So, my wife had the talk(s) now what?

[xcdmargo]

My wife and I have had several really good discussions about my cross dressing. She is actually fine with it right now. I dress almost all the time at home and she knows I travel dressed very often. She's concerned and rightfully so where this lead to. She's happy to be on the ride right now but maybe not down the road depending on what direction I take this journey. I should mention that we are both 60 and have been married over 40 years and have a great relationship. I have as all of you have had these feelings all my life and have acted on them many times over the years. I only just told my wife about Margo
So, my question is does anyone have any suggestions on what I do next? Should I order her a couple of books to learn more about this? I think I should take some time and not rush into anything.
I do not I want to transition further but I don't have any desire to go all the way

Thank you for listening

margo

[RADER]

Hi Margo;
I my self is in the Medicare Boat as is my wife;
I dress at home only, as I would never pass in a million years. Just to big a frame
to be a dainty girl. LOL
My wife is OK with my dressing, as long as I do not embarrass her, nor would I want to.
I like you do not want to change anything, just enjoy dressing, and now that we are both retired,
we have time to do what I have always wanted to. Just have fun wearing girls clothes.
I say just take it slow, and see where it takes you, but remember her feelings also. After all
she is your best friend.
Rader

[daarleane]

I am in a similar situation except i haven't married to this lady for that long. We are both on are second marriage having lost our spouses to cancer in one case and a heart attack in the other. I don't wan't to physically transition, I just want to live like a lady and enjoy the softer finer things of life My wife knew about Daarlean before we married and supports me in the effort. The only place our relationship is going is to enjoy our senior years together.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Margo, What is it you really want to do??

[cdtraveler]

not QUITE AT SAME STAGE IN LIFE BUT CAME OUT TO MY SPOUSE RECENTLY SO CAN RELATE TO THE DISCUSSION AND PROCESS. WHAT I TELL MYSELF IS TAKE IT SLOW ANSWER ALL QUESTIONS AS HONESTLY AS POSSIBLE, RE ASSUME HER OFTEN THAT I STILL WANT HER AND CAN STILL BE HER "MAN" AND WANT TO BE THERE FORE HER IN THAT WAY WHILE AT THE SAME TIME ENJOYING MY FEM SIIDE. eXPECT THINGS TO BE OK AT ONE POINT THEN SEE SOME BACK TRACKING AND JUST GO WITH IT. DON'T GET DEFENSE AND TRY TO ALWAYS ASK ENOUGH QUESTIONS TO UNDERSTAND HER FEELINGS.

[Eryn]

I agree with Blue Orchid, first you have to figure out what you and she want to do!

One thing she might want to do if she hasn't already done it is join the forum and apply for membership in FAB. It's a great resource for spouses.

[Cynthia Anne]

If you have no desire to transition or go all the way you need to assure of that! Keep her feelings at the top at all times! Enjoy each other! Hugs!

[linda allen]

................. So, my question is does anyone have any suggestions on what I do next? Should I order her a couple of books to learn more about this? I think I should take some time and not rush into anything.
I do not I want to transition further but I don't have any desire to go all the way.
I would not buy her books and I would not show her this forum.

You can figure out what your wife wants to know about your feelings and plans, then just talk about it with her. If you can't figure it out, ask her.

Books or this forum may just confuse or scare her as she may begin to think that you want to go further than you plan to go based on what some other crossdressers and transexuals may write about.

Best of luck.

Oh, And tell her how much you appreciate and love her every day!

[xcdmargo]

I wish I knew, I wish I knew

[Mollyanne]

Hi Margo, Like you my wife and I are both in our sixties and pushin' 70 (ugly ugly ugly). I too have been dressing all my life and enjoy my "girl time" to the point of wanting to transition. But thinking about it, and I mean REALLY thinking about it I have come to the conclusion that I'm to old to do that now, I REALLY couldn't afford it monetarily, and the "fallout" from the entire family wouldn't be worth it. Soooooo, I guess I will continue with what makes me feel comfortable and that is encouraging my "alter ego" to become the woman who lives inside of me by "letting her out" without causing any kind of stir.

Molly

[Cheryl T]

Keep talking and also see if she would like to join the Forum.
My wife joined and enjoys the F.A.B. section (Female at Birth) which is for GG's only.

The most important thing is to keep communicating openly.

[xcdmargo]

Thanks so much ladies for your thoughts they are much appreciated. I've been thinking about nothing else but what direction I should go. I think for now I'll take it very slow. I'm looking forward to attending my first SCC event this September and am hoping to learn a lot about myself while I'm there.
My wife has expressed a desire to learn more about this side of me and I am trying to find a couple of books or articles this life we are all in

[Sandra]

Take it at her pace and have her join here so that she can join FAB and chat with other SO's.

[kimdl93]

It would be a terrible tragedy to damage what you describe as a great relationship. [U]So don't[/U Since you say you don't want to go all the way to transition, then I think you should make that very clear to your wife. Just take your sweet time figuring out where you're going and do your best to pick a direction that your wife can comfortably share.It seems to me that you are where you want to be.

[DanaR]

Joining a group can be a good thing, if you keep in mind that everyone is not the same. There might be similar problems and situations, you'll have to be careful to not let someone else's problem become yours. Don't have any secrets and discuss everything with your SO. Early on, one of my wife's biggest fears was, where is this going. Twenty years later, she knows exactly where it is going.