Why can't or don't I cry anymore Happy Pills?

[Rachel Smith]

It's been a while ladies sorry for my absence. I started happy pills about 3 months ago and haven't cried since and I feel sad about that. I have had times where I really wanted to cry about some things but it just doesn't seem to be in me anymore. It used to be when something touched me I would cry, when something made me happy I would cry. I also spent a lot of time thinking about just ending it all, thus the happy pills. Now I no longer have those thoughts but now it seems like I have lost the ability to cry and damn it I miss it.

Has anyone else had this experience?

Help
Rachel (yes I will talk to my therapist about it on Wed)

[Aprilrain]

the anti Ds smooth out the highs as well as the lows, i miss the slight mania i used to get. I still cry but only when im depressed

[LeaP]

the anti Ds smooth out the highs as well as the lows, i miss the slight mania i used to get. I still cry but only when im depressed

My mania wasn't slight. Beyond a certain point it turned into an aggressive, destructive train wreck. But you're right on - the run up to that for a day or so was always an incredible high.

Rachel, yes, I feel kind of emotionally flat at times. It's like feeling and not feeling at the same time. I think perhaps it's just a new state to get used to.

[ReineD]

It's been a while ladies sorry for my absence. I started happy pills about 3 months ago and haven't cried since and I feel sad about that. I have had times where I really wanted to cry about some things but it just doesn't seem to be in me anymore. It used to be when something touched me I would cry, when something made me happy I would cry. I also spent a lot of time thinking about just ending it all, thus the happy pills. Now I no longer have those thoughts but now it seems like I have lost the ability to cry and damn it I miss it.

Has anyone else had this experience?

Maybe you don't have anything to cry over? :)

If it means anything, I'm a genetic female and I consider myself to be quite average in terms of expressing emotion. I mean, I don't stifle emotion or anything. I do cry when my sadness is deep, but other than the things that touch the pain that is deep within me (the particular losses that I've suffered in my life and the events that trigger those feelings), I don't cry when I encounter run-of-the-mill sad events ... for example when I see a child or a loved one cry, or a sad commercial. I can feel empathetic without feeling the need to cry. And I don't ever, ever recall crying when happy. :)

I just wanted to share this in case you were comparing your emotions to other females, or if you were thinking that the emotional yo-yo you were on when you started HRT was a "normal" pattern for females (crying over everything). Most women that I know are like me, however, some women are more stoic. I never saw my mother's step-mother cry, for example. She was rather a "grande dame" and she would have felt it was in poor taste. This was common for women of her generation. lol Yet, I gather some women cry at the drop of a hat, although I don't know many women like this. :p

[Traci Elizabeth]

Spray Pepper Spray in your eyes and I promise you will cry. In fact, keep a can in your purse and whenever you feel you "should" or "want" to cry, just give yourself a short spray and BINGO the tears come.

[Rachel Smith]

Spray Pepper Spray in your eyes and I promise you will cry. In fact, keep a can in your purse and whenever you feel you "should" or "want" to cry, just give yourself a short spray and BINGO the tears come.

Thanks for the laugh Traci

Rachel

The problem is as Lea said I just feel flat.

[Rachel Smith]

Maybe you don't have anything to cry over?

Ok here's what brought me to pose this question.

We had a young Beagle show up at our house 4 weeks ago. Poor thing was full of ticks that looked like they were about to burst from all the blood they had sucked out of him, not to mention a zillion fleas. My friend Rick spent about 4 hours over 2 days picking the ticks off of him. He had no energy even though he looked to only be about 2 years old. He could hardly walk and it seemed like every step was an effort and he was very head shy almost like he had been beat. We fed him, loved him, treated him for the fleas and I even gave him a name, Pooch. I must admit at first I wanted to take him to the pound but in the end I came to look forward to seeing him come to greet me when I got home from work. I spent time with him every day and if I was outside working in the garden he was always there with me. He would walk with me at night when I went to close the door on the chicken coop. He even got over most of the head shyness. Then on Monday morning I gave him some milk before I left for work, kissed him and told him I would see him when I got back. When I got home from work Pooch didn't come off the porch like he normally did. When I got to the porch his bed was empty. I called and called that night, the next morning and night but Pooch didn't come and still has not returned and I guess he never will.

Now normally, or abnormally I would have cried at my loss or wrote a poem and that would have been the end of the whole episode but I can't cry and no words are in my head begging to get out. It just eats at me everyday. Not so much that he left but my reaction or lack there of to it.

As Paul Harvey would have said "Now you know the rest of the story".

Thank you all for your views on this.

Rachel

[Bree-asaurus]

I remember years ago when my sister started anti-depressants that one of the main complaints when taking them was feeling like a zombie. It would ease your depression but also make you seem emotionless or unable to express emotion. I have no idea how that has changed with the new anti-depressants over the years. I know that the two I have taken (Lexapro and now Cymbalta) don't give me any side effects, but that's just my experience. Due to the timing and common complaints, I would imagine your inability to express your sadness is because of the anti-depressants.

If it bothers you enough, try talking to your doctor or psychiatrist about trying a different anti-depressant. There are so many on the market these days that there's bound to be one that eases your depression without causing this problem.

Towards the beginning of my transition, I was having a hard time dealing with things and would cry a lot. But I've noticed that I don't really cry that much anymore and I'm positive it's because I've become far happier with myself and my life. I still bawl my eyes out during sad movies. Even from one of the sad episodes of Nip/Tuck!

[Marleena]

My doctor put me on Cymbalta for pain after a neck and shoulder injury. Since it's main use is as an antidepressant I turned "flat" emotionally like you are describing Rachel. Unlike Bree I had most of the bad side effects. I had to get off of it. Weaning off of it was dreadful too, those side effects were even worse. However it worked great for pain relief except you needed to keep increasing the doseage.

[Bree-asaurus]

My doctor put me on Cymbalta for pain after a neck and shoulder injury. Since it's main use is as an antidepressant I turned "flat" emotionally like you are describing Rachel. Unlike Bree I had most of the bad side effects. I had to get off of it. Weaning off of it was dreadful too, those side effects were even worse. However it worked great for pain relief except you needed to keep increasing the doseage.

Oh god yes! I just want to post again to say the Cymbalta withdrawal effects are horrible! BEWARE when talking to your doctor about other anti-depressants to try! You can Google "Cymbalta withdrawal" and find a TON of info about it. It works great for me but I've missed a few days before and after learning more about the withdrawal issues, I am not looking forward to the day I decide I can stop. I have heard that some people have been able to switch from Cymbalta to Prozac with no issues and then taper off the Prozac (which has far fewer withdrawal issues).

And just another note, which Marleena reminded me about, is that not every anti-depressant works the same on everybody. It's kind of a trial and error situation when trying to find the one that works right for you.

[Marissa]

I don't like or have never been prescribe any meds that alter my thoughts or emotions.. even at time of surgery or that devil (dentist) tried to do work, i said i was good, even though I wasn't after one shot :) Something about being in control of my actions..which is funny.. couple of teq shots and i'm gone..lol..anyway..back to the thread..

I did my tour in Iraq..in the midst of it, I came to terms my marriage was going to end..and in one incident, something hit me.. now after being home 3 yrs.. i cry for the stupidist reasons.. mostly when i watch tv shows/movie..but a tear drops.. especially if it has to do with serving your country.. yes, i feel whimpy...but i smile..cuz I have been told that I don't show emotions..lol.. now look at me..such a wreck.. :)

[whowhatwhen]

+1 On Cymbalta withdrawal, miss a dose and you will want to die.

Antidepressants are meant to be monitored closely by a qualified mental health professional, if you don't like how things are going then you should bring this up immediately with your care provider.

Which antidepressant are you taking?

[ReineD]

Now normally, or abnormally I would have cried at my loss or wrote a poem and that would have been the end of the whole episode but I can't cry and no words are in my head begging to get out. It just eats at me everyday. Not so much that he left but my reaction or lack there of to it.

I'm sorry for your loss. :sad: :hugs:

We were given a puppy decades ago, while we were both working before we started our family (the ex and I). Initially I was going to give it away since neither one of us was home all day, but after the weekend I couldn't part with him. My ex & I built a dog house, we had a breezeway next to the house, and we built a small enclose where he stayed during the day. We owned him for about 18 months and one day somehow he got out of the enclosure, ran across the street, and was run over. He wasn't killed but his lower body was squished and he would never be able to use his hind legs. We had him put to sleep. I was utterly disconsolate and so was my ex.

Sorry I misunderstood. :hugs:

[Simply Joslyn]

I used to be on prozac back in elementary school and after awhile I got really annoued with it because I couldn't express emotion, my world wasn't any easier, I wasn't any happier and I couldn't cry or get angry, it was torture really all it ever did was help my parents deal with the fact that I was a human and not they're puppet, by literaly making me a puppet. Now this isn't to meant to sound like anti-deppresents are nessarily bad, they just weren't for me, I wasn't depressed I was just a kid who was often bullied and my parents didn't quite care to give a care to any of my problems. I still rarely cry and I do miss that though I have moments when I'm able to, the way I see it now though is while the antidepressants do keep your mood at a constant also know that as a society we've become quite numb, there is so much pain and horror in the world that eventually it can't hurt anymore. I do suggest you speak to your therapist as you plan I'm sure they'll be able to help you and I wish you the best of luck.

[Ziko]

I was put on Zoloft as a teenager for depression, and it did absolutely nothing for my mood, but it made it impossible to cry. I still had stuff to cry over, I still felt the same amount of depression, but the tears wouldn't come. It ultimately made me feel worse than when I was off the meds.

Many years later, I was put on "generic zoloft". Sertraline. The effect was a massive difference. I felt totally "normal", the only difference was I was no longer suicidal. I had less mood swings, but I didn't notice I had less mood swings. It was great.

If the not crying is bothering you, try asking for a generic version of whatever you are taking. It may work better for you (and it is certainly cheaper).

[Rachel Smith]

Thank you all.

Rachel

[Rachel Smith]

I talked with my therapist on Wed. She said I seemed happier then before the anti-d's and I agree with her on that. Then I told her about Pooch and that I couldn't cry. She said since we just increased my dose 4 weeks ago that we wait until this script is all before we change anything at this time. She also said it may just be a trade-off. I told her I didn't like not being able to express my sadness and that I felt kinda flat with that. I also talked some with her about HRT but the closest place she would feel comfortable sending me is to John Hopkins in Baltimore but that is about a 2 hour one way drive from here :sad: . So if we decide to go that route I will have to take a day off work to go. I will go see my GP to see if she knows of anyone in Roanoke or at least closer to me.

Love
Rachel