Hello world I just came out...help.

[Liara]

My name is Liara and I'm transgendered. For the first time in 32 years, I was finally able to admit that not only to myself but to my older sister. I just came out to her and the world finally after suppressing this for over 16 years. I feel free..finally free

I don't want to bore the group with the same old story that I know everyone has heard and have experience themselves but needless to say this was a long time coming I guess. What caused it was a major life change back in April and I finally decided at 32 I need to finally be me because living a lie is way harder. It took 16 plus years since my last therapy session to realize that but better late than never right?

I just want to thank anyone who is still reading at this point and if anyone in the LA area can recommend a therapist {preferably free or cheap}I would really appreciate it. It seems you ladies know of someone in the SF Bay area. :)

Thank you in advance and I plan on sharing more and getting to know everyone soon I hope.

~Liara

[Bree-asaurus]

Your post is one of the shorter coming out stories lol!

I can't offer any insight into the LA area but I was born there! YAY LA! (umm... I actually kinda hate LA lol...) But just wanted to say welcome aboard :D

[Liara]

Thank you Bree! After 16 years of internet research, talking to other girls, cross dressing, losing a fiance'...blah, blah, blah I felt shorter was better. Also, if i didn't just get it out there and ask for help, I was nervous people wouldn't read that far down and offer it.

Also, I kinda hate LA too. I moved here 7 years ago from Maryland in order to get some sunshine and was looking to escape my "body" issues. I thought I could forget about being me in California...so glad I was wrong. :)

[Elizabeth]

Hi Liara,

What a great breakthrough. I remember the exhilaration I felt when it was finally out and everyone knew the truth about me, finally. I am glad to see you have not waited until you were 40, like many of us. That makes me so happy for you. There are still ups and downs to come, but remember, it's nothing compared to the downer of no one ever knowing Liara. My heart leaps with joy for you.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Rianna Humble]

My name is Liara and I'm transgendered. For the first time in 32 years, I was finally able to admit that not only to myself but to my older sister. I just came out to her and the world finally after suppressing this for over 16 years. I feel free..finally free

Isn't that a great feeling! :hugs:

Sorry, I can't help with LA area therapists - the nearest I've ever come to that area was a week spent in a field just outside Philadelphia roughly 36 years ago :eek:

I'm looking forward to reading more about you, and please don't forget we are not only here for the good bits.

[Hope]

Congratulations, and welcome to the sorority.

That is a good feeling isn't it? Being out for the first time ever. Sort of like being inside a closed in stuffy room that is too hot and then finally opening the door and feeling the cool refreshing tingle of night air... you can't see where it came from, but it is full of possibilities. Thanks for reminding me.

[Jorja]

Congratulations Liara! Take it one day at a time and you will be ok.

[Liara]

Hi everyone and thank you so much for making me feel welcome. I do feel like I just came out of a stuffy room and into the cool night air..great analogy Hope!

Well I just called the LA LGBT center that has counseling and hormones services but the earliest they could see me is the 30th of July and than there is a 15 week waiting list to start therapy. Even though I waited 16 plus years to start my journey...not sure if I can wait an additional 17 weeks.

What do you ladies think?

[Bree-asaurus]

That is kind of annoying... I would try finding other resources near you. Of course, they might be more expensive...

There is something to be said for patience, but 17 weeks may be too long... maybe not. If you're in crisis mode, or having major problems, it might be a good idea to see if you can find a therapist elsewhere.

There are other things you can do though like find a local support group. I'm sure the LA LGBT center could point you in the right direction. Meeting people with similar struggles can definitely be a form of therapy. You may even make a few friends... and that would be a GREAT way to get some support and have people to talk to.

Are you looking for therapy to try and figure things out so you know where you need to go in life? Or are you already sure of what you want and just need to go through the motions to get a letter for HRT, and get the ball rolling on transition?

[Liara]

That is kind of annoying... I would try finding other resources near you. Of course, they might be more expensive...

There is something to be said for patience, but 17 weeks may be too long... maybe not. If you're in crisis mode, or having major problems, it might be a good idea to see if you can find a therapist elsewhere.

There are other things you can do though like find a local support group. I'm sure the LA LGBT center could point you in the right direction. Meeting people with similar struggles can definitely be a form of therapy. You may even make a few friends... and that would be a GREAT way to get some support and have people to talk to.

Are you looking for therapy to try and figure things out so you know where you need to go in life? Or are you already sure of what you want and just need to go through the motions to get a letter for HRT, and get the ball rolling on transition?

Bree all very good questions! The answer to your question is I'm looking for a therapist in order to go through the motions to get my letter for HRT. To put this in perspective, I guess I better start from the beginning...(que back story music of your choice)

I basically came out when I was 16 when my older sister caught me wearing her things and told my mother. My mom asked if I was gay, I said no but told her the truth that I wish I was a girl. Wearing her stuff just made me feel normal and not how I 100% of the time. My mom is also a clinical psychologist so she took me straight away (after 6 months of talking and me pretending like it didn't happen) to a therapist. I freaked out the second she started talking about HRT and how it will effect my life...so I ran out of therapy. Between now and than, I only had two major girlfriends, the first supported me at 20 to go through with HRT but I freaked out and got scared so I dumped her (big mistake in life but ce' la vie) and another who dumped me the second she found out. That was 5 years ago and since than I have been trying to "hide" or "closet" myself with work and it has made me even unhappier. This past October, my mother came to visit me and she could still see the pain and anguish in my face and begged me to go back to therapy and deal with this once and for all. So of course as per usual, I didn't go (second big mistake). Finally, this past April I lost my job that I have been "hiding in" working really hard at. It was a life crusher and I'm still sad about it. My mom told me though that sometimes when you hit your lowest moment is when you can finally make great change and learn. So yesterday for no particular reason what so ever, I said enough of this I'm going to finally be me so I told my sister and my mother. They are super supportive and I can not be happier...no turning back for me this time.

So yeah I would love to get on HRT as soon as possible but doing it the right way. I'm in the process of a job hunt but therapy and letter as soon as possible. The center might have to be the option but I just found a therapist here in LA (Casey Weitzman) and I'm seeing her next week! So excited!!! So my next question would be, how soon do you think I can get the letter and lastly...what do I do once I get the letter? I can't seem to find information on that and I'm sure she will tell me next week but I'm so want to know. Lastly, regardless how long it takes me to get on HRT (god please be less than a month) I'm going to start electrolysis in August.

Wow that was a lot. :)

[kimdl93]

Congratulations on coming out to your sister. I can't help you with therapists, but keep watching the thread - I'm sure someone will have a recommendation. Best of luck in your new life!

[Bree-asaurus]

So yeah I would love to get on HRT as soon as possible but doing it the right way. I'm in the process of a job hunt but therapy and letter as soon as possible. The center might have to be the option but I just found a therapist here in LA (Casey Weitzman) and I'm seeing her next week! So excited!!! So my next question would be, how soon do you think I can get the letter and lastly...what do I do once I get the letter? I can't seem to find information on that and I'm sure she will tell me next week but I'm so want to know. Lastly, regardless how long it takes me to get on HRT (god please be less than a month) I'm going to start electrolysis in August.)

Electrolysis will take a long time, so yes, start as soon as you can!

No one can really tell you how long it will take to get a letter for HRT. It could be a couple weeks, it could be a few months. It all depends on where the therapist sees you're at and the therapist's own ideas of when it's okay for you to start. So, just go in there and be honest and whatever happens happens. Don't try to tell the therapist what you think she wants to hear, that will likely backfire. If she catches you in one lie, she may assume there are others.

But good luck to you! I'm glad you are seeing someone next week! That's MUCH better than 17 weeks lol!

[KateConnors]

Greetings to another early 30s SoCal girl!

I'm only here since Jan so I'm still finding my feet in the area but I can tell you that I highly recommend the LA Gender Center which is close to you in west Hollywood. I see Maureen there and I think she's one of the better therapists I've seen.

Also on the electrolysis front, I see Judee at descanso electrolysis who is fabulous and I'm very happy putting my face in her hands. Might be a little far for you ( La Crescenta-Montrose which is near where I am).

Anyway congratulations on coming out and hopefully we'll hear more from you in the future.

[Liara]

Hi Kate nice to meet you as well! I'm so happy to hear you live in LA ad well...it would be so nice to have a friend here who can help me navigate these waters. Thank you for the LA Gender Center tip, I was planning on calling them tomorrow but I am nervous. More nervous that it will be like 15 weeks or so until I can start them. Would love to discuss electrolysis with you and other stuff obviously! :)