I love crossdressing but...

[Jill]

I'm a compulsive shopper. Crossdressing is so much fun and it makes me feel so good but I just can't stop shopping. A friend of mine pointed this out recently at our local Tri-ess meeting, that crossdressers are often compulsive shoppers. This wouldn't be a bad thing except that when I need money for other things like car repair, dating and the other thing in life I want really bad, traveling, I have no money because I HAD to have that next item, that next cute skirt, top or shoes.

I've recently come to the conclusion that hiding problems and being in denial about them only makes them bigger and worse. I am operating under the belief that by admitting to it being a problem and putting it out there, it will have less of a hold on me and be less of a problem. Anyone want to join my support group here and admit that they have a bit of shopping problem? Do you feel powerless to shop?

[kimdl93]

Its possible that obsessive compulsive disorder and CDing may be related behaviors. It's not something I like to acknowledge, but there is almost certainly a compulsive element to my CDing, although I manage to keep the destructive aspects largely under control. Do you find that you're obsessive about CDing or shopping?

[Jill]

That's a good question, I would have to say that dressing is definitely compulsive as well. I don't really obsess about it so much as it just seems compulsive but I also am able to dress fairly often. I know there is going to be a certain amount of dressing and shopping but I agree with what you said Kim, I would like to have more control over it.

[STACY B]

I did the same thing as you once ,, An the way I stoped was dont buy ANYTHING you WONT wear in public . Dont buy all that bullcrap that you know dam good an well your not ever going to wear . Cuz we have alot of issues about buying all that stuff we never got to get when we were younger an want to get it now an just cant aford it ,,So next time STOP an say am I realy going to wear this somewhere ? Save the costums for Halloween ,,,LOL,,,,

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jill, Guilty a charged I have three closets overflowing.
What I've done is to start bringing things from the back of the
closet that I've forgot about It's like getting new things again.

[Cynthia Anne]

I love to shop but I realize I have other respondablites to take care of! I guess that makes me a compulsive window shopper!

[stacycoral]

Jill, it is hard sometimes to see a cute outfit and can't buy it, or worst it not even close to your size! Hugs

[jaye_cd]

When I let myself go shopping, I am very compulsive. Case in point: I popped into the Lingerie superstore this weekend only intending to pick up a new par of stockings, and walked out with a new corset, a new bustier, and several pairs of stockings. Shopping on payday weekends is bad for my wallet. :(

[Cheryl T]

I'm definitely OCD to a point.
That being said, I don't have difficulty shopping and just looking. The other night my wife and I were out looking for some sales on bathing suits (she wanted a new top or two) and as I helped with the search I of course found some that I loved. When she had what she wanted she asked if I was getting the ones I saw for me. I told her no, I have 2 suits already and that was enough as I don't swim that often.
She gave me a quizzical look and then realized how practical I was being. Then we passed the makeup section and she asked if I needed anything. I told her no and we just kept walking.
When I see something I really really want that's another story, but I don't buy things just to have them. I want to wear them and not look at them in my closet.

[Georgia_Maine]

Yes, it is a compulsion that most need to conquer. I put myself on a budget. I set aside a certain amount of money each month for Gigi. If there isn't have enough money in the savings account then I don't buy and save until I do. Truthfully, this is a good idea in other parts of our finances.

Gigi

[JenniferR771]

Shopping at a retail store is a form of acceptance. The salesgirl helps you, compliments you, and perhaps suggests accessories. This is so fun and such a great feeling for a cd. Myself I am very cheap and my SO keeps me on a short leash. I often stop by my favorite thrift once a week--see my favorite clerk--and just buy one dress...or if they are extra cute in my size...one pair of shoes. Of course, thrift store sales associates don't normally help much, sometimes I ask for help with a zipper. And last year my favorite sales clerk helped my pick out a perfume that she thought would go well with my "look".
Naturally, my storage stash is overflowing.

[linda allen]

I did the same thing as you once ,, An the way I stoped was dont buy ANYTHING you WONT wear in public .

Well, since I'm not going out in public anytime soon, that would leave me running around the house naked! :eek:

So I have some skirts and blouses to wear around the house. It's not cutting into my food budget yet. :heehee:

I will say though, if I was going out in public, anything I have bought would be appropriate. No hooker skirts or shoes.

[Joanna41]

Set yourself a specific weekend to shop after bills are paid up. With what you have left over treat yourself or save it for a rainy day.

Joanna

[Tracii G]

I do the thrift shop thing to save money it takes time but you can find some very nice outfits.
I do shop at Khol's,Catherine's and other places too but keep it to a minimum.

[Stephanie47]

I know your pain, i.e., not knowing when to stop shopping. Years ago I started keeping an Excel spreadsheet for all the slips I have purchased (350+) and a Word document for all the dresses I have (83). Out of the 83 dresses only two are floor length gowns. The rest of the dresses are casual dresses I am able to wear everyday, However, when would I ever get to wear them all? Bras? Too many to ever wear one a day for a month! If you think you are a compulsive buyer, wait until you are retired with absolutely no debts and mortgage payments with so much time on your hands to peruse on line sales and eBay! Until that happens you need to make a budget which includes setting aside savings for long range and short range purchases. But, in order to maintain sanity, you need to treat yourself to something every payday. It may be a low budget item, but, something. That goes for anyone, not just cross dressers.

[ReineD]

I'm a compulsive shopper. Crossdressing is so much fun and it makes me feel so good but I just can't stop shopping. A friend of mine pointed this out recently at our local Tri-ess meeting, that crossdressers are often compulsive shoppers. This wouldn't be a bad thing except that when I need money for other things like car repair, dating and the other thing in life I want really bad, traveling, I have no money because I HAD to have that next item, that next cute skirt, top or shoes.

I've recently come to the conclusion that hiding problems and being in denial about them only makes them bigger and worse. I am operating under the belief that by admitting to it being a problem and putting it out there, it will have less of a hold on me and be less of a problem. Anyone want to join my support group here and admit that they have a bit of shopping problem? Do you feel powerless to shop?

Thank you so much for posting this!! :hugs:

I've overcome compulsive behavior in my own life and I know the symptoms and where they lead. I know that when the behaviors go beyond a certain point, such as preventing someone from living up to their full potential in other areas of their lives (dating, travel, etc), or just taking care of other business (car & home repair, etc), it is not a joking matter.

I always cringe when I see the "You go girl" posts that encourage excessive shopping. No one really knows whether the person posting this has 30 pairs of shoes or 75, but when I see these posts I see the same attitudes that people who are in denial over their compulsions share. There's just a lot of rationalization, including the well worn, "GGs shop like that all the time too". Well, GGs who shop like that also have shopping compulsions and they also need help. :p

There are resources online for shopping compulsions. You should look into them. :hugs:

[Lynn Marie]

I've been OCD in just about every hobby I've pursued over the years, and my CDing certainly is no different. Money has always been "no object" in my interests, but space restraints have kept me from any form of buying insanity. I love my hobbies/obsessions, but I also obsess about keeping my surrounding clean, neat, and uncluttered. So my multiple OCD's sort of cancell each other out!

[EjayeCD]

Jill, go to thrift shops. You can shop all you want & it will be cheap.

[danielletorresani]

I had a HUGE problem with shopping for a while. I spent a lot of money and it was a pretty unhealthy phase for me. That was the time in my life that the pink fog absolutely enslaved my mind. I have it a bit more under control these days...

[NathalieX66]

It's funny how money gets in the way of everything. :heehee:

[stepanie]

I'm with StacyB. If you're never going to wear it in public and you already have more clothes than you can wear in a month...why buy more? I have a few outfits that I really like and when I get the chance to dress-up those are the ones I want to wear and the rest hardly ever get worn.

[PretzelGirl]

My name is Sue and I have a shopping problem. Mine never got to where I was spending money I shouldn't (shouldn't being ill-defined but all other things were taken care of). But early on I ended up with a lot of things and what I call "whatever". Single items that looked good on the rack but never fit right or had a matching piece to make the outfit. So I built some rules that only have one excuse if I break them and that is if I run into an absolute must have. And I stick to that well. The combination of rules have spread things out to a good pace.

1. I won't buy a separate unless I am also buying or own the matching piece.
2. All purchases are in femme mode and I try them on if appropriate.
3. As stated above, I don't buy it unless I can wear it out. This one stopped me from buying a bathing suit recently that I really wanted and it was 75% off.
4. I don't have a set budget per se, but if I have already done some shopping recently with purchases, then I revert to window shopping for a while. Again, this can be broken for that absolute must have. Some deals just can't be passed up! :D

[Tracy - new dresser]

look at it as cost per wear..

if a pair of shoes cost $100 and your only wearing them 10 times a week thats $10 each time you wear them

if a pair of shoes cost $10 and you wear them 50 times a week thats $0.20 each time you wear them

but i think life is too short and i buy whatever makes me happy lol, that includes about $500 of clothes per month male and female that i rarely wear lol...... oh dear lol