Passing????

[Debra Russell]

I read a column in the paper this morning (The Edge ) in the "Oregonion" a tribute to Phyliss Diller on her 95th birthday and after perusing the photo gallery and reading so much about all our concerns on weather we "pass" or not I thought it might apply to most of us as we look in the mirror - take zillions of photos (who me?) just to get the right one! This is one of her famous one-lineres --"My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me!" :devil:

Well if the shoe fits wear it --- at least no matter what I do my pictures all look like me -- only prettier:heehee: and I think that's the best I can do

What about all you picture takers ? I think the best we all can do is "just look like me" (your self - only prettier) Who do you see in your pics - do they do you justice?...............Debra

[Marleena]

Ahh..the hot topic of the week!:)

Debra I'm a lousy photographer. I don't feel like I'm in any competition when posting pictures here so sometimes I don't bother with fingernails, jewellery, padding, whatever. When I go out I'm anal about looking right though.

All in all I'm fine with the way I look, it is what it is. I would love to have a professional makeover though.:)

[kimdl93]

As an infrequent pic taker I have to say that i have hated every picture I've taken, en drab or en femme. I don't know why, but I've always hated the way I look.

[Debra Russell]

Ah.. Marleena we all fit in the same catagory-- but when we take a photo who do we see (imagination.....) or what are we striving for in our dressing and all of our fuss ? I want to look like a perfect lady..ect it's not just about how we feel on the inside or we would just talk and not post pics--don't get me wrong the photo gallery is the first palce I go to -- I love it! I love posting pics and seeing others, but use your imagination ...who do you see looking back, any fantasy is acceptable -......................Debra

[StephanieJ]

Pictures for me look way better than reality. I take lots of pics and end up deleting about 90% of them.

[Marleena]

Ah.. Marleena we all fit in the same catagory-- but when we take a photo who do we see (imagination.....) or what are we striving for in our dressing and all of our fuss ? I want to look like a perfect lady..ect it's not just about how we feel on the inside or we would just talk and not post pics--don't get me wrong the photo gallery is the first palce I go to -- I love it! I love posting pics and seeing others, but use your imagination ...who do you see looking back, any fantasy is acceptable -......................Debra

Okay you asked for it.:)

Eyes are the windows to the soul. Each time I'm fully dressed I am drawn to my eyes. I peer in the mirror into them every time. My eyes are smiling. I see the woman that should have been.

I know it sounds strange.

[Wildaboutheels]

In Real Estate, it is very simple. Location, Location, Location.

It's equally simple in Photography. "You get quality through quantity".

Two other simple tips.

1] LIGHTING is everything. Do anything and everything you can to NOT use the camera flash as the main source of lighting!!!!!!!!!!!!

2] The subject must be "comfortable" with whoever is taking the pictures, even if it is yourself. Otherwise, it will be quite difficult to get some "good" pics.

My own pic is accurate IMO. Good enough.

[Debra Russell]

Yes!!!.............that's what I mean --I also see me--- in another demention as a woman and finally feel that I am just that close, just don't look too long or too hard as the allusion deminishes--but alas it's still me............Debra

[Tracii G]

I still see me in any pic I take and I'm fine with that.
Lighting is everything so true.

[Katie83]

I don't see my male self when i take pics of Katie. I see Katie in my photos, its who i'd be if i'd been born a girl. I love photos of Katie, but hate photos of my male self.
Katie

[RenneB]

As one of the girls on this site said some time ago, the only thing I need to pass is the front door. The hard part is that most of us spend 90% of our time on looks and not the attitude. Yes I know, it took me quite some time to get out and about, but as I look at me in the mirror, I just say, well I did the best that I could with what I have and the world will just have to live with it... and off I go.

Yes I too take a bazillion pics and the only ones that get posted are the 1 out of 100 that are the right light with the right outfit with the right.... I still say that I pass better than about 80% of the walmartians.... LOL...

Renne.....

[Alice B]

That is a good quote. I'll do a photo session, take a ton of shots and select a few (very few) that I like. Then down the road I'll look at them again and think "why did I select that shot". As Popeye said. "I yam what I yam".

[Antoinette]

I stopped caring whether I "passed" or not. I learned that its impossible to pass 100% no matter what. So I just continue to do what I do regardless of what people say. I still have fun taking pictures but I don't do It to prove that I pass. If there's anything I passed though is gaining the courage to venture outside and interact with people as a woman, hah! Mission accomplished! \(^o^)/

[Kate Simmons]

You tell me Hon. Most of the pics I use for my avatar(not Hayley) were done in ambient lighting with a cheap mini digi-cam. There is no photo shop either just raw pics. I had a ton of them that didn't work though, so never used 'em. Works for me.:heehee::)

[KellyJameson]

In my opinion you "pass" easily in your photo Debra.

Our bodies just as our faces communicate emotion and emotion comes from the blending of two deeper energies that both men and women share in different proportions and every moment of life we express this energy.

This energy that we are born with creates the foundation that emotion is born from and rests on.

This is not conscious and exists independant of will.

Not expressing this feminine energy that is a state of "being" is in my opinion what makes "passing" difficult for some, not how they look on the outside so a person
looks like a woman but you experience a man when you are around them.

To me your picture expresses feminine energy. It is possible to capture in a picture moments of this energy being expressed but very difficult to seamlessly live this energy if it is not natural to them and herein lies the problem.

No matter how I look on the outside I will always be "mannish" in my energy which I have no intention of giving up (assuming I could) so I will never "pass".

This energy probably comes through clearly in how I use words.

To completely hold feminine energy is not my natural state of being.

I think to a certain degree a person can cultivate this energy but only if you understand it on a deep level otherwise behavior becomes a parody of ones interpretation of the feminine.

To pass you must on some level become a woman but you cannot become what you are not already, it is a paradox.

The feminine and the masculine live in the subconscious and it is difficult for the conscious to mimic the subconscious but if the feminine is already there than it is
a matter of bringing it out into the open by letting go of the conscious.

"Passing" is born out of the subconscious in my opinion.

[Kate Simmons]

Kelly is correct but those of us who regularly express this feminine energy don't give it a second thought as it is second nature. It's not "rocket science" or "magic" however. This energy comes from our heart and spirit or basically from the essence of our being and we just sort of "know" when we have it and express it. :battingeyelashes::)

[Teri Ray]

I have raised my photograph batting average so to speak. I would guess I get 1 photo I deem acceptable out of every 25. The ones I keep are the ones that I feel have an angle that present a feminine look. Like others here have stated the ones I toss are deemed not acceptable prolly cause they do tend to look too much like me only not as pretty as the imagine I have in my mind.

I need a camera that makes me 4" shorter 50 pounds lighter and only captures a picture of me when I am smiling. Have they invented this yet?

[Cheryl T]

I don't know if they do me justice or not, but they certainly help me to refine my appearance and find the "me" I know is there.
Of course since the lens adds 10 pounds that doesn't make me happy. I always feel I'm too heavy and yet my wife tells me I have a nice figure.

Mostly I just like to document the journey. If I had the photos from when I was 20 and first wore makeup and compared them to now I would probably burn them all. I looked horrible. Now I try to take a few shots each time I go out or if I get a new outfit just to have a record of it and be able to see the changes in me.

[Lynn Marie]

Actually my photos seem to be getting much better as I progress in the art. I used to get maybe 1 in 10 that were acceptable and now I'm getting maybe 1 in 3! I seem to be improving in my expressions, poses, hair, and makeup. Even I'm amazed!

Maybe I'm just getting used to my self, and am actually beginning to like homely girls. LOL Or maybe the pink fog has become so thick I can't see the ugly for the makeup. Either way I'm improving and that's always fun for me.

[Marleena]

You tell me Hon. Most of the pics I use for my avatar(not Hayley) were done in ambient lighting with a cheap mini digi-cam. There is no photo shop either just raw pics. I had a ton of them that didn't work though, so never used 'em. Works for me.:heehee::)

I feel the same as Kate, no photoshopping for me. I can't be bothered taking hundreds of pictures to get a good one either.

I sure hope the picture gallery is not some type of beauty contest because I don't want any part of it then. I'm not a contestant, thank you, leave that for the prettier, younger girls.:) Pictures should be about validation that we're happy with how we are progressing and to show people we are real. I rather spend my time interacting with people here than constantly posting pictures. Passing in pictures is not the same as trying to in the real world.

[Eryn]

I take pictures mostly as documentation, to remember what a particular outfit looked like or which outfit I wore to which event. I break all the rules, use flash, prop the camera up on tabletops, etc. Every once in a while I'll get a picture that really looks good, but I can't put my finger on exactly why. It just seems to come together.

Now, If I could put my finger on that I would be Andrea Klarin, Raya, or Shaun Alexander. Since I can't, I just swing a thousand times to make one home run.

[Rebecca Star]

The hard part is that most of us spend 90% of our time on looks and not the attitude.

One can only look as good as they are. Unfortunately some, myself included, no matter how much make-up etc...etc we use isn't going to hide the fact where en femme. I'd like to go out dressed but I choose not to based on the fact I don't pass and no amount of attitude is going to change that.

[Bizarre Suzanne]

Well, yes....my daily dress is standard male drab...even tho I love the femme side. I dress less often these days (pushing 80 now - dammit!). The mind is still so very willing tho the body sometimes protests (ouch!)...and it takes over an hour to dress properly...in the privacy of the home (I'm too shy to go out dressed up, nor will I pass in my chosen costume - fetish)...

Loved your photo, Lynn Marie!

Sighs....I so love all of you girls and your BEAUTIFUL photos...and wish i could look like you all!

[Marleena]

Well.

Let me just tell you something Marleena. Your avatar pic? LOVE IT!

Your... your stance...every time I see it it's like you're saying "YOU TALKIN' TO ME'? But...in a good way. Slight tilt of your head...commanding, yet NOT domineering...you hear what I'm saying?...Benevolent...NOT ambivalent...NOT condescending...commanding..it's like you're saying...

"LOOK, guys, We're all in this together...SO GET USED TO IT!"

And I love your spirit and desperate-yet-calm overtakes at times, and calm, loving non-judgemental rationale at others.

Just my observation from afar...my sagacious analysis? No. Just my visceral emotional reaction...to a kindred spirit...at least to me.

Wow, Purple I think you just gave me one of the nicest compliments since I've been here, along with Arlene's constant support.

Now that I look at the avatar I see what you mean. I look like a mother trying to get her kids to clean up their room.:heehee:

When I'm here I'm 100% girl. I joined because I liked what the site had to offer and I had made peace with being TG. I do want the MTF's to feel good about themselves, this TG stuff is a struggle.

It has never been about me, although if I make one person happy a day I feel good. I hate big egos, I hope I don't come across that way because I put everybody else first. We are all in this together and maybe that's what my avatar is saying: Get with the program!

I'll need a dictionary to look up a couple of your words, but thanks so much.:hugs:

[Alice Torn]

Debrah, You look fabulous! You look a lot like a lady i dated decades ago. I see almost all the avatars on here, as very nice. I use thrift store used 35mm cameras, with timers. Usually i pay no more than $5 a camera, or else i use my webcam. I feel that my photo taking has improved greatly, about half are good to me. We are also our biggest own critics.