Have you ever been humiliated by female Sales Assistants when shopping?

[heathr1]

I was years ago.

The shop is now closed down.

The time I was humiliated was a one off.

Most places in the UK now provide TG sales training.

[kimdl93]

not even once. I have always been treated with respect and courtesy. I think sales commissions might have something to do with it, but I choose to believe that they are genuinely friendly and supportive.

[AngieStone]

So far (knock on wood) all mine have been positive. They have all ways been helpful and respectful. Even had a few give nice comments on how cute something that I was buying looked.

[STACY B]

I was just waiting for this thread an didn't even know it ,,,lol,, Trust me they have tried . But never suceeded ,,At the nail salon too ,,, But never made it ,, You let them take control an some people will humilate you . But dont give them your POWER ! The word is Flip the Script ,, Sir can I help you ? Why you most certainly can ! Are you buying this for a freind ? No it for me ! Would you like a dressing room ? Why yes I would ,,, If its not to much trouble ! Do you wear womans clothes ? Yes dont you ! Are you gay ? No are you ! Are you going to have surgery ? No are you ! Does your wife know ? Why dont you ask her ,, She's right behind you ! An on,,,on,,,on,,, POWER ,,,Dont give it away .

[katie_barns]

Only once and I have been shopping for women's clothing for a long time, both in drab and en femme.
On the opposite side. I have had many great, and fun experiences shopping, expecally when they know.

[Eryn]

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."
[Joe, The Princess Diaries]

I used to be worried about this, but I've never been treated with anything but respect while shopping dressed or in drab.

[kimdl93]

I was just waiting for this thread an didn't even know it ,,,lol,, Trust me they have tried . But never suceeded ,,At the nail salon too ,,, But never made it ,, You let them take control an some people will humilate you . But dont give them your POWER ! The word is Flip the Script ,, Sir can I help you ? Why you most certainly can ! Are you buying this for a freind ? No it for me ! Would you like a dressing room ? Why yes I would ,,, If its not to much trouble ! Do you wear womans clothes ? Yes dont you ! Are you gay ? No are you ! Are you going to have surgery ? No are you ! Does your wife know ? Why dont you ask her ,, She's right behind you ! An on,,,on,,,on,,, POWER ,,,Dont give it away .

I love this response!

[TxKimberly]

Nope, I've always been well treated!

[Robinkay]

:eek:Just once in Walmart, (last time I will ever buy from them ever)
I was trying four different pair denim Levies for fit,one was just right
as I returned the outer pair the sale's lady said your buying lady's jeans? with a vary nasty look on her face!

[Rachel Renee]

Once about ten years ago I went to Dollar General to buy my first bra (I know) and the cashier looked at me and literally laughed out loud. Shen then said, quite loudly, "I don't eeeeven wanna know". Well I was pretty horrified and said something along the lines of "that's good, because it's none of your effing business". It took me a while to rebuild the nerve to buy things. Never again at DG, you can be sure.

[Brittany CD]

It's generally considered unprofessional to try to humiliate your customers, so I can't imagine it would happen often. They would probably make a face when you turn your back and that's it

[Darla]

I love this response!

Me too! Priceless. Flip the script! How long have we dealt the script given us?

[Debglam]

I was just waiting for this thread an didn't even know it ,,,lol,, Trust me they have tried . But never suceeded ,,At the nail salon too ,,, But never made it ,, You let them take control an some people will humilate you . But dont give them your POWER ! The word is Flip the Script ,, Sir can I help you ? Why you most certainly can ! Are you buying this for a freind ? No it for me ! Would you like a dressing room ? Why yes I would ,,, If its not to much trouble ! Do you wear womans clothes ? Yes dont you ! Are you gay ? No are you ! Are you going to have surgery ? No are you ! Does your wife know ? Why dont you ask her ,, She's right behind you ! An on,,,on,,,on,,, POWER ,,,Dont give it away .

Yes (not humiliated but challenged by an SA), and this works.

Let me add this response: "Uh huh. . . where would I find the manager?"

[Stephanie47]

The only time I felt the sales associate was trying to convey a negative feeling was decades agp. I was at a J C Penny buying a Vanity Fair shaper half slip. I had the advertisement and size written down attempting to convince her and myself that I was buying the garment for my wife. I remember saying with a smirk "You have the ad and everything!" I had no issues buying a red bra, red panty and red slip at Valentine's Day. I wonder what the problem was???? Just kidding! Now I buy girdles, bras and shape wear on line. Come to think of it, the worst look I ever got was from the guy behind me in line when I bought the Vanity Fair red bra. I guess I must have beat him to the last one in our size. :)

[Eryn]

Once about ten years ago I went to Dollar General to buy my first bra (I know) and the cashier looked at me and literally laughed out loud....

I have a feeling that a store called "Dollar General" doesn't hire the sharpest people to be cashiers and likely doesn't train them at all in customer service.

[Nicole Erin]

If you go in there and buy stuff with the indifference as if you were buying say a gallon of milk, they ain't gonna say anything.

Once or twice the SA might have giggled but who gives a rat's ass?

Oh and about Dollar general, the ones I have been to are dumps. Funny thing it was brought up cause I went to one today. I was intimidated to be around all those high-class people.

Well put it this way, when I opened the door a spider went in, for real, Boy his ass was big and ugly. Anyways i didn't even step on him cause i figured he was probably higher class than anyone else in there (except me of course).
Yes I know it was a "he" cause my eyesight is THAT good.

Oh also someone on the forum here told me in NY where she lives they have a chain of stores called "Holla Dollar". She is not one to BS and not really the "making up jokes" type but I didn't believe her so I looked it up. I imagine running, laughing and clapping is heard there quite a bit. (don't ask, it is not a nice joke)

[StevieTV]

The only time was the first time I bought a pair of heels. The SA at SEARS asked if they were for me. I got frazzled and then she was just huffy. I still walked away with my shoes, but it did intimidate me for the longest time. Move the clock ahead 25yrs and now it's "whatever".

[Barbara Ella]

I have tried on shoes en drab at Payless, and he SAs have helped tremendously and never a negative comment about helping a dude try on heels. I have only shopped twice enfemme at Macy's and Dress Barn, and was treated wonderfully.

Barbara

[Sandra1746]

I have bought tops at Dress Barn where they have to unlock the try-on rooms so the SA was under no illusions who I was buying for. They were friendly and helpful. Same thing looking for a bra at Haines Outlets. A direct and friendly approach has worked well for me.

If you look unsure of yourself then you are setting yourself up for a "fall". Be confident and you will likely be OK. BTW, I LOVE Stacy B's post.

Enjoy,
Sandra1746

[Jo-Ellen]

I haven't always had the confidence I do now, but years ago...maybe 15-20 I had a bad experience. I was in the lingerie department at a J.C Penny store and being a bit confused by the sizing I was taking a long time to decide on these panties I wanted to buy. It was a Sunday afternoon and I was the only customer there when I heard an announcement for security to go to the lingerie department. Coward that I was I left, sure it was me they were coming for. Never again, but philosophically I know I had to endure everything I have had to....to reach the place I am today.

[Sharon B.]

Once about 15 to 18 years ago in Fashion Bug brought a dress in drab attire took it home and had to exchange it the next day and the sales associate made a remark that she hope it fits this time. Haven't been in that store since. All of the other stores I shop now are really nice about shopping in there stores some will even let me try something even in drab attire. I am usually under-dress as a woman though.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Heathr, It's like Stacy said don't ever let them take control.

A couple times a smart A$$ cashier would say ,
oh that's going to look great on you and I said
"I sure hope so or I'm returning it first thing in the morning"

The look on their face is PRICELESS !!

[BLUE ORCHID]

I have tried on shoes en drab at Payless, and he SAs have helped tremendously and never a negative comment about helping a dude try on heels. I have only shopped twice enfemme at Macy's and Dress Barn, and was treated wonderfully.

Barbara
Hi Barb, You just gota love Payless, One time I got a pair of black stilettos and a pair of black male loaffers
and the SA. said oh this is the first time that she ever saw me buy a pair of mens shoes so
I said " Well one pair for daytime and one pair for evening" I never did tell her which was which
I bet that she's still laughing.

[tealannette]

i have been buying all sorts of things for years. never had a bad experiance (thankfully).

[Joan_CD]

Only once in an Avenue a few years ago. I was not presenting full female and was there with my wife. An older SA was smirking and making gestures behind my back (saw it in the mirror). I went back a few weeks later in full female mode and went directly to her for assistance. She didn't recognize me and treated me like any other woman that was shopping. Other than that one time I have never had a problem in either mode but normally shop female as that is the way I present now, other than at work!

[DanaR]

Yesterday, I stopped by a Joann Fabric and Craft store to buy a bra extender. I found the extender and walked up to the cashier and laid the extender on the counter. The SA looked at me and asked if my wife sent me up to buy it. I just gave her the money and didn't say anything. If she would have asked again, I would have told her.

[Marleena]

I was just waiting for this thread an didn't even know it ,,,lol,, Trust me they have tried . But never suceeded ,,At the nail salon too ,,, But never made it ,, You let them take control an some people will humilate you . But dont give them your POWER ! The word is Flip the Script ,, Sir can I help you ? Why you most certainly can ! Are you buying this for a freind ? No it for me ! Would you like a dressing room ? Why yes I would ,,, If its not to much trouble ! Do you wear womans clothes ? Yes dont you ! Are you gay ? No are you ! Are you going to have surgery ? No are you ! Does your wife know ? Why dont you ask her ,, She's right behind you ! An on,,,on,,,on,,, POWER ,,,Dont give it away .

I'll third or forth this one. Well said Stacy! :)

[Launa]

I've been intimidated before. One time I was in an awesome ladies consignment store and a older SA said loud from behind the counter "sir can I help you with anything?" I said no its all good and never bought anything. I went back a year later with my wife and we picked 3 things from the racks. I tried them on in the change room as there were single change room doors off the main floor. Its not like a tight ladies changing room or anything. Anyway we went to the cashier to pay and the same lady was being a bitch and said to my wife are these for you? The wife looked her in the eye and said no they're for him. She then said okayyyyyyyy. As if she didn't know, my wife is small and all these clothes were size 18 tall. What a cow!
I am making strides to never get embarrased again though. If someone gets obnoxious with me again, I am going to give it back to them "politely though" but still take no crap and if they make a scene it will be their problem.

[t-girlxsophie]

Never had a nasty comment,but have had staff make a joke when I'm buying make-up,or clothes in drab.e.g. "are you sure this is your colour" I've gained a lot of confidence up to this point so If a chance like that arises I don't hide the fact the stuff is for me.I 'm not concerned how it makes them feel

[Cynthia Anne]

Years ago a sa called the police on me 'cause she said I was weired! I had no problem with the police! I told her that my money was too good for her anyway and I left!

[DanaR]

I think that if a SA was being disrespectful to me, I would ask if they were the owner and this is the way that they treat their customers. If you aren't doing anything wrong and are just trying to purchase an item, then you should be treated respectfully or go somewhere else.

[SuzanneS]

Oddly enough, the farther South that I have travelled, the nicer the stores seem to be for the most part. Although, I had a better experience dressed enfemme at Kohl's than I did at a Walmart one night in Des Moines.
As far as anyone asking if anything matches your color.... Pull a $20 bill out and ask if that color matches theirs....

Suzanne

[~Joanne~]

So far I have only had two bad experiences one was at a CD specialty shop....go figure the other at Kmart where the male SA asked if "I didn't find any purses to go with my shoes" which I said "oh are there matching purses over there?"

My nicest comment was at targets where the SA said "these are so cute" referring to the heels I was buying but that comment wasn't directed to them being mine in any way.

Most of the time I don't get any comments one way or another.

[Eryn]

Yesterday, I stopped by a Joann Fabric and Craft store to buy a bra extender. I found the extender and walked up to the cashier and laid the extender on the counter. The SA looked at me and asked if my wife sent me up to buy it. I just gave her the money and didn't say anything. If she would have asked again, I would have told her.

I will point out that most people are simply clueless about crossdressers. We're not all that common and most people just don't think about us at all, except as occasional comic relief on TV. Take someone like that, put them in their first day or two on the job at JoAnn Fabrics with minimal customer service training and you're going to end up with unintentionally inane statements or questions when they deal with a man buying items that men normally don't buy. It's just human nature!

If you decide to tell her, how you do it is important. I think that it is better to educate rather than berate.

If you say nicely "I crossdress and most of the nice bras need an extender to fit me" the salesgirl will remember the polite crossdresser that she waited on.

If instead you come up with a snappy putdown the salesgirl will remember how shabbily she was treated by that nasty crossdresser.

If I'm the next crossdresser that enters that store, I know which situation I'd want to walk into!

[DanaR]

I will point out that most people are simply clueless about crossdressers. We're not all that common and most people just don't think about us at all, except as occasional comic relief on TV. Take someone like that, put them in their first day or two on the job at JoAnn Fabrics with minimal customer service training and you're going to end up with unintentionally inane statements or questions when they deal with a man buying items that men normally don't buy. It's just human nature!

I understand, and I'm usually very kind and patient with people. When then SA asked if my wife had sent me to pick them up, just by her tone and the way she said it, I didn't want to get into a discussion with her.


If you decide to tell her, how you do it is important. I think that it is better to educate rather than berate.

If you say nicely "I crossdress and most of the nice bras need an extender to fit me" the salesgirl will remember the polite crossdresser that she waited on.

If instead you come up with a snappy putdown the salesgirl will remember how shabbily she was treated by that nasty crossdresser.

If I'm the next crossdresser that enters that store, I know which situation I'd want to walk into!
Like I said before, this SA wasn't one that I would normally talk to about something like this, she seemed to be serious by the way that she asked. That is why I didn't engage her in a conversation. I usually don't have a problem if the SA makes a comment, because I'll say that they are for me. I used to have a couple of pictures in my wallet that I would show, if it seemed appropriate. I completely agree with you about how you treat people reflects on all of us, so I try to be kind and understanding.

[RainyNightGirl]

I have never had a negative experience (touch wood). I am not sure how I would handle if it I did, but I do not think it would stop me. I do want to say however that I have had nothing but excellent service at Payless when buying women's shoes and that goes with male SAs as female SAs. I laugh at the negative comments on Dollar General because I almost went into one tonight but they were closing.

[dragdoll]

I have a feeling that a store called "Dollar General" doesn't hire the sharpest people to be cashiers and likely doesn't train them at all in customer service.

OMFG...I came to this thread to post about my absolutely infuriating experience at a DG store last year, instigated by this ignorant moron employee who kept following me around the store and heckling me, even as I was leaving. I was in androgynous "drab" and just trying to look at the womens sandals among other things and she was just being way too obnoxious so I had to leave. When I called to complain to the manager I was shocked to find out SHE WAS the manager. So I called the district/corporate office and the guy I talked to was a complete imbecile too, so I got nowhere. Never again.

Another time, at Lane Bryant, I was in drab and looking for a waist cincher, I had to deal with this a-hole of a sales associate who couldn't have been a day older than 20 and who kept making it a point to call me "Sir" as many times (and loudly) as possible. I got so annoyed that I called her a fat pig and walked out. I'll spend my money elsewhere.

I think the most annoying is when they think they are so clever and witty that you're not going to notice their thinly-veiled sarcasm and actually believe they're being "courteous" when in reality they have no work ethic and think its cute to embarrass and play head games with "weird" customers. I've gotten less and less tolerant of it over the years. If they don't care if their store makes money, there are plenty of others that do.

[Eryn]

Well, I'm sure that calling her "a fat pig" taught that SA a valuable lesson and she'll treat the next CDer that comes in with great respect. Not.
:brolleyes:

[dragdoll]

Well, I'm sure that calling her "a fat pig" taught that SA a valuable lesson and she'll treat the next CDer that comes in with great respect. Not.
:brolleyes:

I'm not even sure she realized I was a CDer as I was in total male mode. In any case, her parents should have aborted her.

[almisami]

I haven't had genuinely bad service anywhere, although I've had clerks get eyes so wide I was afraid they'd pop out by the time she opened the changing room. I've also had clerks just go full robot mode and just cut off conversation completely with this blank expression.

[Sweet Caroline]

Only once have I been poorly treated by a sales associate, the owner. It was an early Sunday AM. I was only guy in the shop. I told her what I wanted. She seemed annoyed with my presence in her shop. The lady was no help at all, she rushed me in the back of the shop and left me alone with several wigs to try on. There was no help or suggestions. Mind you now I was new at all this and needed all the help I could get. Finally she tried to sell me the most expensive wig in the shop. I did not like the style or cut. I did decide on a cute "bob" and made my purchase. I left her shop knowing I was never coming back. Over the years I have purchased a least 50 wigs and not one from her again. By word of mouth I also discouraged others from going there. She is no longer in business.

The general public is so ignorant and stupid about anything. Sometimes I worry about us as a country. LOL

[Cheryl T]

The closest I came was at a Bradlee's store years ago. I stopped in a found a lovely bustier with matching panty and black stockings set. At the register the young girl looked at it, then at me and said, "You're going to look lovely in this". Without missing a beat I said, "I certainly hope so".
Her jaw dropped and she just bagged it and off I went.

BTW, I did look lovely in it...unfortunately it eventually fell victim to a purge.

[Kathi Lake]

Humiliated? Of course not! It takes two to be humiliated, you know.

Have I had one or two ladies give me the stink-eye? Certainly! I choose to keep smiling, keep trying things on, and not let them ruin my day. In fact, with one I kept talking with her, and asking for things to try on even after I had selected what I wanted, just to remind her of who the customer was.

:)

Kathi

[JackieInPA]

I have had a few experiences...first at a Local payless...there was a change in the shoes for a friends wedding that my wife was in a few days before the wedding, and unfortunatly my wife was a away at a conference so she told me what to get and what color...the male associate was particularly rude to me. I was in full male mode...am obviously not a size 8 shoe but he kept loudly insisting these were custom shoes and i had to try them on because they wouldnt refund colored shoes. I explained the situation to him but he didnt relent insisting i try on the shoes, so i told him to stuff it and went to another local Payless and was treated with respect and curtesy. The other Bad incidents both happened a a local Katherines. I went in was the only customer in the store and the sales associate asked if she could help me...i told her I was just looking...she then proceded to stand int eh middle of the store and blatently stare at me no matter where i went...i got angry not embarrased and left and did not come back for about 6 months to that particular store...at the same store a while after the six months i aasked to try something on and was told no as there was a female customer in the changing rooms...I was ok with that answer and just bought the item...next time i came in as i was leaving the SA says to the ther SA.."The last time he came in he asked to try something on, can you believe it?" This preempted another long boycott of that particular store. I started then travelling an extra 17 miles to go to the next closest Katherines where they have treated me with nothing but fondness and respect even chiding me on being gone for so long lol.

[Jessica S]

I'm with Kathi on this one "Humiliated? Of course not! It takes two to be humiliated, you know." I have also got the stink eye from a couple of prudish SA. But some will make a comment like "sure you have the right size or that color will look good on you." I don't think they are trying to humiliated me just letting me know that they know am a CD. I have no problem with that because I am a CD. So SA get as nervous with me, as I used to get when I first started buying women's clothes(sometimes still do). The young SA at JC Penny's the other day got fluster when I asked where I could try on some dresses I was holding. She said are those for your wife? I just said no they are for me and she turn red and said I could try them on in the mens department. No Problem. She probably has not been asked that question by many men. I have had couple of SA hover around me while I shopped. I just think they are curious. We need to have thick skin and act pleasantly even if they are not, so everyone will get used to us and think of us a good customers. The SA that are real nasty, I think call back to the store and reporting them is better that going down to their level and call them names.

[Tina B.]

Well it was a long time ago, in a JCP far far away! I went in to get a Waist cincher, and there was a middle aged women SA at the cash register, when I laid down my purchase, she looked at me and rolled her eyes at me, I just smiled back at her, until she composed herself, and rung me up. I think it bothered her more than it did me.
Then last year at the market, a young lady checked out my groceries, got to a pair of pantyhose, and said, Oh are you sure this are your color, (they where Suntan), I just came back, with I thought so, would you recommend a different color, she laughed, and went on ringing things up, times have changed.
At Kmart this year I was going thought the checkout line with two pair of womens jeans, at the register was a twenty something young man, I usually avoid men, he rung me up and then said, wow, great price on them uh, I had to agree, yes times they are a changing.
Tina B.

[~Joanne~]

Does anyone really know of a store where the SA/clerks still make commission? I keep hearing this over and over and I can't think of one. JCP, dress barn, Kmart, payless etc,etc, etc, these are all minimum wage (or close to) jobs and I can see why we get treated the way we do and the management is always no better. When you have no stake in the sale then you really don't care if that customer comes back or not.

Just from this thread it shows that though a lot of girls don't think these sales people care and your money is the same as everyone else's, they actually do.

Just a thought.....

[Desiree2bababe]

Never will forget a couple of young sales girls at Macy's who knew and just went on and on how I should try stockings rather than pantyhose. Then there was the girl at Cache who blurted out that she had plenty of styles to fit me. Then the time when the clerk at the makeup counter asked if I was shopping for a big night out. I actually like it when the sales people acknowledge they know it's for me. The only time that mad me mad was when this male manager came to where I was trying on shoes and told the other ladies to let him know if I bothered them.

[SherriePall]

I have, over the years, been well treated at many retail stores and consignment shops. About the only time I really wasn't was at a local high end clothing store. I stopped by after work one day, wearing my work uniform (which was perfectly clean) and started browsing the junior section near the entrance. An older SA came over to me and announced that I was in the junior section after I told her I was looking for a dress.
She proceeded to show me to the more age-appropriate section and picked out a couple of dresses which were on sale. When I asked where I could try them on, she pointed me to a dressing room on the second floor. I tried them on, but none called to me to take them home. Plus the sale price was still considerably more than I was willing to part with for a dress that really didn't strike me.
I later found out from a beauty shop SA friend that she had the same type experience there when she was working in a factory atmosphere and went shopping after work.
We figured the SA was more snooty than anything else.

[Kaz]

Now I have to admit two things... first I am UK based and we DO NOT get the same attitude with regard to customer service as our US cousins! Many of you will have experienced this! Second... I have never ever bought anything while dressed. BUT, I have been buying women's clothes for the last 40 years or so... I remember as an 18 year old trying women's high heeled boots, with my girlfriend encouraging me, for on stage and generally looking like a guitar dude around town! Afghan coat, loon pants... what an era!

I have also consistently bought my wife underwear, outerwear for birthdays, Christmas and just because I wanted to!

It has never been a problem and I have had some great advice.... BUT...

There was once, when I walked into Marks and Spencer in a town 300 miles from home to buy a new thong (I was working away and had the 'urge')... The SA was very young and surrounded by a posse... she told me that there was a deal on - buy one, get three and would I like to find two more? Off I went but heard all the giggles behind me. I fronted them all, but that was classic!

The best was an SA probably in her thirties telling me that she wished her husband would buy her lingerie, and complimented me on my choice! Hey-ho...

[BillieJoEllen]

Two times come to mind very quickly. Bought a wig at K-Mart years ago and I didn't like the way I looked in it when I got it home. Took it back and the return lady asked me very caustically and loudly, "Didn't it fit"? I felt very humiliated.

A few years later I went to Lane Bryant and looked at a dress. Didn't buy it at that time because of lack of funds. Went back the next week to buy. Quite a few people in line when I went to check out. One of the SAs came walking by and proclaimed very loudly that she had seen me looking at that dress last week and that I would be very happy with it. Everyone stared at me. I could've melted into the floor.

[dragdoll]

I left her shop knowing I was never coming back. Over the years I have purchased a least 50 wigs and not one from her again. By word of mouth I also discouraged others from going there. She is no longer in business.

Yep. It seems like a lot of these people don't realize how much money they're losing until its too late. People need to put their personal feelings aside and realize that anyone who comes into their store with the intention of spending money is helping them stay in business/employed and we are not "bad customers". when they start discouraging certain people from shopping there they deserve to go out of business.



I have had a few experiences...first at a Local payless...there was a change in the shoes for a friends wedding that my wife was in a few days before the wedding, and unfortunatly my wife was a away at a conference so she told me what to get and what color...the male associate was particularly rude to me. I was in full male mode...am obviously not a size 8 shoe but he kept loudly insisting these were custom shoes and i had to try them on because they wouldnt refund colored shoes. I explained the situation to him but he didnt relent insisting i try on the shoes, so i told him to stuff it and went to another local Payless and was treated with respect and curtesy. The other Bad incidents both happened a a local Katherines. I went in was the only customer in the store and the sales associate asked if she could help me...i told her I was just looking...she then proceded to stand int eh middle of the store and blatently stare at me no matter where i went...i got angry not embarrased and left and did not come back for about 6 months to that particular store...at the same store a while after the six months i aasked to try something on and was told no as there was a female customer in the changing rooms...I was ok with that answer and just bought the item...next time i came in as i was leaving the SA says to the ther SA.."The last time he came in he asked to try something on, can you believe it?" This preempted another long boycott of that particular store. I started then travelling an extra 17 miles to go to the next closest Katherines where they have treated me with nothing but fondness and respect even chiding me on being gone for so long lol.

These scumbags should be confronted/reported/given an attitude adjustment because that is just wrong. Business owners should not let garbage people like this run their stores. Some of the stuff you posted is just straight up discrimination. In this economy, stores should be thankful for any business they get and the employees should understand how fortunate they are to have a paying job. This thread has prompted me to go out and buy a bunch of fem stuff today. If anyone gives me a hard time, they're going to get quite the lecture.

[Foxglove]

I've found this a very interesting thread. I wouldn't be the most experienced shopper by any means, but I've been around a bit and haven't had any bad experiences. I've had a couple of quizzical looks. Not long ago I spent about an hour in a pharmacy choosing lots of cosmetics and when I got to the checkout the (woman) cashier gave me a big smile. She had to have guessed that all the stuff was for me. But nobody's ever said a word to me. (Fortunately for them: I'd give them a look like a flamethrower and they'd go melting into the floor like the Wicked Witch of the West.)


I will point out that most people are simply clueless about crossdressers. . .

If you decide to tell her, how you do it is important. I think that it is better to educate rather than berate.

If you say nicely "I crossdress and most of the nice bras need an extender to fit me" the salesgirl will remember the polite crossdresser that she waited on.

If instead you come up with a snappy putdown the salesgirl will remember how shabbily she was treated by that nasty crossdresser.

If I'm the next crossdresser that enters that store, I know which situation I'd want to walk into!

This is an interesting observation, Eryn. In principle, I'd agree with you. It depends on what's said, though, I think. If it is something truly outrageous, I don't know, some people might find it hard to keep their cool, and I think the chances are excellent I'd be one of them. But it's a good point. I'll need to think about it some more.

Annabelle

[Jennifer Devine]

As long as they are making money on what you buy, what should it matter to them who is buying it? Any predjudices they have should be left at home as they should still give you the same amount of customer service as anyone else.

[Sally810]

I get my meds at Wal-mart and there is a clerk that loudly says 'Junior' especially while I'm enfemme. I usually pick up my meds and speak softly giving my initials and last name. It is irritating but not enough to change where I get my meds. I've gotten some strange looks from the North Florida 'crackers'

[JamieRog]

The closest I have ever came to being "humiliated" while shopping was simply being directed to the men's dressing room to try on female clothing. I really didn't mind, as I was not really en femme. Otherwise most sales people, in most stores have been quite nice and eveven offered up advice on what different style's might suit me.

[Tracii G]

One time Louisville Ky at Victoria's Secret.
Looking at the nice undergarments in drab and the older sales lady gave me the "OMG this guy is a perv" look with a scowl on the face.She told me men are not allowed in this section of the store.I walked out towards the front of the store and one sales lady said may I help you? I said no thanks I'll never be back.
Kind of humiliated but felt more pissed than anything.
I get emails from them all the time with sales and I email back no thanks your store blows ******.

[UNDERDRESSER]

I've had the occasional SA that seemed a little awkward about it, but no overt hostility or unprofesional behavior.

[chelle]

I just recently bought some lipstick in a General Dollar store. At the register, the lady there said we charge double when men buy things like this. I was nice but wanted to ask would she tell me wife that she would be charged double if she bought something for me.
Chelle

[max]

One time Louisville Ky at Victoria's Secret.
Looking at the nice undergarments in drab and the older sales lady gave me the "OMG this guy is a perv" look with a scowl on the face.She told me men are not allowed in this section of the store.I walked out towards the front of the store and one sales lady said may I help you? I said no thanks I'll never be back.
Kind of humiliated but felt more pissed than anything.
I get emails from them all the time with sales and I email back no thanks your store blows ******.

If you really want to change something you should write a letter to Victoria Secret's corporate office describing your experience and if possible the SA who treated you like that.

[whowhatwhen]

I just recently bought some lipstick in a General Dollar store. At the register, the lady there said we charge double when men buy things like this. I was nice but wanted to ask would she tell me wife that she would be charged double if she bought something for me.
Chelle

Isn't that insanely illegal and grounds for a suit?

[Eryn]

...[If] The SA that are real nasty, I think call back to the store and reporting them is better that going down to their level and call them names.

Very wise words. Your method will lead to positive change, attacking the SA directly only confirms their prejudice.


[at Victoria's Secret]...She told me men are not allowed in this section of the store....

That SA really needs to be educated in the history of the store!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victoria%27s_Secret#History



At the register, the lady there said we charge double when men buy things like this.Isn't that insanely illegal and grounds for a suit?

One thing I've noted in this thread is that some of us seem to be taking offense at statements that were probably intended as humor. Reacting negatively in those situations certainly doesn't do our public image any good. I think that giving the benefit of the doubt is better for our blood pressure and for the way the next male or CDer who purchases a feminine product is treated by that person.

[Marcia Blue]

The only bad experience I ever had was in an Ulta store. I was totally enfemme. The male SA checking me out said, rather loudly, "That will be $48.52 SIR". The que behind me was rather large. I really did not apperciate the unwanted attention. I paid the SA and left.

I called the store later and talked to the manager. On my next visit the same SA bent over backwards, being nice, and using only female pronouns.

It pays to make your complaints heard

[eire emma]

Earlier this year I was restocking after a purge(stupid thing to do)! Anyway was looking for a denim mini had searched a few places and went into a store and found a perfect mini and also denim shorts. I was in drab and went to the counter,the store was empty and the SA asked if I was ok.I said ya but would you mind if I tried these on? She left out a burst of a laugh but composed herself when she saw I was serious! She replied no we only have female dressing rooms,I replied fine returned the shorts to the rack but bought the skirt because it was so cool,don't know if I thought her a lesson but I'd love to go back there en femme to see how she would handle it.

[DaphneGrey]

Never had a bad experience I have taken people by surprise and was called sir once but it wasn't malicious.

[RainyNightGirl]

Yep. It seems like a lot of these people don't realize how much money they're losing until its too late. People need to put their personal feelings aside and realize that anyone who comes into their store with the intention of spending money is helping them stay in business/employed and we are not "bad customers". when they start discouraging certain people from shopping there they deserve to go out of business.


I agree completely, however we should be treated civilly and respectfully regardless of our money.

Natasha

[darla_g]

i never had any problems in any retail stores, they can sometimes assume that men buy things for their SOs. My only incident was in a Salvation Army where one of the male clerks kept trying to direct me to the men's part of the store. I just ignored him and continued shopping.

[Plasibeau]

It has been my experience, to date, that SA's tend to be more curious. If I go into a place that I haven't been too before I usually get questions like; "Where do you perform?" And stuff like that.
Now I have had several bad experiences with other customers and in this example it was the owner who backed me up and I now work for her every spring at the Renaissance Faire. I was trying on a full womens costume (bodice, chemise, two skirts and bloomers) when a male customer in the leather part of the booth loudly stated he wasn't going to be buying anything if they were going to let faggots try on womens clothing. I have thick skin so it didn't faze me, but to the booth owners credit she stopped helping me and whirled on the man and said, "That's okay because your money is now worthless here, get the f**k out of my booth before I call security." . . . I've worked for her for the last three years. :-)

Edit: It makes me smile because this woman is less than five feet tall and the idot was about as tall as me. Shoulda seen the way he tucked tail and ran.

[dragdoll]

I agree completely, however we should be treated civilly and respectfully regardless of our money.

Natasha

Absolutely. Prejudice should never be tolerated in any way.



It has been my experience, to date, that SA's tend to be more curious. If I go into a place that I haven't been too before I usually get questions like; "Where do you perform?"

Oh wow this just reminded me of an absolutely horrific experience that I endured in my early CDing days that I completely blocked out of my mind. I went into an Eckerd drug store in full fem to buy an eyeliner pencil and the girl at the register asked me the same question ("Do you perform somewhere?") and I'm like "What? Seriously?" But that wasn't the worst part...As I was exiting the store the security alarm went off and the male manager and his female assistant mgr directed me to a room in the back where they performed a search on me. I was wearing a longish leather coat, but underneath I was wearing a very skimpy outfit (a matching halter top/short-shorts combo with open toe platform sandals) so as the male mgr was searching my coat, the female mgr was saying "I don't think anything can be hidden or concealed underneath this outfit its so skimpy, no need to pat him/her down" (I agreed). Finally the male mgr found a security tag/sticker stuck way up inside one of the sleeves and that was the culprit. He handed it back to me and sarcastically said "Thank you for the inconvenience." I won't even post what I said in response but let's just say I was beyond pissed. I even considered filing a lawsuit with the store where the jacket was purchased from but it was at least 2 years old and I obviously had no receipt or anything to back me up legally. I never knew the thing was there but what a horrible way to find out.

[Shannon C.]

I have had nothing but positive experiences with SA when I go shopping. Just the other day I was shopping with my friend and we headed to the dressing room to try some things on. She was in front of me and was shown a room and I was immediately helped next. The SA asked if the clothes I was holding was for my friend. I politely said no they are for me. She was taken aback for a split second apologized for the assumption than showed me to a room. During the same shopping trip but at a different store I was holding a few skirts I was going to purchase while my friend played with the makeup in the store. A SA commented that the skirt I was holding would look really cute on me. I smiled at her and said thank you. I didn't take her comment in a negative mean spirited way. I actually find it fun because if they only knew the truth behind their comments they probably wouldn't have made it to begin with.

I hope to never have to experience SA that go out of their way to make me uncomfortable. I agree with what many people have stated here that the best thing to do is be polite and bring your complaints to their supervisor/manager.

[Darla]

I agree with the "it takes two to be humiliated" thing, but honestly, I've fought more with my own insecurities over the years, and rarely had to deal with any SA's. Shopping around New York, the SA's have seen it all, and it depends on who you get. I once was shopping at a dancewear store and picked out a few pairs of tights and a leotard, and brought them to be rung up. I got a "these are women's tights" from the salesgirl, and practicing my best confidence said yes indeed, with a brief smile. I think dancewear stores have a chip on their shoulders sometimes as they're used to serving dancers - who are a haughty breed, and don't like pretenders - male or female.

But to relate another wonderful story, I remember buying a pair of Spanx and getting rung up I was so nervous and flustered. The cashier saw the mental distress I was under, and she had this look of sympathy on her face, basically trying in not so many words that it was okay. It was a brief exchange that sort of renewed my faith in the world. Maybe she had a brother who came out, maybe she was just a genuinely empathetic person.

Long and the short of it - I feel like if I feel proud of who I am, then whatever is reflected back by anyone else is on them.

Darla

[Pretty Nails]

I have had good shopping experiences. So far I have always shopped in male mode but the SA's I have encountered have been professional. Some have the "deer in headlights" look for a moment, when I say "no, its for me" but then have been friendly and kind.
At one used clothing store here, Junkee Clothing Exchange, the owner and most of her SA's all know I'm a CD and they have been nothing but kind and helpful. One day while looking at a beautiful long pink gown with bows and other girly frill I was asked politely if I would like to try it on. I was shown to a dressing room and the clerk looked perfectly normal while some of the clientele looked shocked and amazed. The dress fit nicely, except over my shoulders. When I went to put it back the supervisor/manager woman asked about the dress and when I told her she said that "we don't normally do this, but if you take it somewhere and they cannot alter it to your liking just bring it back and we'll give you a refund".
I love shopping there. I buy jeans and panties at Target as they have always been nice to me.

[Sarah-Ann]

One time Louisville Ky at Victoria's Secret.
Looking at the nice undergarments in drab and the older sales lady gave me the "OMG this guy is a perv" look with a scowl on the face.She told me men are not allowed in this section of the store.I walked out towards the front of the store and one sales lady said may I help you? I said no thanks I'll never be back.
Kind of humiliated but felt more pissed than anything.
I get emails from them all the time with sales and I email back no thanks your store blows ******.

Forgive my ignorance, I obviously don't shop at VS, but why would men not be allowed in a certain part of the store? IS there some mystical female zone where only females are allowed, and men are turned to bubbling ooze if they cross the threshold? I am simply curious. It sounds like a lot of hokey to me, and I would def. recommend writing to the corporate office, you may even get a nice coupon for some half off lingerie ^_^

I haven't really had any negative experiences that I can remember. Lots of embarrassed moments, just because I thought everyone in the entire store was staring at me while I was making my choices, or purchases. As I have gotten used to making purchases in public stores, I find that most other customers don't give a hoot why I am in the women's department, and most of the SA don't either. I was cursed with a very manly stature, so I figure most think I am simply buying for my SO. I do remember one time I purchased a pack of 3 plain white cotton hi-cut panties while working on the road once. The woman at the register smiled and asked, " and who are these for?" I turned beet red, and smiled back at her. She rang me up, smiling the whole time. It wasn't a smile of trying to humiliate me, but rather a smile that said, " I understand these are for you, and I think that is cute." I have had one other such incident, almost cookie cutter to that one at another store. Never a negative experience so far though. My main worry is that a member of my work might show up to the store, ( I live in a small town where everyone knows each other, but try to shop outside of the town limits). I think I would melt right there if a co-worker asked why my cart was full of panties, bras, make-up, and women's clothes. They may believe that they were for my SO, but they would heckle me at work.

I feel sad for those who were treated poorly while shopping. If these stores would stop and think in a business sense, they could almost double their profits if they catered to, or at least welcomed CDs and the transgender communities. Having women buy the clothing, ( which most women's clothing is generally more expensive than men's), plus having the CDs and TGs buy them would present a large profit margin for them. I suppose the ones who have employees which heckle customers don't care to stay in business for a long time, or sadly enough, they are simply enough a large enough corporation that they simply don't care. Good luck to all of you beautiful girls.

[Kathy4ever]

I have bought many fem items over the years. I have never noticed or heard any negative comments or facial reaction. At one drug store i was buying 4 or 5 nail polishes and one associate walked up to me and asked if i got the white one. I said no and we chit chatted a few seconds about the nail polish. It was the only thing i was buying and never any negatism from the anyone. I think the only close call was at Kmart and got a puzzled look from a customer when I was purchasing nail polish and some make up. I think sometimes cashiers aree just trying to be funny when men are buying things that are fem.I don't think most don't want to hurt your feelings. We got to remember that most men probable are embarrased when purchasing something fem because they are afraid that others might feel it is for them. I remember when I was younger hated to buy tampons for the wife, but now it does not bother me at all. I thought it was funny when I brought them home she was happy because I bought the right ones without her explaining to me what kind to get. You see with my more fem nature i am in tune to others needs now.That is progress.

[Beverley Sims]

One time Louisville Ky at Victoria's Secret.
Looking at the nice undergarments in drab and the older sales lady gave me the "OMG this guy is a perv" look with a scowl on the face.She told me men are not allowed in this section of the store.I walked out towards the front of the store and one sales lady said may I help you? I said no thanks I'll never be back.
Kind of humiliated but felt more pissed than anything.
I get emails from them all the time with sales and I email back no thanks your store blows ******.

A similar thing has happened to me in a VS in Los Angeles, I spoke to the manageress about the shabby treatment and we both confronted the sales assistant concerned.
No real fuss, I had explained to the manageress about public relations, assumptions made by staff and a myriad of other perceived observations.
I was given a $50.00 voucher as hush money I think because I had quietly pointed out serious shortcomings.
None of this was to do with CD'ing either.
Just a male being looked on as a dirty old man.:)

[Clorissa]

The Sales Assistants have always been very helpful. My wife and I do most of our shopping together at the RAK in S.F. As usual, I’m the only guy there actively going through the racks looking for good quality clothes at a good price. It’s fun. I come nowhere close to wearing woman’s clothes as my shoulders are too wide. Even in the Men’s upstairs, it’s the largest shirts that fit a size 17 neck. So I don’t even try this en femme. But when I see some sexy curvy jeans on sale, I pick these up for me, as my waist fits a size 12. There is always a good selection of these in the woman’s racks. My wife also goes through the men’s clothes upstairs for good cotton/ wool shirts for her at a better price than downstairs.

We’re both looking for cotton or wool clothes well stitched with a nice style, and in a decent color. The RAK mostly has pinks, bright reds, violets, and other off colors removed from the main stores for lack of interest. But sometimes, you can find a good quality garment in a decent color. It just takes some looking. By the woman. And me too. The jackets at the RAK are very good quality also. Some good leather ones. I’ve picked out some nice leather purses at a good price. Just takes some looking. When asking a sales assistant for a particular brand or style, they recognize some familiarity with good quality and respect that. And they respect your credit cards too. So they have always been very helpful. When I look up to take a break going through the racks, I see long hair and purses over shoulders. And then there is me. I really enjoy it. Helps keep intimacy in a marriage. The men can be found mostly sitting in chairs near the walls

[Cheryl T]

Nothing but positive experiences for me. Especially at Dress Barn...

[BethCD]

You make a very good point Eryn. But we should also take the route Dragdoll did ant contact management as far up the ladder as necessary, I think.

Beth

[Stephenie S]

Well yes, I have been shabbily treated at a our local Chico's store. It had nothing to do with crossdressing, I think, but just an impolite SA.

I have always bought my pants at Fashion Bug as they are inexpensive and sized for larger women, which I am. Last year I went into Chico's on a whim and tried on some pants. I found a pair that fit beautifully. I was amazed. They fit like the proverbial glove. But they cost almost $100. I bought a pair anyway and just loved them. I liked them so much that I saved up for two more pairs. When I went back to buy two more pairs (almost $200, right?) the SA tried to make me feel like a fool for wanting winter pants in the summer. Sheesh! I just wanted the pants. I didn't know they had a season, and she had no right to make fun of my ignorance.

I complained to corporate, but they were not that interested. I will never shop Chico's again. Too bad, as the pants were wonderful, and they lost a customer.

Stephie

[Vanessa Storrs]

A few sales associates have kidded me about my purchases but never in a hostile way. I think that the poor sales associates have received more humiliation from me than they have given. I brought a women's sweater to a register once and the cashier commented that it was a very pretty sweater, I replied that I had a cute little skirt it would go well with. She turned a brighter shade of red than the sweater.

[Sarasometimes]

Once in a DSW the cashier asked "So are these shoes really for your wife?" (visable wedding band and loud enough for others to hear) I simply replied "No these are for me, but I DO also buy shoes for her as well as bras, panties and even swimwear. Any other questions? I be happy to answer them. She just turned a bit pink, bagged them and thanked me.

[JeanneF]

The closest I've ever come to having an issue was at and Ann Taylor Loft store at the mall once. The fitting rooms weren't really conducive to a guy using it, so the manager let me try on a couple of outfits using the employee restroom instead. It was a little awkward having her make a big deal of it, but I could tell she was trying to be helpful.

Other than that, I've never had an issue, whether it's trying on shoes in a higher end store (where the SA has to get them for you) or clothing. Most SAs that I've met seem to get a kick out of helping a guy buy cute stuff.

[ME2.0]

I've had some strange looks, I like to buy feminine shaving creams instead of the Gillette or Barbasol, so when I put 2 cans of Pure Silk on the counter, some times they look. I just act as if I hadn't noticed and ask "How much did it come to?" I've actually had helpful people in a couple stores that helped me out with sizing and trying things on. When you find people like that, give their store extra patronage.

Hugs,
Staci

[heatherdress]

No. 99% of the time, they don't care, they don't say a word.

[donnalee]

It has been my experience, to date, that SA's tend to be more curious. If I go into a place that I haven't been too before I usually get questions like; "Where do you perform?" And stuff like that.
Now I have had several bad experiences with other customers and in this example it was the owner who backed me up and I now work for her every spring at the Renaissance Faire. I was trying on a full womens costume (bodice, chemise, two skirts and bloomers) when a male customer in the leather part of the booth loudly stated he wasn't going to be buying anything if they were going to let faggots try on womens clothing. I have thick skin so it didn't faze me, but to the booth owners credit she stopped helping me and whirled on the man and said, "That's okay because your money is now worthless here, get the f**k out of my booth before I call security." . . . I've worked for her for the last three years. :-)

Edit: It makes me smile because this woman is less than five feet tall and the idot was about as tall as me. Shoulda seen the way he tucked tail and ran.She sounds like a great person.
If you can do nothing else, never give them an inch. The area where I live is touted as maybe the most accepting in the country, but there are plenty of people here so insulated they might as well be back in the Bible Belt and view anyone with different lives as evil or next to it. This is the hiring pool for most of Walmat, K-Mart, Target and other chain stores; minimum wage, even at $10/hour, is not enough to live on, so these jobs go to the least qualified among us. There are a lot of dropouts hired, their only education beyond the rudimentary is the Sunday service. It really is very sad.
The only hassles I've experienced here is from that type of salesperson; don't let them run you off, just quietly but firmly insist on seeing their manager then explain to him/her what has happened; if that doesn't work, keep climbing up the management ladder, to corporate if necessary. Get names, times and what was said as much as possible. Most of these companies have non-discrimination policies and websites that list them, as well as who to contact.
Don't get mad, get even.

[Leslie Langford]

I've never had a negative experience shopping for clothes in women's stores whether en femme or in drab. If anything, I find that the SA's seem to bend over backwards when I shop in "Leslie" mode - especially if I am likely "read". I guess the curiosity factor then kicks in, and I invariably get the rock star treatment. In fact, sometimes I even have more than one SA join in to help me out for probably much the same reason. This used to unnerve me, but now I just go with the flow and enjoy the experience.

And for those who are still skittish about shopping openly for women's clothing, realize that "the times, they are 'a changin'" as Bob Dylan used to say, we are much more a part of the landscape than ever before, and stores are starting to adjust to this new reality. Just look at this exchange of letters to the Long Tall Sally community forum on their website regarding their transgender shopping policies, and you will see what I mean:

http://community.longtallsally.com/forum/topic.php?id=871

Women are far more at ease shopping for themselves in the men's sections of stores than we are, and we have much to learn from them. Just yesterday, I read a review of one of the Toronto-area H&M stores by Toronto Star fashion columnist Rita Zekas in which she makes the following statement:

"I take the escalator down to the men’s area, where mustard yellow reigns. Mustard skinnies are $29.95; mustard boating shoes are very cool and only $34.95.

There is a pale-pink Miami Vice suit for $129.95 and a grey-and-black Beatles jacket for $79.95.

I am a sucker for seersucker: a jacket is $129 and matching shorts are $39.95.

I regularly shop in the men’s department. Sadly, men’s shorts fit me better. So do shirts and hats."


http://www.thestar.com/living/shopping/article/1241736--stealth-shopping-h-m-hits-the-trends-at-affordable-prices

Hopefully, the day will soon come when men can talk openly about shopping for themselves in the women's sections of stores with equal ease, and with no fear of a negative backlash either...

[linda allen]

:eek:Just once in Walmart, (last time I will ever buy from them ever)
I was trying four different pair denim Levies for fit,one was just right
as I returned the outer pair the sale's lady said your buying lady's jeans? with a vary nasty look on her face!

Your reply could have been "Yes I am buying lady's jeans. They fit me much better than the men's jeans you sell."

Straight face, matter of fact, like you have said it a hundred times before.

[linda allen]

Once about 15 to 18 years ago in Fashion Bug brought a dress in drab attire took it home and had to exchange it the next day and the sales associate made a remark that she hope it fits this time. ...........

And your response should have been "So do I. It's a real pain having to drive back here each time."

The point is, she doesn't know if you are kidding or telling the truth, but she can't ask.

[Joan_CD]

Before I started shopping in female attire I had an SA make a remark as I was looking at tops. She saw me holding one up against me to see if it fit and she said in a disapproving tone... "the men's section is over there". I stared at her with my eyes a little narrowed and looking right into her face I said "and?". She looked down and walked away. Confidence is the key. Now as I only shop in female attire I never have an issue.

[May(be)]

I was out, my first time en femme (so my mastery of the illusion was not where it is now). I was returning a pair of shoes that were far too small. The cashier was having trouble processing the return, for whatever reason, and had to call over her manager- a male. She was explaining the problem, far too loudly for my comfort, to her manager and she proclaimed "I need help returning his shoes". It wasn't said with malice and I don't think she knew how to refer to a man dressed like me, trying to present as a woman. I don't think she meant to use the masculine pronoun and looked at me apologetically as soon as she did.

All I could say when my "secret" was spilled was "Don't worry, it's not the first time someone has called me a guy."

[Julia Stevens]

I shop at second hand charity shops and have had mainly good experiences. I have had a couple of bad ones, but I just stopped using those shops. I have been told that the skirt and boots I had just tried on would look good on me (I have never shopped in female mode). I have also have also had other compliments about the choice of outfit I was buying, and have never had a problem when I have asked to try something on. It feels really nice to get positive feedback and acceptance, although I also feel a bit shocked when they are so direct.

There was one volunteer assistant in a charity shop who asked me was the top I was buying a Valentine present. I said no it was for me (I felt brave that day). She then asked me what I was going to wear with it, and suggested trousers. She then asked me what was my bum like. I said "Errrrr." She walked round me, slapped me on the side of my bum and said something, I can't remember what, but something complementary anyway. I felt she was a bit over enthusiastic! Would she have slapped a womans bum? Probably not (but then maybe she would, who knows).