Do you think it's inevitable that you will have to give it up?

[Brittany CD]

This is mainly for younger crossdressers, but anyone can give their opinion

The main conflict I have with crossdressing is the possible inevitability of having to give it up. I love being a woman and prefer to be in my female clothes but I feel every time I become Katie, she's one day closer to going away for good, mainly because I know that this is still a taboo thing to do and I know I would give it all up in a heartbeat for the right woman. Do any of you feel this way?

[MsJanessa]

This is mainly for younger crossdressers, but anyone can give their opinion

The main conflict I have with crossdressing is the possible inevitability of having to give it up. I love being a woman and prefer to be in my female clothes but I feel every time I become Katie, she's one day closer to going away for good, mainly because I know that this is still a taboo thing to do and I know I would give it all up in a heartbeat for the right woman. Do any of you feel this way?

As a CD who is not so young any more, I'm firmly convinced that you cannot give it up, regardless of whether or not you find the "right woman"(and btw, the"right woman" is the one who will not want you to give it up, but will share it with you) Any attempt to give up CDing for someone else will not only make you very very unhappy but be unsucessful. Sooner or later it will raise its lovely, silken head again.

[Launa]

I will try and answer this one however I'm middle age... I have stopped dressing several times over the years for the right women. I have thrown clothes away and even torched a bunch of them one time. I found that for several years I could bury all crossdressing tendencies but then it came back around again. It was the old whip factor and it cracked me hard in the back of the head. Now I have no intention of ever quitting but at the same time I have an awesome wife! I thank the stars she doesn't ask me to put it all away because I can't anymore. I'm not going to live my life with the shame and guilt as I did before, screw that but at the same time I would never want to give everything up for womens clothes either. What a crazy thing.

[RADER]

I guess my only fear is that the kids will find out about my dressing after I die.
I just do not want them to think badly of me; now or some time in the future.
Rader

[Elizabeth]

This is mainly for younger crossdressers, but anyone can give their opinion

The main conflict I have with crossdressing is the possible inevitability of having to give it up. I love being a woman and prefer to be in my female clothes but I feel every time I become Katie, she's one day closer to going away for good, mainly because I know that this is still a taboo thing to do and I know I would give it all up in a heartbeat for the right woman. Do any of you feel this way?

You would give it all up for the right woman? Maybe for a while. But like a shiny new car that finally becomes just another monthly payment, the newness wears off and the desire to dress returns. Usually stronger than it was before.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[ronda]

yea i think we all thought that at one time and most have tried only to find it was never gone just in hiding for a short time this is not something i want to do it is something i have done all of my life and i am now comfortable with my self because it is who i amand i am happy being me and the right woman will be happy with me as i am Hugs Ronda

[RileyEvans]

Katie I feel the exact same way you do. There is nothing I love more than being Riley, but there is a feeling sometimes that I need to give it up and move on. I have quit many times and had no desire to dress but for me it just kind of takes one thing and I'm right back doing it. I dont know how things will go in the future as I'm fixin to move out of my parents house, I may give it up or the desire will grow. But I guess the only way to see is to let things take their coarse and just enjoy the time you have being Katie.

[whowhatwhen]

Nope, never.
I've read so many posts here about those who've tried and the relationships destroyed by people hiding who they really are.

[Sandy Michaels]

i just asked myself this a few hours ago. sorta freaked out at the possibility of not being able to dress or live openly about my sexuality. soon i'll have to take a pause from this wonderful lifestyle. it's a decision that has taken years for me to commit to, but it's what i want. i want to do something that will require me to be 100% committed. once that's over i will bring sandy out of the closet again.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Katie, Crossdressing is like the Miafa, You can't just quit it.

[Karren H]

id love to give it up tomorrow....... what I really fear is the day I have to give up playing ice hockey..... which is coming sooner than I want.....

[NathalieX66]

id love to give it up tomorrow....... what I really fear is the day I have to give up playing ice hockey..... which is coming sooner than I want.....

If you give up hockey, there's always crossdressing.....just sayin' :D

[AllieSF]

I actually think that it is a great question that has caused me to think about what would happen if I had to give it all up. In your case as others have already said, I think that it will always come back from everything that I have read, though one member here believes that anyone can give it up completely. As it applies to me, being an older and very late starter, I have wondered what is going to happen when I can not physically take care of myself through an accident, severe illness or just more old age. I guess at that point I probably just have to live without it, though I really do enjoy it and embrace it as an important part of me.

Regarding your kids finding out before or after your soul leaves this good earth, I think that they will have to deal with it as best they can. My kids don't know and probably will not know unless they "discover" or catch me in the act. So, when I die they may have the answer to why I am acting different since retiring, i.e. ears pierced, plucked eyebrows and a very big closet overflowing with women's clothing and accessories. I trust me kids to handle it well, hopefully getting some good laughs out of it. Even if they do not, I really do not care. I know that they love me with all my strangeness known and unknown. When I am dead, I am dead and it really does not matter.

[Rachel Morley]

I have wondered what is going to happen when I can not physically take care of myself through an accident, severe illness or just more old age. I guess at that point I probably just have to live without it, though I really do enjoy it and embrace it as an important part of me.
This is something that worries me. I can't imagine what it would be like to be in an old peoples home and not be able to dress. I think that would drive me nuts. Not to hijack this thread but my wife Marla has said the same to me that it would be such a shame for an older CDer in that kind of senior home situation and she even said that she would love to go visit old folks at the home (that she knew from before) and help them dress, put makeup on etc and be able to help them to still enjoy their dressing. However, she thinks that the senior's home staff would probably have something to say about that, as well as the family of the CD (especially if they were still in the closet to their family) .. in other words. It's not really work-able or do-able.

[Pretty Nails]

This is something that worries me. I can't imagine what it would be like to be in an old peoples home and not be able to dress. I think that would drive me nuts. Not to hijack this thread but my wife Marla has said the same to me that it would be such a shame for an older CDer in that kind of senior home situation and she even said that she would love to go visit old folks at the home (that she knew from before) and help them dress, put makeup on etc and be able to help them to still enjoy their dressing. However, she thinks that the senior's home staff would probably have something to say about that, as well as the family of the CD (especially if they were still in the closet to their family) .. in other words. It's not really work-able or do-able.

Now that my wife knows I don't think I could ever give it up. Its too much a part of me now - always was but now its running in high gear!

And, Rachel, you are right that the dressing assistance thing for the home bound would be hard to pull off but I admire your wife for even thinking that that would be a good idea. That is very respectable.

[Karren H]

If you give up hockey, there's always crossdressing.....just sayin' :D

Hockey is my life.... Anything else is just a place I go between games!

[sterling12]

Years ago, I think a lot of us thought the very same thing! Your young, and the tendency is to not believe your elders, but I am about 99% sure that it will never leave you.

But, it does "wax and wain." I think most of us have had periods in our life where we "abstained." Some individuals have reported to us that they sometimes go for many years without dressing. However, no one in my recollection, has ever claimed that "The Feelings" ever went away. It's always somewhere in the back of your mind, and just about a million things can trigger Those Feelings.

Often, Middle-Age triggers new, stronger feelings. Perhaps it's a feeling of mortality, and opportunities missed, perhaps it's decreasing testosterone levels, or maybe it's the phase of The Moon! But, none the less it seems to happen, with even the most "hard-core" Naysayer. Then we hear about all sorts of regrets, for wasted time, for unfulfilled dreams.

Your Choice? You can try to suppress it now, and probably "Pay The Piper" later, or you learn to accept what is, and build your life on some new realities.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[kathtx]

The "right" woman for you will be someone who accepts you as you are.

[Cynthia Anne]

Give up! Sure 'cause I already did! And Cynthia WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[melissakozak]

Sure. Go ahead. Give it up. You will not be happy in the long run, trust me. I know....

[Alice Torn]

Great thread! I have been thinking similar thoughts. At 58 and still single and alone, and very inot dressing, I wonder if i ever have cahance to marry. Well, after all these lonely years, I have found a lady on singlesnet.com. I have showed her many pics of Alice, and she seems to accept it, but wants a man, not a woman. I show her pics of male me, too. I have to admit, that i seem to prefer Alice, over a real woman, in some respects. I need to weigh it all, and decide if a real SO, is worth more than my dressing. I know that when we are seriosly injured, we can't dress. I got bruised ribs and chest bone, a month ago, and sure did not feel like dressing. Death will surely end dressing.

[Nicole Erin]

Yes you will eventually have to give up crossdressing. Usually by about the age of 25 you can no longer do it.

[TeresaL]

I tried to give it up when I was 14, then 15...25...35...45...55, and it's all in vain. All my three kids and two of their wives know it, my wife of course knows it, and my cat knows it. Lots of others know it too, and I never told them, LOL. So I have nothing to loose and will never give it up again. No more purging. Never. I'll move to another state if it's threatened. Heheh

[UNDERDRESSER]

I'm middle aged as well. I'm preparing myself to tell my somewhat younger, potential GF. I've never dressed as such, mostly these days I just wear panties. i could just bury it, but i don't want to start something that I think is going to be a significant relationship on the basis of a lie, even only one of omission.

[SerenityQueen]

I'm under 30 and married. I don't think I would ever be able to give it up. Before I accepted myself for who I am, I used to try and give it up, but it always resurfaces sometime.

I think the worse thing you can do is try and bury it, then marry, then it pops up 5/10/20 years down the line again. Remember when you marry it is not just about yourself anymore. It is now about the whole of the sum. SO and you. Honesty is the best policy in my opinion.

[Antoinette]

Giving it up?! Please, maybe give the woman within a vacation but she isn't going anywhere for too long. Try all you may she'll keep whispering in your ear oh so softly.

lol but yea, there's no giving it up I can assure you of that.

[Jessica86]

No. I am 26 (since the 8th...happy birthday to me...) and wouldn't trade it for the world. Why? It's who I am. I have learned to accept that point. My wife is a woman who loves me for who I am. She fully supports what I do. They are out there. Also, I have two children and I am a cop in a state that is practically 75 percent republican. I'm not giving up who I am. That just leads to disaster.

[Sweet Caroline]

It's not inevitable that you will give it up, however odds are you will abandon it before your life's end. I am 70 and have been cross dressing since the 1950's. I have been everywhere and done it all. Dressing now is a real chore. It takes time, energy and money that is at a premium now. My results are still good 70 passing for 50 LOL.
I still do enjoy it, more so now at home in private though. Last wekend I was out to dinner, show and karaoke. The thrill was just not there this time and has been decreasing over the past three years. I am tired of battling Societies Phobias about gender issues. Their ignorance bres me now. I no longer want to be an ambassador for Trans life. Good luck to you all. Keep in mind it does come to an end the day you look in the mirror and you see your grandmother.

[Tara D. Rose]

Guilt and shame forced me to make a decision back in '97. I let it all go for 13 years. And then all of a sudden, in 2010, it was triggered when I told my new wife about what I once "USED" to do. She loved it and so I did and now it is in me now for life. I cannot give up the desire ever, I can obstain sometimes, for my wife's sake, and it brings me great emotional pain to have to surpress it, so now I can anytime I want to. During the 13 year purge, it never left my mind though. It did seem though that one time my boss chewed me out in his office really ,really badly. It hurt me so. On my way home that day, though it had been years, I had one of the most uncontrolable urges to become Tara, I felt weightless in my car, I had a yearning and a craving to become her, but had nothing by way of that. Something that day was calling me in my mind, though I didn't follow what I was feeling that day, but it had been years, and all of a sudden, that but chewing triggered the desire ever so strongly.

With that being said, I know with all certainty, that for some of us that have been this way since the earliest of childhood, that it (the desire) never leaves us, Tara will be with me for the rest of my life.
Tara

[Katie83]

I am 29, i'm married and i have a 5 year old daughter. I don't see me ever giving up. As i've got older my confidence as Katie has increased as has the quality of the result i see in the mirror. But i go through periods where i don't dress for months at a time. It always comes back....
Katie

[jillleanne]

This is mainly for younger crossdressers, but anyone can give their opinion

The main conflict I have with crossdressing is the possible inevitability of having to give it up. I love being a woman and prefer to be in my female clothes but I feel every time I become Katie, she's one day closer to going away for good, mainly because I know that this is still a taboo thing to do and I know I would give it all up in a heartbeat for the right woman. Do any of you feel this way?

Oh how many times did I once repeat those words. Not saying we are alike, but I will only give it up when I draw my last breath of air. There is no taboo's in anything in life, just prejudism through ignorance. I will never give it up for anyone, ever. Accept me for who I am or move on.

[Cheryl T]

I felt that way years ago. Then I found the right woman and it went away (purge)...for a while.
It always came back and it always felt right. After hiding for 10 years she discovered me. It didn't go well, but it didn't end US.
Back into the closet I went until about 7 years ago and then I couldn't take it any longer.
Now after much discussion and tears I am free to be me with her love and support. The right woman was truly the right woman. And it feels so right to be the woman I felt inside as well.

[Laura912]

Been trying to give it up all my life. Will they put a pair of heels in the casket?

[Chari]

Great insight and advice from previous posts! However, it is YOUR life to choose/decide what is going to make YOU happy, comfortable, and confident in who YOU are! As long as you do not harm others, do not fear what others may say about being who you are, doing what you do is wrong, or it is not "normal". Last count almost 5% of the entire earth population is CDing! Please do not give up that which YOU enjoy!

[Desiree2bababe]

I haven't dressed in 16 years due to family and figure. I once was a hot to trot blonde bombshell but age took it's toll and I just gave it up, although it is still what floats my boat. Just don't dress any longer.

[cindybabe]

I have to agree with the majority here,You can try but what attracted and excited you about crossdressing never goes away ever

Its just what us girls like to do sometimes:hf:

[kimdl93]

I think that the idea of giving it up for the right woman is a highly unlikely and in fact dangerous delusion. Every CDr that has gotten into a marriage without telling has the idea that maybe it will go away. But that's based on the assumption that you dress to fill a void in your life...sexual or romatic...and from what you describe, dressing is more to you that a substitute for a companion. So, yes in the intial romantic throes of a relationship, your interest in dressing may abate, but ...after that initial thrill is gone, the experience of vast numbers of us has shown that the desire to dress will return. And then where are you?

[Kate Simmons]

Nothing is inevitable Katie, especially if we are in control of our own destiny.:battingeyelashes::)

[STACY B]

As a matter of fact Im looking forward to getting older as far as dressing goes ,,Cuz when people get older they tend to start looking alike ,, Sometimes when ya see older folks its harder to tell there gender ,,So it will be easier for all of us to get by .. Yee,,,,Haww,,,Im an ol Lady,,,, Nobodys mean to an ol Lady !

[Dawn cd]

Let's put it this way, I probably won't be dressed en femme when laid in my casket. But other than that...

[Stephanie47]

Katie, if you cannot express yourself, not matter where your desires are, you will be totally frustrated during your stay on earth. It's not just cross dressing. It may be playing an instrument, painting, woodworking, anything. Yes, cross dressing is taboo or frowned upon by society. However, that does not mean you should be forced to give it up. Life is about balance. One thing should not consume you because it will not let you enjoy other things in life. Balance, balance.

[Sally24]

id love to give it up tomorrow....... what I really fear is the day I have to give up playing ice hockey..... which is coming sooner than I want.....
There's always the "running of the brides" in Boston and elsewhere. Probably almost as physical as hockey and you get to shop at the same time!

[JamieQ]

Yep, you can give it up for the "right" woman...for a while or extended period of time... days, months, years???...then it comes back stronger than before. Ditto other posts... Amanda

[christina s]

At 20 years old i've already tried to give this up numerous times . I'm at the point where i've just accepted this is a part of me . While keeping this a secret while trying to date is very difficult because any time I start to have feelings for a girl , I wonder what the repercussions of me telling her that I CD will be. Especially since i'm a very masculine guy , she'll probably think i'm some sexual deviant who only does this to get off.


So i'm hoping one day , I can find that right girl who will love me for Chris and Christina . For the time being though I'm just going to enjoy life and see where the hell I end up .

[bridgetta]

I used to wish it would go away. I enjoy it tho and as you grow up youll probably understand that your allowed to be what you want.. that freedom is all we have. if its crossdressing or anything you like to do. its a matter of creating a space in your life for it.. its not easy and nobody prepares you to deal with the challenge.. it is your challenge. each has a challenge..

[NathalieX66]

Give it up? No.......No more.
I was a closet CD'er from high school, college, and afterwards....felt shame & guilt.
When I made a major career change, I purged, and vowed to give it up......didn't work.
When the stock market crashed in '08, and my company was laying off people, and I took a salary reduction, and I was drowning in debt , I felt like the world was coming to an end......so I went back into CD'ing. It was very self medicating. That's when I discovered I had a true identity.
Salary restored, home mortgage saved, then I became a part-time girl, and now I live it as often as I can......not all the time, but fairly frequently if and as I wish.

Nathalie is a part of me...not the whole or sum of me. ....and I accept and embrace this part of me.

[Eryn]

Societal pressure and my own guilt and shame caused me to deny it even to myself for 40+ years, yet for some reason it kept sneaking out until this Internet thing finally made information available to me so that I could understand myself better.

Expecting the "right woman" to cure you is unfair both to you and to that woman. The right woman will be accepting of all your facets.

[danielletorresani]

I know I have to give it up. I still get pleasure from it, but not nearly as much as I used to. Honestly it's been somewhat of an addiction more than a hobby in the past and when I dress up anymore, it feels like I'm chasing that first high...the high that I can never experience again.

When I think of the kind of person I want to be, I want to be a person who's not a crossdresser. I know this will offend some...or many, but that's how I feel. Of course, that doesn't mean I won't still try to have fun in the meantime...

[noeleena]

Hi,

Ill be a bit flipint ,

Heck...... whatll i wear, no male clothes no boy ummm spare bits . what will ill do, hate those guy clothes detest them & i wont wear them. bugger all else to wear. spos a sack over my head then. or the straight jacket in the little padded room, ill go insane , ....i am so it wont matter then will it.

You cant give up what you are , you can try And ,,,,,youll fail so take our advise , dont try, youll be sorry.

...noeleena...

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I don't feel like I'll have to give it up for the right woman, because I think the right woman will be okay with me and how I dress, however I do think that my youthful, boyish good looks that continue to get me carded even at 30, and that allow me some leeway into wearing some makeup and putting together workable "guy in skirt" outfits are definitely a blessing with a limited shelf life. I suppose women do have to adapt their styles as they grow older as well and so perhaps I will find a way to do so as well, but I don't know if my body at 40 or 50 will give me the sort of freedom I have at 30 to really explore my wardrobe the way I do.

[linda allen]

The "right" woman for you will be someone who accepts you as you are.

I was going to post that but you beat me to it. It's the truth though so I'll say it again:

The "right" woman for you will be someone who accepts you as you are. :thumbsup:

[Sophie_C]

This is mainly for younger crossdressers, but anyone can give their opinion

The main conflict I have with crossdressing is the possible inevitability of having to give it up. I love being a woman and prefer to be in my female clothes but I feel every time I become Katie, she's one day closer to going away for good, mainly because I know that this is still a taboo thing to do and I know I would give it all up in a heartbeat for the right woman. Do any of you feel this way?

This is the question of the ages. But, know that you won't likely be able to give it up, ever. If anything I've learned from here is that this sort of thing, whether it's CD or TG, it's for LIFE. You're going to have to learn to live with it, whether it's keeping it buried 10 feet deep in your closet or fully transitioning. It's not going away, even if you start dating Alessandra Ambrsio, Amber Heard, Kate Upton, etc...

[Di]

I think it is part of you and not something to give up. Heard many storys of cd's giving it up...or telling their partner they will give it up.....might work for a while but never have I seen it be a forever thing.
I THINK YOU should accept yourself as you are and find a partner that does as well.
Please do not try to fool yourself into the giving it up stuff.
There is nothing wrong with you....accept yourself as is.

[linda allen]

Crossdressing is something you do so you can "give it up" just like you can give up smoking or drinking alcohol. I've given up both.

The question is, are you willing to give it up and do you have a good reason to do so. I'm not saying it is easy, but it can be done.

[paulinescotlandcd]

I actually think that it is a great question that has caused me to think about what would happen if I had to give it all up. In your case as others have already said, I think that it will always come back from everything that I have read, though one member here believes that anyone can give it up completely. As it applies to me, being an older and very late starter, I have wondered what is going to happen when I can not physically take care of myself through an accident, severe illness or just more old age. I guess at that point I probably just have to live without it, though I really do enjoy it and embrace it as an important part of me.

Regarding your kids finding out before or after your soul leaves this good earth, I think that they will have to deal with it as best they can. My kids don't know and probably will not know unless they "discover" or catch me in the act. So, when I die they may have the answer to why I am acting different since retiring, i.e. ears pierced, plucked eyebrows and a very big closet overflowing with women's clothing and accessories. I trust me kids to handle it well, hopefully getting some good laughs out of it. Even if they do not, I really do not care. I know that they love me with all my strangeness known and unknown. When I am dead, I am dead and it really does not matter.

I could not have put it better myself, and my daughter (25) knows.

[Heather Daniels]

Id say that 70% of the people on this forum are more TG than simply CD. Its not like a light switch that you can turn off and on. Its something very deep within us that we have had since birth. A lot of us dont want to be this way, but the inner feminine attitude wins out. I honestly dont know how you can simply say "Im not doing this anymore", and just stop forever. If I could....... I would have stopped years ago. Somedays I hate myself for being like this, but I'm drawn to it like a bug to a light. I just can't resist the feelings that come over me when I see Heather looking back at me in the mirror. Hopefully, someday I'll be able to put it in my past, but I have no idea how that will happen.

[ArleneRaquel]

To me Cs'ind its in born and one can almost never stop the addictionm at this stage of my life I never want to stop or cut down.

[Rori]

I will never give up dressing because I feel that it may be potentially more than just a mere curiosity; more and more lately it's felt like something that i've needed to do but just how much I need to do it and how frequent is the questions i'm asking myself hehe

[Rebecca Star]

If only I had a better job; if only I lived in a better house; drove a better car; made more money etc...etc

Nothing is going change the fact you are who you are. And if you think you can give it up your either not a true CD or your dillusional. Besides, who wants to be in a relationship with anyone who wont accept you for the person you really are.

[linda allen]

Nothing is going change the fact you are who you are. And if you think you can give it up your either not a true CD or your dillusional..

It's called "willpower". One can't give up breathing or pooping, but one can give up things he has control over. When you get up in the morning, you have a choice of putting on a pair of pants or a skirt. If you have the willpower to stop crossdressing, you will put on the pants and discard the skirt.

I'm not saying that anyone should give up crossdressing, only that they can if they really want to.

[Heather Daniels]

It's called "willpower". One can't give up breathing or pooping, but one can give up things he has control over. When you get up in the morning, you have a choice of putting on a pair of pants or a skirt. If you have the willpower to stop crossdressing, you will put on the pants and discard the skirt.

I'm not saying that anyone should give up crossdressing, only that they can if they really want to.

Do you actually know someone who has completely stopped dressing? I'm not saying that it is impossible, but I am not aware of anyone who has been completely successful at it. I tend to think that if someone's willpower was strong enough to keep them from dressing....they would begin to suffer greatly from the depression caused by the lack of dressing. This really is something deeply rooted in a lot of us.

[Kaz]

I'm just repeating, but in my experience and capturing the received wisdom, this never goes away... you'll meet the right girl and give up and then... the beast returns! I have spent my life going through this... I realised in my late 40s that it was here to stay and that moment changed my life! If I had known that in my 20s...would life have been different?..... you bet!

[sterling12]

Oh Linda, I think for many of us it's a lot more than an addiction. Unlike smoking and drinking, it may be an integral part of ourselves, hardwired into our brains. I think it would be more like hacking off your arm! Sure, with enough willpower it can be done, but I'm trying to imagine the one or two individuals who would actually try that. Odds are good if you could work up "The Willpower" to hack off your arm, you would simply bleed to death. So, The Consequences of your Act of Willpower could be something far worse.

Same thing for Trans People. The Attempt to try and quit, makes you depressed, paranoid, angry, and generally acting crazy! I have been told that we have had people who have committed suicide, related to such decisions. IMHO, to relate it to a simple Act of Willpower is probably trivializing an Act where one attempts to destroy part of themselves. In other words, it just ain't that easy!

Accepting yourself isn't easy either, but it's a hell of a lot easier than The Madness that can accompany The Effort to quit! Before people try The Latter, I suggest they think long and hard about possible consequences.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[spiroxlii]

"One day," I always think to myself, "I won't be pretty enough to be a girl anymore."

It's a thought that terrifies me some days. I feel like I'm wasting my best "girl years" being poor and working myself to death. I can't find the time or the money these days to keep myself groomed and clothed as a female, and I worry that when I am in a position to slow down and enjoy living my life, I won't like the girl I see in the mirror anymore.

[KateSpade83]

- The inevitability that I have to quit crossdressing... Right now, I have a big dream $40,000 collection of clothes, like over 120 skirt suits, beautiful cheerleader outfits, rare Catholic schoolgirl skirts, etc. And I'm faced with the thought that crossdressing curses my life. A BIG WORRY is that God is cursing me with unemployment until I purge ALL of my women's clothes, and that would hurt too much! Come Aug 15 2012 and I will be 4 years unemployed! But I tell God to bless me with two things, a pretty woman my size 4 to 6 so she can wear my collection and 2) money in the form of a good paying job or Lotto Win. - This would help convert my life a little, and make me crossdress less.

[Josie M]

I used to think that way as well but, you won't give it up for "the right woman" or any other reason. I thought I would give it up when I started a family. I did....for a while, but it always comes back. I've learned that it's part of who I am and it ultimately has to be accepted. These days, I mostly regret not just accepting it from the beginning.

If anything, my female side seems to get stronger as I get older.

[PretzelGirl]

First off, don't ever go into a marriage thinking that it will go away. That is a move that has failed for so many.

But I am going to buck the trend a little. I believe there are some that can quit this thing that we do. I will admit it is small cross section, but there are some. One of the things that we tend to do is that we take our feelings and we automatically think it applies to all. Well we all have our reasons for doing this and it is certainly reasonable to believe that some do it for reasons other than those internal feelings. All you have to do is read this board for a while and you can see a broad cross section of about every thought process going. One wants to go out, one is for fetish, one will never leave the closet. Somewhere in here we have to understand that our thoughts and reasons are very broad and we have to try and stop painting each other to resemble ourselves.

And I think most will agree that those internal feelings are what keep bringing many back. But what if someone does it for some other reason than what is inside of them? Well the old question of where are they if they quit gives me a good laugh. They shouldn't be here any more than someone leaving a religion being at the church or a former smoker being at a smoke shop. So if they quit, we aren't going to see them again.

Now that I have said that, I want to reiterate that I do believe it is a small group as evidenced by the large group saying the opposite in this thread. So I wouldn't go in a marriage without disclosing. I wouldn't purge all of your femme items. I wouldn't do anything with finality that can hurt you later if you are unsuccessful. If someone was to be successful in the long run, the rest can take care of itself in the long haul instead of immediately.

[Heather Daniels]

I used to think that way as well but, you won't give it up for "the right woman" or any other reason. I thought I would give it up when I started a family. I did....for a while, but it always comes back. I've learned that it's part of who I am and it ultimately has to be accepted. These days, I mostly regret not just accepting it from the beginning.

If anything, my female side seems to get stronger as I get older.

O M G ...... This rings so true for me too, only difference.... I have yet to fully accept it.

[Jacqueline Winona]

Quitting is pretty much impossible. Do you need to dress to live? Literally, no, you're not going to die if you can't wear a skirt or panties. But this is a part of who we are, and giving up a sense of self forever is very hard to do. If you're naturally competitive, it's just not possible to be satisfied with a life where you don't have any challenge. Likewise, those people who I know that are nurturers are completely miserable when they have to fight every day and everything is a test of wills, strength, etc. Dressing is similar to us, we can ignroe it, repress it, mabye not even need it for very long periods of time, but the desire/need to do it always comes back.

[Krististeph]

The day i 'give it up' is the day i set off one way into the back country of the SD Badlands--- an exquisite place to stop living.
TE Lawrence was right about the desert...

[linda allen]

I think it's important to remember that anyone who quit crossdressing is not likely to be a member of this forum so the posts here will naturally be pretty biased.

For anyone who thinks crossdressing is "hard wired" into someone's brain, I want you to think of tribal people living in the jungle. Any crossdressers there? How about in the Islamic countries. Any crossdressers there?

It may be cultural, it may be something based on early life experiences (I suspect I crossdress because my mother really wanted a daughter, not a son, and may have done things to let me know this when I was young).

I don't think the Creator makes babies and decides "this one will be gay, this one will be a crossdresser, this one will grow up to be a criminal, etc.".

[Jenniferathome]

I do not feel as you at all. I think you "think" you will give it up for the right woman but I believe crossdressing is genetic. It is part of my DNA, not a fetish thing. There is no way I will ever "stop" even if I don't dress for lengthy periods, it s there.

I think the right woman for a crossdresser is a woman who can accommodate this part of your life. That does not mean join with you in your dressing but simply understand that this is a part of you and allow you to dress when you need and within certain boundaries that she can live with. These women exist. They are even on the forum.

[Rebecca Star]

For anyone who thinks crossdressing is "hard wired" into someone's brain, I want you to think of tribal people living in the jungle. Any crossdressers there? How about in the Islamic countries. Any crossdressers there?

I haven't lived in a tribe in the jungle so I can't pass comment on that. But I can assure you there are Transgender people in Islamic countries. Difference is, they keep it under lock and key, because if they didn't and they were found out, they'd likely be stoned to death or something horrid like that.

I don't profess to know the answers to why some guys CD and others don't. But like Jennifer I also believe it's in our DNA.



I don't think the Creator makes babies and decides "this one will be gay, this one will be a crossdresser, this one will grow up to be a criminal, etc.".

But all the bad stuff that happens in the world, like starvation, wars, persecution, greed, floods, that's ok is it?

Because I believe it's part of our DNA, I believe at the time of conception some of us just happen to get that extra gene. It's why I think some are gay, they're just born that way.

As far as a criminal that's a broad spectrum. I'm sure some people do it by choice to survive, while others decided (make a mental choice) to become career criminals. On the other hand, there are pathological killers. These type of criminals display narcissistic behaviour, antisocial disorders and most times including clinically diagnosed mental illnesses. People like Ted Bundy for instance.

While I respect your opinions, I'm going to interject and say, I think in some instances, your generalisation are way off the mark. Hence I'm sticking with the opinion it's in our DNA.

Added:
Explain how a 3 year old become a violin prodigy at such a young age? What about these children who have never visited a destination but can recall infrastructure - roads, buildings etc..etc to fine point detail. These certainly aren't learned behaviour. Yes I believe in reincarnation. Maybe my Cding could also be the result of a past life experience as a woman, maybe my life was cut short, IDK.

What I'm confident in is, I was born a CD not made into one.

[Tina B.]

This is mainly for younger crossdressers, but anyone can give their opinion

The main conflict I have with crossdressing is the possible inevitability of having to give it up. I love being a woman and prefer to be in my female clothes but I feel every time I become Katie, she's one day closer to going away for good, mainly because I know that this is still a taboo thing to do and I know I would give it all up in a heartbeat for the right woman. Do any of you feel this way?

I'm an old CD, I know you are looking for younger members for opinons, but I was young once, and had the same feeling you have, I would have given it up for the right woman too. Turns out in fact I did, but it only lasted a couple of years, and then the need to dress came back stronger than ever. It all depends on why you dress, but I seem to have no choice, I need to dress, or I'm miserable, so the only answer was to find a women that would love me just as I am, I did, and life has been great every since.
Tina B.

[Sarah Doepner]

The question posed was about stopping your crossdressing for the right woman, and it's a good question. I think you could stop. However, if you are one of those who has this as an integral part of their personality there will be tradeoffs that will likely come to play. I've put off dressing in the past and eventually I get difficult to live with, distracted and begin to build emotional walls between me and those I love. By denying that part of my life, I am punishing not just myself but those around me. On the other side of the coin, if I invest too much in crossdressing I ignore the needs of those I love and it becomes a mistress that will ruin my life that way as well. It's more of a management issue now, finding the right balance between all the needs in life and making sure those things that are just "wants" aren't mistaken for "needs" and upsetting the apple cart.

I can only hope you find that the "right" woman will understand that she loves you for your ability to experience a wide range of emotions and appreciate life that encompasses a non-traditional take on gender expression. Those are parts of your personality that can be positive if encouraged and properly channeled. If you are anything like me, don't expect that you will be able to wall it all off because, if experience and lots of examples are the case, it will eventually bust down that wall and over take you at the worst possible time.