How does one find a female friend willing to help one become similar?

[Emsigh]

I'm new to Seattle. Fairly isolated and not comfortable with group activities. The few women I know are unlikely to recover from my revelation.
Ideally seek a friend, a co-conspirator. Beginning from zero (on a limited budget), with myself feeling very shy & reluctant enough to be ruled by procrastination. Even though I'm fortunate in having long auburn hair, a nice face, 5'3''(~139lbs), a well proportioned body, very fine legs, and an exceptional small round butt (so I'm told), with the ability to move in character.
With in limits I'm a very interesting, intelligent, educated person.
Also find myself physically...interested in men. When I'm feeling feminine (much more so when I'm explicitly fem.)

Emsigh in Seattle

[AllieSF]

I would say that first you just need to meet a friendly woman/girl with whom you can be friends. You probably need to establish that kind of friendship with more than one, because you may lose a few along the way as you start to come out to them. I have never had any luck looking for a specific type of friend. I find a friend and then whatever we get along best with and enjoy each other's company doing defines what activities we will probably do the most. Letting it happen naturally then takes out the disappointment of not getting exactly what I was looking for. I also think that I am more relaxed and natural when I do not set that specific goal. Even though you may not be very comfortable in groups, groups do offer a great opportunity to network with others to find friends, male or female, with whom you can do some activities. I think that you might have better luck that way and maybe while looking and meeting new people you will be able to improve your social skills (if you think that they need that) for meeting people of interest when you are out alone. The main thing is that it does take time. Good luck.

[Tracii G]

You need to mingle plain and simple.If you don't do anything to help don't expect that something will drop in your lap.
You have to make the effort to reap the reward.
Find a GLBT group or a local CD group, go to a meeting that will open up all kinds of opportunities.
Don't be an "OH I can't do that because" type just get out there you will find the friend you are looking for.

[Amy R Lynn]

Well, having a GG help certainly does make things a lot easier. After all they are the real deal and know all about it! I was fortunate enough to have a GG friend that I knew I could confide in. She has been a wonderful help for me. If don't feel as though you could tell any of your female friends you may want to look into a local support group. Tri-Ess has many groups along the west coast. They should have one in Seattle. That could be another great way to make some friends that can help personally navigate you through things.

It sounds like you are looking for a boy friend/toy. If you are looking for a long term boy friend you may want to try some of the online dating services. If you are just looking to mess around though you have to be very careful. I haven't been out in public or anything but I have heard that there are many tranny chasers that can get somewhat agressive at times. If this is something that you would like to do, I sugesst making some friends at support group like Tri-Ess and go with a group. you won't be as vulnerable in a group and the others should be able to help you stay safe. Just be careful!

[Stephenie S]

Here comes Stephenie with another pronouncement.

Finding someone to "feminize" you is lazy and dishonest. It's a very common request here for just those reasons.

It's lazy because presenting as a woman is work. You have to do it. Wanting someone else to do it for you is understandable, but you are gonna have to eventually do it by yourself. You're not 5 years old. You are an adult. Why not start now and learn to do this by yourself?

Dishonest because by letting someone else do it you are removing all responsibility for your guilt and shame. Get over it.

Listen, women present as women on a daily basis. We have no time to come over and get you ready. Do it yourself. In addition to becoming self sufficient, you will gain the satisfaction of taking responsibility for yourself, just like a real grownup.

Please don't take this too personal. It's not just directed at you, but at all those on the forum who just "can't" do it and want someone to do it for them. There's TONS of help out there to take advantage of. Put on your big girl panties and learn to do this by yourself.

S

[Karren H]

A female friend of mine on Facebook told me she answered an ad in the local paper from a crossdresser asking for help in shopping for womens clothing... blossomed into a relationship and they are engaged now... creative and pretty cool if I don't say so...

[AllieSF]

Contrary to what Stephanie said, I think when possible it would be a great way to see what a well done final product looks like on yourself and then learn from that same person how to do it yourself. In this day and age of "fast" everything, who has time to learn from scratch everything they want to do, when there exist viable and affordable short cuts that get you to the same point so much quicker. I do agree that you should learn how to do it yourself and not use another experienced person as a crutch for the long term. I see what she is looking for is a short term assistance. I also do not get your "dishonest" comment. Could you clarify what you see and read that I do not. I see a person who is asking for help to get her "there" quicker and that is all.

[kimdl93]

It's no different than how one might normally meet people. As Allie says, you don't set agoal to meet a certain type ofperson...you just make friends as the opportunity arises and let the truth of you, in all dimension, come out.

But please remember that women are not a utility existing only to help facilitate your needs...they're people with interests and needs of their own. Show a genuine interest in others and a genuine empathy for others and you may receive the same in return .

[VeronicaMoonlit]

Finding someone to "feminize" you is lazy and dishonest. It's a very common request here for just those reasons. ................Please don't take this too personal. It's not just directed at you, but at all those on the forum who just "can't" do it and want someone to do it for them. There's TONS of help out there to take advantage of. Put on your big girl panties and learn to do this by yourself.

S

I'm with you!


Contrary to what Stephanie said, I think when possible it would be a great way to see what a well done final product looks like on yourself and then learn from that same person how to do it yourself. In this day and age of "fast" everything, who has time to learn from scratch everything they want to do, when there exist viable and affordable short cuts that get you to the same point so much quicker.

There are these things called "makeovers" and MAC and Sephora stores. Somone doesn't have to exploit another persons friendship with the sole intent of getting them to feminize oneself because someone can't deal with the guilt.


I also do not get your "dishonest" comment. Could you clarify what you see and read that I do not. I see a person who is asking for help to get her "there" quicker and that is all.

They're being dishonest with themselves. can't you see the subtext there? If they want to get there "quicker" they can pay one of those overpriced "feminization/transformation services" until they learn to put on their big girl panties.

And another thing, this stuff isn't rocket science...there's a ton of books, magazines, catalogs, websites, videos, where you can learn this stuff on your own.

Veronica

[Barbara Ella]

Lets recognize that there are many different ways to learn. Some can read a book, see pictures, and pick it up. Others cant use a book. Some people absorb visually seeing an action by another person, but some cannot learn from a video. Still others must have a personal tactile experience on themselves to register a learning response, while others have no reaction to someone working on them and pick up nothing. Some people have absolutely no comprehension of what they are doing to themselves and cannot judge what they have just done, or how to change it. Doesn't matter how many times they repeat something, they just cannot grasp or improve.

Everyone is different. I like to think Engineers have the best shot (Karren, some support here?...LOL). If you have fun doing it your way, do it your way. You just really have to work at finding people, meeting, making friends etc. if that is what you need.

Dishonesty, can't go there, Easy fix, sure, but maybe it is the best way for this person, don't know.

barbara