It gets easier, right? ....right?

[Ayaka.N]

Well for the past few weeks I've been getting things sorted in my head and gearing myself up to get on HRT. I found a clinic that can get me started and do all the proper tests. I started looking at things financially, making sure I could manage it all. It was all heading in roughly the right direction.

Then tonight. I don't actually dress that often, but tonight I felt the urge to femme up. A full body shaving, some make up and a change of clothes later, I was ready to don my brand new wig. It was a lighter shade than the curls I had previously been wearing and was straight, as I thought that might be easier to care for, unfortunately this was to be the beginning of my undoing. While I had read such advice before, putting on the wig I realised just how much curls help to break up face shape. While I usually wear some fake glasses to help break up the face shape further, they were hardly making a difference with the new straight wig, even though the shade was absolutely perfect. Nevertheless, I got ready to make a little trip out into the night. Unfortunately I felt ugly and manly all the way, and as much as I tried to push my mind into a better place and feel more confident about myself, it just wasn't sticking. I still felt manly and ugly.

So at this point I'm really wondering what kind of final result I can achieve, will I feel better with hormones, am I just not meant to take this path, and so many other tiny tinier neuroses. So tell me, it gets easier, right? ....right?

[Chari]

IMO it all does get easier - somewhat, but it does take time. Everyday there will be new challenges, and many times the thought of giving up occurs. You are becoming a new exciting person who has to unlearn some traits and practice enjoying your feminine side. Try to always be comfortable and confident in who you are and what is enjoyable in this wonderful adventure!

[Bree-asaurus]

It takes time. Whether you actually begin to look more feminine, stop trying to find masculine traits in the mirror, or simply accept that regardless of how you look that it can't keep you from living your life.

[Traci Elizabeth]

You have to decide who and what you are. None of us can do that for you. If you "know" you are a woman then be one. Remember women come is all shapes and sizes. Don't have unrealistic goals like, "I want to be beautiful, sexy, and a model." 99.999999% women do NOT meet all three of those.

[Inna]

Hon, I would rephrase your question, simply because there is no single answer to what you just asked.

We are all chasing the image we portray, after all, such presents us in the eyes of ever so critical societal conformity aspect. If it is about the image then FFS seams to be the only if any at all, to get 25 year old and older, closer to feminine face. FFS is not a guarantee though and one must accept these facts however, said that, best surgeons do work miracles, I assure you that!

But image is not what we are simply after or is it, if answer is yes, then I would strongly suggest rethinking this irreversible step into transition which carries so much unknown and our respect, however untrue and based on pretense, still, so far is intact.
But if you are after TRUE SELF no matter the consequence, then go for it with the open arms, for it is the most significant freeing experience I have ever lived through.

I so wish you all the love, Inna

[Badtranny]

So at this point I'm really wondering what kind of final result I can achieve, will I feel better with hormones, am I just not meant to take this path, and so many other tiny tinier neuroses. So tell me, it gets easier, right? ....right?

Hmmmmm, Does "it" get easier? I guess that all depends on what "it" is.

Much of what gets easier just gets replaced by stuff that's harder. This journey as far as I can tell, doesn't really flatten out for very long. It's pretty much uphill the whole way ...until you die.

We know all about feeling ugly and manly. I doubt there's very many TS women that don't, but I think the big issue for you right now is patience. It's natural to feel like a dude in a dress, in fact the resistance to this feeling is a healthy sign for TS women as far as I'm concerned. You haven't even begun HRT yet so there is soooooo much in front of you that I don't even know where to start. Much of this journey, as in life, is simply self acceptance.

When I finally accepted that I was destined to be a "handsome" woman, I began to see improvement. Slow improvement that is measured over months and years, not weeks, but improvement nonetheless. That may be the best you can hope for. Is that enough?

[celeste26]

That feeling is entirely inside your head. Women come in so many different sizes and shapes that it is a waste of time to reject any image you see in the mirror especially since it is really there for your own feedback. Please do not fall into the trap of
"impossible perfection" women have a tendency toward this already and it drives them mad. Patience is required for any big changes and if you haven't even started HRT you really have nothing at all to compare it with. Remember it takes GG's decades to grow into their full womanhood and it will take longer for someone like us who has to let go of all this maleness so look to goals 3-4 years out instead of trying to get instant results.

[Bree-asaurus]

Hmmmmm, Does "it" get easier? I guess that all depends on what "it" is.

Much of what gets easier just gets replaced by stuff that's harder. This journey as far as I can tell, doesn't really flatten out for very long. It's pretty much uphill the whole way ...until you die.

Oh yeah... and that...

[kellycan27]

I think that before you start worrying about it getting easier you might want to try and discover where you want to go with this. Doesn't seem like you are even sure if transition is for you so why worry about HRT? I saw nothing in the OP that says that you desire to to be a woman. My best advice is to seek professional help ( if you haven't already) and if you have... you need to give if more time. That being said... Harder is subjective, and harder for some may not be harder for others. There are a ton of factors that are going to make it harder or easier depending on each individual and their circumstance. One thing for sure is that this whole proposition is hard as hell.. that's a given.

Kel

Check out tsroadmap.com it may give you some insights

[arbon]

Becoming easier for me was becoming more comfortable and confident in myself, finding strength in being able to step out the door everyday while being true to myself, even when people don't always see me they way I wish they would.

[Jorja]

Of course it gets easier. In about 30 or 40 years.

Easier is one of those terms that means different things to different people. You will find it easier to select a dress for going out the more you do it. You will find it easier to put on makeup the more you do it. You may even find it easier to ignore the idiots that have to run their mouth about you every time they see you. One thing is for certain though, this is not an easy life and you will have to deal with everything life throws at you. Sometimes you will find that unbearable. Just be yourself and take life as it comes.

[Melody Moore]

I agree with a lot of what the others have to say, I think it is an up-hill battle, however
the more you accept yourself, the stronger you become and can cope with the climb.

But cast off those things that weight you down, anything negative in your life, just lose it!
Surround yourself with positive and affirming influences to strengthen your ambitions and
feel better about yourself. Stop looking in the mirror waiting to see change because it will
only make things so much harder for yourself. Take photos every few months or so and
then sit down and look at them after a couple of years. You will see the same person is still
there, however you will also see a lot does change, but only over time.

I have seen some pretty amazing transformations in my time and I don't think your story
need be much different. I just hope you find yourself and get on the right path for you soon.

:hugs: xx

[Elizabeth]

Hi Ayaka,

It does get easier, but only if you get ok with yourself. It really doesn't matter what others think. Only what you think.

Love always,
Elizabeth

[Stephenie S]

I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden.

You want easy? Life isn't easy, hon. I'm so sorry. But can it be rewarding? Oh, you betcha it can.

S

[Sally24]

If you don't "dress up" often then that's part of the problem. If you want to feel more comfortable with being yourself you have to express yourself. If youbare going on HRT and maybe further you need to dress as often as you can and practice makeup and movement. It gets easier with time, but only if you are doing instead of just thinking.