Once again, I get the same exact question from the only one to whom I have come out

[GinaMarie]

This morning, I went on a walk with my mom. During the walk, she asks about my gender issues for the first time in a month. Yeah, we kept the conversation soft so that none of my neighbors would overhear my crossdressing discussion. Having the courage to shave my beard yesterday for the first time in a year, and with the fact that I shave my legs, I brought up to her that I upped the ante--or increased the risk of being caught. Then I'm asked the same exact question three months ago about my sexuality. I updated my answer and told her I'm not gay, like I said to her to begin with, and in a way, I do want to be a woman. But it leans more on just wanting to look like one. At that point, I asked what would happen if she were aware of my issues when I was younger. Obviously, things would be much harder today; add to that the passing of my dad last year.

As an update from my previous thread, I am not in that self-threatening state like I was before. However, I am in the process of getting an appointment to see a psychologist regarding my gender issues and my handling of my dad's passing 16 months later. In Hawaii, it takes much longer to squeeze a spot to see one nowadays.

It's just as hard as gaining acceptance from others. Besides, there's nothing stated that crossdressing is against the law. What was that two-word term for what's acceptable and not acceptable in society, "social conventions"? (Borrowed from What is wrong with crossdressing? (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?177790-What-is-wrong-with-crossdressing))

Surely, things will get better and in the end, it's my choice and there's the fallout to expect that will take place eventually-- the day I am caught or decide to let my secret be revealed to the rest of the family. At the moment, it's a step forward for me, hoping to one day 100% come to terms with myself, and maybe there will be more tolerance and less hostility around me. My brother & his GF better learn not to be so closed minded against our kind. At the end of the day, it's important not to allow issues like these to cloud your judgment; it happened to me less than a month ago.

[Kate Simmons]

A lot of fear of unknown things is felt by folks who are non accepting. You can do much to allay those fears by bring the type of person everyone feels comfortable to be around Hon.:)

[GinaMarie]

A lot of fear of unknown things is felt by folks who are non accepting. You can do much to allay those fears by bring the type of person everyone feels comfortable to be around Hon.:)

It's the exact opposite. The "type of person everyone feels comfortable to be around"? How would I look at it? I have no girlfriend or whatever kind of SO; it's only me, my mom, and my older brother, as well as his GF. I don't know anyone else they'd be "comfortable to be around," at least those I can come up with from the top of my mind.

[Cynthia Anne]

I hear you and I feel for for you Gina Marie! I understand what you are going through because I went through it too! All you can do is let them knoww that you are the same person you have always been! Those who can not and will not accept you need to let them be! Be yourself and accept yourself and then you will find the happiness you justly deserve! Wishing happiness for you! Hugs!

[GinaMarie]

I said it before, and a thousand times, it's a matter of timing when to come out and having a gameplan for how to do so without a severe fallout from the immediate household. And you know, I may feel happier when I find myself in an LTR with somebody that is accepting. Still, I am not obligated to tell anybody; using the phrase "not at liberty" will be an easy giveaway. There will be nothing to help me stand up for myself even if I come up with the right words to say.

Hold on, the ultimate giveaway, should I decide to do so, is if I go for Halloween. Don't let the guys try to chase me, especially if I am passable during that time. It's another year away though, yet there is the possibility of going this year if and only if I can come up with the cash to buy an epilator and all that stuff involved with CDing without breaking the bank in making myself passable.

Happiness and coming to terms about the secret I've hidden for years should bring peace to my head, so I'm not having unrealistic thoughts. Better not let the naysayers get to me if they question me about my secrets. I might just tell them, "Why do you care that guys where women's clothing in public? For the love of God, it is not against the law!" Is that too rude to the questioner? If so, should I rephrase it so it's not as mean as it sounds?