thank you for your help

[daphne_pynk]

I signed up to this forum a long time ago. but i haven't really engaged in it. I've been reading a lot of post that relate to my own situation and working through them with a new understanding thanks to all of you. thank you for your open honesty.

So now i'm going to try the new lesson learned and open up and talk, engage and let go of working so hard to control myself and hide my better half.

my story:

I've always been dressing up since i was just a kid. I'm a classic case of emotionally repressed dad, smother mother and being a sensitive kid. I feel like i've mentally divided myself into parts of myself that my dad would approve of and the rest (sensitive side) as feminine or not male. I guess you can only repress for so long and my mental pot boiled over in the form of dressing.

flash forward to about 2 years ago I told my wife about my secret and we spent about a year working it out (posts on the forum really helped me take a slow and answer questions responsibly) now she randomly buys me things and always giving advice.

So this past summer i went out for the first time (1:30 am walking around a few blocks...not sure if it counts) and am looking for support groups in my home area.

so ya thank you

I've attached some pics too, please feel free to critic as i still have a long way to go and i love tips and pointers. i think i've come to terms with not passing as a woman and am working on just being an attractive transgenered person. my...nose, chin, brows, body hair, giant hands/feet, shoulders, mannerisms are the give a ways. lol

so I'm out on the internet!

[Tracii G]

You so have the right attitude!! Be the best you can be and work hard to find YOUR look and then go with it.

[daphne_pynk]

thanks! i'm going for "dam girl you so fine"

[Soccer21]

Your pictures look great! Love the night out look and the other top with pants picture!

[Marleena]

Daphne you're off to a great start! I like your outfits too.:)

If you go out in public you need to get rid of hairy legs, arms, etc. if you don't want to be read quickly. Long sleeves, at least 3/4 will hide man arms. I have a farmers tan and big biceps so longer sleeves work for me. Your eyebrows need thinning, but you might be able to find workarounds. Try eyeliner top and bottom, I can't tell much more about what you used for makeup.

[daphne_pynk]

thanks for the tips! as soon as the winter comes i'm blasting the body hair away. my SO is buying the No!No! soon so i'll just use that. ( hear its good on faces too!) ya the brows.....can you believe i've thinned them out a lot already!?!?
The Makeup is whatver my SO gets me...Rimmel 25 hour lasting finish, define a lash mascara, buxum lip plumper/gloss, oil of olay eye concealer, pur marble powder pink blush. i tried to keep it simple at the time. i'm trying to cut down on looking like clown cake makeup model

[Marleena]

thanks for the tips! as soon as the winter comes i'm blasting the body hair away. my SO is buying the No!No! soon so i'll just use that. ( hear its good on faces too!) ya the brows.....can you believe i've thinned them out a lot already!?!?
The Makeup is whatver my SO gets me...Rimmel 25 hour lasting finish, define a lash mascara, buxum lip plumper/gloss, oil of olay eye concealer, pur marble powder pink blush. i tried to keep it simple at the time. i'm trying to cut down on looking like clown cake makeup model

I think you're doing great! Ask for eyeliner it really helped me out.:) BTW the NO NO is a nono from what I've read here.

[daphne_pynk]

i'll still give it a try ( i can't talk SO out of it anyway lol)

[Marleena]

i'll still give it a try ( i can't talk SO out of it anyway lol)

Yes, don't PO the wife cuz she's accepting and that's a big bonus. My wife helps me out a lot too.

[Tracii G]

Shave the face as close as you can get I have to shave mine twice to get all of it off.Still have to use concealer to hide the beard shadow.

[daphne_pynk]

from what i've read from other posters i'm super lucky and i know it. for us its a bit give and givr, i've helped her a lot in trying out new fashon trends and styles. so ya she gets big presents on holidays and B days

[daphne_pynk]

i've been using the red lipstick smothered on the 5 o clock areas trick, its helped a little. we're still looking for that perfect cover up. the one's we've tried so far made my skin look a bit too yellow. the search goes on

[bobbimo]

Hey Daphne!
I think you look wonderful. Pretty smile, nice figure,
But you need to work on those potentially lovely legs. :-)

[daphne_pynk]

thanks so much Bobbimo, i'm trying to wait till the winter to tackle my legs, right now i'm working in a pretty manly place right now. trying to place safe

[Eryn]

I think that you're pretty safe to have smooth legs. What "manly man" would admit to checking out another man's legs? :)

[FeliciaK]

i think you have a great sense of style and headed in the right direction :)
personally what i find that alters my appearance the most (for the better) is using false eyelashes-they really help define my eyes and something u might want to try out if u havent already.

[daphne_pynk]

Eryn: true..i may have checked out a few legs just to see if they did shave themselves lol, my plan is to do my arms and face at the same time. winter will let me bundle up and hide.

FeliciaK: great idea i'm going to give that a try! do you recommend any brands or just walk into a drugstore and grab anything to try out.

one of the things i know i need to work on is accessories, i'm always stumped on jewelry and subtle touches that make the outfit.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Daphne, You are so lucky that you have such a great foundation to build upon (A great figure)
that 's a great head start on a lot of us.

[FeliciaK]

mmm any brand really (currently im using ones by Ardell)-i think the more important factor would be size/spacing. for myself, i prefer thick/long lashes for more a more dramatic look.

[daphne_pynk]

FeliciaK: thanks i'm going to pick some up next time i can, this is going to be a fun project for me, I'll take pics of the results.

Blue Orchid: i used to hate being such a skinny kid growing up, i was always trying to bulk up. feeling good now i didn't get much results lol

[Barbara Ella]

Girl, you are out and on the loose, and I can tell you have been practicing and taking notes. You have a great style sense. you can get away with the brows if you put your bangs over them similar to the first pic. Try two or more pairs of hose on the legs if you cant shave them yet. Arms are a dead giveaway.

So glad you are recognizing your femininity and rewarding it. Just keep your lovely wife involved at all times. No surprises for her, and no going against wishes.

Barbara

[daphne_pynk]

oh wow that was a mountain of tips!

My wife is now very involved with my sexy half. i can tell she's enjoying it when we shop together, now we go to all the crazy fashion places and have a blast. we're close to the same size in everything, so we're kinda helping each other break out of our style prisons...mine being a little more drastic though.

[SuzanneS]

Daphne,
When I'm not Suzanne, I'm a "manly man in a manly job" and my customers are about 90% "manly men" also. I clip my arm hair....I was surprised that nobody said a word when I did it.... It felt (and looked) wayyy different, but nobody has said a word...even family members that see me every day. The only thing I haven't tried to get away with is my eyebrows, but I do keep them plucked. I hate to admit that I am a bigger girl...6' and have large hands, wrists, and feet, but looking at your pics, I'd say that you have quite the advantage over me. Yes, I know I get read up close, but nobody seems to bother me...Just remember that a smile goes a really long way....it helps more than you realize. And don't worry if your smile looks good to you, a smile is a smile for the most part, just be genuine when you do smile and you'll get a smile back 99.9% of the time.
Btw...I shaved my legs again for the first time since meeting my current girlfriend almost 3 months ago.... not sure what's gonna happen when she notices (and I know she will) but I'm not terribly worried. I missed the feeling of shaved legs and I'm pretty certain that I'm just going to keep them this way. Next time you go anywhere, keep notice of the guys showing off their legs....I'll bet ya that many more than you realize are hairless....
The pics look great, by the way! I wish that I looked that good.

Suzanne

P.S. Again...when I'm not Suzanne, I'm kinda, sorta, pretty much a down home country boy (surprise, surprise!), and I know what it's like to deal with beard shadow. Trust me when I say this..... Muster up some courage, drop by Ulta, (the store, not the dot com) on a slow monday morning about 10:45 or so and ask an SA for "something to hide your beard shadow"....My experience? Awesome! The SA made me follow her back to the Dermablend and matched it to my skin pretty quickly, and sold me a tube of it(almost $30). Quick and easy, no muss no fuss, it was great! Dermablend is your friend for beard shadow, or just about anything....a little dab goes a heck of a long way and makes a world of difference in how I look! Do it, and you'll thank me....I promise!

[daphne_pynk]

thank you for the heart felt response. I"m waiting for hair removal for a few reasons. My wife going to buy no!no! and she's waiting till we pay off a few bills first. by then it should be the winter (and good for me to hide my sultry ways) so its win win if i sit tight and bide my time.

I"ve heard of Dermablend before but i can't seem to find it anywhere. i've never been to an ulta store. might be a USA store only? I'm not really worried about shopping i just chicken out and ask my wife to do it lol I've been doing the dishes ever since

[Joanna41]

I would do more research on that nono thing. My research steered me away from it...the tips are costly to replace and it doesn't seem to really work all that well. As far as make-up goes, try using orange lipstick instead of red on your face as a beard cover up. If you keep with red and after it's all spread out it should look like a light sunburn all over. My wife does my eye make-up for me and I do all the rest....have fun with it.

Joanna

[daphne_pynk]

my shopping list is starting to pile up! eyeliner, false lashes, orange lipstick. we did go into a store and test out the nono on the insides of our arms, its been two weeks so far and nothing has grown back. do you have a link to the article your referring from? the more information i have the better

[Kelli Ca]

You look amazing already girl, love theorems and skirt wish I could loo half that good

[ReineD]

You look great, Daphne, welcome to the board! :)


I feel like i've mentally divided myself into parts of myself that my dad would approve of and the rest (sensitive side) as feminine or not male. I guess you can only repress for so long and my mental pot boiled over in the form of dressing.

I agree with not being able to repress this, but it wasn't just your dad. You also received messages that boys "shouldn't" dress from society as a whole, especially from your own peers when you were growing up. You likely would have been mortified to have your secret out to all the guys you knew in high school.

[daphne_pynk]

good point, i didn't mean to make it sound like i was pinning it all on him and i do agree with social guilt in society. although i always hung out with the girls even when i was young (i'm a chatterbox). Its kind of my fault in a way because i wanted him to be proud of me and i tried to achieve that by emulating him from only what i could see at the time. Now i see him as a man just like me with a sweet sugary center but a much harder outer shell. A few years ago i gave a really warm hug to my dad and he almost teared up. unless its wrestling dudes don't usually touch each other at all in my family..cuz that would be gay and not like good Christians. (two other brothers). He still tries to just shake my hand when we leave after visiting but I'm making him hug it out. But ya thats what society taught us to be and he might be more trapped then i am.

In high school I tried to confide in a friend about all these weird feelings i was having about myself and she then outed me to her friends and they ridiculed me every chance they had. I was so ashamed and humilated i became more or less a hermit in my high school. I couldn't tell my parents or teachers i didn't want anyone else to know. so i just stayed out of site alone off campus, no prom, no graduation. they couldn't make fun of me if they didn't see me. so ya that did happen to me and it sucked.

feels good to say it though.

[ReineD]

He still tries to just shake my hand when we leave after visiting but I'm making him hug it out.

Good for you!! You should keep on doing this. :) As reprehensible as I feel my ex is (he's not a CDer), he does love his sons and he has never been shy about expressing emotion and physical affection towards them.

Not to take this off topic and getting back to your pics, I really like your clothes. :)

[daphne_pynk]

i'm just glad i can talk about it. its been really hard for me in the past. I have two sons of my own now and i'm giving out all the hugs an affection i can. also i can watch cartoons again and not feel like an old wierdy

[ReineD]

i'm just glad i can talk about it. its been really hard for me in the past. I have two sons of my own now and i'm giving out all the hugs an affection i can. also i can watch cartoons again and not feel like an old wierdy

It's especially fun having an excuse to see the latest animated films when they come out at the movies!

It was embarrassing, going alone. :)

[daphne_pynk]

ohh thank goodness i'm not the only one

[bobbimo]

I agree, Save your money and dont buy the Nono.

[wife stephanie<3]

Absolutely love your outfits! I wish I could wear those and pull them off.

[daphne_pynk]

thanks so much, I wasn't sure if i totally pulled them off but what the hay. its all fun and games

[deebra]

LOve the top picture on the left, very feminine sexy shape. If you went to a really nice wig shop I think a very knowledgeable stylist could fit one to your face and skin tone and you would be blown away at how feminine and pretty it would make your face. Blond or medium brown with highlights would make your smart wife envious.

[reb.femme]

Hi Daphne,

First off, good to see you...literally, and I like piccy No. 1 best, as it looks girly and casual.

I know the man feet problem. My feet were designed to peel bananas, in fact, I might be the first sighting of big foot. :sad:

On the beard cover suggestions, I use Nivea for men to take the heat out of the razor session and followed this link for initial guidance. Just integrate what you know and what you learn. I like the red lipstick as a base, some will prefer orange, panstik for first cover and then Maybelline Dream Satin Liquid all over. Then a clear setting powder to finish.

http://www.reluctantpress.com/makeup.html

I await, with fresh lady breath, your next set of pics. :o

Rebecca x

[daphne_pynk]

thanks you so much for the link!, i wouldn't have thought to mix the lipstick and concealer together. i'm going to try that next time. in fact i just went to the drugstore this morning with all the suggestions posted here. eyeliner, fake lashes and layered foundation. i ended up looking like a zebra with lashes on his forehead but the foundation seemed a little better. here's a pic of the second try