what to wear fem when not...

[Tracy - new dresser]

i want to dress all the time but for obviuos reasons cant. besides wearing panties, bras, stockings and hoes what else can i wear in male mode to get me through the day?

im sooo close to just wearing my flats out lol

[linda allen]

A necklace for one.

It depends on where you're going and what you are doing in male mode, but you can wear female jeans and jean shorts as long as they are not too "girly" and nobody will notice or care. Those are the only jeans and shorts I wear anymore unless I'm working on the car or in the yard. Don't get the really short shorts. I actually cut the bottoms off capris to make my girl shorts.

T shirts, turtle neck shirts and sweaters may work. Look at women in your area and notice what clothing items are not too "manly". Follow their lead.

[Cynthia Anne]

Painted toe nails work good! Clear polish on finger nails is a good one! Give it a try! Hugs!

[deebra]

A good, tight tuck under tight, sexy nylon panties will give you that feminine flat feeling down there and make you feel as much like a girl as you possibally can. Try it, you'll like it!!

[Aprilrain]

what are the "obvious" reasons why you can't dress how you wish?

[Tracy - new dresser]

lol mainly the living in a small town where most ppl know me and i think i would get beaten lol. i do wear toe polish but dont show it and always have clear on my nails. visible shaven legs and arms too :)

[Jennifer in CO]

you can wear anything you want. Its what I do everyday. Fem slacks, tops, shoes, etc...just keep to darker colors and no "frills". Many tops/blouses can be found that even tho they might have buttons on the wrong side will not be noticeable. If you work in an environment that lots of women are around (and they will surely notice what you have on - mainly because they probably have it in their closet) keep to button-less tops/pullovers if possible. Many slacks/jeans are indistinguishable from their male counterparts. Tennis shoes are pretty unisex anymore and there are many selections of womens loafers that look like mens "European" designs. Have fun with it!

Jenn

[Aprilrain]

lol mainly the living in a small town where most ppl know me and i think i would get beaten lol. i do wear toe polish but dont show it and always have clear on my nails. visible shaven legs and arms too :)


I wouldn't worry too much its much more acceptable to be gay now.........I'm not saying you're gay but that is what people will think

[cdtraveler]

I suspect you were asking about clothing items but in the make up catigory, I get away with a fleshtone conceler on the eyes and a light eye shadow. If you look close you can see the sparkle but most don't look that close. I also will use a hand lotion with a slight fem sent. Again not terribly noticable but something that makes me feel good. Also any undergarments that are seer enough can work too.

[kimdl93]

Women's jeans and slacks, and quite a few women's tops are fairly androgynous.

[TiffanyGreene]

I have worn sandals out in public nearly identical to the ones in the link, nobody has said a word about them.

http://m.rackroomshoes.com/product.asp?sku=210302

[RADER]

I wear Fem jeans, and they look like any man jeans. Also you could wear a corset or girdle;
And if anyone says anything, tell them you have a back problem, and your are wearing a back brace.
It worked for me for a Long time, and I still do once in a while.
Rader

[suchacutie]

Fem. jeans, fem. loafers and other "flats", various pieces of jewelry, mascara (brown), light foundation and powder, lip gloss your natural color (or clear), hair can be changed to a more fem style, tight jeans will require (and help to hold) a good tuck. Oh, and shape wear!

The funny thing is that if you walk like a guy, no one will put 2 and 2 together!

[Darline]

Pink in a punk or pop manner, at least in details like a pink studded belt or cellphone cover, are easy ones to get away with :) Be creative, be confident and noone will question it.

[Cheryl T]

Women's jeans/slacks/shorts are a start (although it's winter where you are so shorts might be a problem). There are styles of women's shoes that are androgynous as well as women's sneakers. Many tops are easily worn in both modes.
All this just depends on your comfort level and how far you want to push things.

[EjayeCD]

I wear womens tops, pants, shorts & shoes all the time. Just dont get too fem with the items.

[Chari]

Great ideas from previous posts, but consider some jewelry: ear studs (both ears) or small hoop earrings, tennis bracelet, ankle bracelet, shorter length necklaces, toe rings, and the new trend a cross-body purse. Whatever you wear, always be comfortable and confident in your "packaging"! Enjoy.

[Kate17]

I wear a necklace and magnetic wrist band that is slightly more woman but can go either way. I also love to wear a sexy cami with just the right amount of lace under my shirt. I let the top buttons open just so the lace peaks out. This all works great with the right girl jeans - they fit a little snug with some stretch and I feel gloriously fem.

[Contessa]

Please don't get caught just wearing flats and walking around out side. Now you can dress androgynous by wearing all the other stuff you named and try women's slacks and some type of top that looks andro. Or just any colored girls t shirt. Ladies slacks have no back pockets. Check your size and go to a thrift store and look up a few or a couple pair. You won't exactly have to stay with black try gray brown blue. Go look, look for girls collared shirts/tops. I will begin dressing this way at work. Life I'm loving it.


Tess

[dragdoll]

I have worn sandals out in public nearly identical to the ones in the link, nobody has said a word about them.

http://m.rackroomshoes.com/product.asp?sku=210302

These are cool. I have a pair very similar to those, along with about 30 other pairs of womens/unisex flip flops and flat sandals that can be worn in non-fem mode.


Choker necklaces, stud or small hoop earrings, and other body jewelry is always a plus.

As far as womens jeans, try Levi's 524 if you like skinny fit jeans. Or if you like bootcut jeans, Gap makes a nice pair with plain pockets and not too much of a flair at the bottom. Another good androgynous women's brand is Seven.
But if you don't like shopping in the women's section there are plenty of brands of men's jeans that are very andro and fit like girl jeans (i.e. Levi's 510/511, Bullhead "Drakes", Vans "Slimbo" or "Skinnymo", Social Collision, Lip Service, Quiksilver "quikjeans").

Other unisex stuff I enjoy: shoes - Converse all-star low-tops, black 'goth' style lace-up boots, slides/soccer sandals, backless sneakers, or sneakers with really thick soles. Shirts - Helix brand, Sonoma brand, or any 'vintage fit' t-shirt brand, tight tanktops, or just cut the sleeves off of old tight-fitting tees. Striped or colored knee-high socks, or toe-socks. Footless tights underneath ripped jeans. Studded belts/bracelets. Colored lip balm, mascara, light foundation/concealer.

[jamie-upstate]

jean, pants, and shorts off the ladies rack work for me

[Tess]

Lots of good suggestions depending on how far you want to go. While I'm limited on what I can wear externally, I underdress, have glossy toe nails, shaved pits and partially shaved legs, wear women's deodorant and a little perfume most days.

[Shulove]

lol mainly the living in a small town where most ppl know me and i think i would get beaten lol. i do wear toe polish but dont show it and always have clear on my nails. visible shaven legs and arms too :)

Well, I've also begun to shave my arms... My legs now have been done. I happen to work with my sister in law, let me tell you THAT first day was a joy! Lol, not at all!! I was waiting for her to say something rude, it's what she does. Honestly I don't think she even noticed :) going on a week now and not one rude word. If you live in a small town people should know you, if wanting to be more feminine is what you want, then go for it :) if your not gay then why should anyone care? If you are, and they DO care, well, maybe they find you sexy, even if they can't say it.. Poor poor sad people, be the hot little mamma you know you are :) screw them and their narrow minds of discontent! My ONLY regret is I did not start younger, I know I would have soooo pretty by now ;) go for it girl! Don't let anyone hold you back! You will win :)

Hillary

[VickyMI]

All the above are great suggestions. I do them all maybe not all at once.

[NathalieX66]

You could get your ears pierced. Nearly all women have pierced ears, and many guys these days too.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Tracy, Painted nails and pierced ears.

[Kelly Blaine]

Painted toe nails work good! Clear polish on finger nails is a good one! Give it a try! Hugs!

I do agree with Cynthia.

[dragdoll]

A lot of people have mentioned shaving or waxing their arms. I have tried both and didn't really like the results so I tried an alternative that gave me the best results and I have been doing this for about 8 years now. What I do is trim my arm hair down with hair clippers to 1/4 of any inch maybe a little shorter then bleach it with a creme bleaching kit I get from the drugstore. Do it once every 1 to 2 weeks and never had a problem and the grow-back is barely noticeable. If the idea completely removing your arm hair doesn't sit well with you, try this method.

[Rachel Morley]

lol mainly the living in a small town where most ppl know me and i think i would get beaten lol.


I wouldn't worry too much its much more acceptable to be gay now.........I'm not saying you're gay, but that is what people will think

I agree just so long as being thought of as gay is ok in your small town and you don't get beat up for that! I dress pretty girly in my boy mode and I'm sure people think I'm gay, which is totally fine by me ... just so long as no homophobe wants to give me a hard time about it. I agree with the others, both ears pierced, girly necklace, bangles, nails painted, girls canvas shoes (Keds) girls skinny jeans, fitted tees ... all that good stuff ... plus under-dressing too. Oh .. and perfume too! :)

[dragdoll]

I used to make my own iron-on tshirts with somewhat obvious girly references to them. The shirts were always small/tight fitting and would have girl band or gender-bending band logos on them, logos of womens clothing brands (i.e. "Pleaser", a popular company that sells stripper heels) or I would just create my own logos. Kind of a fun little art project.

[joan47]

Don't forget to thin and shape the eyebrows, slowly...

[Tracy - new dresser]

omg im getting excited now :) so much good stuff i would of nvr thought of! going shopping with my gf on weekend and will ask for more info about piercing ears lol

thanks girls! keep em coming!

[Dawn cd]

I wear flats now and then, as well as jewelry, jeans or shorts, androgynous tops, makeup, scent, a shoulder bag, and all sorts of things underneath.

[dragdoll]

I was on Kohls website earlier and found some really cool flat sandals that aren't too girly looking. Definitely going to be buying a pair or more...

http://www.kohls.com/upgrade/webstore/product_page.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=8455248927561 27&crosssell=true

http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/zbrandskiosk/shoesforwomen/naturalsole_bynaturalizer/PRD~1002586/NaturalSoul+by+naturalizer+Caleb+Sandals.jsp

http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/juniors/complete_thelook/shoes/sandals/flats/PRD~1098452/Sun+Luks+by+MUK+LUKS+Gladiator+Sandals.jsp

http://www.kohls.com/upgrade/webstore/product_page.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=8455248929488 77&crosssell=true

http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/juniors/complete_thelook/shoes/sandals/flats/PRD~645703/Sacred+Heart+Manja+Thong+Sandals.jsp


and of course these:

http://www.kohls.com/upgrade/webstore/product_page.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=8455248927029 22&crosssell=true

[crazybiker]

Look. Chances of you being beaten are very slim.
As for what to wear. Don't worry too much about the girls. Generally they keep quiet or they like the style and compliment.
Secondly if your going to just do flats. Make sure it kinda works. I buy my jeans a tad longer do when I wear my work boots, they still look casual. Having said that, they cover up a good portion of the top of your foot so they're not so 'flat' obvious.
Secondly. Things are in style (here in vancouver BC anyways). Capris for guys are in here, so i got chic ones from lululemon. I from time to time wear the chic lululemon pants with flats out cause that works, but flip flops are a bit more normal depending on the place. I have been meaning to get out loads but can't cause of a long story so my girlyness has been coming out in other ways such as listed above.

[Delila]

I saw a couple of posts mentioning ear piercing what do you do in a place where earrings are forbidden for men? I am honestly curious for ideas as my workplace only allows a single pair of earrings for women and none for men. sorry if this is a threadjack.

[dragdoll]

I saw a couple of posts mentioning ear piercing what do you do in a place where earrings are forbidden for men? I am honestly curious for ideas as my workplace only allows a single pair of earrings for women and none for men. sorry if this is a threadjack.

magnetic earrings or clip-ons. if you can't find them at your local store, they're all over ebay.

[Delila]

magnetic earrings or clip-ons. if you can't find them at your local store, they're all over ebay.
A wise idea but I have my left ear pierced an I really want to do the right. Thinking of hitting up HR for a pass they owe me at least one. How many have their naval pierced? It is something I have seriously considered.

[dragdoll]

A wise idea but I have my left ear pierced an I really want to do the right. Thinking of hitting up HR for a pass they owe me at least one. How many have their naval pierced? It is something I have seriously considered.

Who's your boss? Hitler? Get your other ear pierced and sue them for discrimination if they try to fire you over it.

[Vickie_CDTV]

If you could get fired for wearing earrings at work, don't... seriously, don't. Jobs are hard to find and survival is hard nowadays. If you want to get the other ear pierced, go to a piercing place and see if you can get a clear stud you can keep in so they don't close up while they heal (someone mentioned this as an option somewhere.) If you can't get the other pierced, try clip-ons when en femme, or around-the-ear pierced earring adapters instead.

[Mollyanne]

You could pierce your ears and wear diamond studs, everyone is doing it these days!!!!!! BTW, be careful when buying diamonds it can get quite expensive and addictive!!!!!

Molly

[Brenn]

As others have said, wear what you want. I have worn women's jeans, tees and shorts for over a decade on a regular basis. As for shoes, I wore women's Keds and loafers until I decided that I could get away with wearing flats and mary-janes. Wear them all the time now.

[flatlander_48]

Look. Chances of you being beaten are very slim.

Statistically that's true, but it only takes once...

[flatlander_48]

A number of the sportswear companies have both men's and women's clothing lines. Columbia Sportswear, for example, is a world-wide brand and the women's line mirrors the men's line very closely. Many Shirts and shorts are styled very similarly to the men's versions, except with different fits and colors. I am a medium sized male, so that usually translates to large (or sometimes extra large) in women's sizes. I bought a pair of these in black recently:

http://www.columbia.com/Women%E2%80%99s-Cross-On-Over%E2%84%A2-Cargo-Short/AL4574,default,pd.html

They are not as long as most shorts, but it works for me. I doubt if I would wear anything shorter. Shorts that are at your knees or longer always seemed to defeat the purpose as far as I'm concerned. Anyway, if you wear your shirt or t-shirt outside with these shorts, it isn't obvious that it doesn't have back pockets.

[Jocee]

I wear women's clothing almost exclusively when I've got the day off. Flats and Loafers, women's jeans and shorts, t-shirts and button downs, and the occasional tunic. Yesterday I went to the beach and worn a bikini bottom. No one batted an eyelash.

Joanna

[linda allen]

A lot of people have mentioned shaving or waxing their arms. I have tried both and didn't really like the results so I tried an alternative that gave me the best results and I have been doing this for about 8 years now. What I do is trim my arm hair down with hair clippers to 1/4 of any inch maybe a little shorter then bleach it with a creme bleaching kit I get from the drugstore. Do it once every 1 to 2 weeks and never had a problem and the grow-back is barely noticeable. If the idea completely removing your arm hair doesn't sit well with you, try this method.

I do that. Not the bleaching (yet) but the trimming. "Men's grooming trimmers" have guides for 3/4", 1/2", 1/4", etc. It's pretty easy.

[linda allen]

Who's your boss? Hitler? Get your other ear pierced and sue them for discrimination if they try to fire you over it.

Hitler is dead.

Seriously, while dress may be "protected" in some companies or agencies, it is not in others. And even if you can't be fired for the way you dress, you can be made miserable.

For most of us, next to our families, our jobs are most important because without the job, we can't take care of our family. If you're single and don't care about the job or any future prospect where they might ask for references, go for it, wear any thing you want and act any way you want.

For the rest of us, give this serious thought before you act.

[Rachel M]

Undetected female items while in male mode...I have worn tinted moisterizer and nude or sheer lipstick oppose to lip balm. Find a shade of lipstick that matches your natural lip color. Just be careful when eating around friends and family, you will leave lip print on cups/glasses/napkins. Besides underdressing, womens jeans, slack, t-shirts, and tennis shoes.
Rachel

[Amanda22]

You could get your ears pierced. Nearly all women have pierced ears, and many guys these days too.

That's a great suggestion. I had both of mine pierced 6 weeks ago and have worn little silver studs all of that time. They look really feminine and I really enjoy having that show 100% of the time. No one cares a bit!

[sfwarbonnet]

I have found that the following women’s clothes are suitable in "boy mode".

!) Pants: Women’s pull on pants are much easier to put on than men’s belted pants. They do not need a fake fly, as the absence of it is usually not apparent, but I prefer non-figured and solid color, non-pastel pants so they are not readily identified as women’s clothing.

2) Panties: Underwear with a fly is unnecessary with pull on pants. Although there are no-fly briefs in the men’s department, women’s full-cut briefs work just as well, and are often cheaper.

3) Slips: Shirttails tend to readily pull out of pull on pants. This can expose panty and pantyhose tops and a bare back is usually uncomfortable when seated. A “solution” is to wear a full slip that is short enough to be worn with slacks. A slip with adjustable straps, lace trim, and a bodice is even OK as it is covered and feminine features aren’t apparent. Also slips are usually made of material that makes it easier to pull on pants.

4) Bra: This is generally not considered an adrogynous item, but it can be useful to keep non-adjustable straps on a slip from falling off the shoulders

5) Pantyhose: An MD suggested that I wear support pantyhose to avoid the indentation in my lower legs that mid-calf or knee-high socks make. Pantyhose do not require anything that is not also needed with pull on pants. Opaque ones are best, as they aren't readily identified as women's hosiery, but that isn't necessary and non-opaque pantyhose are OK and are more available.

6) Purse: Keeping a wallet, comb, notepad, phone, and keys in pants pockets is awkward as it is hard to extract them when seated, and pockets in women’s pull on pants are often not very deep anyway. My “solution” is to use a small shoulder purse.

[dragdoll]

Hitler is dead.

Seriously, while dress may be "protected" in some companies or agencies, it is not in others. And even if you can't be fired for the way you dress, you can be made miserable.

For most of us, next to our families, our jobs are most important because without the job, we can't take care of our family. If you're single and don't care about the job or any future prospect where they might ask for references, go for it, wear any thing you want and act any way you want.

For the rest of us, give this serious thought before you act.

Relax. I was obviously kidding when I posted that.

As for references, I'm pretty sure former employers are pretty limited (by law) to what kind of information that they give out to future employers if they are calling to verify your past employment. They can't say "Yeah we fired him because he had his ears pierced."

[Jessicafreed]

I wear women's dress slacks, jeans and pant suits when I go out. I also wear flats most of the time. They are really cute and feminine and when I get comments, I tell people they match my outfit better and and are very comfortable to wear. When I get bold sometimes I wear high heeled pumps or strappy sandals, but not too often. I keep my toenails painted 24/7 and only wear panties now. I even wear a matching bra most days. Good luck with you dressing.

Jessica

[bobbie c]

great suggestions...I'm in a tough male business and I do the lite brow shaping,I am all shaved,pierced ears,(but don't wear at work),bracelets that can be either way,very lite mascara,lite foundation ..a bronzer ,but very lite and I underdress....never had a comment and with my button down shirts and ties, i am considered quite male and well groomed...but i do it for me,cause i feel good with it.outside...small hoops,girl jeans..cause karen says so...and converse type shoes...girly t shirts cause they fit better(i'm 160lbs)...so bottom line do what you like and frankly most people don't give a crap....enjoy!!

[TNRobin]

I have an entirely hairless body, arms, legs and all, earrings (studs) in each ear and wear women's jeans and shoes and in my business it's a pretty bad idea to be labeled as gay or a CD. I'm NOT bringing up guns as an issue, but I am a gunsmith and build them for a living in my own business and work closely with people in my former profession, Army Special Forces, and the ONLY comments that I've received at all were a few jokes about "getting shot in the ear with a BB." I don't go too far though. Mary Janes, which were mentioned previously would be too far, as would long hair, though the long hair is for safely reasons since I work with milling machines and metal lathes and I'd hate to get my hair caught in something that may be spinning at speeds up to 5400 RPMs.

If I'm safe and never outed in that kind of environment then your probably safe in pretty much any environment...well, maybe not a skinhead white supremecist convention! LOL