Other Considerations

[Dana3]

The actual act of wearing women's anything aised?

I'm a little jealous of the way women make friends, become friends, and bond with other women. The way they socalize among themselves, freely lend themselves to such bonding ~ friendship. And although I may have a skewed perception of such ~ it seems to me basically because they're GG's.

It seems to me that men don't so much have friends ~ as they have buddies. That is to say ~ fishing buddies, hunting buddies, golfing buddies, none of which are inter-changeable.

The way women hug and greet one another ~ without having their sexual orientation suspect ~ let alone questioned. The way they can chat and go on forever.

Men are limited in thier interests, the topics of discussions, the expressions, their opinions.

As an individual I don't understand little comprehend why I should be limited in my expression, my experiences, my life ~ when the possibilities are limitless?

[suzy1]

Wow! You really touched a nerve here girl.
I know exactly what you meen Dana. I wonder if we feel this way because we as C.D.ers are wired up a little different to most men.

To just sit and talk with a group of other women one afternoon over coffee would be wonderful.

Hugs, SUZY

[Karren H]

Your so right.... in real life I have a couple male buddies.... but on Facebook I got into a closed groups of 50 women and its just amazing to bond with them and just be one of the girls... we send each other post cards and notes.... just so amazing to be part of their world....

[Dana3]

Well as men, many of us are strongly culturaly, socially, even via family conditioned against showing love and affection to our own brethern ~ our fathers, sons, uncles ~ which is bad enough but even when our beloved, cherished, and loved nieces, sisters, even daughters reach a certain age constraints of affection are placed upon us ~ when there's no motive other than showing family love is intended ~ less we be cast in the spot light of improperity?

GG don't have this problem.

[Dana3]

Your so right.... in real life I have a couple male buddies.... but on Facebook I got into a closed groups of 50 women and its just amazing to bond with them and just be one of the girls... we send each other post cards and notes.... just so amazing to be part of their world....

That appeals to me ~ to be validated as an individual, a person, a human being!

[Kate Simmons]

WE are not limited Hon. Once I freed myself of male "restraints", I became a regular kissing, hugging, "Chatty Cathy". Something changes when we take on femininity.:battingeyelashes::)

[Dana3]

Now if ONLY I can bring the positive of that ~ and all that holds to offer with my finance! Ahhhhhhh The possiblities are endless ~ limitless!

[Alice Torn]

It seems like the old "Boys are snakes, snails and puppy dog tails. Girls are sugar and speice and everything nice." Sadly, males are successful far more in suicide. Girls are over 60% of college grads, now. Men do the huge majority of shootings, mass murder, and family shootings. Men are the more depressed today. men tend to die yonger. Young me are required to sign up for the selective service. Girlls don't have to. I have also noticed how girls and women make friends so easily, and are rady to talk with almost anyone. I have had dates, where the woman hit it off with other guys, and basically left me in the dust. Women who are even half decent looking, get loads of attention, where most guys are left pretty much alone. One book called it the rainforest and the dry desert syndromes. A half decent woman can enter a bar, or restaurant, or store, or anywhere, and there is a rainforest of attention her way. A man, can enter the same place, and little or no attention his way. Women are at a GREAT advantage socially over men! Girls are encouraged to compete with boys at a young age now. I heard a radio commercial , that is for encouraging girls, to compete more with boys. Something like "get behind her.org,gov, or something. I guess they want to finish nailing the coffin shut on the American boys! There is no "war on women"> There has most certainly been an increasing "war on boys and men". I think one reason many of us dress, is to make up for the social and cultural deficits we men are facing. I was a gravedigger for several years, dug them by hand shovels, and picks. There were no female applicants for that job. I see society becoming more and more dominated, by hardened, strong women, and the men in steep decline, though of course, there are exceptions, and still a lot of humble, good women. But, iot is obvious, that socially, the males are being "left behind in the dust". It is like men are no longer needed, anymore. If some women hate guys dressing, and acting girly, maybe they should try to understand what it is like, to be a disenfranchised, unwanted, socially inept, and left in the social dust. I dress partly, to see what it is like to be, and look like the favored sex and gender, to experience a little joy, for a short time, amidst the male drabness, and grief.

[carhill2mn]

Recently, in the Media section of this forum I posted a brief review of a book that I recently read where I expressed some of the same sentiments that you have. Very few men have a circle of supportive "friends" like many women have. The "sisterhood" seems to be much stronger than the "brotherhood".

[kimdl93]

I don't know if agree with you on the characterization of male acquaintances. I have some very long term friendships with men and they arenpt specifically hunting, fishing, golfing etc buddies. Just friends that I've known a long long time. And among my friends and brothers, the topics of discussion are typically very wide ranging. No, we're not overtly affectionate as a rule. But that may be a reflection of the Scandinavian heritage common to many of my friends. You know the old story about the Norwegian who loved his wife so much...he almost told her!

I have had the pleasure of working with and socializing with groups of women. And what I really enjoyed was when one of my close friends gave me a female nickname - Marta - because she said I was just like one of the girls. My real name is Kim, but I guess thats not girly enough ;)

[Alice Torn]

Come to think of it, I have gone to a small 12 step group, that is usually all women there. I have admitted Cding in the group meeting, and am considering attending some day as Alice. Men do seem to be loners FAR more than women, but, there are always exceptions to the rules.

[Persephone]

I am genuinely blessed as I live in both worlds. I have solid male friends in "boy world" and awesome female friends in "girl world."

There is a saying, "A friend will help you move, a real friend will help you move a body." In both worlds I have the kind of friends who would help me move a body, and I would do the same for them.

Yes, it is an incredible feeling to walk into a room full of women, to have a dozen or so burst into smiles and say "Hi Barb!" (Persephone is not my real name) and to do all the cheek/air kisses with each other, finally to settle down and join the conversation simply as one of the girls.

We talk, we laugh, and sometimes we openly share more intimate details of our lives than men typically share with one another. We ceebrate each other's joys and cry for each other's losses.

One little tidbit from a party with 25 women last week. I was sitting somewhere around the middle of the table, but down at one end a group of women got into a discussion of bra color and a few simply pulled down their blouse to show the color they were wearing.

Can you even imagine a group of guys showing their underwear to each other?

But it is very different inside than it is looking in from the outside. Sometimes I think that men, including CD/TG's, see the grass as very green on the girl side. They go to a party and they see all of the women apparently smiling and talking to one another and think how easily the women all get along.

But trust me, the "politics" of girl world are way more subtle than those of boy world. Sometimes I wonder if cobras smile as they strike.

Watch the movie Mean Girls (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0377092/). Sure, it is just a movie, but there is an aweful lot of reality there too.

It isn't all fun and games.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Shananigans]

I don't think I would say much about social advantages of one group of people over another, especially if I was not living as part of the group for which I am offering my outsider's opinion. I would also take note that my views about the social advantages of women are from a Western viewpoint, and the world is pretty big.

I have very good male friends and I have very good female friends. I couldn't say which bond is closer...it isn't based on gender, but on actual friendship. I'd say that it's easier for me to relate to my female friends on a life experience level, because we have shared experiences.

It seems that many men want to tell me what my life experiences are, or how I should be feeling/living as a woman...so, the connections often aren't as strong. My female friends are good at listening, they don't assume a lot (but, they will read into everything), and we have gone through a lot of the same experiences. I cherish my male friends as much though, even if our life experiences are quite different at times. The guys in my life that take the time to know me are very valuable to me...and, I am blessed to have two male friends that I consider to be part of my "best friends." I stayed up with one of my male friends all night talking about crap a few weeks ago.

I also have seen my male friends with their other male friends and it is a really weird dynamic. I'd say they're probably just as close with their friends as I am mine, but they probably aren't going to cry over Ben & Jerry's over a boy or talk about baby names. And, they don't seem to have the *pour your heart out* times that I have with my friends...but, I've seen conversations get really heavy between a few good guy friends. If they haven't seen each other in a while, they give each other a big hug...I don't think they are worried about it being perceived as gay because it's very clear that they are both comfortable in their sexuality.

[Cynthia Anne]

Being cd/tg must be why I can sit and talk with women for hours in in and tolerate men for only a few minutes!:eek:

[KellyJameson]

I think you touched on an important element of the differences Dana between men and women, "the sexual orientation "

I think this plays a huge role in how men act with other men and they keep a certain distance physically and emotionally so doubt never enters into where they stand.

I touch to feel and express emotion and I have to force myself to hold back with men when I see they are uneasy with physical displays of affection.

This seems to be much less of a concern with women.

[Alice Torn]

Doesn't it sometimes help us feel a little jealous or envious of gg,s, as their world seems a lot more full of love and intamacy, and men's world tend to be more lonesome and stark, starved for love?

[Kate17]

Must be the water up here in Colorado. I hang around with some pretty straight hetero type guys and girls and everyone ( almost) hugs and several of the guys say I love you - in a platonic sense. sure, there are those you would not do that with but more and more, people are getting more open. ( both sexes) But the point is valid, men are conditioned to kep 'space" while the women are nurturing.

[sissystephanie]

Maybe it is my femininety showing, but I do have a great number of real friends, both male and female. And my male friends are not "fishing or hunting buddies!" They are just plain friends who would give me the shirt off their back if I needed it!! And since I am a widower, the female friends are.....................well I don't think I really need to go into detail!!

Noi question about men and women being different. But a lot of that difference is how you, as an individual, present yourself to them. I am very much a "people" person and always have been. So I can and do make friends very easily, regardless of whether they are female or male!

[UNDERDRESSER]

Well, I've gained several new friends that i can talk with at my "new" job. Talk about things that i wouldn't have got into a year ago. They're all girls.......huh.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Dana, I'm more comfortable with my wifes girl friends .

[Jacqueline Winona]

I'm with Perspeone, I have freidns who are men, freidns who are women, not really that big of a difference in my world. Some are closer than others, and both genders have their issues. :)