--ADULT--trying to understand my secret

[erica12b]

hello all, i have a small problem, i like keeping my secret, online im open and even looking for a gg to share my life with or at least share a friend ship with im on yahoo,and aaf all under the same name, to date i have meet one gg and now she moved away, in my area there are so few gg or cd to even talk too (i know of two tv, theyr in to getting some )im looking for some one to SHARE my secret with but i don't want it spread it(i think i'll stay in the closet) is this wrong, i love to dress and be as fem as i can ,but i also like being a guy every one online want me to eather go more fem or more guy had one gg tell me i cant have it both ways and keep it secret ,, this is frustrating is this just me (freakin) ...erica+?

[Sharon]

Just be yourself, Erica. Don't worry about trying to fit into any molds, especially here among friends.

Online, there is no reason to behave as anyone else wants you to, and if they don't accept you for what you are, then there's no big loss.

[gina13]

The mind is a terrible thing :lol2: and a beautiful thing also!
since there are no rules
then there are no rules to break
live your life to your specifications
trust your feelings
accept yourself
and embrace the ones who you choose to share yourself with.
in the world its ok to live in a disquise and protect yourself
from the ignorant and insidious.

you can decide who you let in
and leave out

just be true to you.

xxxooo
gina :)

[andreaboots]

Hey girl!! Just try to be yourself as much as possible and let things flow naturally. When you try to force issues they usually wind up on the confusing negative side. Continue to do what makes you happy!:)

[Görel]

I have the same problem, I want to be so much fem and I also want to be the man I am. I do have nylons and a girdle at work sometime. I think when we drinking coffe, you should know what I wearing. :rolleyes:

[erica12b]

so everyone is saying to just be me and not push , i have tryed that some and that is mostly what im doing, i have put out some personal ad's and put in them that its a cd fetish, i feel if a dont tell the girl up frount about my dressing then ill hid it again and go down the same road, im trying to tell the truth at all times .and in all ways ,it is so frustrating most (all but 3gg) in my area wont even give me the time of day when they see or find out i dress . this makes me so mad ,they dont know that i will be a better boyfriend ,lover,friend than any just guy because we would share this , so how do i get to meet and greet the right kind of girls ,

its a strange wourld i want to keep my secret,yet i want to share it with the right girl, if i tell all girls the secret first then they go away and i have knowone ,to even date, if i keep my secret to my self then i may find a girl to date but then will need to keep it from her becuse i was not up front with her in the first place(this is the jist of my life)
if any one can say this parigraph better please do so i can copy it in my head , this is my only theripy erica

[derminator]

Erica - I know how you feel...... I am in a similar situation... I love dressing up, but I also like being a guy. Sometimes the two worlds clash and that's ok - just deal with it as it happens.

It's funny though, I pretty much keep my CD'ing a secret, except for the odd occasion I feel that I'm close enough (mentally) to a GG that I let my secret out... i get the weirdest responses....
* my wife, when we first met, was told, she said 'oh, ok' and just pretended like she never heard anything... subject has rarely ever been re-opened
* a GG-friend who wanted to be more than friends (she was really out there)... at least i thought she was, when i told her, i think she laughed... said i was sick... but funnily enough, when i asked her if she had some lingerie that she would like to part with she gave me a shopping bag full of stuff.... soon after she split up with her boyfriend, moved out of the area and changed her phone, e-mail etc.....
* an old-school friend whom i kept in correspondence with, plus the odd-phone call... we told each other everything that happened in our lives, until the day that I told her about my CD'ing - she took it calmly, told me that if it was my thing then that's ok but asked if it was confusing, when i tried to explain in more detail she broke the conversation off with some other subject. I haven't heard form her since... she has never responded to my e-mails....... this was a devastating blow for me - i thought i really kenw this person.