with the others. I now find very few of the posts to be about new or interesting topics. The same stuff keeps coming up again and again (the search function must be a mystery to some). To be totally honest, I find more and more of the posts to be inane drivel, overly analytical and/or blindingly self involved, thus I tend to skim over most of them. Some are poorly written and I no longer have the patience the fight my way through the mess (not that my grammar, syntax and sentence structure is impeccable). In other words, my focus and interest has become much narrower than in the past. Unless there is something I feel to be helpful or substantial to add to a thread, I do not post in it. As others have stated in one way or another, I have out grown the place. But, not enough to make me permanently leave.

Barbara Ella

07-16-2012, 12:43 AM

The thoughts here have been ever so helpful to me, so please forgive my posting. I have only recently even dared to read the threads in this TS section, as I would have nothing to add worth listening to. Recently I have begun to recognize that i have more needs, and have ventured here to see what I could learn, and I have indeed learned...I started raw ten months ago, and as I have done things, and thought things, there are fewer who have done or thought what i was, and so I continued to look for those who had already done or thought those things. This is common for all humans as we tend to congregate ourselves. Those with more experiences will congregate with those of similar experience levels, and eventually even find that they have little to talk about, and then they will drift away. That is unfortunate for those of us who are still looking for those experiences for help, but it can't be avoided, and it puts the burden on those like me to pursue the knowledge with even more vigor.

Please don't think you are alone at this stage of your journey, there are a lot of us out here learning. I find myself having more questions and confusion about my gender. There is so much more now than there was before. Thank you all for sharing, and helping.

Barbara

Kirsty_D

07-16-2012, 04:27 AM

Am I qualified to answer this? maybe not as I've only been here 6 months but I have noticed that in the past few months it has become very quiet here. When I signed up I needed to check in everyday otherwise the ammount of new threads and posts became to much to catch up on.

I have also noticed that some people are no longer posting here, people who were quite frequent posters when I signed up seem to have now gone quiet.

The subject of stealth was brough up some months ago in a thread and it was something I had never considered, just now at the start of my transition I'm happy to tell people my story, offer advice to others or proudly wave the banner of support organizations but I guess a lot of people once they get through with everything just consider themselves to have become the woman they were always ment to be and want the past to be past. Not neccessiarly burrying it or hiding it but just putting it in the cupboard along with the old family albums. Nobody needs to know anything about your previous life so then the need for groups like this loose there usefulness and only pull you back to the previous life.

In some way's this is a terrible loss, a loss of knowledge and experience to other's to come but it's perfectly understandable that people want to move on.

In the short time I've been here I've come to know some truly wonderful people and I would not like to loose contact with such people, be it either via Facebook or private email there is many people I would like to keep contact with.

Inna

07-16-2012, 11:11 AM

After reading through your responses, I can't help but feel as though we come here seeking truth and openness as a newborn child arriving into the realm of this world. The family cares and supports this child and helps it grow, when the child becomes a young adult it is time for the world, parents then become somewhat secondary, and sometimes a nuisance, lol, and this young adult is now progressing into the world of wonder and life.
And so it is for us, the same, with our wonderful parents and teachers and supporters here, some mature beyond home and depart onto the new life.

One thing remains, that in my growth, this place was home, and my teachers and tremendous friends have helped in the most of darkest times, I have survived and emerged whole.
Now slowly I too am getting ready to step out into the world of new found truth, and love, for they have become simply, just another day in life, ohhhhh, how wonderful of mundane feeling it is to feel this normalcy come over!

kimdl93

07-16-2012, 12:16 PM

Now slowly I too am getting ready to step out into the world of new found truth, and love, for they have become simply, just another day in life, ohhhhh, how wonderful of mundane feeling it is to feel this normalcy come over!

It occurred to me that as a child one's home is a place full filled with playtimes, interesting and exciting new discoveries, dark hiding places, and security. As a teenager our world expands, home can seem boring, even confining. But its always home and once we've grown and moved on, we retain that attachment to home. Thomas Wolf said you can't go home again, and sometimes that's true, but you can always come back here.

elizabethamy

07-16-2012, 01:01 PM

Inna, it's a progression for most...a couple of months ago I posted a thread asking why people left the site. All kinds of answers. I started like most as a newish cd wondering wtf I was doing and why. Quickly realized it wasn't the clothes or the wigs or the shoes but something deeper. Started reading the ts stuff, mostly in awe and shock and sometes recognition. Progressed to safe haven where I have said Everything. Finally had to make an awful choice: stop the progression and move a thousand miles so that family could start over with new jobs and house and lves.

Through all this site and it's amazing cast of characters kept me sane. Now I am in my new place; privacy is rare and all my cd/ts/tg needs go unmet, for now. Now I know why peole leave the site. They finish their journey or they get interrupted like me or they just need to take a break and figure outa lotmore about who they are. I don't think the site changes but we do. You havebeen a great help to me, innards,and a radiant light. Do what you need! I want to see you in vogue entire it's my wife's copy...or mine.

Love,

Elizabethamy

elizabethamy

07-16-2012, 01:05 PM

Inna, my iPhone desperately wants to call you "innards" and I can't stop it! I'm sure you havelovely innards but that's not what I meant.

E.

Inna

07-16-2012, 01:13 PM

yeah, Inna is trying to get her innards in line lately, thanks for your Iphone suggestion, I will take it seriously because I could stand to loose a few pounds. Just love technology, sometimes it even turns out to be wise, or wise ass, well, cant have one without the other, LMAO!

melissaK

07-16-2012, 02:44 PM

The membership and posters ebb and flow. I like a school metaphor. We come searching for answers and school ourselves about ourselves. At some point we graduate. Some of us hang around to teach others - like some teachers do. Some of us come back for a visit - just to revisit memories. Some of us left with an associates degree and come back for advanced class work to earn the bachelor degree. Some of us work on our PhDs.

While here some create their own sorority or fraternity. Sometimes sororities and frats fight with each other or with the none sorority and frats.

Then too the Internet changes. Sites ebb and flow in popularity. Preinternet days I started out with a po box and memberships to printed materials, those publications fell by the wayside, or the publishers tried to go online. But there's a lot of resources out there and it's tough.

And finally, it's summer! Im guessing based on myself, we go outside more. We vacation. Our kids are home more and stay up later pushing many of us off the family room PC, and generally compromising our privacy, pushing our CDing deeper into a closet at least for awhile. Whether you're mtf or FTm summer wardrobes test self confidence. We probably post less for all these reasons. (mods care to share if there are any seasonal hit patterns? Maybe it's actually the opposite)

Hugs,
'lissa

Miranda-E

07-16-2012, 03:17 PM

alot of people leave because its has become SO/family support site pretending to be CD/trans support site.

Marleena

07-16-2012, 03:20 PM

Lately I feel like I'm falling between the cracks, unsure of where I belong in the big scheme of things. I moved along the TG scale to a point that has no real definition. Not a big deal though because I'm mellowing and the feeling I need to help or protect everybody that is struggling is gone. There are lots of people that can give the same friendly advice here..and of course the same questions come up repeatedly.:)

I think in your case Inna you are getting close to the TS finish line and less help and advice is needed.

alot of people leave because its has become SO/family support site pretending to be CD/trans support site.

I've actually heard that from some other members too.

ReineD

07-16-2012, 04:54 PM

alot of people leave because its has become SO/family support site pretending to be CD/trans support site.

Here in the TS section, there are very few threads about SOs.

The Beauty and Shopping support sections are alive and well and no one ever talks about SOs there.

You don't say whether you refer to TSs or CDers, but the people who leave ... are you thinking about CDers who join to learn the "how-tos" and to engage in CDer fantasies, and so they aren't interested in reading threads from the CDers who seek support for navigating the CDing in their relationships?

Jorja

07-16-2012, 06:45 PM

You Inna, are coming to an end of this journey and ready to start another. Another more important one. You have learned what you can learn here. This is why this place seems smaller to you. Those who have left recently completed this journey and stayed long enough to find thier feet after SRS. They felt they could impart some wisdom having just gone through this ordeal. In some instances their wisdom was welcomed. In others it was not. You too will find that when the time is right, you will fly the nest.

Then one day, out of the blue you will find yourself back here. Trying to give your knowledge and experience to the next group of transitioners. Some will listen to what you have to say. Some will ignore you. Some will flat out tell you, you don't know what you are talking about. You will say, ah, no big deal. As long as one person takes your advise and has a happy out come that is all that will matter to you.

Nicole Brown

07-16-2012, 07:51 PM

I remember not too long ago replying to a thread which inquired about why so many participants seemed to be reading the threads but not replying to them. In my reply I explained that the reason that I didn't reply anywhere near as often as I use to is due to the never ending repeating of the same exact subject matter over and over again. I now find that I even log onto this site less and less and I have found other more exciting things to do with my time.
As other have already stated, I have learned many many things from the various sections on this site and have moved forward on my own journey at an accelerated pace thanks to all of you. I have kept returning time after time and have tried to share what I have learned with newer members. I have always enjoyed helping people when I possess the knowledge that they need. This has always seemed especially true of helping a sister on her journey.
Lately however, I find less and less that I can contribute and find myself once again mainly reading a few of the threads before logging off. I also find that at the stage I have reached in my journey I am finding less and less help here and more and more help in the outside world.
I am now within months of formally beginning my own transition. I have completed my laser treatments, begun my electrolysis, obtained my hormone letter and selected the surgeon who will be performing the first two of my surgeries. I find that I would much rather be out in the world meeting and conversing with people face to face than sitting in a room all by myself and typing on a keyboard. I love going shopping and trying on and purchasing new clothing. I realize that I must build myself a complete wardrobe within the next few months so this just seems like a better use of my time.
I owe a great debt of gratitude to all of the woman I have met here who have helped me reach my current status. I am sure that I will return time and again, just as I have always done, but for now I find my time is better spent focused on my transition and my future life as a woman.

Nicole Erin

07-16-2012, 11:48 PM

YOu just kind of "grow up" in your new role.
The true noobs are still scared when buying panties, but then you get comfy, and eventually you get to a point where being TG is more in the back of your mind than the front.

TeresaL

07-17-2012, 08:18 AM

Inna, I am in the TS section mainly due to reading your early posts, then following them as you went from body building looks to hourglass shape. All during that time, you were focused on being a real woman, one that is true and representative of the GG world, the world of which you are walking in to. That hits home with me, and really, really would be the route I would pursue, if unbridled or unburdened by other cares of life. You moved those things out of the way, and are aiming for higher ground. For me, being a real woman trumps being a garish transvestite or a she-male, and I see your path is clearly on that journey. From my perspective, you want to be an honest to goodness lady who is part of the GG world.

When you are on the other side, you will indeed see this as a rather small, dinky place which is no longer necessary for you to use as a support system. So you may disappear, which will be good for you, but bittersweet for those of us who dream of being in your place. We selfishly want a continuation of your story, but do understand that you may simply move on. This site became small. Hoever, you've had a beautiful journey.

Aprilrain

07-17-2012, 09:10 AM

"Am I gettin bigger or is this place gettin smaller?"

OK Alice, i think its time to lay off the hard stuff!

kellycan27

07-18-2012, 03:21 PM

I used to be an avid poster in this forum, but people move on. I am to the point where I feel that I have much more in common with GG's than I do with transsexuals. I am married with kids, and I live, work and play in the mainstream. My issues are more about dealing with husband, child rearing, and everyday things rather than the issues of being a transsexual. What I am discovering is that about 98% of the threads are no longer of any real interest to me. Not that they aren't valid, but rather a... been there got the t-shirt kind of thing. That being said.. I still have some friends here that I do like to try and keep up with, and even argue with from time to time. :heehee: We move forward and graduate.. the new regime comes up and replaces us.

Rebecca Star

07-18-2012, 03:47 PM

I hope you don't mind me chimming in Inna :)

When I first joined it was like being let loose in a candy store. In the 1'st month I chalked up around 240 posts. While I'm a long way away from being an old timer here, and while I still participate in a number of forums which also include those about beauty tips et...al, I'm starting to find some threads simply don't address my current situation; I'm not in the closet.

Probably the most frustrating aspect for me is having to wade through what's real (said with genuine frankness) and what's just fantasy speak. Which seems all too common in the CD sections, as apposed to what's real and spoken about in the TS forums. While I don't identify as TS, more than likely I'm sitting quitely backstage listening.

Don't get me wrong I sometimes like the "Pink Fog" threads, they make me smile and sometimes make my day a little bighter. But on the same token I'm the type of person who needs the bones and all, not just the broth.

Badtranny

07-18-2012, 09:32 PM

I used to be an avid poster in this forum,.

Yes, you were a huge HUGE inspiration to me.

Some of your earlier posts spoke to me for some reason.

Stephanie-L

07-18-2012, 10:12 PM

Interestingly I was thinking along a similar line recently. I used to love the crossdressing and beauty forums, now I rarely read them. I come here to communicate with others in the same situation I am, and those further along. I really no longer care about the "Guess what color panties I wore today" threads. I see the value of those threads, they just have no value for me anymore. Yes, I have grown and changed a lot since I have started here........Stephanie

Kate Simmons

07-19-2012, 01:13 PM

Not at all Inna. The way I see it is it is the beginning of the beginning. We are growing and evolving as our feminine selves and all arriving at womanhood from different directions, whether we physically transitioned or not. The previous has been as a developing female child in a protective womb that we ourselves created. We are arriving or have arrived in the world and the sky is the limit as to what we can accomplish. We are really only limited by our own imagination Hon. I don't know about anyone else but I can "imagine" quite a bit.:)

KellyJameson

07-19-2012, 05:38 PM

Sometimes the seriousness of being TS takes on a religious fervor and those most in need feel unwelcome.

Many of the posts express this by starting off with an apology for posting and this in my mind represents a serious failing on all our parts because we repeat the crime
that was perpetrated on us who know the pain of exclusion well.

It is easy to build a fortress mentality of self protection by narrow definitions of what is and what is not TS but the more this is done the less value our words will hold for others who need them and so we come from fear and not love.

Those who have walked the path to transition do not have a duty to guide others but if they remember how scared and alone they felt at times and the thoughts of wanting to die and those that saved them by pulling them back from the brink it would be difficult to not want to give something back.

This forum has value but it is limited in that survival happens in the streets but the keyboard can be a resource for sharing how each of us are finding ways to not
only cope but flourish.

Sharing builds community but all should feel they are welcome.

Just as it is better to free a guilty person than send an innocent to prison it is better to welcome anyone who may or may not be TS because to sit in judgement is to risk
sending someone in need out into the cold.

In my opinion "rejection" and not inclusion is the achilles heel of the trans community and so we continue to isolate ourselves by rigid definitions (words) when warm hearts and a generous spirit should be our guide.

I think people would share more but they fear being judged. (attacked)

Badtranny

07-19-2012, 10:52 PM

I think people would share more but they fear being judged. (attacked)

I think I've been an outspoken proponent of doing it your own damn way and I feel like I'm as inclusive as anyone could be, but I disagree with the idea that the TS community should strive to be more welcoming. During the course of my journey I've met a few people that have serious issues and I can't help but think they have misdiagnosed themselves. I still stand by my opinion that if you can't handle some tough or rude comments on the internet than you are not prepared for the life that is waiting for you. It's funny because I never felt like I would be welcomed into the "community" because I was, and am so outspoken about being independent. So much of my life and transition is considered offensive by the established trans community so I find myself at odds with the trans ideology even today when I am full time and actually living as a trans woman.

If I wasn't able to deal with the barbs from my own sisters, I can promise you that transition would be too much for me.

Melody Moore

07-19-2012, 11:25 PM

I think I've been an outspoken proponent of doing it your own damn way and I feel like I'm as inclusive as anyone could be, but I disagree with the idea that the TS community should strive to be more welcoming. During the course of my journey I've met a few people that have serious issues and I can't help but think they have misdiagnosed themselves. I still stand by my opinion that if you can't handle some tough or rude comments on the internet than you are not prepared for the life that is waiting for you. It's funny because I never felt like I would be welcomed into the "community" because I was, and am so outspoken about being independent. So much of my life and transition is considered offensive by the established trans community so I find myself at odds with the trans ideology even today when I am full time and actually living as a trans woman.

If I wasn't able to deal with the barbs from my own sisters, I can promise you that transition would be too much for me.

Melissa, you took the words right out of my mouth with that statement. xx